To be very sad and angry when I see a child getting smacked

[ohnoudidnt]

Was shopping today and have never seen a child get hit so hard ...he was about 3 ...It really upset me.I do not agree with hurting a child in any way and wish it could be banned.

YANBU - I haven't had time to read the whole thread but I don't agree with smacking either.
How can you teach a child not to hit others if you hit them? How can you teach them not to swear if you swear at them? Children learn from everything you do.

SequinAndSparkles and Cat98... You actually have no idea whether the posters here smack their chilren or not nor whether your wild assumptions that they will live in fear of their parents if they are smacked. Just because somebody might have been smacked as a child doesn't make their parents abusers and it doesn't mean that they will then grow up to smack their own children. You can refer to studies all you like, they are pretty ineffective tools for determining the damage that has apparently been done, there are other studies showing a whole host of other hypothesis and all that it really demonstrates is that people use these pointless paper exercises to try to make an argument. That is ridiculous. The topic is so subjective and there are myriad extensions of it. If you want to persist in shrieking 'justifying abuse and physical violence', that's up to you but be prepared to be called on it.

I'm convinced that some posters really do have myopic vision when it comes to real life situations. The live their lives by studies, endlessly referring to them (in abstract) and blindly apply bits of it to make it fit.

I really couldn't care less about the asumptions some of you take such gratification in making, they're pointless, incorrect even, but... as you were.

It is illegal to smack your child "unless it Amounts to reasonable punishment", and "unreasonable" if it leaves a Mark or is done with an object.
Touchy subject.

i think smacking does have a place in firm loving discipline and teaching kids whats acceptable and what isnt

but it should never be done to hurt the child, but to teach them.

Lying I struggle to see how your post was relevent to anything I have previously said? Although, I am addressing the people on this thread who have said they do smack, and believe it to be a valid form of discipline. I most certainly do not have a myopic version of real life, I have been through a lot in my life and I don't live in a little bubble where everything is fine and dandy, I am tolerant of people and I am not shortsighted, but I do not believe there is a good excuse for smacking. I don't think that anything you say will change my mind on that.

I would always challenge a parent who hit their children, I would also grab a witness and call the police wherever possible. I recently overheard a woman in Sainsburys threatening her toddler "wiv a smack if ya don't shut it" I pointed out to her that smacking was illegal she told me to mind my own and jog on, her partner was obviously terrified of her and I hate to think what goes on in that household. I told her children in a very loud voice that hitting children was against the law and if their mother did it again they were to tell a teacher or a policeman. Her mouth gaped like a fish.

Good for you Al0uiseG I've never known what to say before, but what you said to the children, is perfect.

I would always challenge a parent who hit their children, I would also grab a witness and call the police wherever possible.

Bear in mind smacking is not illegal in England an Wales of course.

Given that most other methods of disciplining naughty kids involve verbal or emotional abuse of some sort, or withholding benefits, I do think there is a certain amount of grandstanding going on here....

smacking is always wrong.

If like prople are saying, hitting doesn't work as if it did you wouldn't have to do it more than once, then neither does the naughty step, taking toys away, reasoning with the child, I've lost count of the amount if times my son has lost the privalige of the playstation this year!

Whatmeworry you seriously believe that you cannot discipline your child without abusing them in one way or another?

I don't see why people think making smacking illegal is going to help all those children who suffer serious abuse

An adult who bruises, pulls a child's nails out ,burns it with cigerettes ,bites it and breaks it's back whilst covering it up so ss don't realise knows they will be sent to prison, making it illegal is not going to stop that sick behaviour

I don't need to altinkum, I was sexually abused as a child, as well as emotionally abused and believe me I have plenty of tales of horror which are 'worse' than smacking. I am not blind to things that happen, but just because worse things happen to children it still, in my opinion, doesn't mean that smacking is ok.

This really is a can of worms isn't it?

If I might weigh-in with my 2p worth; my husband is from a culture where children are still routinely smacked and he has large scars on his back from the beltings he got as a child (which is very distressing!). The children in this culture are very well behaved and have absolute respect for their parents & elders, but they are also happy because they get a lot of love and solid boundaries. However, the knock-on effect is that their behaviour to each other (usually during play), is often very violent and all their games involve hitting or hurting each other in some way.

I don't know whether smacking is totally wrong or not.

Is it possible to disapprove of smacking (which I do) yet have smacked your children occasionally? Everyone on here seems to be so anti- or pro-smacking as a discipline method. I can see it's not ideal, I endeavour never to hit my children, but once or twice I have smacked them (usually when it's been in an extreme situation such as them smacking me in the face when little and my glasses being thrown off and me responding rather too instinctively) when they were little.

I don't 'believe' in it, but would be wary of criminalizing whole swathes of people who rarely smack their children, but have done on the odd occasion. I also think MN is quite odd in that many people are trenchantly anti-smacking, whereas I don't think I have a friend in RL who hasn't smacked their children once or twice (and then felt very guilty). None of them smack their children regularly, or think it's a great discipline method or smack them in public, we are talking once every six months if that. I might ask them, I'm pretty sure most have- are we highly unusual?

So tell me altinkum, if you smacked your child in front of a health visitor/doctor/social worker or whatever, they would think nothing of it - because it's legal? There would be no fallout from it, at all? I doubt that.

I also feel upset when I see children told off in public, or their parents are really cross at them. Yet, I think those are perfectly reasonable when I do them. That is another mystery to me.

Lying - what makes you think I live my life by studies? I don't - I am vehemently anti physical punishment for children, amd would be were it not for the existance of any studies. But I had a look around last time this came up - and there have been studies done! Not saying they themselves are black and white, of course not, but to me they add more weight behind my argument. Maybe they don't to you, fair enough. Even if you ignore that reference in my post, you can see I still have many reasons that I believe are right. Also - I don't think every child who is smacked will suffer or is being abused. But imo it can be a slippery slope, also imo even if it does no harm it cannot do any good.