The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

Get well soon, @WendyWagon.

There was a programme on TV last night about people giving up alcohol. ITV X has it if anyone wants to see it. It was rather simplistic, but the main presenter went from being 'a drink away from death' to a fibroscan result of kPa 4, which is very normal - alcoholic cirrhosis kicks in at somewhere between 19 and 23 (maximum = 75). I'm not convinced that this is anything like a usual trajectory, but they spoke to several people who had given up drinking after years of harmful consumption, and whose lives have improved as a result. The gist of the programme was that the trend is for more people to be teetotal than used to be the case, but also that many more younger people are showing up to hospital with acute liver failure. It's just a 30 minute thing, so it may be of interest to people.

Ooh, fruit and nut.@Middlemarch123
I've just had peaches in a light juice.
I love Rachel's Holiday and it's a great pick me up if you are feeling frustrated by not drinking. The over-eater with the loaf is laugh out loud. However buried in a lot of fun are some hard lessons.
I didn't know all addictions were treated the same until I read it but my new acquaintance from the other night could have been a character in that book. The fumes were another thing!

@WendyWagon , I laugh, squirm and get teary at Rachel’s Holiday, poignant because the writer had her struggles. It’s going to be turned into a TV series, hope it does the book justice. Hope you have a good nights rest.

Morning beautiful sober shipmates
I will not drink today,

Morning all. I hope you are OK @wendyWagon. Thanks for the welcomes back.

Sober Saturday, good not to feel hungover x

Morning all. Hope all is going ok @WendyWagon .

Well done for hanging in there @mermadeincornwall

Welcome back @Womanshour

Rachel's Holiday is great @Middlemarch123 . Have you read the follow up, "Again Rachel" ? I looked at it the other day and considered getting it. But still have a big pile of Christmas books to get through.

Have a happy weekend all.

Good morning from the good ship NHS.
I'm a puffing Billy on porridge. I ate so much.
I had a very funny dream about dying (black humor) and they were fighting over my photo for the order of service (they being the DD and DH). The husband once took a very lovely photo of me when at a wedding. I was young and beautiful. Mind you I keep getting asked about my skin and it's a naked as the day I was born. No red lipstick either. Perhaps I'll take up YouTube face demos 'old bat beauty'.
I've sent the son for a pink dressing grown, I'm wearing my late father's and look like a bloke.
No drink here obvs.

Evening all! Hope you're enjoying your Saturday, with all the lovely, precious free time - at very early stage of sobriety so still getting buzzed on being so free to choose how I spend mine, sans alcohol-shackles. I do still feel a trace of guilt & like I've let myself down - it's really odd, like my brain is so used to me being mortified with myself it can't let that go - anyone else had that?

Morning all.
I'm going home today for two weeks and then I need to jump back on the good ship NHS for another op.

I'm full of porridge again but it's more like readybrek.
If I could turn the clock back and remain the vegetarian athlete I was, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Don't be me ladies. Look after yourself and be healthy.
Alcohol is totally unnecessary, good health is a gift, grab it with both hands.

Wendy has another fight in her so I'll wish you all good mental health and a sober Sunday.

Pleased you get some time at home Wendy. I hope the op goes smoothly.

I think that's one of the problems with alcohol, the impact on our health can be silent or at least quiet... slowly creeping up on us.

A lot (not all) of my drinking is quiet, on my own, no one seeing my shame. Of course the next day I feel anxious, tired, getting fatter by the day. But there isn't the big moment of shame and embarrassed to change, and do something else. As humans we aren't very good at making good choices for a longer term gain... the short term is too attractive. But sober Sunday feels good and I slept so well last night. Peri menopause has been interrupting that gift recently!

I am trying not to replace booze with sugar each day this time. (Weekends are anything I need to get through). I want to try and have something tangible that I want to keep from not drinking and weight loss would be good.

But I just feel so bored. I know this stops... but for now I am bored. Booze made the mundane parts of life a bit less mundane like cleaning.

14 days today... one day at a time x

Morning sober shipmates on the good ship Sobriety
Woke up with a migraine, tablets have dulled it right down thankfully.
I will not drink today
Love and kind thoughts to all

Apologies to Wendywagon for not wishing you well
I'm still catching up with this thread and only seeing everyone's news when I skim down the page
Sending propper porrage and propper tea xx

@Womanshour Really well done on your 14 days!

Your story resonates with me. I also had no big 'rock bottom' moment and also much of my drinking was done alone. My kids are grown now and mostly left home, I retired early, my husband is out several nights a week leaving me with the freedom (and a house full of booze) to drink to my heart's content with no accountability except to myself. I totally get what you mean about short term goals ie having a few large glasses of wine, seeming so much more attractive.

I'm still not sure what gave me the push to stop. Beautiful grandchildren maybe? My lovely family? A sudden carpe diem moment? A few minor health scares? Anyway, I've been sober since 5th October and am hoping never to drink again. Life is so much better on the other side, as you know. 🥰. I'm back on a low-carb plan to ditch the sugar.

@WendyWagon So pleased you get to go home for a bit and wishing you every success with your operation.

Thanks @CarrotSeeds well done you, and a sober Christmas, that's something to be really proud of.

My children are school aged, that is my reason I'm setting them a crap example. Life stressful, full time stressful work, children and sometimes parent caring responsibilities wine has been a truly dreadful relax and shut down method.

My resting heart rate has dropped in 2 weeks from high 70s - 90s to high 50s today. The stress effect the wine shut down was actually taking on my body must have been dreadful.

Thank you for confirming it's worth it @CarrotSeeds x

@Womanshour ❤️. I'm also seeing lots of health benefits including changes to blood pressure. Keep going! It's so worth it x

Happy Sunday Sisters

@Womanshour and @CarrotSeeds I took was an at home drinker with no real rock bottom . Just a realisation that I was hurting myself and others in the long-term and that things needed to change.

The boredom thing is real too. Life is so full of responsibility and no real let up and wine is such a socially acceptable way to take a time out.

I remember thinking a few months before quitting, "What I'd really like to do is go upstairs at 7pm, have a long bath and stay up there. In my pyjamas, reading BUT... I can't do that because I have family/household commitments. And I can soldier on while unwinding with a glass of wine instead."
Even now, I tend not to have evening commitments while DH is happy to play sport, meet friends etc.

I no longer miss the wine but there are times when I think, "Is this really it?, is this my life now? Work, and jobs and more jobs, then sleep only to do it all again?"

Hi Lovelies!
@EastCoastDamsel I haven’t read the follow up to Rachel’s Holiday, will add it to my list, thank you for recommending it.
@WendyWagon Glad you are at home, hope your op goes well and you are enjoying lots of Yorkshire tea.

I always feel a bit flat when I’ve clocked up a few sober months. So it resonates with me. This time I’m going to push through it. The Spring will help a lot, I love my garden so I’ve promised myself that however miserable the weather is next week I’m going to get started in the garden. Then I can think about plants for the warmer months.

Love to each and every one of you. Trust Sid is behaving himself @REP22 .

Morning all.
Sorry to those feeling flat with life - it’s so hard at times, and especially in January!

@EastCoastDamsel - you’re doing so well, and it sounds like you might be moving into a new phase of sobriety. When you’ve been sober for a while, it becomes less of a daily battle, but you start to reassess your life. Catherine Grey’s Sunshine Warm Sober is really good on this.

My kids are getting older and need me less (or need me differently) these days, and I no longer have responsibility for my mum, so it’s a strange time. At the moment I’m doing a lot of running, but am aware I may be running away from things!

Morning sober sisters
I will not drink today
Love and kind thoughts to all

@Onewildandpreciouslife my most successful sober stint (nearly 2 years) i ran alot, half and full marathons. And it gave me so much joy, and helped to protect sobriety as I didn't want to ruin the run by being hungover.

Funnily enough that was my thought yesterday, I need to find healthy ways for joy and happiness which won't end up harming me. I went for a slow run and loved it. I think I need that to be part of my sober life x

Morning all.
Up from a sleep in my own bed and two Yorkshire teas.

@EastCoastDamsel @Womanshour i was a middle distance runner in my youth representing good old blighty. DH too but he's done mathrons. It's a very freeing feeling. I love the film "what women want' for the insight into runners.

I'm remaining positive whilst my medics plan my op. At least I'll get a fruit yoghurt at home. Toffee at Chez NHS. Yuck.
Someone sent me wine! Bizzare but to be fair I haven't seen them for a few years. It's gone in the cupboard. It's not an old favourite so I'm safe.

This weather is pants and unless you're sitting next to an open fire reading it's grim. Roll on March.
Keep going my sober sisters.

Unfortunately I have had a blip and I am starting again today. I hope everyone is doing well - hope you al have a great day!

Good morning shipmates - we've made it through another weekend.

Much love to everyone - especially if you are finding it tough at the moment. It will get easier, I promise. Keep going - just for a little bit longer.

Glad you are still fighting @WendyWagon - never give up. You're an inspiration. 💖

I made a big batch of lovely squash soup at the weekend. Very warming - although perhaps a bit too much so - think I was too heavy-handed with the cayenne pepper. Here's young Sid's assessment... cheeky boy.

Strength and love. It will be alright soon. xx

Bad luck @StartingOverIn2025 - try not to beat yourself up too badly. Onwards and forwards. It will be OK. x

You had 13 days of sobriety @StartingOverIn2025, that's great. Today is another day. Stay strong, we are behind you ❤️