I don't think I am but am prepared to be told I am if the MN Jury thinks so

[fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran]

DD1 is 12, she is at her dad's this weekend, and has gone to her grandmother as they have a farm and it is silage time.

She has just sent me a picture of herself in overalls DRIVING A TRACTOR WITH A TRAILER ON IT

I have texted her and she is delighted to be allowed to cart the "near home" fields where she doesn't have to go on the road.

I am most displeased about this. I think it's dangerous and irresponsible.

But past conversations with ex when DS was this age did not go well, as he cannot see the problem nor can his family. They all did it at that age.

So, oh MN July, AIBU to think she's too young, it's too much responsibility and far too dangerous?

Helen , I think Gnome has hit the nail on the head. People are trying to justify their own ignorance / negligence , or that of their families, rather than engaging in a debate about the validity of the Law and Governments.

For some reason, lots of people seem to be under the impression that FMP's daughter is pedalling around a field on a toy, rather than operating dangerous agricultural machinery. Farms are not some idyllic Enid Blyton world of milk churns and ginger beer; they are dangerous work places where everyone needs to be legally employable for the task, trained, and operating within the law.

This cuddly image that farms have seems to be clouding people's judgement. I cannot imagine anyone saying that the poster was coming over all Islington if she objected to the ex taking their 12yo to work -illegally , untrained and without safety equipment- 4 stores up in the family scaffolding business.

storeys

Inertia - thank you.

FMP no worries - again, as Gnome says , though this thread has been frustrating for you, some readers might now have a better idea of safety and the law around this issue.

And we ought to remember that this law was brought in because, at some point, safety experts and legislators realised that significant numbers of children were being killed or maimed on farms.

Inertia - again, I agree with you

I have found the insults hard to take they are unwarranted

God Gawd - half the people on this thread seem to have lost leave of their senses - it just goes on and on

good luck pink and don't be affected by the insults, you really can't respect their opinions

Thanks Gooseberry - I still want to know how many of the oh you spoilsport brigade take their kids in cars with no car seats or seatbelts.

Because I am seriously struggling to see the difference.

As to the insults - I have found them really hurtful. I have never ever stopped my ex seeing the kids, I have bent over backwards to accomodate him and never ever bad mouthed him to the children. I am not doing this just to get at him because I am a nasty ex-wife - the same debate was had with DS when he was the same age.

Maryz -I've asked that same question a number of times and no one has come back to answer me.

Am trying to be as patient as possible but it is difficult. And as I've said the insults about being Islington and cotton wool and only out to get the ex are so far off the mark and have upset me to the point of tears. I've tried to do my best to co-parent and not cause runctions and it's just a slap in the face when all I want to do is protect my daughter, keep her safe and make sure she isn't put in danger. Oh and doesn't get a criminal record.

How that translates into having a go at the ex I don't know.

Pink, really, do ignore. Don't let it bug you. Definitely not worth it and they are Not Right, whereas you are Absolutely Right. The abuse is just par for the course for when people disagree with you and then find out they're wrong and have to get all harrumphy.

I wonder what would happen if I posted "my daughter was on a tractor yesterday and she ran over a wee boy and he's dead and the parents are screaming at me because it's illegal she shouldn't have been driving the tractor but you know that's tough on them because she was having fun oh and they've bucklies of compensation because there's no insurance and now the police want to charge her the interfering busibodies"

Double dare??

I would have to name change

okayyy..

Go on Gooseberry I double dare ya

Totally different set of reactions over the other thread then, huh?

Exactly Maryz.

And I'll now say what I pm'd Goose to say - thank you - point proved.

And as to the "on the farm yes but not on the road" comment - the farm this year, the road will be next I know it and there's not loads of room on the farm either, it's a small yard and narrow lanes.

But yes - again, totally different set of responses

i think it's absolutely shocking that your ex will allow his child to illegally operate a dangerous machine while he isn't even present to keep an eye on her. and i am irish, and i come from a farming background and i know that the garda might roll their eyes if you call them, but if there is a record of any kind of your contact with them they will act on it. ditto hse - copy an email to them with an attachment of the photo of your daughter on the tractor and they will act, because if they've been informed and something happens, then they're negligent too. if it comes to it. because the services here might be overstretched, but they are also highly risk averse on the litigation front.

OMG that is awful, yes you should contact the Police. She shouldn't be driving a tractor at her age, she is in charge of a dangerous vehicle. You were lucky, the next person might not be".

YABU

sorry but if mine got the chance id let them do it. Think its just an ex issue not a safety one.

crje keeping in mind that it is illegal for a child under the age of 13 (UK) or 14 (Ireland) to even be on the tractor would you reconsider?

Oh yes, dont forget that your DC wouldnt be insured so any harm they caused (like injury, damage etc) wouldnt be covered.

On the other hand, would you be quite happy for your DC to be in the yard if my under age children were -buggering about with-- driving the tractor?

crje time for a rethink perhaps?

Crje - have you read the whole thread?

As has been said ad nauseum, there's no difference between how I feel now about this and how I felt when it was DS and I was still married.

DS had a very serious "near miss" btw which could have killed him.

Also, driving on the road will be the next step, either now or in a few months.

Then everything Gnome said.

Plus, if I wanted to get at my ex, there are a myriad of other ways I could have chosen long before now.

And it's ILLEGAL. If she ran over your child or crashed into your car, there will be no insurance pay out. It is ILLEGAL for her to be even on a tractor, never mind drive it.