@Wintershealing I felt this way for a long time before I gave up. I knew I needed to stop but couldn’t get into the frame of mind where it was possible. I was literally crying at my husband on a weekly basis that I needed to stop and I was begging for help. He kept telling me to moderate which I absolutely can’t do. When I start, I don’t want to stop. If he was away on business or working late, I would just drink until I passed out. I just kept giving into my cravings.
I found GPs pretty hopeless. I felt it took a lot for me to be honest about how much I was actually drinking and when I did pluck up the courage a couple of years ago, one said “my goodness, that’s a lot. That’s the equivalent of x Greggs doughnuts.” Obviously, I wouldn’t sit and eat x number of doughnuts back to back because I’m not addicted to fckn doughnuts!! I thought it was awfully insensitive and poorly judged. The message was ‘stop’ or ‘cut down’ but no actual practical advice on how to do that.
At a later appointment with a different GP, she read my notes and asked how things were with drinking. I said I really wanted it, it was a craving. It wasn’t a casual thing. She had no advice. I was actually quite depressed then ( a symptom of long covid I think) and she prescribed anti depressants and left it at that. I read the patient information leaflet before I took them and a really common side effect was anxiety so I thought ‘bugger that, I don’t need heightened anxiety’. Thankfully, I was ok within a few months mentally but still drinking like a fish.
Whats finally brought me to the point of stopping is having a plan to change all the things that make my life miserable. Firstly, I read some quit lit, namely Sober Mama which is quite an extreme problem she had but good for illustrating why you need to stop and also practical tips on just what you are going to face. It can take 3 months for your brain to make its own dopamine again so initial target is the been dry January (starting 05/01) and then 100 days from there ans then so on. I’ve also been reading Claire Pooley’s original blog, mummy is a secret drinker. I’ve found it helpful to have a blow by blow account.
secondly, a major factor for me is getting a new job. I’ve been miserable in my job for a long time but just put up with my horrid boss and boring job because it was convenient with good money. Well, I got a new one and because I decided to go back to full time after years of part time, I knew I couldn’t function on the little energy I had left. I couldn’t drink 5 nights a week and perform well in my new job.
next on the list is buying a new house and moving somewhere that is better for the whole family. My husband is currently kicking and screaming about this despite knowing that it’s the right and practical thing to do. I gave up my 20-a-day smoking habit during the height of my university exams and survived so I know I can get through stressful situations without a crutch if I absolutely must.
My triggers for drinking are a stressful day at work, annoying children, annoying husband and being too tired to deal with all of the above. The first 2 weeks are probably the hardest but I find I’m trying to find distractions when j feel the urge. Having to be some where. Having to make something. I want to learn to knit. I had a rubbishy attempt at learning crochet a while back so I’m doing that again.
also, diet is looming in my mind. I’ve put my fatness to one side whilst I get through this period and feel more energised. My sleep hasn’t improved really so I’m indulging in chocolate and whatever else takes my fancy. I’m not gaining weight but I’m not seeing it drop off either.
I have joined a gym. I am only committing to one day a week so that it’s achievable and not an inconvenience. Couch to 5k is also a good course I would recommend. I’ve done it twice and fallen off the running wagon but it’s always something you can go back to and you know you’re improving your health just by trying.
I thought I might be able to try dieting in February. Oh no, this morning I ate my breakfast and my lunch in the car on the way to work. But I am on day 30 of having no booze and that’s something to be proud of.
think in small steps like the others have said. The big first one is stopping. Then it’s a series of smaller ones. I’m trying not to indulge in expectations that I will feel radically different because it’s a long slow climb (for me at least).
Good luck; you will get there.