On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

Can I join? I’m officially 7 days sober after a giant bender last week where I got absolutely annihilated in the pub. No idea how much I drank but I drank enough to trip over the dog ramp in our bedroom and launched myself headfirst into first into the open wardrobe door which ripped off its hinges, then I’m assuming I fell backwards onto the ramp (I can only guess but it’s broken) DH went into the spare room to get away from me after screaming at me (he’s told me I remember nothing) I woke up fully dressed on the floor of our bedroom.

We had a come to Jesus moment where we both cried and we both agreed to move forward together, me being entirely sober. He also was very concerned about my mental health as I’ve basically been self medicating to get away from the constant racing thoughts.

I had already asked the GP for help with my mental health and the crisis team had declined to help me because I initially paid for a private psychiatrist, so I paid to see another one at the priory on Tuesday and she said she agreed with the diagnosis of bi polar but my previous doctor in 2020 had written BPD instead of BPAD so that’s why the crisis team declined to help me. I’ve now got a prescription for an antipsychotic and I’ve now got a community psychiatric nurse.

I’ve not said never again im just keeping a promise to DH of at least until my birthday

Of course you can join us @GodThatsBrilliant Welcome along. Sorry to hear you're really struggling at the moment but well dont on being proactive re: having the support of the community psychiatric nurse. When is your birthday? Is your DH supportive of you quitting alcohol altogether?

Hope you can get lots of help and support in real life as well as on here 🙏

Thought I’d check in as hadn’t in a while! So I have been doing well with moderating and am so proud!

went out with friends on Saturday and these are friends who drink ALOT! I had two glasses of pink fizz before a meal, then when we had the meal, my friend wanted to order a bottle of white to share.. usually I’d say yes but I actually didn’t want it as knew I’d drink half the bottle and I wanted to stick with pink fizz and enjoy the taste so I said ‘actually no I’ll have my own glass of pink fizz, you carry on with the white or whatever you fancy’. We then went onto a bar after and I didn’t carry on even though the others had one. I felt super proud! I did vape which I do when I drink as it tends to give me that buzz without having to drink more! I threw the vape away yesterday morning so I didn’t carry on sober as I can sometimes sneak it here and there!

Does anyone else vape?

Anyway I woke with a headache but a small one that went and my poor DH who didn’t drink but isn’t a drinker and mixed beer and red wine had the hangover from hell I mean couldn’t get out of bed until 430pm! He lost a whole day and I did feel sorry for him but thankfully I was fine to collect our son and entertain him!

Hi! My birthday is July. I’m now 12 days sober and I don’t miss it at all. I’ve been to the pub twice now since becoming sober and I have had either a fanta or blackcurrant with lemonade and I don’t miss alcohol at all. If anything actually it’s made going to the pub so much nicer? We live in a small village so the entire heart beat of the village is unfortunately in the pub and to be a part of the community you do tend to have to go to the pub which isn’t great!

he’s actually really impressed and proud of me because I told him I won’t drink and I haven’t. I think if I’d just been a bit blasé about the whole situation he would have been really upset because I really was a heavy drinker, but by saying that I won’t drink and not drinking I’m proving it’s not just words and our marriage means more to me than beer

Just an update on me. Currently 18 days sober, good God the sugar cravings are insane

hey!! Well done - that’s great 🥳. I wouldn’t worry too much about the sugar for now, your body will adjust, the biggest game in town is being AF and you’re nailing it.

Hi @ForeverTipsy- sorry to be slow picking this up but you mention an ADHD diagnosis… I don’t think I’ll peruse this but I relate to some ADHD traits and I’m interested in what you felt a diagnosis has done for you (if you don’t mind me asking)? Is it just reassurance / acknowledgment or are there any practical benefits of the diagnosis? It sounds like it’s a real positive for you so I’m glad it’s come through, I guess it’s been a long road x

Hello everyone 👋 Hope everyone is doing well.
I had a night out on Saturday drinking. I did switch to water towards the end. Bit of a strange evening, felt a bit of an outsider & at times thought I'll have this one & leave... but never did. 🤦‍♀️ Has made me think though, I wasn't really enjoying many parts of it so why did I bother.
Anyway... Absolutely knackered yesterday through lack of sleep, late night & seemingly unable to sleep past 6am 😭 but hangover wise fine. Which was a bonus!
Hangiexty wasn't off the scale, so thats a win, though I am currently in the meh phase. Alcohol has a knock on effect to my week these days. Trying to get my arse in gear & fight the niggles in my brain which are making me anxious! Determined not to let em win. Also no plans for drinking until at least May now, so let's see how that goes!
Thanks for letting me just get my thoughts out somewhere!
Here's to another week guys!

Hi all!

I've started the Sinclair Method last week and so far it's going well. Feel better in the mornings. Had my liver test results back this morning and all normal - yay!

I got up to a bottle of wine a day and currently am having maybe half a glass a night (as per the method, you don't go cold turkey), although perhaps a bit against the advice I'm giving myself one day off the medication per week on Saturdays when I have some wine. It has worked so far.

@ERN79 yep sounds familiar! I think some of these social events are just not that much fun, like at all, but you don't notice when you're drunk! I went down town on Saturday to meet a friend. It was an all day fundraiser for Parkinson's disease with bands playing in the back courtyard. I sat in the front bar but even that was too loud and annoying for me.

I did give the outside a try for her sake but I quickly said to my friend 'honestly I'm finding this horrible, sorry, I'm just going to go'. Which she was OK about, she was going along anyway and her ex bf was there and playing in a couple of the bands (they get on great).

I went up the hill to the social club and found the quietest table in the back room and read my book in relative peace and quiet for an hour or so, with a couple of beers. I know that's technically 'drinking on your own' but yanno I had the company of a good book?

@BezMillsI get this. I can't cope with the noise & people shouting over each other these days!

We were at an event, which was good. But then drinks afterwards & honestly wish I'd called it a day then. Too many big characters & alcohol, just didn't mix for me. You live & learn eh.

Popping back in after a few weeks where I didn't try to moderate at all because of the life stuff going on!

But I have downloaded the "Reframe" app - has anyone else tried it? I am five days in and I think it's good. It's about alcohol use not necessarily sobriety so you can use it to support reduction or abstinence and it goes into some really interesting psychology and physiology around drinking. i signed up for the free trial but I think I am going to pay for it.

Will you have me back? Did SO well, then slipped, now back into one or a few drinks in the evening. Going home from a month travelling and need to get back to good again. Been doing well exercise side. Need to either moderate A LOT or go AF. Again. In good spirits though (excuse the pun). Feeling good. Just need to stop that evening drink slipping back in,
will start reading this thread again. Hope everyone is well. Back to sober, mind you, haven’t actually been getting drunk. Just don’t want to slip back into bad habits.

Just another recommendation for the Sinclair Method. Thought I'd have a night off on Saturday and didn't take the medication. The wine still didn't feel like anything - might as well not have had it. I'm starting to see how it works - drinking is beginning to seem pointless and I can already feel myself wanting it less.

Just updating I’m 10weeks AF today . Very up and down with it to be honest
I haven’t really noticed any big benefits except spending less money . I’m craving and giving into chocolate but I imagine it’s not as harmful as the booze.

@notanotherroast that's amazing and I think anything that gets you through is fine. Sobriety is sadly not a panacea as we all find out. It can be a bit a grind sometimes but it's worth it.

I'm sadly not doing great but am improving recently and I feel like I'm getting out of the woods now. It can be a bit of a slog, sober or not!

@BezMills Thankyou . Today feel better actually maybe it’s the sun!! I’m sorry to hear you’re not doing well. It really is extremely challenging and I think all these sober promoters really do make promises that are extremely unrealistic. I suppose I was naively expecting dramatic improvements in all areas of my life but obviously it’s early days and people don’t change. I hope things continue to improve for you xxx

I'm sure the sun has helped my mood! I've got in the gym a couple times which helps a lot. The savage thing is when you stop doing the things that cheer you up, because you're sad! Who'd be human eh!

Hello all 👋
just wanted to jump in on this discussion if that’s ok, my own experience is that once I had stopped having a drink every night, and got it down to one bottle of wine a week with sometimes a beer or a whisky as well- so well under 20 units a week and often under 14- I stopped seeing additional benefits. So I feel that I am moderating (even though I’m aware I’m drinking heavily in medical terms) and it feels sustainable. I know alcohol is a class 1 carcinogen. I know that. But it doesn’t feel harmful at the moment 😬 and I don’t feel any additional benefits when I go AF for longer periods.

Not sure of my point really but sympathies to those awaiting greater feelings of freedom, health etc and not getting them! I hear you. The lack does make me wonder if being sober is actually worth it, when having a couple of drinks at the weekend isn’t stopping me doing anything I want to, and does bring me a fair bit of enjoyment and pleasure.

I have now reached the “magical “ 90 days mark of not drinking. Went on holiday last week and managed to stay off the booze. It is definitely getting easier. But I’m still my old lazy self! I’m applying for some counselling to see if that might help me think in a different way. No weight loss. But definitely not spending nearly as much money. Have two weeks with my mum coming up and that will be a true test of my resolve! Hope all of you are doing ok?

@notanotherroast had a good week actually. I had a bit of an epiphany after looking back through some records last year when I had a big sober run. I was getting a bit despondent and finding it really hard to start stopping iykwim. But when I saw the difference in just a few weeks it gave me a bit of self belief that I can do it and it's so worth it.

I set about it on Monday and genuinely felt good ticking off each day. Thursday night I was away on a solo trip and had wine with dinner and a beer after and yesterday I did go down the local and had a really good laugh over 3 beers. But I feel I kind of played my joker and felt the benefit: back on the plan today.

Yes I’m not saying never again ( even though that should be the case!!) but I’ve also got the nal up my sleeve if I do decide to have a drink .
well done to you sounds like you’re doing very well

Hello everyone, so sorry for going AWOL. You know when you keep replying in your head but don't actually get around to replying? Yeah, that.

I was a bit disappointed with myself in April as only had 19 dry days. I mean, some of the evenings I was only having a small amount of port (a gift, gorgeous bottle of white port...was delicious over ice as a nightcap), and I did have a boozy mini-break in Paris with friends, but still. So, despite this month being my birthday month, I have decided to do a Dry May. Eek. Feeling confident but only a 1/3 of the way through. Figured if I pull it off, that'll be 3/12 months dry (I always do Sober October and Dry January). I know June, July & August will be more boozy and I'm ok with that. My goal for the summer is to KEEP TRACKING. As I gave up with it last summer then regretted it. Fell properly off the wagon and put weight on, felt grim.

Someone upthread (sorry I can't find it now) asked me why I got an ADHD diagnosis? It was because I'm a very curious person by nature, and have a tendency to ruminate, struggle with internal hyperactivity (and external these day), get anxious, overthink, sleep problems, and my misophonia has got a lot worse since perimenopause kicked in (I'm mid 40s). So I suspected ADHD and so did everyone around me. I went through GP and Right to Choose to get a diagnosis to help me understand myself better (cliche, I know). Also, I didn't want to spend years on antidepressants and/or sleeping tablets if they weren't right for me. I manage most of my symptoms holistically, but am curious to see if stimulant medication on some days may help calm my frantic mind. I mean, I've self-medicated with alcohol to quieten my mind since I was about 14. Not the healthiest choice, hence being on a sober journey.

well I didn't quite get back on plan on Saturday 9th (turned out I had another couple of jokers to play)!

I have however just booked a complete week dry, which is the first for a while, and I feel good about that. Also I've been tracking my food and drink consistently. I feel much better and more optimistic than I have for ages. Had a bit of temptation on Thursday night but I got through it, otherwise it's been quite calm and dare I say easy. I just have to keep telling myself that none of these drinks I occasionally fancy having is worth breaking my sobriety for.

Well done @BezMills for your dry week. What app do you use to track your food please? I need to start doing that because my HbA1C level just came back from a recent blood test and it's gone back up one point so tipped me back into pre-diabetic 😫 I have been stressed with work and job hunting/applying/prepping for an interview/not getting a job, and had a birthday where loads of people kindly gave me loads of sweet treats and wine (I haven't touched the wine) despite most of them knowing I'm a semi-sober pre-diabetic ! 🙈 (sorry if that sounds ungrateful, I just have no willpower with sweet stuff in the house so been enjoying the posh fudge, truffles, nougat and chocolate bars pretty much every day for a couple of weeks now!).

Have been prioritising protein and nutritious food, too. Just need to crack this sugar addiction now (easier when the house isn't full of sweets and chocolates!).

Saw this earlier re: Susanna Constantine giving up alcohol but then developing a sugar addiction-

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1LyJovmUjF/