"but that doesnt stop you sorting me out does it?"

[EhFattyBumBum]

In brief, mine and DPs sex life isnt the best. We have a nearly 2 y/o and having a tough time with his sleeping habits. We both also work f/t and are both often too tired to do anything, but when we do its great. No real complaints so far.

However, I have had thrush for about 3 - 4 days, very sore, very swollen, very itchy and just generally a bit miserable with it but hopefully its going away.

All last night DP is saying/hinting how I should have another drink and get pissed, and another, and "oooh the boy is tired maybe he will sleep for us tonight" to a generally less tactful "is your fanny still itching, maybe we can have an early night?".

I explain that not only am I still resisting the urge not to get a scouring pad, but he can catch it too and just pass it back to me if we did anything and sorry but I just dont think its the best idea.

He whinges that the one time for a little while that we get chance I have an excuse. I agree that yes it is shit that the one time we are BOTH awake I happen to have this.

Then, he says "well that doesnt stop you sorting me out does it?". I changed the subject, ignored him and he kept saying it.

We got to bed and more of the same, pawing me, grabbing hold of my hand and asking if that had thrush etc and eventually he tired of it and left me alone.

AIBU to now feel a bit offended by how he spoke to me? I felt like saying to him, yea I'll sort you out, now leave £20 on the nightstand.....

(namechange btw)

Oh, brilliant, 'hysterics'.

blueshoes, you spoil us with your terminology.

blueshoes I'm far from hysterical, believe me - just a bit sad that anyone would actually believe that sort of shite

Blueshoes, please help me deal with my hysteria, tell me what the peril is!?

I cannot believe some of you are suggesting she should have "serviced" her dh. She's not a prostitute who he can demand sexual acts from. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

OP, he is a PIG.

Those who don't see what "peril" there is in ignoring a partner's sexual needs:
(this applies to either sex tbh)

1, infidelity
2, using prostitutes (could come under 1 I guess)
3, relationship breakdown.

That's just three things I can think of off the top of my head. OTOH, both partners have to respect the needs of the other, and if the OP says no, bothering constantly for attention sounds very juvenile.

A partner should respect when other is not in mood, ill etc and if they instantly turn to your suggestions Kirk, they are idiots who don't deserve you.

I am agast at blueshoes comment what a load of shit!!

And kirks

Kirk1

1 - you cannot blame one person for another's infidelity
2 - see above
3 - takes two to tango. Maybe the bloke in question should learn to respect his wife's wishes.

I agree Blueshoes.

prostitution now equals wanking off your OH when you can't/ won't have sex? Drama queens.................

No, Connie, expecting OP to 'service' dh when she is in pain, not in mood, and he is more than capable of wanking himself off is tantamount to treating women like geishas or whores.

No drama, just treating women like objects to pleasure men no matter what.

Well she doesn't have to be 'in the mood' to wank him off.

A partner should also respect the others sexual needs and desires. Just because one partner decides they don't want to have sex anymore doesn't mean the other should happily accept the new status quo without question.

And this isn't necessarily a man/ woman thing either...it works both ways

Doesn't have to be, but surely it should be something they mutually want?

well obviously in the ideal world then yes, but when there's not been much on offer for a long time then you have to reconsider that position and give a little

Why should sex be any different form anything else?
I do a lot of things in my personal and professional life I'm not wild about but so as to bring pleasure/happiness/comfort/satsifaction/relief to people I care about.

Dansmummy would be Brians blue Balls arf

I can't imagine more of a turn off if I was in the mood and dp not, than asking him to 'sort me out' euch. Would rather do it myself. How could I get pleasure from coercing my partner unless I was a total twat? .... oh....

So women should offer sexual relief to male partners whenever the male partner wants it, irrespective of how the woman is feeling/if she is ill/etc etc.

Because if she doesn't service her man every time he asks, he might well fuck off.

Some of you must be with really horrible men.

have we had 'men need it more' yet? or 'men have needs ' or 'his balls will explode from the build up'? or 'he'll have an affair, mark my words!'?

connie, would you honestly want your partner to wank you off if you knew s/he wasn't feeling remotely turned on? Would it not be a huge turn-off?

Why would anyone even want to have sex with someone if they know that the other person really doesn't want to? I would never force my DH to perform sex acts on me if he was ill, or under any otehr circs, frankly.

Brian We've had 1, 2, and 4. Still waiting on 3.

Connie - try actually reading the OP, EFBB has never said she is off sex/doesn't want it anymore, she said they are often both too tired - quite common when you have FT jobs & a toddler. She's also said it's good when they do - so stop making him out to be some sex starved bloke whose partner doesn't want sex anymore.

Any of you who think she should just give him a hand job - would you want your partner to do the same to you if he wasn't in the mood? I bloody well wouldn't. He either wants to or I can sort myself out - I don't want someone doing out of a sense of duty thanks very much.

She may well have given him a hand job if he'd approached the whole thing differently but being asked 'Is your fanny still itching' and having him try to force you to give him a hand job really isn't the way forward is it FFS.