to not celebrate Christmas anymore

[MummieDeckTheHallsOutHunnie]

For many reasons, I have not wanted to celebrate Christmas, including not sending cards to others! I am happy to put up the old tree for them and the children can decorate etc, I will cook the normal meal with all the trimmings, I bought them winter gifts and let them know that there will be nothing on Christmas day anymore as they know my feelings and have had them in the lead up, like new pj's, hats/gloves/scarfs/nice perfume/cosmetic sets that are available this time of year, and new party outfit etc...

[glastocat]

I mentioned my JW mum somewhere up the thread. Her parents never celebrated Xmas, and she hated it. I just asked her what it was she hated, she said it was the fact that it meant they were left out from all the celebrations. They couldn't participate in any carol singing, or have a special meal on the day, or even acknowledge the festival. In fact before my JW granny died she went out selling the Watchtower on Xmas morning. What mum hated most of all was going back to school and not being able to participate in the 'What did you get?' conversations. In fact, she said as she got older she used to lie and make up stuff that she had got.

So when she was a single parent bringing me up, I always got loads of parcels on Xmas day and it was always a special day, even when we didn't have much cash. Looking back a lot of it was stuff like gloves and bubble bath, but I didn't care. I bloody well would have cared if we hadn't celebrated Xmas like all my mates! In fact looking back my mum must have turned somersaults as I remember Xmas as a fantastic time with loads of friends and family, food, gifts and love, even though there were just the two of us.

[RockinRobinBird]

I think there is a big difference between what Kaloki said for instance, where they have no intention of ever celebrating Christmas, and doing it for years and then saying out of the blue, 'that's enough now, not going to bother with that anymore.' That isn't fair whereas I guess if you have never had it you're not missing anything.

[AnotherSingingMummy]

I would say that she is probably doing the best she can, we don't know the full circumstances, so it is hard to know. She obviously does not want to tell us the full story, and she has that right.

I think there have been some harsh posts from some people, and I wonder if that is their annoyance that she has not given them their feed!

Judging from those last posts, she sounds like she has chosen to look at the situation a bit differently.

[hopingforfour]

One last thing, i noticed several things...
you never mentioned a dh/dp. You said you used yo do a bigger xmas. You gave mostly necessities as gifts met with great excitement due to great need. Possible split/death, with not much money now? Many sympathies if this is the case.

[hopingforfour]

Like other people said, you could always do something non-Chrismassy if that is what you are looking for. Kids always love making paper snow flakes. Hang them from the windows. String lights up around the room instead of on a tree. You know, there is tons of other winter stuff you can do as an alternative. I know from experience. Also, Jews don't celebrate Christmas, as they have Hannakah, but they still have something to celebrate. Oh, we also have July4/Independance Day over here that is cause for celebration. There is nothing more fun than fire works! Oh but dear me!!! Now i really am getting off subject aren't I??


Guess what i was getting at with all of that was, it is important for children to have celebrations in general, so if not Christmas, maybe something else...?

[hopingforfour]

Ok, sorry I am entering this so late. Maybe too late. I was too busy today to read through everything. I have been very interested in all these opinions, because i don't celebrate xmas either. I am not a JW, by any stretch! But our family haas never celebrated xmas. Truthfully, i really didn't care or miss it as a child, because it was normal for us. We always had fun birthdays and a blowout Thanksgiving day. We also got gifts at Thanksgiving. When that's what you grow up with, it really isn't that big of a deal.

That being said, I think it sounds a bit strange to give your kids a half xmas. I don't blame you for wanting to get away from the commercial aspect if that's what it is, but hopfully you have some pretty good reasons not to celebrate. I know we do. :)

Now that i have my own family, we will be making our own traditions...a festive Thanksgiving, and a festive winter. Decorate the house with pine boughs and snowflakes. It doesn't have to be Crhristmassy...

[tomhardyismydh]

sorry for spelling mistakes

[tomhardyismydh]

this is what i get from you (unless some massive tradegy had taken place to taint your view, which im sure has not) that as a single parent with children nearing teanange years, christmas effort is required less and you feel guilty for the less effort required.

what is wrong with giving dds essentials for christmas Thats what i do and belive me my dd gets a bucket full. I dont buy clothes jammies or toys through out the year. I save, plan ahead and get it all for xmas and then march birthday. it makes it special as she has lots to open and also means i dont have to budget too much through out the year when i realy wont be able to afford it. the fact I never buy toys in beteween means I never have to listen to can I get/ can you buy me....put it on your christmas/ birthday list!!!

the fact you are dripp feeding is making it look like you are an attention seeker and in actual fact three is no issue at all other than you own need to justify all this.

my Mum put less effort into christmas as we grew older because we desired the things we actually needed rather than a load of junk to open on christmas day. we wanted vouchers, underwear, money controbutions to extersions, nights out, concerts etc that didnt always coinside with christmas. this is normal as children get older.

stop feeling sorry for your self

[BerylStreep]

I agree. The OP's initial posts suggested a hollow Christmas, just going through the motions, which sounds awful. I note the tone of her posts have now changed somewhat.

My Dad walked out on us when I was 11, and cleared the bank account at the same time. We were very very broke. I remember my Mum explaining that we didn't have the money for lots of pressies - we got one small token each. We didn't care. My Mum still made the effort to make it magical, and my memories are of having lots of fun as a family.

I would have been gutted if my Mum had been grudging about Christmas. It must have been very difficult for her - her husband had left her with 5 DC and no money only months before, but still made Christmas special for us.

[Limez]

But that's the point Kaloki - op says she is doing those things but making sure her kids know that she doesn't want to celebrate christmas anymore, so yes, they'll get christmas dinner, a tree etc so what's missing? What point is she trying to make to them in them not having gifts to open on the day? And in letting them know that she doesn't like or want christmas?

[Kaloki]

Punishing them by making them a nice dinner, giving them presents (albeit not on Dec 25th), and playing games with them? Poor poor kids.

[BerylStreep]

Rocklover, Dittany,
Spot on posts.

[Rocklover]

Just read this post and I am not going to answer the OP as to whether she IBU or not, because I don't think that's what the post was for.

All the weird, confusing drip feeding of information and the odd way repiles are written makes me think this thread is all about the OP getting attention. She wants us all to object and say how mean she is etc, for what reason I have no idea.

I hope this has provided you with some entertainment tonight Mummie and good luck with whatever you do for Christmas, but really there was no point to starting this thread. Do you really care what people in RL think of your scaled down Christmas? I doubt it.

Just do what you want to do and leave it at that.

[Kaloki]

"If you want a good relationship with your DCs when they are adults you need lovely joint memories where they know that you bothered."

And Christmas is the only time they can do this??

Fwiw, me and DH have long decided that we will never celebrate Christmas, even when we do have children. Good to know that this will somehow ruin their lives.

[jugglingjo]

I feel live each day, including Christmas Day, in the way you feel will bring most happiness to you and yours, and to others.

I can understand someone rejecting the whole Christmas package, as sometimes it might not feel that you can choose which bits to keep, or to have a totally different sort of day, such as the family who spend the day at the swimming pool.

One year my DH and I spent Christmas in northern Japan, and we spent the day skiing.
We had a little Christmas tree that my DH had bought and decorated as a surprise for me in our flat. We probably had a couple of pressies to open. Other than that the day had quite a different feel than usual !

But quite Christmassy and Winter Wonderland with all that snow !

I'd just say I was having a quieter Christmas, or doing something different this year !
Seems people get upset if you say you're not celebrating it without good reason.
Plenty of people not sending cards these days though. One of our good friends says he's giving a gift to charity instead.
Some people send e cards or a message to everyone on their e list ( I don't have a list yet, but we might do this this year )

Hope you and the children have a Happy Day !

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

This is weirdest, most attention seeking thread I've read for ages.

OP is loving being all cryptic and everyone trying to work out what she really means.

[Bathsheba]

Oh oh oh - I think I've got it...!


Its WRAPPING STUFF UP....thats the palaver...

If you give them things as you buy them and they need them (new jammies etc) you don't have to wrap them up, you just buy them and hand them over...

If you keep things for Christmas Day you have to wrap them up....

Is that it...essentailly you can be bothered with everything else around Christmas, including a MN name change (and I love Christmas and can't be pfaffed with that...) but you just can't be arsed wrapping stuff up...

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

Of course it's posted for a reaction, the womans an attention seeker

[Gooftroop]

I think what you're doing sounds great MummieDeck and if you're happy and the children are happy then what's not to like? Do what suits you and your family.

And have a merry .... winter .... festive thingy!!

[Limez]

Jumpty - rather than the crossed-off things being church and a walk I am left with the impression that it's the excitement/anticipation side of things. The bits that make it all a bit magical for kids.

Its like op is saying yes, we'll do some aspects of xmas but dont get your hopes up.

Or, as AC says - it's all a load of attention-seeking balls!

[piscesmoon]

If you want a good relationship with your DCs when they are adults you need lovely joint memories where they know that you bothered.

[piscesmoon]

My DSs are older and there isn't the magic, but it is still a special day and they would be terribly upset if I couldn't be bothered. It is a day where we all make an effort, spend time together and enjoy each other's company.