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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not celebrate Christmas anymore

212 replies

MummieDeckTheHallsOutHunnie · 30/11/2010 17:49

For many reasons, I have not wanted to celebrate Christmas, including not sending cards to others! I am happy to put up the old tree for them and the children can decorate etc, I will cook the normal meal with all the trimmings, I bought them winter gifts and let them know that there will be nothing on Christmas day anymore as they know my feelings and have had them in the lead up, like new pj's, hats/gloves/scarfs/nice perfume/cosmetic sets that are available this time of year, and new party outfit etc...

OP posts:
Jumpty · 30/11/2010 17:50

YABU and they will hold it against you forever.

bigchris · 30/11/2010 17:51

Bah humbug
what's up with you ?

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 30/11/2010 17:51

eh? sounds like you ARE doing everything christmassy to me - they just get their presents through the winter not on one date - you have decorations and "christmas" dinner?

up to you - t o suddenly STOP celebrating if the kids are young and have always known it would be harsh IMO

taintedsnow · 30/11/2010 17:52

If you are asking whether or not YABU, you need to say why you've come to this decision.

On the surface though, YABU.

Btw, how old are the children?

NordicPrincess · 30/11/2010 17:54

theyl hate you for it, i would!!

FreudianFoxSquishedByAPouffe · 30/11/2010 17:54

Why don't you want to? I totally sympathise with hating Xmas, I used to but throwing myself into it for the kids has really made me fall in love with the whole thing :)

tomhardyismydh · 30/11/2010 17:54

why not celebrating and how old are your dcs?

Limez · 30/11/2010 17:55

So you ARE celebrating christmas - putting up a tree and diong a christmas dinner - you just dont want to send cards or give gifts to your kids?

Up to you, pity your kids though. They'll know tha all their friends are having a fab time at xmas but they're only allowed this semi-celebration dictated by mother.

YuleBeLucky · 30/11/2010 17:57

Why? Unless you have a good reason, you're a right old misog!

OracleInaCoracle · 30/11/2010 17:58

YABU

Limez · 30/11/2010 17:58

What would your children like to do?

Are they happy for christmas celebrations to be restricted to a tree and a meal? (I cant imagine its a very happy time in your household if you feel this strongly and they "know my feelings")

SeaTrek · 30/11/2010 17:58

If you are doing the dinner with the trimmings, putting a tree in the house and buying winter gifts then you are doing Christmas. The only strange thing you are doing is giving your winter gifts on a different day (which just seems quite controlling rather than anything else).

Original poster
MummieDeckTheHallsOutHunnie · 30/11/2010 17:59

The youngest is nearly 11, the oldest 12!

I have explained my reasons to them, I did loads of really lovely Christmas's when they were younger they have some lovely memories, they asked if they can do a tree I said ok if they want it they can do it, obviously they need me to do the various prongs on the tree as it is 5ft! I have no problems carrying on with the meal as it is a long day and nice to have all the trimmings once a year. I have no problems with a lot of the other traditions we normally do "palor (sp?) games" as referred to in the Royal Family... as we enjoy them and it is a long day etc

OP posts:
Jumpty · 30/11/2010 18:01

Shock check back here in 20 years for a thread on how you ruined their childhood and they'd never do the same to their own kids

Original poster
MummieDeckTheHallsOutHunnie · 30/11/2010 18:02

Jumpty, they understand why I don't want to do it anymore, not going full out on a day is not going to ruin their childhood!

OP posts:
MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 30/11/2010 18:03

Seems very odd. I was never a fan of Xmas, but now having children we have the chance to make our own traditions, so we have Christmassy fun but in our own way. SO no need to go for the whole szmaltzy fuss, or get stressed - surely not too onerous to have a few small pressies on Xmas day?

taintedsnow · 30/11/2010 18:04

I can't understand your perspective and I'm pretty sure the others can't either. You must have a specific reason for feeling this way, because you pretty much are doing Christmas, just not labelling it as such.

MissBubbles · 30/11/2010 18:05

i actually asked my kids opinon on this one, read out ur post exactly as you had wrote it, and just based on that they said yabu, im sorry i have to agree, my own father hates xmas, he only likes the lights, but in all my years of growing up he made an effort for the sake of me and my younger siblings

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 30/11/2010 18:05

On of our 'traditions' is to go swimming on Xmas Day - there is a heated open air pool near us, so that's what we always do - gets us out of the house, exercise, Xmas carols as we swim abut, then smoked salmon, bagels, mince pies afterwards - kids love it + have done it since they were babes - if we didn't do that would invent something else like it.

BerylStreep · 30/11/2010 18:06

I still don't really understand your reasons. Is it because you don't believe the 'Christian' aspect? Are you worn out by all the hype? What is the issue?

pozzled · 30/11/2010 18:06

So, why don't you want to do it?

I can certainly understand not sending Christmas cards, but if you're doing presents anyway why not do them on the day itself?

It makes no sense to me to 'do' Christmas in a half-hearted, we'll do the bits I like but not the other bits way.

Limez · 30/11/2010 18:07

Why is it all about you?

And it seems weird to be doing parts but stopping short of a 'normal' christmas.

Are the kids allowed to express excitement about the day?

glastocat · 30/11/2010 18:08

YABU, your kids will hate you for it. My mum never had Xas as a child ( her parents were JW) and she never forgave them for it. Don't be such a scrooge, you're doing most of it anyway.

MemooMerrilyOnHigh · 30/11/2010 18:09

This is going to be aibu by stealth.

The OP will wait till we've all said she is being unreasonable and then drop some bombshell about something awful that happened one Christmas

Bathsheba · 30/11/2010 18:09

What are your reasons - you have mentioned that your children know "your reasons" a couple of times but haven't told us what they are.

It might make a difference to people understanding why