The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

PS @Phoebewillow do you have a hobby you could get back into in the evenings? I have started crocheting again. Picking up a long forgotten project left abandoned in the storage cupboard for years.

@turnipsandtiaras i was reviewing the thread, how are you getting on?

Thanks all for your support. I was getting to drinking a bottle a night and know
that was no good for me. I think once I am back at work, I will be busier but also more stressed and more likely to want to reach for the bottle. I would like to keep it up though. My major hobby is running and that is def easier without drinking.. I think if my times start improving that will be a major incentive but it hasn’t happened yet!

Welcome @Phoebewillow . Yes, running is much easier when you don’t drink. Also, the mindset to run and the mindset to not drink are very similar- getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, focusing on how your mind/body is feeling right now, not how it’s going to feel at 10k / the first school day …

Well done on getting to day 25. And it keeps getting better, if you let it

@Onewildandpreciouslife thank you, I know you are right!

Ladies do we have a volunteer to host the thread? I think we'll run out of space by Friday.

I can do it if you like, but I’m absolutely ok if it’s been on someone else’s To Do list.

@WendyWagon - was it (the nickname) something to do with a popular much-beloved girls' comic of yesteryear? The effervescent Miss Windermere? She was great! Thinking about it, there was also a loveable rogue called Sid in the programme, wasn't there?! 😉 Happy to be a standby host if no-one else wants to - very happy to defer to @ShyMaryEllen as our first call. Thank you for being such a fabulous host and a wonderful inspiration. ❤ Good luck with the negotiations - you deserve everything they have to give you, and more besides.

Fantastic on the 12 weeks @EastCoastDamsel - that is so, so brilliant. 😀Enjoy the treadmill. That's a reward that will run and run... (sorry, hehe, couldn't help myself).

Welcome to @Gio1 and @Phoebewillow - I am glad you have found your way to us. It is not easy, squaring up to the notion that you might have a problem with drinking and - even harder - seeking help and advice to deal with it. This is an amazing space, safe, helpful and with people who know what it's like. Day 1 or Day 25 is great - it will be difficult but it honestly will be worth it, I promise. Improvements will come. Not having to deal with The Fear in the morning is a big one, others like skin tone, inner calm and resilience, weight loss (probably) and much more besides do come in time, hard to say exactly when as we are all delightfully different.

There are lots of great resources out there. I've linked in a recent previous post to books that were the most helpful for me - The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray. I did SMART recovery with an NHS service called Inclusion, which was invaluable, and I continue to use the I Am Sober app (it's free). I properly gave up drinking in 2019 but had a couple of significant lapses, which is what brought me to this thread, just over a year ago. This is a great place to be, whether you post daily, occasionally, or just lurk and read. My main reason for staying sober is my dog. Sid (not his real name but a thread badge in which he delights) He deserves better than drunk me and the miserable existence he would have if I was still drinking. He is a keen follower of the thread and is with me in the love and admiration for our friends here. The dismay, hurt and heartbreak in his eyes at the sound and scent of a bottle of spirits being opened and poured is more than I can bear.

Slimming World tonight lads. We shall see if the ill-advised cake I had over the weekend (chocolate orange sponge in a country park's café whilst out and about with Himself) has halted the march of progress (actually more of a hobble today) towards my next SW sticker (I live for those bloody stickers).

Here is Sid today, offering his cheery welcome to our new friends and being very happy indeed to see you all.

Strength and love. Keep going - it will be alright soon. xx

You and Sid do it, @REP22 ? I don't mind in the least, and can do it another time. We all look forward to your posts, not to mention Sidpics.

Thanks for the vote of confidence @ShyMaryEllen , you are very kind. I don't want to steal anyone's thunder if they would like to do it.

Enjoy the crocheting @EastCoastDamsel - I like doing tapestry, the proper type with a trammed canvas and wools. Very Jane Austen.

Have a good evening. I am just off to meet my fate (the SW scales). Remember me in your prayers. Hehe xx

No problem at all. I am a serial volunteer! I was brought up to pull my weight, whether I like it or not, so no thunder has been stolen 😂.

I shall look forward to the changing of the guard, and I second the vote of thanks to @WendyWagon for her sterling work at the helm.

Good luck at SW. Remember to take your earrings out before you get weighed!

I think it's a good idea for rep to hold the next two months and shymary the November and December biggie. Huge strength needed on all months but a veteran at boozy Christmas. Sid can pick Christmas hats. I'll have a rest until next year.

Not well tonight lads. Sickness and more.

Look after yourself @WendyWagon - sorry to hear things are tough

checking in with you lovely ladies long termers and newbies. i'm at the 4 month sober point and find myself talking joy in small ordinary things - a chat with a neighbour or friend, a nice view, reading a book, the garden, putting on a lovely perfume. before i stopped drinking only drinking would give my brain a sense of being rewarded. i think i am starting to feel the benefits of my brain chemistry being restored.

special wave to @WendyWagon haven't read all the recent posts but can see you're sick. feel better soon darling.

good luck at SW @REP22

Thank you @WendyWagon and @ShyMaryEllen - I am most honoured. Once we've hit 40 pages I will create and link a new thread.

Four months @ponzusoup - absolutely fantastic. Goddess-level stuff. You're brilliant for your strength and resolve. I'm glad that the rewards are coming through for you. I too take joy in the things that you describe. Before, they barely even registered - now, they enrich my days. ❤

Look after your lovely self @WendyWagon , hope you feel better soon. xx

Sorry to hear you are not well @WendyWagon Sending unmumsnetty hugs.

Also want to thank you for your brilliant captaining of the ship these last couple of months. It has literally been a lifesaver.

Confident that Sid will do a sterling job alongside @REP22

Thank you @ponzusoup - I lost half a pound! 😌Not quite the 2lb the scales at the local surgery suggested this morning, but in the right direction, so I'll take that. Sid was relieved that the hat didn't appear again, hehe x

Thanks @EastCoastDamsel . Please be assured that Sid will not be left alone in sole charge of the keyboard. I've seen the sorts of things he Googles. 😳😉x

Get well soon, @WendyWagon . Congrats on the half a pound, @REP22 . It's still a win.

That all sounds encouraging, @ponzusoup . It does sound like you're rewiring, which is great. It's a slow process sometimes, isn't it? Worth it though. In some ways, the arduous nature of recovery is a good thing, as if we knew all would be well after a couple of days there would be less incentive to persevere.

Something I enjoy these days is early nights. I never had them before, as my insomnia made them unbearable. I'd stay up late - when drinking until I knew I'd crash out as soon as my head touched the pillow, and when I stopped I'd wait until I was tired enough to settle with my hypnosis and episode of Stella or whatever I was half watching at the time. Now I often head bedwards with a glass of AF fizz, have a leisurely bath and lie in bed enjoying doing nothing for a while before settling down for sleep.

It's getting towards hot chocolate weather, too. That was another discovery. I treated myself to a Velvetiser, and have lots of different flavoured chocolate ready for when the temperature drops. I have to ration it, as it's pretty much 100% sugar and a million calories a cup, but it's delicious.

Morning all.
I think I had an allergic reaction to some reintroduced meds. They weren't around long! I was waying up expiring in my own bed or queuing in a ambulance. I haven't had to have the green suited boys for over a year.
I bought loads of pyjamas last year after going arriving in some mismatched rags.
I plumped for home and although I sound like a washing machine I'm a bit better.
The dog was barred from the bedroom but he does play Nanna Dog. He didn't leave my side for the first four months of this year until they blasted me.

@REP22 Bunty!

Porridge is needed.

Morning all.

@ShyMaryEllen your description of staying up late drinking really resonates with me. I used to do that too, even though I knew I should be coming up to bed. Now, I am falling asleep really easily after coming up to bed but one thing I realising is how few hours there are in the day! It's a bit of a juggle right now with kids still off school bit trying to fit everything in a day makes it feel like all I do is work/jobs/bed.

Sorry to hear about your reaction @WendyWagon . Glad you managed to avoid the ambulance though. Going to hospital is such a nightmare.

Autumn is definitely drawing in here. We have a Smeg hot chocolate machine (actually it is DDs) which does amazing hot chocolate.

DD has a bit of a Knoops obsession and now that I am no longer wasting calories on wine, I am enjoying the odd one myself.

Right, need to get up and going . Dogs aren't going to walk themselves.

Have a fab day everyone.
IWNDWYT

Morning all,

Sorry you're not well, @WendyWagon
Hope it doesn't hold your business launch and plans back too much 🤞

@ponzusoup - I totally get you about the small things. I'm 4 months too and my sense of awareness and equilibrium is astounding me.

My family appears sick of me humming though. Bloody heathens!

It's a funny thing but I don't eat chocolate or drink coffee but hot chocolate and coffee ice cream I adore.

I'm really excited for DDs birthday this weekend. I've bought her a ring. She loves her earrings but I wanted something special. She's such a kind person. She's going to make a great doctor, (although she likes the gruesome bits of her field).
She's plumped for pizza at home but they won't be drinking on her watch. I think few of her friends do. One comes from a famous Irish brewing family. He hates booze!
I might buy myself a velvetiser. (does anyone remember the thread when the rich lady was trying to find cheap version for her daily?).