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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not replace something that i havent seen

490 replies

Ray81 · 15/11/2010 09:26

We went on holiday back in August and my sister who is 18 looked after my house.
She had a party which she didnt ask to have and evidently one of her friends left a Ipod docking station here.

She asked me for it last week and i told her there was nothing like that in my house (although didnt know what i was looking for tbh). Now i had a real blitz when i got back from hols and was alittle worried i had thrown it out by mistake, i do tend to just go into auto pilot when clearing out. I said to her perhaps i had and thinking it would be £20 or so that i would replace it. I only said that because i couldnt be sure i hadnt thrown it away ifswim. Well she has come back to me saying it is £350 and showing me what it looked like. I havent seen it and have looked ALL over my house.

I havent got that amount of money and i dont think i should replace something that for one i honestly cannot remember seeing and 2 that wasnt my responsibility in the first place.

So AIBU to say NO i am not replacing it. surely if something is that expensive you shouldnt even take it out of your own home and be that careless with it. Whats to say he hasnt left it somewhere else and my house was the last time he could remember seeing it.

OP posts:
Ormirian · 15/11/2010 09:29

No you aren't.

thenightsky · 15/11/2010 09:29

Don't replace it. I think she has made a mistake and has actually left it somewhere else. She should be more careful with her stuff.

She can always put an insurance claim in if it has been stolen from the party or something.

I don't see how it's your responsibility to replace it at all.

nobiggy · 15/11/2010 09:29

YANBU at all! How could this possibly be your responsibility?

Saltire · 15/11/2010 09:30

Why is only now asking for it back, we're halfway through November?

Scaltini · 15/11/2010 09:30

YANBU!!

What a cheek to ask you to pay up £350 for something that was supposedly left there at a party that you had not agreed to!!

sixpercenttruejedi · 15/11/2010 09:30

YANBU, 'nuff said.

StealthPomBear · 15/11/2010 09:30

no yanbu! She didn't even ask to have the party - any stuff brought into your house, uninvited, while you were away is not your responsibility at all!

LittleMissHissyFit · 15/11/2010 09:30

No, if you are adamant you have not seen it, then you probably haven't.

Tell your sister that her friend needs to claim on his insurance for it.

Say NO, YANBU

FakePlasticTrees · 15/11/2010 09:34

YANBU - it shouldn't have been in your house in the first place, so it's your sisters fault for having a party she's didn't have permission for (I'd have been angry at that), the friend's fault for leaving it, and definately the friend's fault for not asking for it back for 3 months. How can you accidentally leave something costing £350 behind and not think to ask for it back for 3 months?

Not your problem. You haven't thrown it out, you haven't seen it, you don't know for certain it was ever in your house. (I bet someone else who was at the party stole it)

Jux · 15/11/2010 09:36

Well, if it was that expensive then the friend shouldn't really have brought it over in the first place, and should have taken better care of it in the second. I think you should say that you never found it, and you are not going to spend that much just because the friend is careless with their things. If you really want to, you could buy a cheap or second hand one, but I reckon it's either a try-on by the friend or another friend took it.

Vallhala · 15/11/2010 09:37

YANBU. No way should you be fooled guilt tripped into paying for the replacement of something you have never seen, supposedly lost at a party in your house, for which you didn't give permission, by a total stranger who was in your home despite never having been invited there by you.

I think the term you're looking for is, "In your dreams, matey!"

Tidey · 15/11/2010 09:41

Taking the piss royally. Tell her that you have no idea what she's talking about, you haven't seen it and to ask all of their mutual friends which one of them wants to replace it, since one of them probably took it.

verytellytubby · 15/11/2010 09:43

Outrageous. Don't replace. It's not your problem.

PrivetDancer · 15/11/2010 09:43

No way. Even in autopilot mode I can't imagine you would throw away a set of speakers (probably plugged into the wall etc)
They're having a laugh.

LoopyLoops · 15/11/2010 09:44

Of course YANBU. It would be completely ridiculous to replace it. Silly girl shouldn't have taken / lost an expensive piece of equipment. Not your problem.

shongololo · 15/11/2010 09:46

ray81. I was a that party. I lost a pair of diamond earrings and a tiara. THey are worth £20k. I'll accept paypal or bankers draft. Grin

seriously, it is nothing to do with you. AFter 3 months they are trying it on.

taintedpaint · 15/11/2010 09:48

Bloody hell. I can't believe you even thought about replacing something under those circumstances. YANBU at all.

NordicPrincess · 15/11/2010 09:49

thats absolutly rediculous, you should not replace it. They are not children, if they are not responcible enough to look after something so valuable then they shouldnt have taken it to a party. I would imagine its a lie, dont be taken in

Bloodymary · 15/11/2010 09:54

Do not even think about replacing it.
Its not your responsibility.
The person in question came into your house uninvited, and has just remembered a piece of equipment worth £350 3 months later!!!

HappySeven · 15/11/2010 11:53

YANBU. They're insane or trying it on.

Heracles · 15/11/2010 12:21

Heh, no chance. I doubt you would have chucked it, it's fairly obviously an electrical thing.

Original poster
Ray81 · 15/11/2010 12:23

Apparently my sister is adamant that she left it here Hmm and that it was left on the computer desk which is in my front room, I WOULD HAVE SEEN IT. She evidently kept asking my mum to pick it up every week but my mum kept forgetting Hmm, my mums has to walk past the computer desk to get into my kitchen SHE WOULD HAVE SEEN IT. Also there was meant to be a bottle of wine with it DIDNT SEE THAT EITHER, i would have drunk it.

I was very angry about the party tbh and told her she should have asked me, what if i had left money lying around or something.

Whilst she was staying here she was looking after DHs birds(green finches etc) and whilst we were away some died infact £650 worth, i dont think it was her fault but DH thinks it was coz she didnt feed them properly, we have agreed to disagree on that one but it seems my family think he may have done something to this Ipod thing because he was pissed off.
I am so pissed off they think that hes an adult not a child and knowing how bad our money situation is at the moment cant beleive they are expecting me to replace it.
There is going to be a big falling out around the corner i think.

They make me feel guilty about so much and always take advantage of me and i am getting so fed up with it.

OP posts:
ChaoticChristmasAngelCrackers · 15/11/2010 12:37

YANBU

Stop feeling guilty, the loss is their problem not yours.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/11/2010 12:37

Ray, your DS sounds horrible. Of course it isn't your responsibility. Tell her to fuck off.
Shongololo, it was my tiara and you stole it you cheeky madam Wink

TrillianAstra · 15/11/2010 12:39

Assuming it's not an ipod docking station in the shape of an old juice carton, why on earth would you have thrown it away?

She is essentially accusing you of stealing it and selling it on ebay or keeping it but hidden.

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