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Alcohol support

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The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

981 replies

WendyWagon · 30/06/2024 08:50

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

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WendyWagon · 01/07/2024 09:15

@flucloxacillin you haven't offended anyone I'm sure.
Back in the day we use to have a few posters who wrote about their alcohol compsumption the night before. I can remember the fall out. A few of the fold had been triggered and the original crew put a stern warning up. We do have posters with severe addiction issues. Not just a few bottles, people that are on medical pathways. They post because it is anonymous and even at AA and SMART you have to 'confess' all to the group. It's humbling when you hear their stories.
We try to help everyone. We're just a bunch of past boozers although we do have medical people, many lawyers and other professionals.
Lots of us are addictive types. As shymaryellen (a vet) says CBD drinks have low levels of the chill factor. I'm not up for them myself and they'd interfere with my meds. Some might choose to try them.
Good luck with your first month. It does get easier. X

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WendyWagon · 01/07/2024 09:25

@Fraaahnces well done so far.
My family are too in love with the booze. Not my DC and DH who hate it but my siblings and past aunts and uncles.

We had a few who could bet on two flies running up a wall!

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Souredgrapes · 01/07/2024 09:52

Please may I join . I’m thinking of trying AA but it’s not really somewhere I think I will be comfortable . I need support. I’ve reached out the medical services in the past but I feel I’m deemed not bad enough. I am bad enough as I drink at least 3 bottles of wine a week , 3 being a good week , it’s often more. Currently trying to not drink mid week but the first hour through the door after work is hard . I often end up shouting at someone because I’m so frustrated that I don’t have a drink to hand . I hate being drunk and yet here I am doing it over and over . Why?

WendyWagon · 01/07/2024 10:10

Welcome @Souredgrapes

I use to drink 5-7 bottles a week. I could claim not every night because I drank two or so on Friday and Saturday.
More if out and about.
You'll find a wealth of experience here.

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REP22 · 01/07/2024 10:45

Good morning all, thank you for the tag @WendyWagon - it's good to have you at the helm.

I think I will have to procure some cherries later. Slimming World friendly and mighty tasty. Finding it a bit easier to resist temptation. Bedtimes are a bit challenging still, but a glass of chocolate milkshake is my own particular vice.

Love and strength to you all. Keep going - you can do it. xx

ShyMaryEllen · 01/07/2024 11:19

Long post alert - takeaway is 'we are all different', so you don't need to read the rest, but I found total abstinence so much easier than moderation. Over the years I tried so many 'regimes' - not drinking two nights in a row, only drinking when there's a 'reason' (yeah, a reason like fancying a drink), some daft thing about tipping a glass out of each bottle down the sink (I know🙄), pre-selecting three days from every week and only drinking on those days. Obviously none of them worked. In fact, trying to stick to pointless rules just made things worse, as they involved thinking about it all, or writing things down.

Personally, I hate rules and structure😂. I'm very definitely likely to rebel against anything that seems like a pointless restriction of my freedom to do harmful things. It's like I'm stuck at the 14 year old stage. There were so many rules growing up, with consequences for breaking them that they make me anxious. For me, it was so much simpler just to accept that I don't drink (made easier by believing that I would die if I did - that's a serious motivator!) and that was that. No 'can I drink on Tuesday this week?' 'Does continuing drinking after midnight count as drinking on both days or just the one when I poured the first glass?' 'As I've poured a glass out of the first bottle, is that it, or do I also have to pour one out of the second? Or the third?' All of that obsessing meant thinking about alcohol, as was reading 'quit lit', which I also hated. AA would definitely not have worked for me for the same reason. Going somewhere specifically to talk about alcohol when I was trying hard not to think about alcohol just seems counterproductive to me.

But that's the important thing - we are all different. AA clearly does work for many people. Quit lit sells in huge quantities, and people obviously get a lot out of it. Rules keep some people sane. Mostly, I just crack on and leave others to do their thing unless it's harming me. I'm not talking about general tolerance - I'm no Dalai Lama and can be as crabby as the next old bat - but when it comes to what works surrounding sobriety, I don't think there are lines in the sand. Some people disapprove of AF drinks, but they made (and still make) life easier for me. It doesn't bother me if people drink around me, or talk about doing so. I used to be vegetarian, and it didn't get upset when people talked about the delicious steak they had the night before. I don't even care when people bore on about football - maybe I am the Dalai Lama?🤔. To me it's the same principle.

The only thing I can remember that I did find harmful was on another board that's closed now. The rule was 'no judgement', which is great, but it was translated to 'pretend that it's ok to lapse so long as you admit it'. The structure was that there were forums for each stage of the journey, and you moved up when you hit a milestone and posted in the relevant bit as well as the 'whole board' forums. People used to be stuck on the 'early days' section for years. They'd come on and talk about how they'd been unable to resist a delicious chilled glass of white then drank four bottles, and everyone would empathise and welcome them back with hugz and sympathy every time. In itself, that's fine (most of us try and fail several times before it finally sticks - I certainly did), but it reached the point where in order to feel included you had to have a few 'lapses' behind you, and it wasn't really a 'quit' forum at all - it was a 'boozers who wish they didn't drink' one, and that didn't work for me. I had to stay away until I passed that stage and joined in the next one up, where the more serious attempts were being made. People still lapsed, but it felt more like real lapses, not attention-seeking. Saying 'oh never mind, just this once won't do any harm' a hundred times to people with medical issues was irresponsible. It wasn't 'just once' - it was every Saturday night so it would do harm, and others who were really struggling to stay sober had to read it. Anyway, maybe that approach helped others, but it didn't work for me.

*All of this is a long-winded way of saying that we all have to find our own approach and stick to it.

ponzusoup · 01/07/2024 11:50

@ShyMaryEllen you ARE the dalai lama 😍

agree that genuine lapse during serious sober journey is different to pre contemplation of sobriety. both are crucial stages but are definitely different mindsets requiring different strategies and support.

but please please know that this thread is genuinely no judgement. i'm a relative newbie and these long termers have kept me feeling safe by protecting this threads authenticity.

i'm thinking of you {mention:ShyMaryEllen}@REP22@WendyWagon @Onewildandpreciouslife @threeandmeandthedog @Blackberryblossom and no doubt others i've forgotten at this moment.

ponzusoup · 01/07/2024 11:51

and @REP22 and her marvellous dog!

ponzusoup · 01/07/2024 11:51

some names joined together there. soz. am posting between work meetings.

REP22 · 01/07/2024 12:52

Wise words @ShyMaryEllen. I'm not sure which thread you refer to, but it doesn't sound helpful. There's a long running thread I'm on elsewhere, where one of the "regulars" clearly has quite a profound issue. It's been quiet for a while, but there were spates of very long, incoherent posts appearing very late at night, early AM, sometimes with graphic photos, which would then be withdrawn by the poster or removed by MN due to breaking their guidelines. It was hard to read. There's another thread, on a site a long way away from MN, where a current poster is gleefully describing their serious assault on paramedics attending their home. Coming days after their assault on nurses and security staff at hospital. And they are getting multiple "poor you", "stand firm", "we're with you" type responses. As someone with close family who work in the NHS - and have been assaulted by patients - it's upsetting.

All that having said, I have had a couple of falls from grace and people on this thread have been so kind and understanding. I would never presume to post here whilst drunk/drinking though. The thought of having to account for myself to the friends on this thread is often what has stopped me from falling prey to temptation.

@flucloxacillin (Nice user name - Flucloxacillin has served me well when I was seriously ill in hospital (not booze related!)) and @Souredgrapes and all newbies - welcome from me.🙂 I don't underestimate how difficult it is to examine one's drinking and think "I might have a problem here" - and then to go on and look for advice and support. It's a brave step.

For myself, I tried AA and it wasn't really my cup of tea, though the blue book they gave me was helpful in the early days. I did SMART recovery, which I did find helpful. The books "The Sober Diaries" by Clare Pooley and "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" by Catherine Grey (and her follow-up "Sunshine Warm Sober") were invaluable to me. Mostly, I got sober for my dog. She deserved better than drunk me. Sadly, and in a supreme twist of cruel fate, she died one month after I was discharged from the addiction support service (where I did SMART recovery). I have a new(ish) four-legged sidekick now - so I keep going for him. Here he is, in a rare moment of quiet reflection. He's worth staying clean for.

Strength and love to you all, new or otherwise. We get it, we understand. It might not be easy but it WILL - always - be worth it. xx

The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.
WendyWagon · 01/07/2024 12:54

Thank you for the post @ShyMaryEllen
I remember that thread. The bottle plus g&t queens.
I too thought I was going to die and I was so unhappy I didn't care. I had signed up for weight loss surgery and my BFF said it won't work if you are still drinking like you are now. A posh bottle of wine can be 900 calories x7. Two pounds on a week.
It shocked me to be honest and plenty of people just laughed and said I couldn't do it.
My son cried, my husband had heard it before.
So how do you solve a problem like Wendy? With kindness. Tbh people were not very nice to me.
I had a reputation as a litigation fiend. I'd fight with words. Funnily enough my friend's husband said last week I gave off fu*k off vibes. Self protection along with my best mate the booze. When you been bullied as a child you roll over or fight back.
When drinking it numbed the pain but the health conditions were stacking up.
The acid had ruined my beautiful teeth and I was seriously obese. Again not my problem blah blah blah.
Come a big fight with my sister I decided to give up the grog. I didn't want her saying it was because I was a drunk. I also wanted to give my baby brother a kidney. You'd be shocked by the amount of people who told me I could give up the sobriety when he died. For me I thought oh hell but for the grace of God go I.
I struggle every day but I keep going. I don't want to be fat again as I was so ashamed. Ditto my shenanigans. The stuff of legend. Some funny mostly not.
This thread saved me through toxic bosses, stalkers and house dilemmas. It's been my sanctuary.
Everyone is welcome.

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ShyMaryEllen · 01/07/2024 12:57

Nobody on here is in a position to judge anyone else. We've all been through it, and drunken experiences are always remarkably similar, even if our lives are different. I can't imagine much that anyone could say on here that wouldn't chime with me. If I didn't know I'd had the same experience I'd be prepared to admit that I might have just 'forgotten', or that it was just circumstance that had prevented it. And anyway, the chances are that I'll have had different experiences that on a scale of 1-10 would rank the same in terms of embarrassment, guilt, shame or stupidity. It goes with the territory, doesn't it?

ShyMaryEllen · 01/07/2024 13:00

I'm not talking about a thread on Mumsnet. I used to be in a group called Bright Eye, which was really helpful when I stopped drinking, but it has closed now. I was talking about that. It was great for information about liver issues, (which I scrutinised madly), for finding out about things like PAWS, or withdrawal, but the way 'non-judgement' spilled into enabling drinking just wasn't for me.

WendyWagon · 01/07/2024 13:03

@ShyMaryEllen ah. I didn't know that group.

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REP22 · 01/07/2024 13:16

Absolutely no judgement from me either. We are all on common ground, whatever routes brought us here. ❤

Souredgrapes · 01/07/2024 13:22

I remember Bright Eye. Must have been 2010 ish maybe earlier. That’s how long I’ve known my drinking is a problem. I too put a lot of weight on . I was fortunate enough to be able to take saxander for 6 months and I have lost a lot of weight. What was amazing is that it not only shut down the food chatter in my head , it also shut down the alcohol cravings , it was an amazing release and I genuinely thought I had cracked sobriety. Sadly not , because here I am , after another night of no sleep and feeling like an absolute failure of a human being .

REP22 · 01/07/2024 13:23

@Souredgrapes . Bless you, you're not a failure. It will be alright soon - keep going. x

BigFatSoberLife · 01/07/2024 13:48

@REP22 Your dog is beautiful! What a handsome fella.

@souredgrapes hello 👋. You are not a failure and no judgement from me.

I'm so happy to have found this thread.

Checking in - Day 52 today

PS: I have also gained a lot of weight. Hoping sobriety will help with that and it definitely is already helping me find energy to exercise more and eat more fruit and less crap! Even if I don't lose weight (which i need to), I'm healthier sober.

Onewildandpreciouslife · 01/07/2024 14:06

Welcome @Souredgrapes. I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad. Plenty of water and kindness to yourself today.

As to the why: it’s just alcohol doing what it’s supposed to do, I’m afraid. I found Annie Grace very helpful on this - I started with the Alcohol Experiment, which is a 30 day course which unpicks our beliefs about alcohol. I used the book rather than the online offering; to avoid the follow-up emails!

EastCoastDamsel · 01/07/2024 14:15

@Souredgrapes

Just to echo @Onewildandpreciouslife . I found Annie Grace hugely helpful. I just listened to This Naked Mind audiobook and it clicked for me.

Found the chapters on The Drinker or The Drink really really helpful. Helped me to forgive myself 🙂.

(I have also gained loads of weight really quicky in the last year. I was blaming peri-menopause but deep down I know it really was the escalating booze consumption)

Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime · 01/07/2024 15:13

I would like to join you please. Have been using alcohol to avoid feelings. But it just makes everything worse
have today e mailed a counsellor. These feelings need to be dealt with

REP22 · 01/07/2024 15:29

Hello @Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime welcome. I used drink to avoid/remove negative feeling and emotions too. Sadly, the reasons remain when we put down the bottle - but continuing to drink to mask them will never end well. I have to remind myself that the drink is a poison, as well as being a depressant.

It's a very courageous thing, to admit that we might have a problem and need help. You've taken the first step along the path, that's amazing.

Counselling has helped me, as well as anti-depressants, and there are lots of good resources out there (I've mentioned a couple of books in my last post or two on here). There's no "one size fits all" answer, but there are lots of common themes. Difficult childhoods, trauma, unhappiness at home are all common themes.

Weaning myself off the hard stuff was not easy - but I can guarantee that it is worth it. Like your username suggests - one day at a time. One hour at a time if needs be. This is a really friendly, supportive place. Welcome to you and all who are finding us for the first time. x

Carpediem15 · 01/07/2024 15:46

First time here and day 2. I really must stop this wine drinking as it is getting out of hand now. My husband has been in hospital for 2 months and I go every day to make sure he eats his food and has his protein drinks and it wears me down. Now when I get home I can't wait to open the wine and has got to the stage where after dinner I am now opening the 2nd bottle and it has been going on like this for over a month now and has to stop.
I am getting out of breath, putting on weight and feeling like shit. I am reading Jason Vale Kick the Drink Easily and have listened to a couple of pod casts and really need to listen and understand. I have always liked a couple of glasses of wine but nothing like this.
I think reading here will also help.

Itsrainingten · 01/07/2024 15:58

So nice to see so many new people joining the thread. And also lovely to hear from some veterans.
Thank you all. I'm day 200 today and I absolutely couldn't have got this far without you all. Peace and love 😘

WendyWagon · 01/07/2024 16:08

Welcome @Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime @Carpediem15

Some of us have used drink to manage caring and bereavement. It's exhausting and ultimately not helpful.
If you can take vitamin D do so as it helps the brains healing process during sobriety. I take folic acid due to my meds and eat fish most days.
We're all on the posh fruit this week, I love apricots. Short season and expensive but I'm worth it.

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