The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Placemarking so I can find the thread.

I am on day 20. I have a cold so I’m feeling rubbish. However, I thought my sleep would have improved by now. My skin is definitely better. If I felt amazing, I’d have an easier time of it! I read ‘Sober Mama’ recently which was helpful for time lines and what to expect, but I think it’s a bit of a rehash of Claire Pooley’s book but less posh. I tried reading Claire Pooley’s original blog but it’s a bit thin on the detail for days 1-30. I suppose I just have to get through this but and read more ‘quit lit’ for days 30-100 when I get there?

Hello chums, and thank you to @REP22 for hosting again. Many cuddles to Sid.

I forgot to tell you all that I have a new grandpuppy! I already have my daughter's Frenchie, and how my son has a cocker spaniel. I'd love a dog of my own, but my health isn't up to walks, so it's not a good idea. Maybe one day, if I can get on top of things. Meanwhile, proxydogs are the next best thing.

I am on day 27 of alcohol free and really starting to see the benefits of it. I am planning to stay alcohol free now. I feel I have broken a bad habit that I could easily go back into if I start moderating etc.

Thank you @REP22 for leading us again. And to the gorgeous Sid. I really appreciate the love and support you give to us all on this thread. 🐾❤️

Congratulations @ShyMaryEllen Very exciting! Dogs are the best.

@SmellyMe I'm not the best sleeper anyway and my sleep is still erratic but so much better than when I was drinking. No hangovers for one thing and no 3am palpitations. Poor sleep sober is so much easier to handle than poor sleep when drinking IMO. Hope you recover from your cold soon.

We are settling down in the CarrotSeeds household for the final of The Traitors. Just love Claudia so much!! Both my husband and I have an alcohol free G&T at the ready!

In terms of Quit Lit, I listened to loads the first 6 weeks or so but now I am really tired of it. It helped in the beginning but now seems quite repetitive. I still have a few quit lit books to read on Audible but prefer listening to my murder mysteries and thrillers instead. 🕵️‍♀️ 🔍

Have a great weekend everyone. X

@CarrotSeeds good points! I’m surprised at how much more functional I am. What I was putting down to the fatigue of life - kids, work, etc - was mostly caused by booze and its after effects.

Good evening all. Just marking my place.

Welcome @SmellyMe and @Fundays12 .

Sorry to hear about you insurance woes @ShyMaryEllen I have also had a big fight with our insurance company. Too boring to go inso but suffice to say I did not renew and sought cover elsewhere.

Windy Up North today so poor dogs didn't a walk in.
Burns night tomorrow and DH bought a giant Haggis home in the week, so guess we'll be eating that then.

Love and strength to all

Morning my beautiful sober sisters
Thank you for the shiny new thread, it's like the first day of term
I will not drink today
Love and kind thoughts to all

Morning all.
Another straight 8 hour sleep.

I had some smashing haddock from Waitrose yesterday and a blood orange sanpellecrino. I've actually eaten my food.

The BFF came to visit this week and it turns out she had the same surgeon as me over a decade ago down at our private hospital. She has an appalling diet (little fruit and veg bar spuds) but she's still here so I'm basing my forward thinking on that. She's also a big drinker at times.
I do need to move to a more accessible home but I'm not a fan of bungalows. They are also very expensive around our way. I'm still hankering after a cottage with a downstairs bedroom. Perhaps something will turn up at Easter?
Quiet weekend I hope.
Love to all. X

Morning all.
Checking in to the new thread - thank you @REP22 x

Welcome @SmellyMe and @Fundays12 - glad you’ve found us.

My sleep took a long time to turn around @SmellyMe but it will get there in the end.

Sorry to hear you’re so poorly @WendyWagon - look after yourself

Morning all. I’ve got my first night out with friends this evening. I’ve told one friend I won’t be drinking and she’s being supportive, so I’m feeling confident about today at least. I’ll report back tomorrow.

That's great @ThatWasShh Best of luck for this evening. I found it was good to tell people I had stopped drinking. I didn't make a song and dance about it, just said I was having a break. Nobody questioned it.

I think maybe booze is such a big noise in our own heads that we anticipate EVERYONE commenting on us not drinking but to loads of people alcohol is no big deal anyway. So they don't really pay much attention!! 😊

Morning all! Thanks @REP22 for the new thread - I just sneaked in to the old one. I hope you have a lovely evening @ThatWasShh As others have said, most people won’t notice that you’re not drinking, and it’s up to you whether you say anything about it. If they’re good friends they will be supportive, and if not - then you don’t need to care what they think! One thing I’ve found useful in social situations (in previous iterations of sobriety - I’ve not yet had any social situations this time) is to have an escape plan. Just in case I would feel uncomfortable/awkward/craving. I would set a time to leave in my head, make sure I could get home independently - not rely on a lift - and see how it went. At first I didn’t generally want to stay out much longer than an hour, but it depended on who I was with, what sort of evening it was etc. But I gave myself permission in advance not to have to stay out longer than what I felt comfortable with. I’m glad you’re feeling a little better @WendyWagon I love the blood orange San Pelegrino too!

Just book marking and catching up 👋

A new thread already - wowser!! I'm so glad so many people are finding the threads as helpful as I did / do.

I don't post as often these days but I lurk. Day 1077 (just had to check as I still count my days!!)

Feels good to have made it to another thread... another milestone, hope everyone is good xx

88 days for me today

Day 31 for me.
Feeling so much better for it and I've had little to no cravings.
I think going on fluoxetine since beginning of Jan has also been a big help.
Is anyone going to get any health checks from the Dr after abstaining from booze? I think I am going to wait until day 90. I'm losing 2lb a week at the moment through clean diet and exercise. By the time I reach the 3month mark I should be at my goal weight x

Thank you for the new thread @REP22. Congratulations to all those adding sober days.

Last night was a hard one. Made it to day 20. Tonight is easier. One day at a time x

Just checking in to say the evening was fine. A group of women right by us were drinking a bottle of Prosecco, which I found myself looking at. I could have done without that to be honest. But it’s one of the things I’ll have to get used to and be able to deal with, so I guess it was useful to start learning about the potential challenges ahead.

Morning all
Welcome to another hangover free Sunday- never stops being a joy!
Wow @sugarytea2024 - 88 days is great work.
Well done on your night out @ThatWasShh - you’ve ticked it off your list of “firsts” and it will get easier. And we’ve all been the ones with the bottle of Prosecco, and look where that got us!

Lovely clear skies here this morning- off for a long run before the clouds come!

Morning beautiful inspirational shipmates
I will not drink today
Love and kind thoughts to all

Morning everyone, I’m not sure if I’m allowed here as I’m still drinking, but I want today to be day 1 of not drinking.

I find you all so strong and if I’m held accountable I know I can do it. seeing people on this thread who’ve enjoyed a night out alcohol free is inspiring.

My drinking started to ramp up in lock down, and I’d say I’m between 30-50 units a week now. I’m otherwise fit and healthy, and I love sport but it’s really starting to affect my ability (I play netball for quite a good team). I also have a full on job but find the post alcohol fatigue really affects me.

I'm 40 this year and know I need to start being more responsible with my health. I’m going to have a read of some of the previous threads as I see books and advice is mentioned! I will get some orange pellegrino in for tonight as well, I’m not going to buy beer today (always my starter drink, if I don’t have it in I won’t touch the spirits in the house).

Morning all.
Damp here.
Big sleep had so two teas down.

Now this is nuts but I had another gift of wine yesterday!
The DH signed for it. It went straight in the cupboard. Very odd because the lady knows I'm due in hospital next week.
Not the slightest bit tempted even from a 'f*ck it' I'm on my way out perspective.
I have to say the DH was fuming. He said what's wrong with your friends.
However I managed to cook a curry and it didn't seem to irritate the gallbladder.
Hoorah. If I have to give up cheese I'm not giving up my curry.

Have a peaceful day all.

@Motharunner your very welcome here. Everyone has to start somewhere. It's day 29 for me so I am fairly new in this journey to.

@WendyWagon I can see your DH point but maybe your friend thought it would be for a much later date?

Day 29 for me. Unfortunately I haven't been well on and off for weeks so I haven't got to experience the full benefits of being AF though I can see some. For those that have been out for big nights out how do you handle it? I don't go out much so it won't often come up but I know it will do. I often go for meals with a friend but drive then which works for both me and her as I save taxis money and she enjoys a glass of rosé with her dinner but has a medical condition that means she struggles to walk so I can drop her home or to the bus station. I enjoy the cinema to but wouldn't drink there anyway. I like to work out but my health has made it difficult recently.

Morning, welcome @Motharunner

It's cold and I have a bit of a headache so I am hiding in bed.