On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

I had a lovely day today and was craving wine soooo badly tonight! But am doing a (min) 10 day challenge, which started on 2nd Feb. So I've got a few days to go. It was so so hard, but I kept thinking of this thread and how disappointed I'd be in myself, so had s pint of elderflower cordial and a pint of ginger beer instead 💪

Hope you're getting on well @Takingbackmylife and agree with @nowinetimeforme - if tonight has been a failure with moderating then the decision has been made for you going forward (at least for a while).

I shared a bottle of wine on Friday evening which nixed my sober run. Honestly didn't enjoy it that much. It tasted good ngl but there was this kind of ashy disappointment aftertaste!

Then yesterday enjoyed a few brews watching the first 6n rugger match with a Scottish couple. Glad I didn't stay out out for the second (but also slight regret that I did not stay to enjoy Italy winning The Spaghetti Bowl with all the English fans lol)

So I managed to just stick to two glasses of wine and stop!
It’s 7:25am and I am not vomiting nor regretting what I may have said or done! Yes I have a slight headache but that’s because I didn’t drink for a month I think! The wine tasted good but the food wow even better, nicest meal I’ve had!

TBH I was happy to come home after that at around 10 but girls wanted to go to another bar that was super busy and full of ver young people! Even an extra drink wouldn’t have made me enjoy it more! So I had a Coke Zero and was happy knowing I could go home and wash my makeup off, tell my DH of my fun night and wake up fresh! It’s a win in my eyes!!

Well done! That’s a great achievement to ignore the voices and have a soft drink instead!

Great result @Takingbackmylife !

One whole month today!!! Amazing never ever thought I could do it.
cons- things are a bit meh and I find it extremely difficult to think of a future that doesn’t contain booze . I haven’t made any social arrangements because I can’t trust myself enough not to drink.( Of course I’m living in a booze free house because of my husband which does make things a lot easier to stick with.)
pros- a real sense of achievement and pride that I can trust myself to exercise some self control . I can eat some chocolate in the evening and haven’t gained weight. Sleeping very well. Saving a lot of money
but iI haven’t really addressed the why I drank so much. I am also very much tied to my husband s recovery which i shouldn’t be and obviously that’s a fragile thing. So I’ll report in again in the future.
good luck to you all . Hard to avoid something that’s literally everywhere

@notanotherroast

Yes that definitely rings a bell for me. At that point (almost exactly a year ago) I started to realise that there wasn't going to be some magic reward or feeling super great, and then what I used to say was "yes I might fancy a drink but I'd rather have the feeling of waking up tomorrow with another day banked on my sober streak"

@BezMillsThat’s good to know because you read all these sober stories which imply some kind of euphoria that comes with being sober.
im just hoping things normalise .
How are you finding things now? I guess you’ve achieved all the “firsts” which is great

yes, what I experienced was like

• week 1 - battling, wondering what to do, can do this. Aiming for 2 weeks.
• week 2 - oh wow getting some great sleeps, that's nice. Aiming for 6 weeks.
• week 3-6 - where's this sober euphoria then, why do I feel pretty "meh". Aiming for 3 months.
• week 8-12 - I can't believe I'm doing this (look ma!), and also, still waiting on sober euphoria. Enjoying the better sleeps, like a lot. Wow that's almost 3 months, might as well make it 6 months!
• months 3-6 - feel pretty decent, beginning to socially establish my sober identity, routines adjusted, feel pretty good about life (still no euphoria, what a rip off). Have really benefited from months of better sleep more than anything.

@BezMillsthankyou that’s a really helpful guide . I guess not upsetting anyone. Remembering what I’ve read/seen/ said also a big PRO
think that euphoria is an America upsell maybe?

Hi all, happy Sunday (or not; I've got the Sunday scaries already !). Really glad I didn't break my sober streak of 7 days over this weekend, even though it was really hard, as know alcohol contributes to my low mood.

Massive well done @Takingbackmylife ! What you did last night was AMAZING! I'm so chuffed for you, and well done for noticing all the little positives that comes with it, too.

@notanotherroast just because you're in a booze-free house doesn't mean life is easy for you right now. In fact, it sounds really bloody hard. Congratulations on your one month sober! I agree; when I did my 100 days last year at no point was there any euphoria ! In fact, there were times when I wondered if there were any health benefits from stopping (of course there are, I just couldn't see/feel them at the time). Keep going, you've got this!

@BezMills an ashy taste of disappointment after your wine? Was that due to the wine or your guilt/anxiety?! I think I've been there both times haha. Hope you enjoyed watching the rugby with your mates regardless.

@Takingbackmylife🙌🙌🙌

well done for last night, what a great achievement 🥳

Hello hello! Happy Friday! How is everyone doing? March is going ok so me so far. I am on 15 units, which really should have been 5. The other 10 (split over two evenings) were unnecessary and not enjoyable. All good progress as February was 130 units after things went a bit haywire mid month.

This week I have had 220ml of 4.5% lager because we had a 440ml can in a fridge and my OH asked if I wanted to share it with him. Ordinarily I'd have said don't be ridiculous, got some more in the freezer pronto and probably ended up having at least 3 cans to myself 🙄. This time I had my half and went to bed, not tempted to have anymore so I am taking that as a win.

I hope you are all looking forward to the weekend!

I am back on board if that is OK, had a good run up of about 5 months alcohol free around a year ago but broke that and went back to my old ways. I feel awful physically and feel my moods are getting affected too. I know how to do it, I feel I need accountability though.

I remember around this time last year before I started back drinking again how amazing and motivated I felt. I am sat here now with mountains of housework to do on my day off doomscrolling and wasting a beautiful sunny day.

But heres to day 1... again.

Hello just logging my situation ( not going to call it progress as feels far too soon) I am up to 6 weeks AF now
unheard of for me after decades of daily drinking
i am absolutely craving and not resisting chocolate though. This is a big concern for me as I struggle with my weight and lost 4 stones 3 years ago so really need to keep it off.
i imagined the calories saved from booze might offset it but maybe not! Has anyone else had this?

Hello @CrybabyDrybaby! Day 1s are never nice but you know what it feels to have 5 months under your belt so you know you can do it. I actually think it can feel like an exciting time when you decide to make a positive change, even though it will inevitably be a bit shit at times.

well done @notanotherroastthats great achievement - how do you feel? I think it’s common to crave sugar when you stop drinking, because you’ve been drinking so much sugar in the booze, your body is used to getting it! I think most people try to prioritise not drinking in the early days, even if that means going rogue on the diet. Could you start substituting in some alternative slightly better snacks? I

Hello folks - how is everyone doing?

@CrybabyDrybaby have you been doing? Those first few days are tough.

How are you doing @BezMills and @ForeverTipsy ?

I'm doing Ok - I am drinking a lot less than I used to and I often don't think about drinking in the evening now, which is a big improvement. I can not say I have got it fully under control though. My OH suggested we go out for dinner on Saturday so I drank 2 large rum and cokes before we went. We had a very nice evening, 3 drinks while we were out. Without my totally unnecessary 'pre-loading' 🙄I'd have been very happy with it. Then I drank bottle of wine on Sunday. So 24 units in 2 days which should have been 8 (ie just the drinks out on Saturday). There is clearly still much work to do.

Hi @nowinetimeforme thanks for checking in. Well done on your progress - that's brilliant. I used to love the pre-loading drinks at home whilst getting ready and doing my make-up more than the ones when I was out sometimes?!

I was doing well this month, only drank twice and only one or two drinks on each occasion. But then went out for the day with a drinky friend last week and had around 13 units. Felt a bit rough the next day but not too bad. But then came down with a cold, sore throat, and now thrush ! It might just be because of the changeable weather and generally being run down, but I can't help ruminating on the fact that if I'd not drank all that booze then my immune system would have had a better chance at fighting stuff off. One of my main drivers for quitting last year was the impact it was having on my immune system. Can't help the weather or work stress (or waiting two weeks and counting for a decision on my ADHD diagnosis...) but not drinking is something within my control.

Had a fucking awful day, and said to DH I fancied necking a bottle of wine tonight. He was like "just have one glass". Hmm. It's not one of those days. If I have one glass it'll be the whole bottle and I know it. So I put on some fab loud music in the kitchen, danced, sang, had a good cry, big cup of tea under a fluffy blanket and now just had some ice-cream.

But my god isn't the temptation to just drown your sorrows just so so massive some days? (thought I was out of the woods, but don't think I'll ever be).

Just having a little self pit moment. As I said I have had to try and stop drinking because of my husband s AUD and rehabilitation etc. so I’m now up to 7 weeks and I just feel so bored and fed up . Lucky there is no drink in the house because I’d definitely e necking it.just a bad day really and im
find it very hard to accept a life with no alcohol
my sister is off to an all inclusive holiday for Easter and I’m so jealous!!
talk me down please!!

Ahh, how did you do? Did you struggle on and manage to abstain tonight? I think there is something about the 7 week mark (she says, as someone who has done it once) ... I think you may have hit peak "this is all fucking shit". It all seems boring and bleak and you crave the relaxation and highs that alcohol brings. And on top of all that, you are in the difficult position of being your partner's rock. So much more pressure. If you drink then it may feel like a betrayal? (Sorry if I'm way off the mark here). But then that pressure makes it 10 x worse in a way. I can only imagine the myriad thoughts in your head right now 😢

Whatever happened tonight, I hope you're proud. Seven weeks is incredible. But keep talking on here if and when you need.

(I've had a few drinks tonight if you couldn't tell...must try not to feel mega guilty tomorrow).

“Just has one glass” 😂 well, obviously that’s the best idea, doesn’t mean that’s what my stupid brain wants though.

my OH rarely has a drink and when he does it’s one or two. He’s a ‘just one glass’ person.

@notanotherroast your situation sounds so tough. Your husband’s situation must cause you a lot of stress. I wonder if your sobriety feels less satisfying because it’s been forced on you? Would you have quit if it weren’t for your husband? Are you pleased to not be drinking or do you just feel a bit resentful? Sorry for the many questions, feel free to ignore me if I’m prying.

I hope you’re feeling more positive today. do you think there are things you could do to ‘capitalise’ on your sobriety? A new hobby in the evenings? A walk or a run in the morning to savour your lack of a hangover? I think if we don’t add new things, stopping drinking can feel like lots of downsides and a more boring version of our old lives

@ForeverTipsyi hope you had a good evening last night and you don’t wake up feeling down on yourself xx

Hi @nowinetimeforme I woke up feeling physically grim (headache, dry mouth, bad stomach, dizzy and a bit sick...especially when I was weight training !). I don't regret all the prosecco I drank last night though; I recognise I was using it to calm my nerves after a stressful week or two, and know I can moderate again straightaway. Realised I typed last night I've only done 7 consecutive weeks sober before, but actually I did 80 days in 2020 and 100 last year. I think we tend to forget how well we've done/how far we've come when we're stressed hey? I only drank on four occasions in March (no plans to drink until April now) which is amazing considering I used to drink at least four nights a week.

Aaand...I finally got my ADHD diagnosis today! Feeling all the feels, including hungover ;-) One less thing to stress about in a way, as it's given me clarity and closure.

Hope everyone is doing ok? And you all have lovely weekends!

@nowinetimeforme@forevertipsy
Thankyou both . Yes I didn’t drink last night or this evening. In a way yes it is forced on me but like all of us on here I was aware that my drinking was too much . Daily wine at least half a bottle more on many occasions and I always intended to cut down but never did . So I really needed to change but yes I do feel forced into it . My husband has been a wonderful husband and father so I really want to support him but his rapid descent into absolute dependence was terrifying. And despite me saying it was sudden the therapist s and psychiatrist have said that that’s never the case . It’s always that Addiction is a progressive disease so any of us who struggle to control our drinking or try repeatedly to moderate without success are at risk. Also there’s the very real danger that my husband will relapse so I need to be in a position to make some big life changing decisions and the money I’m saving by not buying alcohol is a big part of an escape plan should I need it .So the problem for me is I’m doing this alone and finding it very isolating and I guess I’m in denial that I am currently a functioning alcoholic but things could change so quickly.
also I think I am actually grieving for a life without alcohol i associate it with good times( although of course there’s been many bad times too) of course i can still go out and drink if i want to but i feel i need to try and stay sober for now
lam really liking being on this thread and find it very helpful but I don’t want to be too negative even though I do feel I’m a bit like the ghost of Christmas future!!!