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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not replace something that i havent seen

490 replies

Ray81 · 15/11/2010 09:26

We went on holiday back in August and my sister who is 18 looked after my house.
She had a party which she didnt ask to have and evidently one of her friends left a Ipod docking station here.

She asked me for it last week and i told her there was nothing like that in my house (although didnt know what i was looking for tbh). Now i had a real blitz when i got back from hols and was alittle worried i had thrown it out by mistake, i do tend to just go into auto pilot when clearing out. I said to her perhaps i had and thinking it would be £20 or so that i would replace it. I only said that because i couldnt be sure i hadnt thrown it away ifswim. Well she has come back to me saying it is £350 and showing me what it looked like. I havent seen it and have looked ALL over my house.

I havent got that amount of money and i dont think i should replace something that for one i honestly cannot remember seeing and 2 that wasnt my responsibility in the first place.

So AIBU to say NO i am not replacing it. surely if something is that expensive you shouldnt even take it out of your own home and be that careless with it. Whats to say he hasnt left it somewhere else and my house was the last time he could remember seeing it.

OP posts:
Bloodymary · 15/11/2010 12:40

Erm, whats with the bottle of wine?
Is the person in question asking for that back as well?

thenightsky · 15/11/2010 12:41

Oh tell her to just fuck right off... cheeky bugger.

Am angry on your behalf!

thenightsky · 15/11/2010 12:42

Whether it exists or not is nothing to do with you. It's an insurance claim, pure and simple.

mumeeee · 15/11/2010 12:42

YANBU. Don't replace it. You were very brave to leave an 18 year old to look after youy house though.

Eve · 15/11/2010 12:48

ask for make/ model etc etc to help you look for it.

might find its not worth quite so much

Original poster
Ray81 · 15/11/2010 12:56

I was being brave but she looked after it last yr and had no probs at all so was very Shock that she had a party.

I cant imagine i would have thrown it away tbh because after being shown what it looked like and seeing one this weekend at my aunts house it is very bulky and heavy. I would have noticed it and known that it wasnt mine.

They just seem adamant that it is here i dont know what they think i have done with it. perhaps they think i have stolen it and sold it on ebay? they keep (by they i mean my other 2 sisters) asking me if DH has done something with i keep telling them NO he hasnt seen it either.

The more i think about the more i feel angry because they are making me feel bad over something that was nothing to do with me in the first place.

the bottle of wine was mentioned to jog my memory evidently

OP posts:
kelly2525 · 15/11/2010 12:59

If your sister is a little naive I would try and put the wind up her, tell her you are going to the police to report the theft as you have just realised something of yours is missing too, ie an expensive piece of jewellery.

Tell her you need the names of everyone at that party so the police can interview them and you also need the friend who had the docking station stolen to make a statement too.

Im sure once she talks to the friend, it suddenly wont matter or the docking station will be found

jumpingbeans · 15/11/2010 13:00

Oh by the way I was there that night, and I left behind me tiara, can you send me a cheque please :o

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/11/2010 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Niecie · 15/11/2010 13:09

Tell her you'll replace the docking station if she replaces the birds! I suspect she might not be so keen to follow up on it then.

Of course YANBU. Don't give her a bean. You couldn't have missed it so it just wasn't there.

My money is on somebody else having walked off with it. Could it be your sister? Ask her - let her know how it feels to be accused.

TBH I can't see how you can get away from this without some falling out even if you all you do is stand your ground and don't say anything at all.Sad

thenightsky · 15/11/2010 13:14

OOh.. yes... do what kelly2525 says and see what reaction you get Grin

c0rns1lk · 15/11/2010 13:18

So she threw a party at your house, invited her mates round, didn't look after the birds and some died Sad and is accusing your dh of stealing? Cheeky bitch.

Akkad · 15/11/2010 13:23

YANBU, definitely don't replace it, if they were too drunk to remember to take their £350 speakers it's their fault.
About time her friend took some responsibility for her belongings.

Of course, if you want to replace it, that's your own choice - but I wouldn't.

Akkad · 15/11/2010 13:25

That sounds excellent :o.
'I've just noticed some of my jewellery is missing, DSis, I'm going to need all the names of the people at the party for the report to the police - I'm wondering if they might have taken the docking station too?'
Wink

SkyBluePearl · 15/11/2010 13:31

Don't pay up what ever you do. Are you being taken for a ride? You haven't seen it and so he must have left it somewhere else.

nobiggy · 15/11/2010 13:32

Kelly2525 is right, you'd need a crime number for the insurer in any case, wouldn't you?

I'm agog actually, that with the party, and the birds, that the rest of your family isn't right behind you and berating your sister for letting you down!

Bloodymary · 15/11/2010 13:43

I agree with Kelly2525 as well.
Her reaction will be very interesting!

Original poster
Ray81 · 15/11/2010 13:47

Nope they are all sticking up for her and saying why would she lie.
im wondering why they think i would bloody lie, i dont have an ipod so have no need to keep it for myself.

I am very tempted by your suggestion of the theft of something of mine. something to think about.

I dont know if she has taken it with her and just forgotten where she put it, ot left it somewhere, or someone took it. I am just fed up with this all falling on my shoulders and them trying to make me feel bad and blaming DH for this too, yes he was pissed off who wouldnt be, doesnt mean he starts selling things, trashing or hiding them ffs.

I just dont think this is my responsibility, the friend should have been looking after their own bloody stuff, and if they lent it to my sister then they are a twat for lending something worth that money to her.

I think this will turn into a falling out its inevitable, but i hate arguments and am such a non confrontational person. I just need to tell them to piss off but i find it so hard to do that.

OP posts:
kenobi · 15/11/2010 13:53

I was also there that night, parked my Lamborghini Diabolo in your drive (without asking permission and so that you could not get your car out) and it got stolen as I didn't lock it. I would like £500,000 please.
And a tiara please, as everyone seems to be asking for one.

I would suggest that this is sleight of hand to distract from the fact that your DS killed your DH's birds. If she keeps asking for the docking system back I suggest that you will be happy to do it, as long as they replace the birds she killed. if she says that that's proof that your DH meddled with the docking system, just say that's the only way you can point out how unreasonable she is being.

On a legal note, if she invited people into your house without your permission, I think that's close to illegal occupation. She has no right to invite strangers into your house and expect you to ensure the safety of whatever items she has in there.
If she is sure that the person brought it to your house, I suggest that one of her friends half-inched it from the party. Is she SURE it was there when she left? If so, why didn't she pick it up herself?

FindingMyMojo · 15/11/2010 14:01

firstly you would not have thrown it out while cleaning (no matter how frenzied the cleaning), 2ndly they probably used the docking station for playing the music for the party (so it was probably there all night), 3rdly ARE THEY HAVING A LAUGH?????

See your inbox for my PM with my address details to send my tiara too - I left it at my friends neighbours house 3 months ago, now bloody replace it! thanks.

(your sis & her friends are being VVV U in hassling you like this!)

Original poster
Ray81 · 15/11/2010 14:03

Kenobi - she is telling everyone that she is sure it was there when she left the house and she just forgot to take it. Apparently she asked my mum to take her back to get it that day Hmm but my mum wouldnt and neither would my other sisters.
Even though she was meant to be here to feed the birds in the evening, she hadnt feed them for about 3 days as their food was all mouldy.

My mum and dad dont beleive the birds died because of her and i think that is why they are sticking up for her and i am realy pissed off because if she had a party at my dads house when they were away without asking he would have gone NUTS but no its fine for them to walk all over me and not batter an eyelid.

TBH this is just a long line of things. they went out for dinner on fri ALL of them sisters and mum and dad and never invited me. Posted all over FB that they had had a lovely family dinner.

I am getting very upset by the way they are treating me its awful.

OP posts:
saffy85 · 15/11/2010 14:13

Let me get this straight: Someone brings a £350 Ipod docking station to some strangers' house? And leaves it behind????? If they can afford to do that, they can afford to lose it forever imo. I'm not buying this story personally.

YANBU, do not give your sister or her mate a penny. Tell them this a a valuable lesson. Firstly, about throwing parties in other people's houses without permission. And secondly for being a total doofus and leaving their valuable possessions lying around to get nicked/go missing.

samcrow · 15/11/2010 14:22

All sounds a bit bizarre - agree with saffy, no one in their right mind would take a £350 docking station to a party.

Awful family situation though, I hope you can get something sorted out.

diddl · 15/11/2010 14:33

Sod the Ipod whatever, some birds diedSad

MumNWLondon · 15/11/2010 14:34

I wouldn't lie about missing something, but I would tell your sister that you haven't seen it, so if she insists there are four possibilities:

a it didn't actually get left behind
b someone else at the party took it
c you found it and you are lying
d its in the house but you haven't found it yet

Its very odd she waited for so long to say it was lost.

You would be mad to ever consist paying up...I am guessing that B above is the most likely explanation, and that it just isn't your problem. If it got left you'd have seen it.