"but that doesnt stop you sorting me out does it?"

[EhFattyBumBum]

In brief, mine and DPs sex life isnt the best. We have a nearly 2 y/o and having a tough time with his sleeping habits. We both also work f/t and are both often too tired to do anything, but when we do its great. No real complaints so far.

However, I have had thrush for about 3 - 4 days, very sore, very swollen, very itchy and just generally a bit miserable with it but hopefully its going away.

All last night DP is saying/hinting how I should have another drink and get pissed, and another, and "oooh the boy is tired maybe he will sleep for us tonight" to a generally less tactful "is your fanny still itching, maybe we can have an early night?".

I explain that not only am I still resisting the urge not to get a scouring pad, but he can catch it too and just pass it back to me if we did anything and sorry but I just dont think its the best idea.

He whinges that the one time for a little while that we get chance I have an excuse. I agree that yes it is shit that the one time we are BOTH awake I happen to have this.

Then, he says "well that doesnt stop you sorting me out does it?". I changed the subject, ignored him and he kept saying it.

We got to bed and more of the same, pawing me, grabbing hold of my hand and asking if that had thrush etc and eventually he tired of it and left me alone.

AIBU to now feel a bit offended by how he spoke to me? I felt like saying to him, yea I'll sort you out, now leave £20 on the nightstand.....

(namechange btw)

If he was a wanker, surely the OP wouldn't be complaining as much.

[fbear]

moondog - eh?????

What are you on about dear?

Keep taking the tablets.

Sane people generally accept that pressuring someone of either gender into a sex act they don't want to enact is abusive behaviour. Nothing to do with feminism. Just to do with simple human respect.

blueshoes 'But it was NY's eve, her dh has not had sex in a long time.'
How do you know how long it has been!?

OP said 'He whinges that the one time for a little while'
a little while

Regardless, the OP was not feeling great and did not want to, should she have done it anyway, for fear that her DH would look elsewhere?
Perhaps he should just have looked to himself and had a little consideration for her rather than for his own desires.

'grabbing hold of my hand and asking if that had thrush'
If this was the case with you, would you turn over and say 'oh, ok darling, poor you.'
I certainly wouldn't.

It is all very well and good to claim that you meant in general. Perhaps in general circs it wouldn't be that bad a thing to ask, if asked in a decent way, but the OP was not talking in general she was talking about a certain instance and in this instance your response was to say, and to continue to push the point, that yes she should have just given him a 'quick hand job'
Sorry but your logic here, and Connies, is askew.

What's a 'hatchet faced feminism endemic'?

And why are we joyless because we want to enjoy sex? Surely the joyless ones on this thread are those who think sex isn't for enjoyment but only for relieving someone?

Kaloki
'FWIW, my DH rolled his eyes at posts like yours, and said the OP's DH was out of line.'

It's not worth a lot to be honest, unless your dh's word is law in your house.

Perhaps OP could simply have obliged at the first request?

I note a distinct lack of humour and preciousness about sex quite amusing.

What boggles me is how so many men don't seem to understand that there is nothing more unerotic and offputting than someone pestering for sex when they have been told that their partner is not in the mood just now. It's fine to ask a partner (or indeed someone you have just started dating, in the right circumstances) for sex, but it's not fine to keep on and on when you have been refused. And trying to physically force a person to engage in sexual activity that they have already refused to engage in is never acceptable.

So funny watching you lot get yer knicks in a twist.

Could you be any more patronising?

Probably.

Righto blue so you have an infection that is making you feel like crap, your husband requests a hand job the minute you have put your 2 yr old to bed, discounting that fact that you are not well, and you say yes, immediately?

Are You Serious!!

Ridiculous!

This is just starting to annoy me now and I have never been so disgusted by someones attitude on MN before!

Yeah, true - have seen it.

Quite enjoying my being called fembot Stepford. From what I know about moondog, that is quite bizarre as well.

Some pretty wild extrapolations on here.

I think I will try it out for size.

I am more the practical sort, hth

I really am appalled by some of your attitudes. Connie and moondog, you make me feel a bit sad that in 2011 this is where we are. Feminism clearly has had no impact on either of you.

There is nothing 'practical' about being an unwilling wank aid for one's DH.

Perhaps there's something a bit tragic about it though.

And blueshoes.

Gosh, no none whatsoever.
That's why I'm sitting her on my arse as my dh dutifully hangs out 100s of grey socks and matches them up. This was of course after doing the dishes and putting the children to bed.

No doubt he shall soon be back, pressing his crotch into my face and suggesting lasciviously something along the following lines.....

'Redbudh or Earl grey my darling? I've already done your hotty and it's in the bed.'

He's an absolute monster.