The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

Hello,

I’d like to join please. I’m a daily drinker that likes to think it’s not a problem -but I know it is.

I’m so much happier when I don’t drink at all. I’m aiming for a dry July.

Good luck, @dylexicdementor11 - most of us approached AF with trepidation to say the least, and even the most sceptical of us has found so many positives to a sober life.

These threads have been brilliant support, so I hope you find them so as well.

@dylexicdementor11 welcome.
I found it useful to break the journey down,
One week, three weeks, a month then 100 days. At 100 days I felt hugely different.

Thanks so much. I was AF for two year when I was pregnant and LO was little and I loved it.
I think admitting that I think my drinking is a problem will help me change. I look forward to following this thread.

Morning all!

Thank you for the new thread and hello 👋 to any newbies. I am fairly new to the thread myself.

Day 51 for me.

Thanks for the new thread @WendyWagon
Happy Sunday everyone. I'm 200 days AF tomorrow 🙂.

Welcome and good luck ,@dylexicdementor11

Thank you fir the new thread @WendyWagon , I recently joined at the end of the last one.
Day 62 for me and it's been ok so far I think.
Read somewhere online though, that day 60 ish can get tough but couldn't make much sense as to why that would be ? Hoping someone else might know !!

Hi… Please can I join? I am not an alcoholic, but I have severe heart failure. There is no safe alcohol consumption with the heart meds I’m taking. I’d rather not test the theory. Positive take is that I might find it easier to shift the post menopausal belly…. It’s just a bummer that alcohol is such a constant topic of conversation and is everywhere when socializing. Btw, I haven’t had alcohol for a few weeks, and was never a big drinker, but DH is still drinking and I never noticed how much money is being spent on wine before. (We live in Aus and it’s $$$) he can’t open a bottle and go to bed unless it’s all gone.)

@CelieandNettie hello
@Fraaahnces welcone

I couldn't open a bottle and not drink the lot, ditto the spare in the cupboard. That's booze bingo.
I'll try to link a few more PPs as I go along but there's something odd with my phone.

I re read my last hosting stint from April 23 and good God I'm not the same person. I was quite anxious.
I also think I'm happier not hiding my stash or covering up my drinking. My hidey hole was our old sports car, one poster used the hedge (not the same person as the poor lady with the hedge shaggers in MN classics).

Looking forward to dog pictures and late night raves re booze pushers and 'just the one Jonnies'.

@shymaryellen
@rothbury

New thread

Thanks for the tag @WendyWagon

I went to the theatre yesterday, with lunch first. It was a matinee performance. I had a glass of water with my tapas, and remembered when it would have been 2 large glasses of red, I would have been tired throughout the play and needing the loo by the interval, then ready to stop off at a bar on the way home. It was much nicer watching comfortable and sober, and not breathing fumes on the bus.

@ShyMaryEllen hello.nice to hear from you.
Congrats on the sober outing. The on the way home stopping at the shop was a classic of many of us

Yes, once I’d had a taste of it I always wanted more.

It’s been seven years since those days, but I know how easy it would be to slip back. I have a whole new life now - still some friends from back then, but mostly new ones who don’t question my not drinking. I prefer it like this.

@ShyMaryEllen
I have made new friends too.
I think I may have put people off with the 'Sir Les' persona.
I also find people more interesting.
Funnily enough one of the rudest people I have met since sober was a woman at AA. She was the leader that day and hostile. I never went back.

Place marking with interest, particularly post detox changes.

Day 55 AF.

To those who are wanting to do a dry July, here's my tuppence worth.

A month isn't long enough to feel the true benefits. I did Dry January every year (easily and successfully) but I always, always ended up drinking more than before. Never less. A month off never "reset my relationship with alcohol" or made me miraculously able to moderate. In fact it gave me a false sense of security. Alcoholics can't stop for a month can they? So clearly I wasn't an alcoholic.

I'd say it took a good 90 days before I really began to see AF life as an actual reality.

I hope I don't sound too negative of dismissive. Every AF journey starts with a day and a week and a month. Some people succeed by telling themselves it's only for the month and they carry on, some people are able to successfully moderate after a month off. I certainly didn't think the 13th February 2022 was the last time I'd ever drink (too final, too scary, too much pressure) . I joined these threads at day 40 and I was still ambivalent then about whether I'd be AF or just have an extended period of sobriety but somewhere around the magic 100 days my mindset shifted and I went from ambivalent sobriety to determined and committed sobriety.

Best of luck to all those starting the journey. You are doing a very brave thing. And to those already on the path, keep going. Keep strong, keep sober ❤️

@Crunchymum thank you for your wise words.

I was similar....but actually never did a whole month 😬. There was always a reason I had to have a day off or finish a bit early or start a bit later.

This is not my first attempt at quitting. Probably upwards of my 10th! This is the first time I feel as if I'm accepting it. I do need to be on my guard though as I know my weakness is to forget and remember the fun times and also joining in because my friends are drinking etc.

Will be posting here if I feel like pushing the fuck it button at any point if you all don't mind 💐

Hi all. I want to start with a dry July. I think I'm drinking too much. I am permanently stressed and a single parent. The idea of being AF terrifies me as I actually don't think I would be able to have fun or relax without it?
I am on day 2 of no alcohol, I've started Mounjaro weightloss Jab as I am overweight, probably due to my wine consumption. I read that this injection may help with my wine cravings.
I am not sure that I could ever be AF - but I am determined to see July through with no booze to start with. I drink most evenings, I wish I didn't. X

Hi all.
I’ve been on a different thread but it’s people trying to moderate and I don’t feel it’s very helpful for me.
I’ve been a huge drinker for over 25 years- mostly home/sole drinking (DH is tee total). My issue is that I love the taste and I’m very into food and cooking etc, so it’d be a drink or two while cooking, a good wine with whatever I’d cooked and then likely something or two on the sofa afterwards. Every single day.
My children were suffering as I’d resent their evening commitments if I had to drive, not to mention my lack of energy.
I began to be scared of every health issue that came up as I’d immediately suspect it was my body giving up due to the alcohol.
I am unable to moderate- ‘only special occasions’ doesn’t work for me as every day had a reason as it was a stressful day, a happy day… or just a boring Monday… always a reason.
So I went cold turkey on NYE- haven’t had a drop since 2023.
I’ve more energy. My skin is better. I’m sleeping 574367 times better! I’d like to have lost more weight, but I have certainly shifted some cravings onto dark chocolate, so that’s something to work on.
I don’t generally miss the alcohol tbh, but there are certain times when I’d kill for that glass of red. I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss it.
I’m also bored a lot… I didn’t realise that drinking alcohol filled so much time!
Anyway, hi everyone. I think I’m trying to be sober for ever.

@Jomummy1013 @PissPotPourri
Welcome.

I can relate to both of your histories.
I had become obese. BMI 42. I was due a gastric sleeve. Now 2 1/2 years on I am five stone lighter. I can't have the jab either although I believe it is being tested against alcohol dependancy.

I was a taxi to one DC and also resented the commitment to lifts. I'm a copper's daughter so I never risked it. My DC who are now in their twenties hated my drinking.
I use to contribute to a moderation thread but the confessions were too triggering for me although they were lovely ladies. We all find our tribe.
I am never bored because I read alot. I also watch films, most of which I fell asleep during my drinking days and missed the ending!
Folks on here run, knit, swim and angry weed this time of year.
Anyhow good luck and well done.

Hi all,

Hi @Jomummy1013, @PissPotPourri and all other newbies x

I'm about 2 months AF now.

I'm in my 50s. Had lots of attempts to moderate, not drink during the week, only drink at when entertaining clients, not in the house, only Fri & Sat... did Dry Jan successfully a few times.

Always ended up back drinking at least a bottle of wine, at least 3 or 4 times a week, much more on holidays, high days and celebrations.

Every time, I realised I was not happy drinking, it wasn't doing me any good, and ultimately, life would be better all round if I was AF.

So now I am. So far it's been pretty easy, with a few blips around 'I'm bored', or 'I'm boring'.

But at the moment, I've realised I'm neither of those things - having posted with this group a few times to get an outside opinion!

@Jomummy1013 - you asked about 'having fun' (I think). I think almost all of us have been there. Our lives and social lives are part of a drinking culture. If we cut that out, where do we fit in?

The happy answer is, ultimately, we do find a life for ourselves where we fit in even more than we did before. It's not instant, and it's part of the process.

But we've all been there. Once of the great things I've learned from the fabulous women in this group is, actually, I'm not special! Loads of people 'just love wine'. 'Just can't stop once they've started'. 'love drinking with friends'. 'are all or nothing kind of people' 'drink to relax, calm down, get through'.

We all have a mix of similarities that make us 'normal'.

And we are all pretty darn wonderful
Good luck on your journeys.

Good evening all. Thanks for the advice. I certainly found that past dry challenges only served to reassure me that I didn't have a problem. Though, deep.diwn I knew that waking up at 3am, riddled with anxiety was not normal. Or resenting having to drive the kids to things in the evening or keeping a really close eye on who's turn it was to drive was not normal. @Crunchymum

Welcome @Jomummy1013 , @PissPotPourri and any other newbies to the thread I might have missed.

I have had a difficult day. Spending lots of time in the car with MIL and then slap up lunch with everyone getting stuck.in to the booze and talking utter nonsense.

I didn't really want to drink but was just so so bored.

Anyway run this event and off to have along hot bath

Bookmarking - thanks for the new Fred @WendyWagon

Day 239 for me… prior to that did 100 days, tried to moderate, you know how that goes….

I am grateful for this new sober life. It’s not always easy. But it’s better, it’s peaceful, it’s calm, and I feel grounded and happier. The hard stuff is still there, but I deal with it better sober. I know I am also a much better Mum now and I am really showing something positive to my kids and I am proud of that. They are a huge motivating factor. I can’t change the past but I can learn from it and do better. It’s all we can do, keep on keeping on and not be too hard on ourselves.

This thread is great support. I don’t post
much but I read it most days and appreciate the honesty, openness, sharing and wisdom on here. Thank you.

i did a 10 mile run today as training for the Great North Run. Exhausted but feeling great. Drinking me would not have bounced out of bed to do that. It really does feel like a new shot at life sometimes.