to not celebrate Christmas anymore

[MummieDeckTheHallsOutHunnie]

For many reasons, I have not wanted to celebrate Christmas, including not sending cards to others! I am happy to put up the old tree for them and the children can decorate etc, I will cook the normal meal with all the trimmings, I bought them winter gifts and let them know that there will be nothing on Christmas day anymore as they know my feelings and have had them in the lead up, like new pj's, hats/gloves/scarfs/nice perfume/cosmetic sets that are available this time of year, and new party outfit etc...

stealth at play here

Dear OP, what did Christmas mean for you in the past.

They are 11 & 12 - they shouldn't have to understand why you don't want to 'do Christmas' - you should do it for them and you should want to make it good for them - no matter what it is that is making you bah humbug.

I used to LOVE Christmas.

This year I do not want to do Christmas - if I had my way it would simply vanish this year and probably forever tbh... it's hard and I don't want to do it.

However, I am doing it - for other people, because it makes them happy and my issues aren't their problem - especially the children!!

4 years ago my nan died suddenly on 19/12. That christmas was horrible and I never really felt I could celebrate it any more. It brings up too many sad memories.

But I do mainly for my dd and family even though it still hurts. Plus I know she would slap me around the face for being a humbug!!

Waiting for stealthy revelations answers...

I especially want to know whether the children have had 'proper' Christmases before. They are certainly old enough to know what they're missing and I feel sorry for them.

YABU.

Judging from the posts on here, I get the feeling now matter what my reasons would be that there would be a whole load of sarcastic responses or examples of this that the other to prove whatever, it was interesting to hear others take on it...

Blackdog, thanks for your post, I actually typed out an answer to you, I have since deleted it, it was usefull to do...

It doesn't matter what your reasons are. They are you reasons. Your kids shouldn't suffer because of your issues. They didn't ask for the problems.

Why do you feel sorry for the children DearPudance, what are they missing out on exactly? presents at a specific time?

What problems are they having exactly sparkle? please go into detail, as to what the actual problem is? can you put your finger on it?

OP, you have asked if you were unreasonable not to celebrate Christmas (when in fact it seems you do). Why introduce a secretive element if not to provoke questions?

If it is that private then don't pose questions on a public forum that you don't want answered.

God you have a weird attitude don't you! AIBU to do something really unreasonable, but I won't tell you why in case you criticize me, but don't you dare tell me I'm being U or I will get really defensive and secretive. You weirdo. Yes, YABU and very strange

OK Mummie - you're obviously feeling a bit raw and maybe AIBU isn't the right place for this. Maybe some posters have been a little sharp because that's what AIBU is about, but I think the generally feeling still is that it would be pertinent to understand your reasoning, and there are a number of people who seem to be genuinely concerned for your DDs.

The problems you have with the day that you are putting on them. It's one day. Surely you are skipping the concern something may go wrong and lead to unhappiness and just jumping to the end.m God, I have loads of rubbish in my past, but its MY past, no one else's.

Turning that around, why the big deal for you to save the presents until the 25th? What do you gain by doing it your way

Cat, both ways?

I was interested in others opinions, and why they felt that way, as I wonder what people in rl will think, so I suppose I am asking on here as a cushioning really for real life people's opinions and what their take on it will be!

I am happy that I have good reasons that I am happy to live with and have communicated them to the Children, who understand as they feel similar, they asked for certain things, the tree etc. I don't mind doing the dinner and normal games/traditions during the day, they were the main things they were worried about, and they have loved having their gifts early so far, they have needed quite a few of them earlier than on Christmas day, so as and when they have needed them I have given them to them and they have been delighted and pleased with the gifts.

By 'problems' I think sparkle meant whatever problems you have doing 'Christmas'.
You are acting like you wanted to pick a fight. You asked the question, people answered and now you are tearing them to shreds. Does the fact everyone has agreed not tell you something?

so you asked AIBU only prepared to hear you aren't when in fact it doesn't matter and the only people who it affects have told you they're happy with it???

Do you believe them, or were they saying what you wanted to hear?

Sure they are delighted and pleased with their gifts. My DC would love to get their presents now, but they'd still be disappointed if there wasn't anything to open on Christmas Day.

It just sounds like you don't want to label Christmas as Christmas. Which makes your POV even less understandable.

You won't get the truth from people in RL, they will probably look at you weird, but won't say much to your face. Be certain they will discuss you like this when they get home though.

Sorry, it's the truth. I find your posts quite bizarre.

Bah fucking humbug. If you want your children to be completely left out of the pre and post Christmas chatter then you are being very, very mean spirited!

Why on earth can't you make an effort for your children!?? Send them round to me, they can have stockings and tree presents and a huge lunch. They can play with my children and the bonkers dog who'll get a bracing afternoon walk with all dh's bonkers family!

Lighten up and don't alienate your children from some great fun.

OP - it's rare to see a thread this unanimous - surely some alarm bells are ringing.