I don't think I am but am prepared to be told I am if the MN Jury thinks so

[fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran]

DD1 is 12, she is at her dad's this weekend, and has gone to her grandmother as they have a farm and it is silage time.

She has just sent me a picture of herself in overalls DRIVING A TRACTOR WITH A TRAILER ON IT

I have texted her and she is delighted to be allowed to cart the "near home" fields where she doesn't have to go on the road.

I am most displeased about this. I think it's dangerous and irresponsible.

But past conversations with ex when DS was this age did not go well, as he cannot see the problem nor can his family. They all did it at that age.

So, oh MN July, AIBU to think she's too young, it's too much responsibility and far too dangerous?

If she was IN the tank, yes. Driving it, no

It's easy for us to say though fuckme because she's not our baby.

I don't blame you feeling uneasy about it even though I agree with what the majority of posters have said.

I think it,s common practise and legal, but my mum tells me she has known of some really horrible tractor accidents, so you are right to be wary. I know life is dangerous but I would be scared too.

YABU - It'll be great for her confidence

BTW if it makes a difference, she's on her own. Drives to the field with the trailer on and drives round the field following the harvester, then back to the yard, tips up at the silo and then begins again.

No one with her, no one following her. Some of the fields are quite far away even though she doesn't have to drive on the road.

Pointless comment but I recently read of a 12 year old boy who wasn't allowed to drive his father's tractor but he did when a bull gored his father. He used the tractor to encourage the bull away. The father survived.

FAB - you aren't helping the old "bad" bull broke out of the old crush when he was getting clipped years ago when DS was small and he recalls running in and hiding in the house with granny

Actually when I think about it there's been a lot of accidents of one sort or another at the farm.

DS and the slurry slide
BIL rolling the JCB
Run over dogs (loads)
Bull escaping into the yard
Bull pushing against FIL and breaking ribs
Assorted gates/posts being clipped by tractors/trailers
BIL rolling the car over on its roof down a lane
DS nearly crashing a brand new jeep when he forgot to put the handbrake on (oops ) and having to jump back in in a panic

Don't know if this will help, but I've recently started taking five minutes to think through a mini risk assessment in my head when faced with being scared about something going wrong for the dcs (school trips to the beach, that sort of thing). So, in this case it would be 'what might happen?'
'what would be the outcome?' 'how can it be prevented?' 'what are the chances?' eg tractor tipping over; dd trapped under it; proper instruction; regular checks by family/ timed returns to the house; low risk as land is flat etc etc thro every imaginary scenario.

Worth a shot?

She has her mobile, but as DS found to his cost when he did the slurry slide and had to wait 3 hours to be rescued sitting in the tractor, they don't always work in rural areas.

Grumpy - that's what I'm talking about - the what if's

I know I'm a bit PFB (even though she's not lol) but she has a massive responsibility - what if she knocks down a dog, what if she crashes into a wall and demolishes a building, what if the tractor tips and she gets trapped, what if she panics and it all goes pear shaped somehow what if what if

what if she knocks down a dog? well, it will die; go to the vet; be fine. Presumably your dd will be told to watch out for animals, and be reassured in advance that she will not be responsible for any that get in the way. So, sad dd is the worst case scenario.

If she crashes in to a wall? The insurance will have to pay. Your dd will be found quickly due to the noise, and receive medical attention if necessary.

Do you see what I mean?

If she crashes Grumpypants it could kill her.

Ok, so it's been said already, loads, but had to add...
YABU - understandably so, because (obv) it's sadly rare that 12y.os. get to drive tractors. But I can't see why it's any more dangerous than many other activities that it would be a shame to miss out out (sports, swimming in sea, cycling, adventure holidays, etc.), and really, what an awesome thing to be able to do at GPs (or anywhere else). And not illegal on private land.
(Can completely understand your feeling uncomfortable, but wanted to chip in, as I think it sounds bloody brilliant, tbh.)

I know she's enjoying it.

And yes I am being a little PFB

But if any of you have 12 year olds can you honestly say you wouldn't feel the same?

(Not to say not to let them do it, but would you not feel uneasy?)

she's just texted. They got an extra tenner each for helping with the milking, feeding the wee calves and lifting the dead chickens in the chicken houses

I killed my own thread

She will be working til midnight or after

It's slave bloody labour

You should be really proud of her (which I'm sure you are) she sounds really confident and not afraid of a bit of hard work.

Bet she still complains when you ask her to tidy her room though

She sounds like she's having a whale of a time. She'll be all rosy cheeked when she comes home. :)

Her room is a disaster zone

Am proud of her - but she says she smells really really bad

She's all chuffed that she's being allowed to work as late as "the men"

Swallowed - that's it, I'm not stopping it, but I feel a bit anxious, not panicking just slightly worried.

Don't talk to me about the chicken corpses - I couldn't do it but it doesn't bother her.