The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

Wow @Itsrainingten 200 days! That's fantastic. 🏆Absolutely brilliant.

Welcome @Carpediem15 - and top stuff on your day 2. It's not easy but it will be worth it. I found Clare Pooley's "The Sober Diaries" very helpful in confronting the wine witch - wine was her go-to of choice. Sadly you will feel a bit like shit as it all comes out of your system. I'm sorry. But it won't ALWAYS be shit - soon it will start to feel better. Lots of friendly voices here who understand. Sorry to hear about your husband - I hope there's better times ahead there. xx

Hey All,

Hey @Carpediem15 @Souredgrapes @Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime @dylexicdementor11 @flucloxacillin and anyone else I've missed.

Welcome welcome. I've been hanging out with these ladies for two months, and it's been incredible.

I've also been hanging out on the alcohol support board in general, and try to give any help I can. but I do find the goal of Alcohol-free life threads suit me more (as I'm not a moderator - tried that - many times, didn't work - many times.).

I read the Sober Diaries by Claire Pooley - really resonated with me - written as fiction, very readable, but actually based on her real life.

I also read Alcohol Explained - still re-read it, actually. Great for the science behind why alcohol makes us feel like it does, why we are drawn to it, why we think it helps, but actually it makes almost every situation worse (when you over drink or become dependent).

I've listened to the Sober Awkward and F*cking Sober podcasts. They were interesting to me in the first 'find all the info I possibly can' and then drop it like it's hot phase - many of us on here are ADHD and/or have ADHD traits, it's apparently very common for people with ADHD to over-drink (no shit!).

What I will say is that the women I've met through the AF and Alcohol Support threads generally are pretty incredible. Lots of over-achievers, lots of people supporting their families, being solo parents, being carers, being the driving force, being the fixer in the family and much more. Being someone who used alcohol to take the edge of anxiety, stress, pressure and life in general is nothing to be ashamed of.

So I'm glad you found this thread. I've loved it and the amazing women who started it and keep it going. Welcome to your AF journey!

Thanks so much for the warm welcome and for all of the helpful advice and sharing of journeys.

I drink (or used to drink) to stop my brain going at a mile a minute and also to deal with social anxiety. I’m on sertraline now and it has helped me feel so much better. I don't think I need to self medicate anymore, but old habits die hard!

This time of day is the hardest for me. I would normally open a bottle of wine while cooking promising my self I’d limit it to a glass or two. I just can’t self regulate.

my plan is to take the dog out after dinner just to break the habit. Being accountable to all of you helps me feel able to do it. Thanks.

Day 2!

@dylexicdementor11 after work was (is) my witching hour too! I certainly have found that taking myself off for a dog walk/run in the evening has massively helped.

My 1st today is flying. Have navigated the airport and lounge AF so free and accepted an orange juice so far.

Have been pleasantly surprised that the menu includes mocktails! (Don't remember that from last time I flew business. But then I wouldn't have been paying attention to such things then)

That's flipping fantastic, @EastCoastDamsel - I'm delighted they have mocktails on the menu - definitely progress 👏👏👏

@dylexicdementor - I've become a big fan of AF beers. I know some programmes don't agree with Alcohol alternatives in case they trigger a real drink, but I don't have that issue and they've been fantastic for me early evening, especially in the early days.

@Itsrainingten 👏👏👏👏👏👏

200 days is just amazing 🤩

@dylexicdementor11 i have a AF Gordon's and tonic. If I have two I need a wee in the night so just a warning.
Tastes special to me but I never drank gin. I like a Smashed lager too.

Thanks for the welcome. Am in bed with a cup of tea. Radio on and dog snoring.

Thanks for the welcome. At the moment I don't think I could have a non alcoholic G & T or similar, too tempting I would think.

I'm joining for support.
I drink every day and hate it

Morning all.
Checking in at 64 days now.
Realised my last real break from alcohol was when I was pregnant with youngest DS. He's now 21 and the most I've ever achieved is 3 weeks before caving.
Had a moment of realisation this morning - had an endoscopy a few years ago for acid reflux. Whilst waiting for the results all I could think of was "please don't tell me I can't drink again", I spent days worrying that they'd say I'd have to give up alcohol - looking back what an utter waste of brain space !!

Well done to everyone on this journey

Morning! Checking in Day 31..survived flying and it is amazing how well I slept on the plane and how good I feel this morning. 🤩

Next hurdle dinner with old uni friends tonight. They're not big drinkers but not really sure I am ready to explain anything to them.

That's such a powerful realisation, @CelieandNettie - and so relatable.

Alcohol is so pervasive, we think that not being able to drink is a tragedy. People would pity us!

Great to hear, @EastCoastDamsel - that's hard core, saying no to the business class service 👏

What do you think you might tell your friends?

Morning all - went to the theatre last night. Was so much better not being half asleep after interval drinks!
Got back late, expecting to be feeling fresh this morning. While I obviously feel very pleased not to be hungover I'm very annoyed to say I have MADLY watery sore red eyes. I've had this before after a late night a few times and always assumed it must be alcohol related but for once it isn't! It must be something else. I'm so annoyed. I have a big work networking event today and I'm not actually sure how I'm going to cope. Aagghh. At least I'm not feeling spaced out and shaky and nauseous too I guess.

I dunno @NextPhaseOfLife . Might just say I am doing Dry July. At least I have a full 30 days under my belt already (they don't need to know that though!)

Will try to read the room.

That's bloody annoying @Itsrainingten

Have you got any antihistamines, worth a shot?

Wow! 200 days congratulations @Itsrainingten!

I had the hardest weekend of cravings for a long time. This busy thread has really helped, thanks all, the reminders about day 1 reasons and those who have managed to build longer sober journeys reminding about the reasons to keep going. Thank you all you've really helped.

Of course the cravings are actually that I feel totally overwhelmed and I remember how much alcohol made that worse, (the shit sleep, increased anxiety, shame etc etc.)

Thank you @WendyWagon for doing such a fab job with a busy thread.

I think I need a new drink in the evenings. I don't like kombucha and don't want Af alternatives. Currently I have trip, happy for other cbd drinks or just something else any recommendations?

Well done on the flight @EastCoastDamsel ! I find it very interesting observing people drinking on the plane - the rise and fall of noise.

That’s annoying about your eyes @Itsrainingten , but at least you know it’s not self inflicted!

I think I’m settling into my holiday groove now - it’s taken a couple of days but that’s ok. Poor DH is sleeping very badly because he’s drinking every day - because he’s on holiday and that’s what you do, right? But that’s kicking off his night time anxiety.

I’ve had my morning coffee and am sat by myself in a little cove watching fish leap out of the water. Sober holidays really are magic.

Morning All . I’m checking in . Reading everything . This a great thread . Thanks.

@Womanshour i like a ginger beer ( the old jamaican light fiery one) with loads of ice and a squeeze of fresh lime.

sorry you are struggling. these things will pass.

@Onewildandpreciouslife thank you for the holiday post. sounds magic indeed. i go on hols next week - first one sober- am worried.

@WendyWagon our wonderful captain of the ship - just thank you

@Itsrainingten sorry about your eyes how annoying on a day you have big work stuff. power to you.

@EastCoastDamsel good luck with uni friends. i had one recently with huge boozer group. they were hammered. most of them ended up telling me they drink too much!

strength to all new to the thread. we are with you.

Don't know if this qualifies but I have a vertigo condition PPPD which makes one feel dizzy and off balance with walking or ''doing'' anything - like one is drunk. Any alcohol seems to make it worse - so do not drink at all now. I have several bottles of good wine untouched for years - but would not wish the condition on anyone. Doctors are not helpful. Anxiety is a common factor.

Hey @ponzusoup - think we are AF day twins (or almost).

Is it nearly your holiday already? That's come around so fast.