To be very sad and angry when I see a child getting smacked

[ohnoudidnt]

Was shopping today and have never seen a child get hit so hard ...he was about 3 ...It really upset me.I do not agree with hurting a child in any way and wish it could be banned.

I know it was it's on this thread somewhere near the end

That's what I was referring to piglet. That I was shocked that anyone would be spanked at 15/16 let alone on the bare. That is fucking barbaric! My mum would have killed my dad had he ever tried to pull a stunt like that. Pubesecent children should never have their clothing removed against their will-especially to "discipline". There comes a time when a child's body/nakedness and crossing that boundary is fundementally wrong, and I think that's why Nancy infers there must be a sexual element for the adult in doing this to an older child, although I am not sure I necessarily agree with that

On holiday last week I saw a 6 year old being smacked. he and his mother were in the sea in full view of lots of people on the beach, most people on the beach and the mother and child were British. A loud murmur of disgust went up along the beach and many jumped up in horror, but no one did or said anything - myself included.
I thought about it a lot afterwards but even though I disagree with smacking children I don't feel I could challenge someone on their chosen method of discipline.

I was hit as a child, quite horribly at times. I was always of the ' i didn't do me any harm ' school. Its's funny how when you have children of your own, you see the past differently.

My DD is 3, and i just couldn't see myself hitting her, i just couldn't. I try not to judge those who do use smacking as discipline, but i know it's just not right for me.

Meant to add, i remembered flinching if my mother raised her hands around me, and i'd get hit for flinching, i was really scared of her at times. I'd forgotten all about it until i had my own child. And also the feelings of humilation if i got hit in front of my cousins/friends.

Awful, i'd hate my child to be scared of me.

"My DCs are well behaved balanced and I can take them almost anywhere"

Well I can take my DC anywhere not almost anywhere and I don't have to smack them to be able to do it.

I don't fundamentally agree with smacking but sometimes I scream at my dc and I do wonder if that is not just as bad really .

"Meant to add, i remembered flinching if my mother raised her hands around me, and i'd get hit for flinching, i was really scared of her at times. I'd forgotten all about it until i had my own child. And also the feelings of humilation if i got hit in front of my cousins/friends. "

Me too, it would enrage her if I tried to defend myself or flinched. Now when you consider that it is your natural instinct to defend yourself, I think it is incredibly dangerous to override that in a child by insisting that they allow you to physically hurt them without trying to defend themselves. I was in an abusive relationship with my ex H for nearly 8 years. Why did I stay so long? Because my natural instinct to get the fuck out of that dangerous situation had been totally supressed by my abusive mother, thats why.

Therefore no smacking of children is acceptable imvho.

akae I didn't argue with my DH for two years, i'd just clam up and do anything to avoid confrontation (he's not violent btw). He taught me it's ok to argue and have discussions, it doesn't lead to violence in healthy relationships.

I've tried talking to my mother about her hitting me, but she has different recollections . Even now when we have have a family get together, my brothers, cousins, they all say at some point " bloody hell pathan you used to get some beatings" . And i feel the panic rising, transported straight back.

Your right it just damages you in ways you don't even start to understand for such a long time.

I remember my mum slapping me round the face as a teenager and I clearly remember slapping her back. (can't remember what happened next)
Sort of shows how something like smacking a child encourages them to react with violence.

Well it has banned smacking so a mark is left. Not great in my mind and very difficult to "police" but there you go..

I don't think some of us will ever convince each other personally :) I could never equate choosing to hit my own child (or any child of course!) as being an option, full stop. So I know I will never be convinced it is ok. however I have been convinced that lots of loving parents do choose to smack and imo although it is misguided of course it is their choice. It's interesting to discuss as I could never discuss this irl with a smacker but would mind my own bloody business but whereas there are lots of things around parenting I could be swayed on, this is not one of them. I would back the nspcc's campaign 100%, though agree there are more important issues, but that doesn't mean other issues should be ignored.

Oh and my own situation, I was smacked occasionally, not with anything or hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to sting and hurt. I don't hate my parents for it (it was mostly my dad, I only remember mum smacking me once) but I do know I have a tendency to lash out in anger (never at the dc) even though I know this is wrong. I wonder if this is partly due to the smacking though I will never know. I know my dad loved me, I just think he made a mistake choosing to smack. It didn't stop me being naughty, it meant I was less likely to admit to something (more likely to lie :) )