On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

Anyone doing an alcohol reduction challenge for Lent? I am toying with only drinking once a week (with a hall pass for my March birthday!) until Easter...

Hi @harriethoyle I think I need to!

I've slid back into having a drink every day. In fact I'm not sure when my last dry dry day was.

Nothing too excessive although I can already see it's affected my sleep a bit and my mood too. Not to mention the dubious dietary choices I've been making lately, no wonder I don't feel 100% A-1 at the moment! I'm not sure the booze is the root cause, rather more a symptom of a general malaise. I have been struggling in the last months, no doubt about that. Don't get me wrong, the drinking it's certainly not helping and I'm not trying to shirk accountability or anything.

I guess if I think back to this time last year, I was also struggling with low mood (also for good reasons quite apart from the season) but I was training hard and staying off the booze. So what was good medicine then, is good now.

As usual, seeing it is half the problem, doing it is the other half.

Bon courage to all of us!

I've committed to the once a week drinking @BezMills - will see how I go! Will be Saturday this week as we have friends staying. Have also pledged not to eat toast for breakfast 😂mainly to get myself out of my toast based rut and onto less carby alternatives...!

Haha my cheese on toast habit is strong tbh

I feel you. My H and I have the agreement that we only drink on any or all of Friday to Sunday otherwise it would have crept up for me. It HAS crept up- I had a beer and somehow a whole bottle of wine tonight: I’ve more beer and more wine for tomorrow.

but it is a long dark stretch from new year to here, and a lack of respite. So let’s be nice to ourselves. It’s getting lighter every day,

I felt a bit rough and pretty cross with myself this morning 🤦‍♀️

@DoubtfulCat I fell at the first Friday hurdle last night 🙈🙈 going to aim for a dry Sunday and have lots of non alcoholic options in… I have so much going on at the moment I think it’s just a step too far to cut my intake by 2/3rds - although my inability to do that vexes me…

I’ve no excuses. It’s the same sort of self destructive behaviour that I see in other areas but I go in eyes open 🤦‍♀️

Hello everyone! Just wanted to return and vent.
so a couple of things I think I mentioned before that my husband tipped into full blown alcoholism around this time last year. I keep saying it came out of the blue but of course we were both casually drinking every night so his drinking just escalated dramatically.
it has been absolute hell on earth .
So I tried nalexone bought it privately and it was honestly helping me a lot , so if any of you wanted to give it a try I’d really recommend it.
unfortunately I only found out about it too late because if you are using it as the Sinclair method you need to continue to drink whilst taking it.
my husband had to be medically detoxed and has had rehab. Part of this was to return to a “dry “ house . So I agreed to stop drinking in the house.
so I could go out and drink but having see what happened to him very quickly I’m really hoping to stop.
It’s now been two weeks. Longest I’ve gone with out alcohol in my memory.
i cannot lie I am finding it tough . Positives are better sleep
and more money . I can remember what I have watched on tv or read .
but I find the evenings so long and dull.
i love planning holidays and i associate them with drinking wine so not doing that .
i know it’s for the best but wow it’s hard.
but i also wanted to say if you had seen the terrible state my husband got into it is a very big wake-up call as to how quickly and devastatingly alcohol can ruin your life.
do look as the Sinclair method I was really finding it helpful and only wish I’d started it much much sooner.

@notanotherroast

Oh that sounds tough. You are doing so well though.

It is a bit of a slog especially at this time of year and especially if you have things going on, as you do.

Toying with doing a dry March. Anyone else?

@notanotherroast really sorry to hear this, I hope you and your husband can keep on it x

Thankyou . I really hope this comes as a bit of a warning really! I absolutely don’t mean that in a judgmental way but the impact of going from a “ few harmless” drinks in the evening to the situation now has been devastating. And the psychiatrist who admitted my husband said this is an extremely common routine thing where a “ functional “ drinker can become an addict with all the problems that brings very easily.
terrible to see the results on the other alcoholics being treated in the rehab including women who’s children have been taken into care.
So this thread is great as it’s a place to admit in a safe space what’s happening and hopefully get things under control before the true horror occurs !!

I’m another who has recently discovered the Sinclair Method through Rethink Drink and it is honestly helping me so much. I found it through a chat on here after over a decade of a trying to cut down through periods of abstinence and immersing myself in quit lit and podcasts. It all made sense but just didn’t have any lasting effect for me.
i was averaging 50-60 units a week. I’m now 5 weeks in to the method and last week I logged 8 units which were all social drinking. I’ve lost the desire to drink at home alone which was my main weakness.
I think I am responding quickly. Everyone is different. But please do look into it if you are struggling.

Yeah I'm doing dry "blank" from this day forth.

I played a joker at the weekend and quite enjoyed it to be fair, but a couple of things came up that I didn't like to see or hear, and it reminded my why I stopped, why it's important and why I absolutely do not want to go back to how I was.

I remember this time last year, I was about 6 weeks in, and struggling a bit, ngl, but also enjoying the satisfaction of each sober day and week accumulating!

I can hardly believe it today, at the end of a couple of weeks of almost back to the old days drinking, but I did almost the entire year dry, including just shy of 6 months being the biggest run.

The thing I struggled with a lot mentally, was the thought 'what if I really really just can't drink and I have to admit that I have to be sober sober not so much as choice but as necessity'

I don't think I'm quite there (or don't want to think that anyway) but I came to the realisation last year after months of sober living that I'd choose that over the booze life, and it's not remotely a close contest. So why would I throw that away.

I guess this Ted Talk of a post is me telling me that it's sober time again. Here we go, wagons ho!

So I’m doing well with my abstinence. It’s been 16 days now! I’ve not really been tempted as haven’t done a lot of socialising. However I have found I am not looking forward to things as much now which is really sad! I have dinner (and drinks!) with the girls on 7th and I’d usually be excited! I however am a bit ‘meh’ about it! However usually I’d drink too much, say things I regret and have the hangover from Hell oh and spend too much. So I don’t know what I’m missing? I think it’s that initial glass of wine, that loosens me up and makes me feel confident. However after the first, it’s ALWAYS downhill and if I have one I won’t stop. I know abstinence is for me, I’m proud of myself and feel better mentally but is is sad that I’m not looking forward to things as much despite feeling crap after!

So I’m on day 16 and feeling good… However I have found I am not looking forward to things as much now which is really sad! I have dinner (and drinks!) with the girls on 7th and I’d usually be excited! I however am a bit ‘meh’ about it! However usually I’d drink too much, say things I regret and have the hangover from Hell oh and spend too much. So I don’t know what I’m missing? I think it’s that initial glass of wine, that loosens me up and makes me feel confident. However after the first, it’s ALWAYS downhill and if I have one I won’t stop. I know abstinence is for me, I’m proud of myself and feel better mentally but is is sad that I’m not looking forward to things as much despite feeling crap after!

@Yourlifeinyourhands

I definitely remember feeling like that! I did have and have had some great days and nights just being sober, but ngl, some times it just wasn't as much fun hanging out with people who are drinking.

It do be like that sometimes, it really do.

ETA well done and keep going, you're doing great!

Two days done, here we go day 3, quietly satisfied with that. Carrying on!

Isn’t it sad that I’m going out with the girls this weekend and I was thinking about what to wear and I thought.. ‘why does it matter? I’m not drinking I don’t care!’ How crazy? Just because I’m not drinking I’m thinking it won’t be fun, it isn’t worth looking nice for! When actually it means I’ll go home looking like I went out! No makeup smeared over my face, no falling over in my heels, no sleeping in my makeup!

Really need to change my thinking!

I mean not only that but I’m not massively looking forward to it as I think it will be boring, I will be boring! Girls want to go dancing after… I definitely can’t do that sober…

keep thinking I’ll have a drink… just one but will that be enough? Will I stop, will I want more? Will I regret it?!

Thoughts please?!

PS it’s 3 weeks since my last drink when I woke with the worst hangxiety! Proud of that! I also keep having dreams I’ve had a drink and feel so guilty!

As always on day 1 of time I have decreed to be dry, my brain is going ‘oh sod it, you don’t have to’. Been so tired this weekend that I’ve had a bottle of wine over two nights and so not feeling any regret or ill effects, and tha always undermines my will power. However it’s Sunday so perfectly acceptable to not have a drink later.

@Takingbackmylife dancing can be tricky, as can hanging out with drunk people while sober. Can you reframe your expectations of the weekend? Make a plan to leave earlier than you might, while it’s still enjoyable, and go out early the next morning (or have clean sheets on the bed and enjoy a lovely lie-in, that sort of thing)?

@Takingbackmylife well done on three weeks! Is your aim to stop completely?Same for me three weeks today. I am actually finding it more difficult as the time goes on. Things just feel duller overall . But as I said earlier my husband is out of rehab so I have to stick with it .
good points are much better sleep, more money ( good as I’m having to prepare for the worst if/when he relapses)
i honestly didn’t realise how central alcohol was in my life so really trying to alter my mindset . Very helpful to read all your stories

I found a bit of a slump in those weeks too, I gather it's quite common. As well as the brain chemistry, which is apparently a thing, there's like an interim period where you miss your drinking and related activities but haven't filled the gap, if that makes sense?

Stay with it, it does improve, and every sober week is a huge win

@BezMillsthankyou that’s really helpful to know. Yes that’s exactly it looking for stuff to fill the evenings . I’m going to stick with it. Thankyou for the encouragement xxx

Yes I plan to eat a really yummy dinner when out and maybe a dessert as I wouldn’t usually and I can spend money on that and not alcohol! I plan to drive my friends there, park near and leave early! Means I can then be up bright and early to take my son to his swimming lesson. We just had dinner at a friends and usually I would have at least 2-3 glasses of wine. Whilst they all did, I resisted and found myself making a concerted effort to make conversation and ask questions. Now I am home feeling fresh, made the packed lunch for school and work tomorrow and sorted uniform out and ready for a bath and film. I’d have previously felt groggy and hungover and wanted to slump on the sofa!

@notanotherroast I don’t want to stop completely forever but as it’s early days, to resist temptation I think sobriety is the only way forward. If this goes well, in a few months I may challenge having 1-2.
Yes you really do have a good incentive to stick to your sobriety. Having someone near who needs you and your support is a huge challenge. Well done.

Happy Monday everyone - it's spring! I posted here a couple of weeks ago as my February was spiralling. I feel like I've mainly got things back on track - I had a bit of a blow out on Friday but to be honest that was never going to be any different and I had made my peace with that before I went. I am pleased that I managed not to drink the rest of the weekend as a big friday would typically always lead to a big weekend but i managed to resist the temptation. Felt pretty fresh this morning despite my kids disturbing my sleep a lot last night. Happy it's March and looking forward to a low alcohol month.