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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't think I am but am prepared to be told I am if the MN Jury thinks so

477 replies

fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 02/07/2011 16:24

DD1 is 12, she is at her dad's this weekend, and has gone to her grandmother as they have a farm and it is silage time.

She has just sent me a picture of herself in overalls DRIVING A TRACTOR WITH A TRAILER ON IT

I have texted her and she is delighted to be allowed to cart the "near home" fields where she doesn't have to go on the road.

I am most displeased about this. I think it's dangerous and irresponsible.

But past conversations with ex when DS was this age did not go well, as he cannot see the problem nor can his family. They all did it at that age.

So, oh MN July, AIBU to think she's too young, it's too much responsibility and far too dangerous?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 02/07/2011 16:27

YABU

What a fantastic opportunity!

She's not out on the roads and I assume they've given her a safety talk?

HettyAmaretti · 02/07/2011 16:27

YANBU

I'm afraid it is common practice in farming families, but no less dangerous or irresponsible for it.

gillybean2 · 02/07/2011 16:27

Presumably it's legal for her to drive this vehicle tractor as it's on private land? I guess you could ask if she's insured to drive it.

So the issue is that you don't like it.
Unfortunately you'll probably have to accept that what she does while at her dad's is up to him.

Original poster
fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 02/07/2011 16:28

I assume so. I just think she's too wee to be driving such a huge tractor and trailer Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 02/07/2011 16:29

X-posts - yes it's on private land, so legal.

Insurance I don't know about.

I don't like it - I think she's too wee the tractor is massive Sad

(I haven't said anything to her btw just be careful)

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 16:29

Regardless of any legal age limit, I would say it's pretty normal from when I was growing up.

Half the fun of being on a farm was driving the tractor.

I presume she had someone nearby and wasn't just bombing about while they were sat supping their tea.

worraliberty · 02/07/2011 16:30

When you say 'wee'...do you mean too young or physically too small?

HettyAmaretti · 02/07/2011 16:31

Oh no, you wont be able to stop it. She'd be a laughing stock among the local DC if you did manage to.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/07/2011 16:31

You're being unreasonable. It's private land and your daughter is spending time with her father. He wouldn't put her in harm's way anymore than you would. You don't have right of veto - not unless you are prepared for him to have a say in what you do/don't do with your daughter. Stop trying to micro-manage - for your own sake - and for your daughter's relationship with her dad.

AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 16:31

I don't think how big you are matters if you think of people driving those huge lorries, I know they're adults and more experienced, but every inch of a farm can be pretty dangerous in one way or another.

meditrina · 02/07/2011 16:33

YABU - I agree with posters above.

But I thought it might help you get used to this if you console yourself with the thought of the fortune you stand to save in driving lessons as she'll have a good level of competence and spatial awareness already. And it is only 5 years away.

worraliberty · 02/07/2011 16:34

Zigzag I always work on the assumption if your feet can reach the peddles and you can see over the steering wheel...your onto a winner Grin

bigTillyMint · 02/07/2011 16:35

YABU

I got to drive a tractor in France on my French Exchange trip when I was 12. It was great fun and surrounded by all the French teens, etc. IIRC someone was standing up by me telling me what to do - maybe same for your DD?

swallowedAfly · 02/07/2011 16:35

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Salmotrutta · 02/07/2011 16:36

It really is pretty common for farm kids to be doing this sort of thing.
I'm sure they are watching out for her and from a purely practical point of view (aside from making sure she is safe) they won't want her damaging the equipment either as it's pretty expensive to fix.
And they will, I'm sure, be considering her safety first and foremost unless you have reason to think otherwise?

swallowedAfly · 02/07/2011 16:36

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AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 16:36

I used to love driving the car with my dad when I was younger (on private land of course) and DD1 had a go when she was three with her dad Grin

I didn't feel that safe in the back Grin

Salmotrutta · 02/07/2011 16:36

Don't mean that to sound as if all they are thinking about is their expensive equipment Confused Blush

handsomeharry · 02/07/2011 16:37

Totally agree with LyingWitch. This really is just another stress for you. You can do nothing about this, she is with her father and having fun. Please try not to think about it too much.

SydSaid · 02/07/2011 16:38

I think YABU.
She will be having a ball, she will be driving slowly. I would be more concerned if she was on a quad, to be honest. They are more dangerous.

Original poster
fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 02/07/2011 16:39

BTW I am not going to veto it, and I know she drives the tractors, but putting the silage trailer on the back somehow is a different ball game for me.

I'm not micro managing Lyingwitch honestly, I just am not comfortable with it - but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop it.

FWIW she has the smallest silage trailer, and she's getting paid, £35 for a days work so she is delighted Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 02/07/2011 16:40

Her Dad isn't there, it's my BIL who is the farmer

Ex is off playing cricket

OP posts:
Original poster
fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 02/07/2011 16:42

Salmotrutta - DS1 when he was 15 had a brand new tractor (3 weeks old top of the range Massey) and slurry cart and slid it all the way down a field when he was allowed to spread slurry, and had to drive on the road, unsupervised and illegally, to get there. He had to be towed out by his granda.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 02/07/2011 16:43

Awww - bless her, £35 will seem like a fortune to her. Grin

nickelbabe · 02/07/2011 16:43

YABU.
As long as she's had the proper safety checks, and she's not on the road, i don't see a problem with it.

I used to live on a farm where the children drove/rode on tractors since they were small, and noone suffererd any injuries from it.

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