The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

@NextPhaseOfLife i think we are and you've been buoying up my progress so thank you! can't believe holiday is nearly here am taking youngest out of school ( naughty) and even the teens are asking me if im going to drink ( feel bad about that).

@tara66 welcome your condition sounds really hard. hope you find some non drinking support here.

So sorry to read this, @tara66

That must be so so hard. I've had episodes of labyrinthitis over the years which in themselves are awful but at least short lived.

Ahoy shipmates.
I am a bit late to the bridge today.
Welcome to @tara66

I am OK with AF gin because I hate the real stuff. However I love milk, blue top.
I had it last night. It just feels indulgent due to coming from a large family where people scoffed everything.

The DH and I tend to go on holiday in November. It's our wedding anniversary month and we both hate extreme heat. DH is not a drinker. He'd rather have more pudding. It has been helpful.

I have actually ordered the sober Dave book. I read lots at the start. I thought I'd try it although I usually like to read from a woman's perspective.

Ahoy, @WendyWagon 😂🤩

I'm the same with AF beer - I never drank beer so it doesn't seem to worry me.

I also get your milk thing -
I've had a bit of an addiction for Rice Krispies with ice cold milk since going AF. Bloody love them!

Good morning all. Re-booted day 16 (after minor slip; but for a few mis-steps along the way I have generally been sober since 2020) for me and enjoying the clear headed-morning feeling and restful sleep. A hearty welcome to newbies from me and the dog.

I tend to shy away from AF stuff, in case I find it triggering, though I know there's a lot of good stuff out there. Clare Pooley speaks of finding solace in Becks Blue AF beer in her early days. With me though, even at the worst height of my drinking "career" I rarely, if ever, drank publicly - at home before, during and after bedtime. So ordering a sparkling water is easy and 'standard' for me.

Good stuff on the flight @EastCoastDamsel, that was brave. I am a nervous flier myself and I suspect alcohol would make that worse. I've heard (though this might be wrong) that flying at altitude enhances the effects of alcohol on the system, and I've certainly seen passengers getting belligerent very quickly when hitting the wine. Must be a nightmare for cabin crew. Hope you and @Onewildandpreciouslife and @ponzusoup enjoy your holidays. I know it won't be easy, but the memories will be much more precious if they are sober ones.

The dog and I will be holidaying with all six feet on terra firms in three weeks' time. It has been made explicitly clear to him that there will be no repeat of his antics of last year (he broke his harness and escaped into the vast wilderness of a national park, carrying with him my phone and car key. The military were involved. As was a chicken curry. The dog still owes me £710, which was the cost of mopping up his day's work). He pretends to be asleep whenever I mention it - but I can see one eye peeping open to check if I've fallen for it. He's not a subtle man.

Strength and love to all. Keep going. x

@WendyWagon I love the milk too. Not terribly Slimming World friendly, but lovely stuff nonetheless. We get ours delivered from a local dairy and the semi-skimmed is like regular full-cream milk. They must be very happy cows...!

Chocolate milkshake became my go-to in trying to stay sober. A small amount before bedtime - I found it helped with cravings and a bit of comfort. I would occasionally rotate with strawberry or banana flavours, but chocolate helped for me. Sainsbury's do a white chocolate raspberry ripple flavour with is my current particular vice.

Hello all 👋 and thanks @WendyWagon for the new thread.

Checking in, four and a half years down the line. I had a drinking dream the other night and was so glad to wake up sober, but still I had the weird guilt/hangover feeling. It's my unconscious mind keeping me on track, I'm sure.

Some of the posts on the last thread made me reflect on my difficult relationship with my parents. I'm now nc with my father after a lifetime of being trained to support and submit to his narcissism and accept his abuse of me, my siblings and my mother. It has been an incredibly difficult process but also life-changing and I never would have managed it before I got sober. In fact, alcohol was part of the overall structure of control and submission in our family. When I rejected the systemic drinking culture it caused huge ructions and was the start of me being able to disentangle myself and function as an emotionally healthy, fully formed adult. I just thought I'd share as it feels relevant to what others are going through.

Midsummer joy to you all. I'm loving the energy that comes with this time of year, all the better for not being suppressed by the tyranny of booze!

Just saying hello to @rockingbird
I saw your comment on the scumbag husband thread (I can't be arsed to engage anymore on that one).
Your DIY skills were legendary on this thread. Hope all is well.

@piggyissmall and @dylexicdementor11 Welcome to our thread. How are you doing today? Hope you are OK. 💐

Hello @Drybird2020 big cheery wave from me, and many many thanks for starting the original thread that led us all here. It's invaluable; I cannot express how helpful it has been for me. And so encouraging to read posts from you, @AppleStrudel23 , @EIsaCrag , @swayingpalmtree and other soberellas who are well into their AF life - such great advice and hope for the future for us.

I bought some cherries yesterday. Sainsburys only had two boxes left on their entire display (and it's a big old Sainsburys, not your runt-of-the-litter Sainsburys Local). Perhaps we're onto something... 🍒 I've eaten about a third of them. Sadly the dog has lost his. An unfortunate episode with an obese Labrador called Polo, which is never to be spoken of again. 😉🍒

Evening all. I listened to E 226 of sober powered tonight, "using alcohol to escape your life." So helpful. Basically people who do that have less satisfying lives, and less developed emotional regulation skills. (Like me....) Anyway I just needed to have that said out loud to me.

Hope everyone is OK x

Thanks for sharing that, @Womanshour - I don't think I've listened to that podcast yet - I'll give it a listen x

Ahoy!

Made it through last night. I used peri-menopause as an excuse. Everyone seemed to accept that quite easily. Just said I have found that not drinking means my symptoms are so much better (this is true) and that alcohol is not worth it.

@REP22 sounds like you were lucky to get your hands on some 🍒. Enjoy them.
I struggle to NOT eat a whole punnet in one go! (Surprise, surprise).

I haven't listened to that podcast yet either @Womanshour . Will download the episode and have a listen.

Challenge today. Seeing DM for the first time since I quit and bring her home with me for the summer.

@EastCoastDamsel what a brilliant excuse. I have several big social events coming up this month and I might borrow it.
It is bizarre that people have to justify being AF when socializing.

I managed a night watching TV with my DH last night without drinking. That never happens for me. I actually dislike watching TV in the evening but wine always made it less boring.
I feel as if I have a chance to reignite my own interests by not being drunk every night ( that was surprisingly difficult for me to admit to). Thanks everyone. Thinking about this thread last night helped so much.

@EastCoastDamsel good luck today and the rest of the summer with your DM.

Had my best NA induced sleep last night for weeks. Couldn't believe I woke up at 7.30 instead of 2 - 3.30 - 4 - 5.30 am. If nothing else this will encourage me not to buy anymore wine. 😃

Morning shipmates.
A bit overcast here.

@EastCoastDamsel good luck with your DM. Although my mother was very difficult she had her moments.

I am looking for a special outfit for a posh wedding in November. My cousins daughter. Hats ahoy! Dark green is supposed to be a colour for A/W 24 which suits me.

I was trying on linen dresses yesterday for my lunch next week but they were all too big. My DS said I looked like Humpty Dumpty in one! He did follow it up with 'mother you are a lot smaller than you think'.

I was following the thread on genetic ASD and I do have loads of ND family going back generations. Apparently autoimmune conditions are linked. I do do a few odd things. The family trainee psychologist just laughs. Food for thought though.

Well done on your sober night in front of the TV @dylexicdementor11 . My favourite quote from Alcohol Explained by William Porter is “alcohol doesn’t make boring things interesting. It makes your brain stupid.”

Glad you got a good nights sleep @Carpediem15 - it makes the world seem so much better.

Good luck today @EastCoastDamsel - remember the mantra “this is what is happening right now. I am doing the best that I can”, and keep breathing!

Your DS sounds lovely @WendyWagon - hope you find something gorgeous to wear for your lunch

Good morning morning! Another nice clear morning feeling for me. Last evening I decided to look at each bedtime as a mini-battle, over which I had the definite power of winning if I tried, and that I could bask in victory in the morning if I won. It seemed to help - I had an easier time of drifting off to sleep and celebrated by squirting a few extra sprays of Toilet Duck (special edition "Garden Escape", no less) around the loo bowl in triumph 🏆- let no-one suggest that I don't celebrate in style... I invited the dog to join me in a victory lap, but he muttered darkly about escaping from gardens and then went back under the duvet.

@EastCoastDamsel good luck with your DM, hope it's not too grim. 💝I forgot to ask @ponzusoup how their day with their own Mumm-Ra (remember him, off of Thundercats?) went - I hope it was as OK as it could be.

@WendyWagon Humpty Dumpty?! Blimmin' cheek! I'm sure you don't look even remotely like an accident-prone sinister egg. At least DS partially redeemed himself with a follow-up. Hope you can find something that makes you feel as fabulous as we know you are. I like Joe Browns clothing, but it's not everybody's cup of tea.

@Onewildandpreciouslife I like that quote. Very true. My quote for the day on the I Am Sober app yesterday was "You haven't come so far to only get this far", which hit home with me.

Strength and love to all. Keep going; we can do it. xx

@Carpediem15

AF sleep, once you've settled into it, is one the best best aspects of being alcohol free. I just love the feeling of going to bed knowing there's an excellent chance of waking up refreshed.

And don't need to stuff myself with antacids for the awful reflux alcohol used to give me at night 🤢🤢🤢

@REP22 😂😂😂😂 loving the Toilet Duck celebrations 😂😂😂

Hello all

Just a quick check in - day 54 for me

@WendyWagon, I need to do a big wardrobe clear out and maybe buy a few bits. I really do have a humpty dumpty shape at the minute 🥚 😳 .

Feeling quite tired at the moment. Not sure why as I'm sleeping plenty and not doing too much. I have been trying to eat a bit healthier, but not sure I'm succeeding.

Morning all. Early doors here. Dog walk in a moment then work.
was a very significant date yesterday so going to count this as day 1 of he rest of my life on all sorts of fronts. I really want to quit my job and move back to where I’m from so want to achieve this by the time this date rolls round again in 5 years time.
not drinking will definitely help me achieve this but is a bit scary,
have a good day all

@Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime - good morning and happy day one!

Good morning! Day 33 here.

@BigFatSoberLife sorry to hear you are feeling tired. It could be PAWS This article from Claire Pooley's blog might help.

I have arrived back in the UK after my flash visit "home". 2 long haul flights in 4 days. I did splurge on quite a few outfits from local designers in my home country. Mostly lovely dresses that are very forgiving for changing body shapes so while they fit now, hopefully should still do IF I manage to shed the extra pounds over the next few months.

Morning all.
Welcome @Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime - exciting plans!

Well done on your successful journeys @EastCoastDamsel

It’s interesting on this holiday- I don’t want to drink AF beers any more. I found them really helpful on previous holidays but now they don’t seem to “fit”. Which makes me wonder what I do want to drink as all the alternatives are too sweet. Might give kombucha another go when I get home.