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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"but that doesnt stop you sorting me out does it?"

457 replies

EhFattyBumBum · 01/01/2011 14:21

In brief, mine and DPs sex life isnt the best. We have a nearly 2 y/o and having a tough time with his sleeping habits. We both also work f/t and are both often too tired to do anything, but when we do its great. No real complaints so far.

However, I have had thrush for about 3 - 4 days, very sore, very swollen, very itchy and just generally a bit miserable with it but hopefully its going away.

All last night DP is saying/hinting how I should have another drink and get pissed, and another, and "oooh the boy is tired maybe he will sleep for us tonight" to a generally less tactful "is your fanny still itching, maybe we can have an early night?".

I explain that not only am I still resisting the urge not to get a scouring pad, but he can catch it too and just pass it back to me if we did anything and sorry but I just dont think its the best idea.

He whinges that the one time for a little while that we get chance I have an excuse. I agree that yes it is shit that the one time we are BOTH awake I happen to have this.

Then, he says "well that doesnt stop you sorting me out does it?". I changed the subject, ignored him and he kept saying it.

We got to bed and more of the same, pawing me, grabbing hold of my hand and asking if that had thrush etc and eventually he tired of it and left me alone.

AIBU to now feel a bit offended by how he spoke to me? I felt like saying to him, yea I'll sort you out, now leave £20 on the nightstand.....

(namechange btw)

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 01/01/2011 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilythia · 01/01/2011 15:12

'that one makes my hymen grow back instantly'

Quote of the week.

but, t the point, he's a nobber.

conniedescending · 01/01/2011 15:17

I'm sure we don't have enough evidence to suggest he is a sex pest!

It was NYE and maybe he was just horny as hell and was fed up of all the excuses? Sounds like there's not been alot of sex in that house for ages.

JaneS · 01/01/2011 15:23

I've never heard thrush described as an excuse before ...

mosschops30 · 01/01/2011 15:26

oh my dh would be exactly the same (anyone remember when he rubbed it on my leg in the bathroom and said 'do you fancy a bit' Hmm

i 'sorted him out' last night, a quick wank was all he got though because I have a cold sore and I refuse to have sex with no kissing, i feel like a prostitute! Grin

lazarusinNazareth · 01/01/2011 15:46

I think- given his attitude- I would have had sex with him...let him get thrush and see if he thinks it's an excuse. Fuck it- get a sold sore then give him a blow job..make him suffer! Grin

SantosLHalper · 01/01/2011 16:26

Why are you with this man?

Bumperlicious · 01/01/2011 16:40

I'm sorry but if my dh was grabbing my hand so I could wank him off he'd get a knee in the balls and a kick out the door, never mind how he spoke to you.

veritythebrave · 01/01/2011 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nagoo · 01/01/2011 17:01

I think that you should have definitely been really blunt about his prospects rather than keep distracting from the subject.

'NO, I do not want to have any kind of sexual relations with you as my vagina is on fire, and it's rather diminished my desire' right from the get go, followed by 'FUCK OFF you selfish prick' probably would have worked, and you could have got on with your evening.

he'd probably sulk, but he's sulking anyway, right?

blueshoes · 01/01/2011 17:08

Don't understand what the issue is. Why couldn't you sort him out with your hand?

cowboylover · 01/01/2011 17:10

I hope it clears up soon as that is really nasty!

And on the partner front its rubbish that he can make you feel so bad for no being well. I agree with Nagoo just tell him to fuck off

twinklingfairy · 01/01/2011 17:17

I am Shock at your comment connie 'it wouldn't have killed you just to toss him off quickly though'
Is that what you would have done?
There is not a hope in hell that my DH would get what he wanted after that much whinging, thrush or no thrush!
As far as I am concerned, you have to both be in the mood or not bother.
I have sent my DH to the bathroom before and will probably do it again, again thrush or no thrush.
But my DH woudl have more sense and consideration to be bothering me if I had such a complaint.
And whether it 'Sounds like there's not been alot of sex in that house for ages.' makes no odds.
the woman has Thrush!
The man was WELL out of order!!Angry

ChinaCup · 01/01/2011 17:17

He's being a cock.

He could well have thrush without being aware of it and be the source of your recurrent probs. Don't agree to oral sex with him (especially after that comment) because you can get oral thrush that way and it is very fucking unpleasant (especially if you are in your mid twenties, visiting your parents the day the oral thrush emerges and your mother insists on coming in to the GP consultation with you Blush)

twinklingfairy · 01/01/2011 17:20

blueshoes I really don't get why anyone would do that under duress!
If you are not in the mood, how can it be in anyway pleasurable?
It would be degrading IMO
And how could a man be happy with himself after having that done to him by someone who clearly did not want to?

I am honestly Confused

BlueFergie · 01/01/2011 17:20

'Why couldn't you sort him out with your hand?'

because she didn't want to, and as far as I am concerned that is the beginning and end of it. I thought we had got past the stage where wives are expected to pleaseure their husbands irrespective of their feelings on teh subject? FFS are we back in the 50s?

AliBellandthe40jingles · 01/01/2011 17:23

Bleugh how disgusting he sounds.

Tbh that would put me of shagging someone forever, never mind just while I had thrush.

spidookly · 01/01/2011 17:25

Pmsl @ "is your fanny still itchy?" :o

deemented · 01/01/2011 17:29

Just discussed this with Manshape. He reckons you should have sex with him, just so he'll get thrush himself - and then he'll never pester you for it again....

I like his thinking, but i reckon your DP's a twat...

InstructionsToTheDouble · 01/01/2011 17:31

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twinklingfairy · 01/01/2011 17:36

Oh good, I was reading through and could not believe that connies statement had gone unnoticed!
Mind you, perhaps everyone else is more sensible than I, perhaps she is looking for a reaction, to come out with such nonsense?

blossom63 · 01/01/2011 17:37

Sorry - just caught this thread... " is your fanny still itching " ?!? And they say romance is dead !

KalokiMallow · 01/01/2011 17:37

"Don't understand what the issue is. Why couldn't you sort him out with your hand?"

Maybe I'm an old romantic, but I thought sex was meant to be mutually pleasurable, not a chore for one person. Hmm

mommmmyof2 · 01/01/2011 17:38

I agree when someone talks to you that way it makes you feel a bit like 'oh is that all i good for' I have no problem at all pleasuring my dh in any way but it is annoying when you do have thrush or time of the month ect and you are stil expected to sort them out.

I mean i no it is not their fault but when did it become ours.I have a dh and he is not a pest but he can say things sometimes that makes me want to scream at him.But it is hard to say it without me getting angry and starting a fight.

I love him being affectionate and grabbing me ect, it makes me feel wanted but we all have feelings and we are not performing animals at the zoo.

There is nothing wrong with him wanting a bit but there are ways to ask, i sometimes think if i can't have any then do something else for me like a back massage.
Men can be funny creatures lmao Grin

Original poster
EhFattyBumBum · 01/01/2011 17:48

Blue, that was my feeling tbh, that I had to do my duty or something.

Its still here (its like a old friend now, I can hear myself saying "me and Thrush are going for dinner tomorrow")

I do get coldsores very regular aswell so will keep that in mind.

Connie you are right there hasnt been alot of sex in this house recently. Its never normally an issue though, just sods law that my new friend is staying around (oh and the other time when he grabbed my tit which made me close up a tight like a cats bum)

OP posts: