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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really hate going to toddler groups?

199 replies

MogadoredMemoo · 01/03/2011 12:06

Am I some kind of freak because I can't stand them?

I Find it really hard to strike up conversations with other parents. I get all PFB over DD when anyone else's child snatches or pushes (even though she is actually my precious third born). The noise levels hurt my ears and I'm always the one who ends up sat doing the gluing with 10 other kids whilst their parents sit in the corner talking and drinking tea. By the time I get home I feel like I need 5 valium and a bottle of whisky

OP posts:
worraliberty · 01/03/2011 12:08

Yep I hated them too! I still took my kids to them, but I couldn't wait to get home.

OffToNarnia · 01/03/2011 12:08

I hate them too. I keep wanting to wipe other kids noses..

perfumedlife · 01/03/2011 12:10

YANBU I loathed toddler group. I felt like a freak when mothers with newborns were talking about wanting another. I found it hard to cope with my only child, had health issues that were undiagnosed and just basically wanted to stay in the warm house and drink tea Smile

Ds was too young to play with others too, and I certainly didn't enjoy the endless chat about other people's kids.

I went three times and jacked it in.

SunshineOnARainyDay · 01/03/2011 12:11

Gosh yes, awful places - for the adults. I was the same as you and would always be the one sat playing with the other kids as DD was so clingy and all the other mothers would be sat chatting and I never got to drink my tea as I had all these little ones to entertain. When DS was born we stopped going altogether!

perfumedlife · 01/03/2011 12:12

Oh yes Narnia, the other kids noses [shocked] Never wiped, gross.

I much preferred taking ds to the art galleries or sometimes we took a 1p flight to Paris for the day. Much more fun.

worraliberty · 01/03/2011 12:12

Only time I ever caught nits was from a toddler group, sitting at the table making playdough shapes with other kids.

JaxTellersOldLady · 01/03/2011 12:12

I struggled with toddler group with my first. I just thought that I had absolutely nothing in common with anyone - apart from having a baby!

I found a nice group when I had my DD a few years later, probably helped that by that time I knew more people.

YANBU to not like them.

JeremyVile · 01/03/2011 12:13

Toddler groups are hideous.

Go out instead, plenty of other kids to mix with at the park/swimming pool etc.

worraliberty · 01/03/2011 12:13

(sicks up a bit) Yep there were always snotty kids there with a pair of candles hanging out their nostrils!!

hmmm54 · 01/03/2011 12:14

YANBU but it's good preparation for the horror that is the school playground. I find that much worse.

JeremyVile · 01/03/2011 12:14

Daytrips to galleries in Paris instead of toddler group may be a little.... unsustainable? Grin

GORGEOUSX · 01/03/2011 12:14

YANBU. Dreadful places, full of toddlers and their vile parents. Grin

Original poster
MogadoredMemoo · 01/03/2011 12:15

Phew! glad its not just me. I don't want to go any more but feel like I am depriving DD if I don't.

Oh god yes snotty kids! or there is always one with a stinking nappy.

DD is 17 months and drags me round the room. I spend half of the session sat amongst a load of toddlers and trying to dodge metal cars and wooden building blocks that are being thrown across the room.

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 01/03/2011 12:16

They're ok as long as you have some actual friends there to talk to. Otherwise it is mind numbingly boring, making polite chat with people on a limited range of subjects. Mainly poo and milk for the under 1s, what they eat and when they nap for 1-2, and what marvellous accomplishments they have from 2+. Ugh.

Original poster
MogadoredMemoo · 01/03/2011 12:16

Day trips to galleries in Paris sounds much more appealing.

OP posts:
Rannaldini · 01/03/2011 12:16

i never went as i thought dull

don't go

perfumedlife · 01/03/2011 12:17

You get the idea though Jeremy, sometimes it was Brussels, just wherever was cheap.

Sometimes we stayed in and listened to you, you and me were separated at birth musically Grin

RudeEnglishLady · 01/03/2011 12:17

YANBU

Its so draining.

DS is the youngest and although he can sit and play the bigger ones will stand on him / wipe snot on him / start dragging him about if I put him on the floor.

The other week a 3 year old slapped him because he wouldn't give her the toy he was holding. He's 7 months old :(

I only go because I think he enjoys watching the toddlers going crazy and I like the other Mums. I look forward to when he can fight back and not have to sit on my knee for 2 hours Grin

Original poster
MogadoredMemoo · 01/03/2011 12:18

I don't really know anyone there so that does make it harder. I do try to have little chats but my brain just freezes and I have no idea what to say, so just end up sat that like a big billy no mates!

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 01/03/2011 12:21

YANBU if you hate them, that's your prerogative.

However, I would be lost without both of the ones DS and I go to, they have been the only source of people I have met and who I talk to since moving here (Australia). I have made friends there and they have helped me find good hairdressers, dentists, shops for specialist stuff - plus I have people I can invite round and who will invite me round. Seein that DH has no friends left here (well, ok, 2 but we've only seen either of them twice in 1.5y) I would be a social recluse without mine.

I actually dislike DS's activity groups more (football, dance) as the parents there don't seem to want to talk to you at all unless you already know them from elsewhere - which I don't.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/03/2011 12:22

YANBU at all. DD started going when we moved to Bangkok. I had nothing at all in common with the Thai nannies who were the main carers for the babies.
DD really seemed to enjoy it. I am such a good mum Hmm

Laquitar · 01/03/2011 12:23

You are not freak. Most of my friends and myself hated them too.

I enjoyed very much taking my dcs to the park sometimes with other mums/toddlers so they got social interaction, exercise plus fresh air. And i was getting nice walk and fresh air too. Even in the winter is fine if you wear gloves, hat etc. And it is free! When it was very cold or rainy we went to each other's house.

I guess these groups are good if you are very isolated and live in a tiny flat or you have no toys/books at all at home. But they are not compulsory.

thumbwitch · 01/03/2011 12:23

MInd you - I have to say that the playgroups I go to here seem to be very different from the ones people in the UK tend to describe - all the parents look out for all the children and no child is allowed to get away with being mean to another without someone intervening. Proper "community" parenting - I like that.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 01/03/2011 12:27

Memoo - the thing is, they aren't all created equally. Some are hidious and others are great - try some others, when you find a good one it's brilliant. Also, tell DD that Mummies aren't allowed to play with the toys at this one then she will learn to play by herself and near/with others while you enjoy some adult company and dress/undress the odd baby she brings you. Having to grub around on the floor for a couple of hours isn't much fun.

suzikettles · 01/03/2011 12:28

YANBU. I dodged them as I'm not great in that sort of situation and ds was already going to nursery 3 days a week aged 1 so I felt absolved from the need to find him groups of other tiny children to "play with".

I was working though so was getting my adult contact during the day. I've got SAHM friends who love them and have made great mates via toddler groups. Depends on the group and your personality I think.