to not celebrate Christmas anymore

[MummieDeckTheHallsOutHunnie]

For many reasons, I have not wanted to celebrate Christmas, including not sending cards to others! I am happy to put up the old tree for them and the children can decorate etc, I will cook the normal meal with all the trimmings, I bought them winter gifts and let them know that there will be nothing on Christmas day anymore as they know my feelings and have had them in the lead up, like new pj's, hats/gloves/scarfs/nice perfume/cosmetic sets that are available this time of year, and new party outfit etc...

[puffs]

Mumcentreplus, I am offended by your belittling of the mentally ill

oooh crap...

I'm not a huge Christmas fan. For me. But, I get such huge joy (and I know that sounds twee, but it's true) from seeing my DC so excited and happy and seeing them have such a wonderful time, that it makes all the hard work and effort worth it.

It shouldn't be about you, but it is.

Do you think maybe this is what happened to the OP when she was growing up and she wants to show this thread to her Mum? [clutching at straws]

none taken, mumcentreplus.

Hope your DDs manage OK OP.

oh mumcentre I was joking! posted and then forgot about you

I'm genuinely confused why not having a massive christmas celebration will scar any children?

OP doesn't plan to stop the celebrations altogether. Sounds like they will get a nice relaxed family day, which will somehow be ruined by a lack of gifts and cards? Really?

I had not thought that it could be considered a "quiet Christmas", had not looked at it that way, thanks x

Yes, of course it will be a fun day, just because someone else's Mum made it miserable for them, it does not mean that I plan on making it a miserable day! I don't want all the pressure on the children or myself!

I used to do that before, the holding on to gloves type things until Christmas day before, and the kids had to wait, when they really need the things before. It was lovely to see DD's face when I gave her a new pair of PJ's, she had such a happy delighted face, she was so happy to have them, she had come down to tell me she had not got a decent pair of Pj's to wear to a friends sleepover as the better pairs were in the wash, so I gave her the new pair I had been holding on it, I am sure they meant more to her then than they would on Christmas day! There have been many things lately they have had and appreciated so very much, they have jumped up and down in delight as they needed them!

I'm well aware I appear to be the sole dissenting voice, but Mummie sounds like you make things special for them without needing a "special day" to do so.

bluddy hell!

Do people really give their DC gloves and PJ's for Christmas? Aren't they just things you buy them as a parent anyway, so not presents at all?

midori I can absolutely guarantee that at the age of 26 my presents will include (same as every year that I can remember) gloves and pyjamas.

I used to give them a new pair of PJ's the night before Christmas so they had a new good pair for Christmas morning, and I always was the sort of parent that had a huge great big sack of gifts for them, so yes anything that was needed for Winter was wrapped up to make the pile bigger including a new set of hat/scarf/gloves/toiletries etc...

Mummie - of course they are Ok with it now - it's November. They may seem ok with it on Christmas Day - however, if you keep this weirdness up and expect children to understand you when we don't - don't be suprised if they are posting here in 15 years time!

Thus implying Kaloki, that the rest of us treat our children like dirt on every day except Christmas. What a weird comment.

mummie, i don't understand your dilemma, as far as you don't insist they are miserable on the day, you are doing christmas.
i come from a different culture and there is no presents on the day, just a very big meal and a few games on the afternoon, with the tree up, exactly what you are doing, and my mum considers it an ott christmas. they don't do cards over there either. it is about being together as a family, that's all.

If you don't want to do Christmas why don't you send them to their Grandparents for the day? You could have a lovely day off.
Or have an anti christmas with beach wear and a bbq!
Go on holiday somewhere hot.
It sounds as though you are going to "do christmas" but in a bit of a heart not in it way.
You clearly have your reasons for this and although I'd love to know them, I'm sure you have your reasons for not wanting to say.
If your hearts not in it and your children feel the same then maybe it's best to avoid it altogether, but if they really want to celebrate then maybe a relative could get the joy of helping them?

I don't insist on the children being miserable any day, I think this perception of mysery has been something from other posters who have had miserable Christmas's, I don't want all the pressure on them and on me from all the palava!

what palava? you have a tree, and a meal, and a lovely day.

Is it that you've given away all their Christmas presents already and you're thinking that not buying more means you've cancelled Christmas?

Your other issues are still a mystery of course, and unless you're willing to spill, you're still going to get a bit of crap for it.

Still think YABU at the moment....

I don't get what pressures are involved with Christmas? ( I also think it's odd that you'd make DC wait until Christmas Day for things they needed before that, such as gloves etc just to make their pile of presents look bigger. Prsents are meant to be treats, not essentials)

Your DC might be saying it's OK, but they already asked if they could do the tree, how do you know they aren't afraid to ask for anything else? They may understand your reasons, but that doesn't mean they're completely happy with the changes.

Good post hobnobs

How do I know they are saying it is "OK" and it is not something they would say, the answer it because they are very vocal if they are not happy about things, they don't hold back!