The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

I've eaten too many sour Skittles 😩- I guess that's progress, but bingeing on sugar wasn't the solution

I member the last time I gave up alcohol I read something that your body craves the sugar it would probably have gotten from the alcohol. I think (I'll try and find the actual info) it said that you could expect to crave sweet and sugary things for the first month or two. I ate huge bars of galaxy every day initially, before I looked for and then understood the link.

Just to add that I can't find the original info I read, but I just googled 'craving sugar after quitting alcohol' and tons of stuff came up.

@taylorean look at how much sugar is in a bottle of wine! It’s tons. A little bag of skittles is a whole lot better than boozing. Like @APineCone says, your body is craving it. I don’t really have a sweet tooth normally. I was out for a walk the other day and took a massive detour so that I could go to the co-op for a chocolate bar on the way back home. Not me at all!!! When I was breastfeeding, I had an addiction to star bars. I had them in cupboards everywhere and in my car. I ate at least 2 at day. My body called for it! It got it. Only the mind tells us we need alcohol. We really don’t. That’s what’s hard to overcome.

@Womanshour spooky! Maybe it’s just symptomatic of where we are in this country. Whatever your political stripes, successive governments have given women a crap deal. Working and running a house and caring for a family is having multiple jobs at once. Working part time can be really crap because you end up being knackered when at work AND at home and doing a not-so-good-job at either. Cue mum guilt. Whilst I am lucky to have had the option of working part time when my babies were small, I feel I’ve lost out now because the cost of living is just so high. I’ve effectively been forced back to work and I absolutely resent being reduced to a unit of economic productivity. I’m a bloody mother!! Where are women’s choices?! Like that split maternity leave with fathers policy there is? I’ve only met one couple capable of doing that and basically they were wealthy to begin with! My reaction to hearing about that policy was “screw you; I had the baby, I need the rest!!”.

anyway, rant rant rant!! There is a silver lining. I start my new full time job in March. I’m doing some odd days here and there to break myself in and it’s been great. I’m really excited about going to work for the first time in years. I’m pleased to have some ‘me time’ and I was approached for this job which made me feel valued and competent (not something my current boss does). I think part of my drinking problem actually stems from how utterly bored I am as a mum. We live in the sticks and post pandemic and busy lives has meant that I’ve been pretty isolated ever since. I need to go to the theatre or a show or meet up with my friends more. I need to make an effort. I’ve had no energy to do anything because I’ve been drinking so much. When I’m tired, I want to drink. Cycle, cycle,
cycle.

I’ve just been existing for so long, not living!! I’m hoping banishing booze will bring me more opportunities and contentment but I know it’s me that needs to make that happen.

@WendyWagon thanks! Good luck with everything. I’m hoping the irritability passes soon. Whilst I love my DH, I was feeling like it was alcoholism vs divorce this morning. He’s always been a pain in the a*se, he just seems at lot worse lately 🤪.

@SmellyMe yes we are screwed over for many things as women. I've been working full time for quite a few years (way over full time hours) with a needed wage but the mental load of motherhood is something else, and when adding work ontop is so hard.

I start my new job at a similar time to you. Let's hope these big life changes make it easier to have the good lives we want without booze.

Afternoon all and wave and welcome to the peeps who are more new than me xxx
62 days here for me today and feeling soooo much better.
I haven't gone this long without alcohol since i had my ds 22 years ago . Was a nightly drinker prior with bottle a night (wine) plus more at the weekend.
Apparently I never appeared drunk and I never missed work as a result. I thibknijwas becoming dependant. I read around sobriety for ages before actually doing this .
Anyway one heart attack later and suddenly I'm sober / a stone lighter and feeling a whole lot more positive about my whole life
I've learnt to crochet and can relax enough to read books again (too much)y rosacea has completely gone, my eyes are popping and I am so much more present with my gorgeous family.
Still lots to do but reading and sometimes posting on here for accountability been fantastic.
I have literally loved myself sober and still going.
I had two choices:
Choose to give up one thing and and gain everything else, or choose one thing and lose everything else
Stay strong all and hope your getting some sunshine where ever you are x

Wow @mumzof4x that's amazing, I just love your attitude!!

Did you have a heart attack? Your drinking is exactly the same as mine. Terrifying when I added up the units. What app are you using?

Wow on the weight loss! I lost weight initially but it's stalled totally. Even when I stopped for nearly 6 months I only lost 4lbs.

Well done, that's a lovely inspiring post thanks for sharing your journey x

Morning all.
A little better this morning.

@mumzof4x great to hear from you and well done.

I've got ants in my pants re the new bathrooms.
The DS is the main DIY man and has now started on are you moving or not (excuse me whilst I have a major operation).
His house offer wasn't accepted so we are all getting our tin hats out.
His year of saving up has extended too far me thinks.

Morning wonderful ladies on the big ship Sobriety, it's a fabulous voyage.
I will not drink today.
Love and kind thoughts to all
We've got this, we've got each other.

morning lovely sober ladies. been a bit overwhelmed by life's demands lately - work, elderly parents and ND teens - but still sober - 9 months under my belt and much better able to deal with everything life is throwing my way. big love to you all , lots to catch up on, will have a big read later. big love to @WendyWagon @REP22 @ShyMaryEllen @Womanshour who were here when i limped along 9 months ago and big hello and power to all newbies. it really is worth it. best thing i ever did.

Good morning everyone. I woke up this morning to a text from our neighbour saying our recycling bin had blown over and our recycling was littering the road, their lawn and other neighbours' gardens 🙈. Not the best start to the day, bleary eyed and picking up litter which seemed to have spread to half the village 😬

My husband is poorly in bed with a virus. I have cinema tickets booked for this evening so hope I don't come down with it too. Good luck everyone who is in the first few weeks of giving up alcohol. I promise it gets much easier. I found this very hard to believe when I first joined this thread. But it's honestly true.

I've hosted/attended lots of social things now where booze is flowing and it doesn't enter my head to drink it like it did in the first few weeks. We still have a houseful of wine and spirits but I'm not tempted. The sugar issue is proving a little more challenging, I have to say! I don't dream about wine but I do fantasise about Haribo 🤣🤣

Off now for a windy walk with the pup to blow away the cobwebs! Love to you all, especially to all those going through additional health issues.

Lovely to see you @ponzusoup

Sorry if I don't name check often, brain fog.

Hi, can I join? I've been sober for 40 days now (last day drinking was boxing day). I don't think I drank too much before, maybe most of a bottle of wine spread over the week (not every week) , or occasionally a couple of beers. If I went out I'd drink a lot more and feel terrible for 2/3 days. I turned 40 in November and I just don't want to do this anymore. That feeling of going out and thinking I really don't want to drink too much tonight... But being unsure if you will or won't! My problem is anxiety and especially social anxiety, so I've always drunk a lot to calm myself down and be able to talk to people. In my 40 days I've been out once to see a band and didn't drink and drove so that I wouldn't be tempted. It was fine and I didn't miss it at all. Doing exercise classes with friends too to be sociable and not involve drinking. And trips to the cinema.

Day 7. Went to bed at 8.30 last night and got up at 10.30 am, I was suddenly on my knees tired yesterday and ate dark chocolate. I never eat chocolate, I am a crisps girl but like others I now need chocolate after dinner to replace the sugar from wine. Feeling better this morning. I am off to buy more AF sparkling and dark chocolate for the next few days.

Welcome @BabaYagasLittleSister and congratulations on your 40 days, that’s a great achievement. I am new here but it’s a kind and active thread.

A hearty welcome to all who have discovered us lately, including @BabaYagasLittleSister , @APineCone , @Wintershealing , @Adsy1988 - sincere apologies if I have missed anyone. I am so glad you are here.

Sorry I am lacking in contact at the moment. Work is mad, often at it until 8pm at the moment, stopping only to sleep and attend to Sid. Hopefully only a temporary situation. It irks me that I can't keep up with everything.

Odd dreams at the moment though. I dreamt last night that I was being line-managed by Donald Trump. Truly chilling. Walls of silent minions quietly chanting "don't sign anything, don't sign anything" to my rictus-grinning strained face. The consequences of eating a bag of Milky Way Magic Stars right before bedtime, perhaps. Still managing better because sober though. I am mightily thankful for that.

Sid continues well, though spending much time with my M of late while I've been working. I did have to hoik him out the other day though - M currently has a UTI, joy of joys. Sid was sitting with her and her visiting friend when the talk turned to women's health. At the third mention of pessaries I felt Sid had suffered enough and took the haunted-looking lad into the office with me. He looked grateful. The mechanisms of ladies cause him bafflement and dismay.

Here he sits in silent supplication, pleading to be allowed to "wait in the car" [EDIT - not letting me share pictures. I fear MN have had enough of Sid.]

He sends you his heartfelt love. As do I. Keep going - it will be worth it in the end. xx

Awww lovely Sid. MN have disabled photos for now after a horrendous incident on Sunday night @REP22 . Hopefully they will sort out something soon. It's so lovely to hear of his antics and adventures.

Thanks @APineCone - oh dear, that sounds truly grim. I hope that the MN team haven't suffered too much grief over it.

Thank you for your kind words. ❤️ x

Sunday night was class A child abuse images posted in a thread.
I don't usually post anything at night but it does make you wonder on the policing of the site. I didn't see the posts.

I've seen the MN threads offering updates. It sounds horrendous. I feel for the people having to sort it out.

Hope you're doing OK @WendyWagon xx

Day 14 today for me, I’m quite proud of myself but need to constantly remind myself not to become complacent like I have done in the past.

Reading, and re-reading this thread has really helped me, so thank you to all who have posted.

@REP22 i didn't feel I should post any links.
Horrendous situation.
Lots of traffic on Sunday nights I imagine and lots of chances for the most vile to frighten and abuse women online.
I despair sometimes.

@Adsy1988 we're proud of you. 🎊

50 days!
Never thought I'd do it.

@mumzof4x
“Was a nightly drinker prior with bottle a night (wine) plus more at the weekend.”
This is literally what is killing middle aged women. Those that don’t appear drunk and manage a busy lifestyle/work whilst drinking rather a lot on a daily basis.

I was so pleased to read your post. It really helpful to hear what’s happening at 2 months. I have skin issues too. Although it’s better, it’s not amazing. I’m not getting the buzz from any extra sleep because I’m finding it difficult to nod off and waking up early. Sobriety fatigue perhaps?! I think i might have managed to shift 1.5 pounds as of today (day 31) but honestly hoped for more. It’s been refreshing to read your post though and I shall trudge on yet, knowing that it will get better over time.

im thankful im not craving much. I decided not to go for AF beer or wine as I worry I’ll just want the real McCoy. I also was reading a food magazine and had to quickly slam it shut when I saw a picture of icy chilled bottles 😱! My DH is missing our rituals of eating and decadently drinking and is desperate for a replacement. We did get some ginger beer and although I’m not really a cocktail drinker, the Belvoir mojito mock tail was pretty good - not too sweet with a bit of sharpness.

@SmellyMe yeah I get you re food magazines, Saturday Kitchen is one of my comfort programmes but finding it difficult to see and hear the wine chat. I think I will have to skip it for a while. My mood has dipped a lot. I am not going to drink today. I feel strong but low in spirits! I have nothing in the house and we are in the sticks. I think it’s the lack of sugar as much as anything. Also feeling more sensitive than usual, having to stay away from other threads and news generally. @mumzof4x congratulations on 62 days, I was a bottle of wine a night (or more) every night. Interested to hear your eyes are popping, the whites of my eyes looking so grey and awful was the final push for me to give up. Going to do a work out with dance music to try and boost my mood. Hope everyone is doing ok.

I'm the same with Saturday Kitchen @Arrietty58 - I have it on permanent loop on the iPlayer throughout the night but agree the wine 'n' cocktails stuff is not helpful.

You're all doing so well. Much kudos to you. Brilliant @TequilaAndPickles and @Adsy1988 and @mumzof4x - goddess-level stuff. x

Old Titmarsh always has a AF option on Sunday. I've had plenty of recommendations.
Sugar is needed in the early months. Fractose in fruit does the trick for me. I was on the cherries today. Nectarines yesterday. The only fruit I don't like is Sharon fruit.
I'm not sure if Nigella drinks anymore. I didn't see her with a glass in any recent series. Plenty of male chefs push the booze though.