On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

On the plus side, weight is stable and I'm on Day 22 of Random Dry May and not craving all the wine I've been gifted (too tired from crappy stress-induced insomnia).

Good morning, I’ve decided to join this thread. I’ve now been alcohol free for 38 days. I started prior to a total knee replacement which I had last week. I’m tracking not drinking on the drink free days app.
Prior to the surgery I used to drink regularly - mainly wine and some gin - for years. I was concerned about my health anyway and was concerned that I wouldn’t heal well after the operation if I was drinking. I also thought that opiates for pain relief and alcohol wouldn’t be a good combination. I’ve been on Mounjaro for about eighteen months, but it hasn’t reduced my drinking - although I know it has for others.
I have a long history of periods of cutting down and periods of abstinence. Not convinced that I can manage moderation,
so I’m staying off alcohol for now until I’m well on tho r road to healing. The trouble is I do love wine (as I know will be the case for many of you) and I do like the mellow calming effect of having a drink.
I’ve been drinking alcohol free gin and fever tree tonic. Not found a af wine that’s dry enough yet
Benefits since stopping drinking that I was starting to see before the op was sleeping better. Now back to regular waking for pain relief and icing of the knee. I’m also no longer having cravings or any night sweats or indigestion or loose stools.

@letshavetea well done and for all the right reasons!

I was just about to be 2 weeks but we raised a glass to FiL last night, on the first birthday since he died late last year. I am counting it as breaking my streak, but I'm not bothered - it was a one-off and I'm good to go again.

Ironically I really fancied a drink during the day (we went across to the social club to enjoy the AC and get a choc ice) but managed to abstain. I told myself I didn't want that beer more than I wanted to keep being sober. Like I say the whisky definitely counts but also meh, not really going to angst about it

125 days sober for me today. I have posted here before - recap- I sort of had no choice but to stop drinking my husband tipped into truly terrible alcoholism last year ended up in detox and rehab this year. He had to come home to a dry house. I was definitely drinking far too much wine every day. But I do miss it. I must be terribly addicted really because I feel that I can’t see the point in certain things if I can’t drink. Example last night we went out for a meal in a place i usually love but none of the food appealed to me because i wasn’t going to have wine with it.
im frightened if i do have even one drink ill quickly return to daily drinking.So I am
carrying on and trying to see the benefits: sleep better, remember things like tv shows, more money, but no weight loss! I’m crazy for chocolate and I’m just indulging myself.
when do things get better?

Hello everyone, and welcome to @letshavetea . Your reasons for cutting back/out alcohol are great, and very similar to many on here.

@BezMills you sound like you're in a good place right now too? Well done for raising a glass and not feeling guilty afterwards. Sounds like you've really cracked the moderation thing at the moment?

@notanotherroast 125 days is superb! And 25 days longer than I've ever done. Do you journal or log your moods/symptoms/cravings anywhere? Sounds like you're doing well to try and focus on the positives like better sleep and memory. Perhaps the poor sleep is due to other factors (like stress- you must be going through a lot of that supporting your DH right now?) or hormones or a deficiency? (Iron and magnesium deficiencies can impact on sleep).

I'm doing well. Sober May has been surprisingly easy so far. I did crave an ice cold glass of pink chicken wine on Saturday evening after a really happy few hours out, AND I have a little can of it in the fridge...but I just looked at it, took a moment to breathe deeply and remember the cravings subside after a while (anywhere from 5 mins to 1hr for me) and popped the kettle on. I know that years of doing Dry Jan, Sober October etc have taught me I can do it. And I'm getting more stubborn in my dotage! Really feel like I've turned a corner as 2 x BH weekends, work stress, birthday weekend, lunch with alcoholic family, heat wave, funeral and wake tomorrow (DH grandparent) and Sat was the first time I really craved a drink. Finally feel like I can take it or leave it more often than not...and that's something I'm feeling really happy about 😃

Thanks @ForeverTipsy but I definitely don't have moderation cracked. I think I might have sobriety with the very occasional joker, but even then I realise that's playing with fire! I think the gift of the last 8 months, where I've drifted back into more drinking, is to really see that I'm not there yet and maybe realistically might never be.

I'm sticking to sober sober, it's just easier!

Thanks @ForeverTipsy and @BezMills
Day 41 for me today. I definitely don’t have moderation cracked, and have been trying to do so for so many years. I always think if I could just drink really nice wines when out (and not too much of it) that would be great. Trouble is (like many of you) I quickly slip back into daily drinking and/or binge drinking.
I’m not too bothered what it is at that stage - so it becomes what’s on offer at the supermarket. Still having the nicer stuff as well. This time I’m going to have to make a decision whether to stay sober or try (yet again) to moderate.

@letshavetea yes that sounds quite familiar to me! I've had a bit of a wobbly time the last 6 months. Well quite honestly most of the last year has been a mission for different reasons. But I'm enjoying my quiet life at the moment and it's treating me well.

I was at a fitness class yesterday and the instructor who is a good friend said I looked flighty and a bit off. I've been wobbly for so long I think I'm not even sure what normal is sometimes! I was just over tired and a little bit under the weather I think. I know I'm not mentally 100% at the moment, even if I feel like I'm on the up and up, but then I'm staying in my lane and just not trying to do anything except the compulsory things I have to do and as much self-care and self-kindness as I can.

Soooo - I had been using the reframe app and gradually reducing my intake. All going well and down to 5 dry days a week and usually no more than 2 drinks on "at home" evenings.

But then my phone broke and the stand in is a brick and the app doesn't work. That combined with BH holiday with guests was DISASTROUS. I don't know if it's an age thing (late 40s, F) but I honestly felt a bit poisoned a couple of days - sick, upset tummy, heart burn, terrible sleep... I said to DH on Monday evening that the side effects meant the indulgence just wasn't worth it but, by old standards I didn't even have that much. Maybe 5 glasses of wine on Monday which a year ago I could have knocked back without even noticing that much of an impact.

Has anyone else had this as they've slid towards later middle age?!

@harriethoyle yes. My new sports watch which I've had just about a year can tell if I've had even 3 drinks and I can definitely tell if I've had 5+. I'm so grateful for the improved sleep that I have with low or no drinking. I can think back to 2 years ago and I was just having a shit night's sleep one after the other - it was normal.

Now I'm sleeping better, I rather resent having my rest banjaxed by a few drinks, but hey do be like that, seems like!

Hey everyone, happy weekend.

Do you know what? I often read your posts when I'm rushing around, then think of something really insightful, witty or helpful to reply...but by the time I get round to putting the laptop on a few days later, I've completely forgotten what I was going to write !

@BezMills love your line of "as much self-care and self-kindness as I can." - great advice we should all take on board. When you said you raised a glass to FIL on Saturday, I took you literally and thought you just had the one. Perhaps you had a few? Regardless, know you've been making a concerted effort with your mental health and drinking over the past few years, and sounds like you're making progress (we all know it's never linear).

@letshavetea well done on your 41 days and counting...amazing!

@harriethoyle yep, main reason I started cutting right back a couple of a years ago was due to the awful side effects of alcohol. I have IBS and alcohol really upsets my stomach. I'm mid forties and the hangovers last days and just aren't worth it in general. Sorry about your phone!

I keep thinking about what the original poster of this long-running thread said was their aim; drinking on high days and holidays only. That's my aim now. Weddings, big parties, holidays. I'm so proud that I'm now a "conscious" drinker. I don't open a bottle of wine on a Friday night on autopilot, just because it's the weekend or I've had a stressful day. I mean, I had a really stressful afternoon today thanks to one of the kids, and I really craved a glass of wine (that little can of pink chicken wine in the fridge was shouting super loudly!). But I pledged to do a Dry May and I'm too stubborn to quit now. I know I'll sleep so much better and have a nicer weekend for not drinking (pretty sure that can of wine would have led me to opening a bottle of fizz...once I start...).

Have a good weekend all.

thanks @ForeverTipsy I appreciate it

I feel pretty decent on the whole, but as I say I don't think I'm quite 100%.That's OK, I'm looking after myself and I think it's slowly improving.

I did have a drink last Sunday as discussed, and then had another one. Slightly scary how quickly the whisky goblin woke up! I left it at two large whiskies, wisely. I was training first thing the next day with a new trainer which helped me keep it somewhat straight and narrow.

Hi! I’d love to join. I was a member of an earlier version of this thread title a few years ago and it was super helpful back then.

I’ve decided to go alcohol free for June, as moderating isn’t working for me.

I only drink from a place of joy, but I am apparently joyous most days! 😂 But seriously, I am sick of the feeling of being tipsy (drunk) being followed by tiredness, anxiety, hungover. I’m sick of not having a totally clear mind, missing exercise and eating rubbish during or the day after.

I want to be one of those healthy, bouncy, achieving people!

Anyways, that’s my story for now. Look forward to keeping each other updated and inspired!

I'd love to join, too.
I'm trying to do dry June. 3 weeks, at least - that is my goal. Day 2 today. Yesterday I felt strangely peaceful not having the weight of the "do I drink today or not?" decision to make.
But today already I'm thinking, maybe leave it this month, you never really drink that much.
So I'm posting here for a bit of accountability.

Welcome @Elleoeez and @SundayBangor - how are your Dry June's going? Sounds like you're both going to fit right in here! Sorry if the thread is a little slow at times, but do please always post for accountability and to check in with us all.

How's everyone else doing? Predictably, I completed my Dry May and then started drinking on Weds. But wait, that was the 3rd (so feeling proud as Old Me would have cracked open the wine on the 1st June) and I was out at a gig. THEN, yesterday...I landed my dream job!! Had the interview, then they asked me to wait a little while, then gave me wonderful feedback on offered me the position there and then! (I cried!). It's working in a secondary school supporting parents, which is my passion. So, naturally, last night I had some fizz to celebrate. To be fair though, last time I got a new job was Feb 2025 and I was doing my 100 Days Sober so didn't celebrate with alcohol that time. So I thought sod it, as I have lots of fizz from birthday gifts last month.

My sleep has been shocking lately due to job interview anxiety, so although the three glasses of prosecco surely made it worse, I was past caring at that point. Back on the wagon for a few days now though. Need to log the drinks on the apps, as last year I gave up tracking over the summer and regretted it.

Hope everyone is well and has a fab weekend.

P.s I only drink from a place of joy too @Elleoeez ... but yeah, seems (normally, when not stuck in a job I was miserable in and job hunting) I'm usually quite a joyful person too...! Target is to keep tracking over summer and to stay within govt guidelines of no more than 14 units per week. Then I may do a Sober Sept + Oct as a challenge. Then Dry Jan. Which means if I can do Jan, May, Sept & Oct totally dry then that would be pretty amazing.

Hi all. Been doing ok here, drinking socially now & then & not feeling too bad.
Yet here I am at 6am wide awake after drinking last night 🤦‍♀️ Anxious & tired. Why do I do it. 🤦‍♀️
It will pass I know. But God its just not worth it is it.
Hope you're all having a better weekend!

I’m still sober! I’m through the hardest days, Friday and Saturday… Although I liked Sunday afternoons too 😂 but I think I can hang in there.

Congrats on landing your dream job @ForeverTipsy - that is worth celebrating!

Sorry you’re feeling rough today @ERN79 . A good night sleep tonight and you’ll feel better tomorrow 🙏

Really enjoying how I feel. I need to remember this feeling!

I have had a couple wobbles on Thursdays. Not sure why - maybe I'm so busy on a Wednesday that Thursday is my hump day? Overall I'm doing good and at going on 5 weeks (discounting the whiskies a couple weeks ago). Honestly not sure, which I think is a good sign. I'm not counting, just enjoying being sober sober.

Thanks @Elleoeez. I'm ok, just very tired!
Need to moderate, and didn't last night. Don't remember the end of the evening, but at the time I appear completely fine. I hate the memory loss. It worries me. Currently feeling tired, anxious & like I've let people down. Which I know is daft. Lazy day at home & I'll be ok.

Congratulations on your job @ForeverTipsy and thanks for the welcome.
I've had a pretty nice week, a few jealous glances at husband's mealtime beers but otherwise no pain.
UNTIL yesterday. I had a stressful day, trying to manage an insurance claim for a community group I'm involved with because I'm slightly less ignorant of the process than everyone else. Then I woke in the middle of the night realising I had FORGOTTEN to see a (paid job) client I'd agreed to drop in on. I necked the vodka at that point truth be told. (Occurred to me I should have gotten rid at the start of the month). Sorted-ish in the harsh light of day, ok but trust lost I guess.
Still, no desire to drown my sorrows today, either. So that's a plus.

@ForeverTipsycongratulations on the job . Great motivation as well certainly wouldn’t want to be hungover or smelling of booze when seeing those parents.
I haven’t touched a drop since Feb 8th this is the longest I’ve ever gone apart from pregnancies. Fact is I do miss it. But think I just need to accept I probably will always miss it.

good morning all. Yesterday was a real danger day. Stuck at an outdoors event all afternoon and everywhere I looked, people were having a delicious alcoholic beverage! I ended up snacking a lot instead, but it was this >< close at least a couple of times, to just getting a drink from the bar.

In the end I didn't. I'm putting everything in a tracker at the moment and yesterday wasn't a good day for nutrition, but yanno, I'll still call it a win because I got through a danger zone!

Hope you all are getting on ok and have a good week ahead to come

Well done on resisting the peer pressure @BezMills!

I've been thinking about social drinking, and @ForeverTipsy's comment about 14 units / week, and what drinks I actually enjoy. I wonder if moderation is possible, because what I do miss is my nightcap, so will I be able to limit drinking if future with the knowledge bedtime drink is ahead? I'll se in July, I guess.
That was meant to be facetious about the peer pressure it's a bit schoolmarmy reading back 🧐

Morning all! I’ve been reading this thread again and been through a lot these past weeks due to alcohol intake. It was getting out of hand and I was definitely drinking too much and daily. So. Put my big girl knickers on and stopped. Been AF since Sunday. Today is day number 5. Baby steps and a small victory. Sleep is still awful. But I woke up this morning feeling so energetic and fresher. So even if sleep isn’t great yet, I’m not feeling exhausted by the drinking.
Needed to write it down somewhere.
So my plan is to get back into being AF for as long as possible and to feel better.

Will try to report back with positive news and will continue to read thread.

Hope you all have a good day. Stay strong.