The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

Glad your feeling okay today @Overitx x

@Allthecatseverywhereallatonce welcome

@Overitx I am so impressed with you that even feeling so lousy you have been so proactive and told your husband (who is in denial, but never the less) and booked therapy. That is really something and shows your inner grit.

I hope you feel better today.

But please remember.... just because this happened and you are struggling does NOT make you a bad person, or a flawed person (beyond the usual flaws everyone has). Alcohol is hideously addicitive and cocaine is hideously addicitve- and yet society tells us we are at fault for becooming addicted or for struggling with it? Totally nuts. Alcohol in particular is shoved down our throats everywhere we look- marketing; pubs on every corner. Yet society looks down on people who struggle with it. It's nuts and topsy turvey.

Please be kind to yourself and nurture yourself. You deserve better than this and you certainly deserve better than feeling like this.

And welcome to @Allthecatseverywhereallatonce

Day 20 for me. had a wibble last night when I went to a truly awful overpriced 'restaurant' with my eldest. Rubbish food. Rubbish service (and an open plan kitchen where the 'chefs' were effing and blinding at each other) and the thought crossed my mind that a glass of wine would improve it. I made do with a 0% Peroni though and that was fine and I made it through., Thus saving some £20 on the bill right there, because I would have had 2 wines of course. Which triggered me to review my alcohol 'savings' and it has come to a significant amount. No wonder i was always struggling at the end of the month!

It's a new place in our smallish village and I shall not be returning. I was so annoyed at wasting £30 or so on the meal but am grateful it was not more with alcohol thrown in for good (bad?) measure.

I am coming out today to a friend. We are having brunch today as we are both off work and she has invited me to girls night so I am going to say i am off the booze and can't quite cope with that at the moment.

I hope everyone is fine and well and that you all have a truly glorious day. ❤

Day 16 for me. Party this weekend and lots of dinner dates coming up. I've been honest and told every one I can't drink anymore, for the sake of my mental health.

Every one has been very Supportive 😊

so pleased that people have been supportive @itsahotmess That really helps.

I told my friend i was off alcohol for a bit and she was admiring and said she wished she could be too. So that was something.

But last night I was climbing the walls- first time since i started. I figured out what it was though..... I am about to book a trip back to my home country to see family. It will be a brief trio without DH and the DCs due to illness in my extended family. So it is a massive trigger for me. Lots of emotions around it (obligation, guilt etc) and previously I have made these trips and drank through it as a coping mechanism.

So... something to think about and work through.

I hope everyone has a lovely day. Hope you are okay @Fantasymanfantasyman as well.

Morning all.
Glad you worked through it last night @CurtainsForBea . There’s a saying (from Matt Haig I think): when you’re in a storm, be a weatherman, not a leaf. If you don’t reach for a drink as the quick exit from pain, it gives you time to go “oh, that’s interesting, I’m feeling this because…”. It’s a great gift.

Oh good phrase. Although I am reading it a bit more ‘be one with the weatherman’ ‘be the weatherman’

plodding along here. New project doing a mosaic for some steps in the garden. I mean why start with something small when you can go big hey.

warm wishes to all.

@WendyWagon havent see you checking in for a bit. All ok??

Hi everyone

I almost had a wobble last night. I had a huge important (not really) work project to finish and worked like a dog until late. As I got near my house, I suddenly had a fleeting thought of “rewarding myself “ with a few drinks.

I was able to shrug it off. Alcohol is a punishment, not a reward. Interesting though that six months in, those ingrained thought processes are still lurking.

Morning all.
Sorry I have been away from the bridge.
@Fortheloveofgodwhy DH being a pain.
I have chosen to ignore him.
Daughter has her exam today. I am driving her to the university and waiting around. She has then got a short recess for a few weeks.

I tackled 17 bags of linen and curtains yesterday. Not sorted for at least 14 years. Could be 17! Lots to sell and give away. I would say therapeutic but it wasn't! However done now.

@CurtainsForBea well done for managing your stressful situation x

I'm sober but not okay @CurtainsForBea. Thank you for asking. I will continue to follow the thread but don't think I can post again.

Glad you are still with us Sav.

@Fantasymanfantasyman is there anything we can help with? Or can you speak to a support line or GP?

Thanks so much @CurtainsForBea

I'm glad you were able to push through, and hope today is brighter for you.

I'm very thankful that I've had support so far. I never considered myself to have a problem with alcohol until recently.

I went through pregnancy and long periods of not drinking without a second thought, and very seldom drink at home.

I had a slow realisation that there was in fact a problem when every time I did drink I would get blackout drunk. The beer fear was so horrific I would actively consider self harm just to get out of my own head.

The final straw for me was a recent social event where I promised myself I'd drink moderately but unsteady got home at 2am, after my DH had to send a taxi to get me because id been too drunk to work my own phone.

The horror of how is shown myself up in front of my friends friends was unbearable and huge sections of the evening were just blank.

This coupled with the fact I had to spend 24 hours in bed and it took me a full week to feel anywhere near better

@Fantasymanfantasyman Bless you. Even if you don't feel able to post again, please know that we are all still here, rooting for you and wishing you well, whatever happens. xx

@Fantasymanfantasyman hang in there. Sober today is a fantastic start.
We are not here to judge we are just a bunch of mainly women that had little support in real life to help us stop drinking.
We have all had the friends who told us 'you're not that bad'.The 'just have one' merchants, the 'you're no fun anymore'.
We get to know our posters but just reading now and again is OK too. I am not qualified to do absolution (but the DH was asked to consider being a vicar) - would have been great. Large hats for me! Free lunches.
Bonne Chance.

Oh FFS. Here for accountability. I am away for my birthday. Host greeted me with a G&T. Part of me didn't want to be rude. But brutally honestly, part of me thought why not. I can just have that. But I had scraped my dads car on the way in, and then my ds rang and his dad is moving house (it's a long story and hard to explain but he makes mad decisions and then acts like I, and now the dc, somehow made it happen. He took all the money from the house and left me with nothing. I actually like him and will try to help but it's a trigger to panicky feelings).

So long story short, added two lagers and 2 glasses of wine. I haven't been drunk for years and tears. That's not my issue- it's more that I can't stop and I don't want it and then it creeps in like an uninvited guest. So here I am the morning after. I need to acknowledge all of it before I move on. I'm angry with myself though.

And sorry but I need to get it off my chest. And bloody dp drinking is his hobby and I get that to an extent. It all revolves around drink. It doesn't tempt me when he drinks and although he offers me a drink all the time, he also makes nice and interesting soft drinks. But god it's boring. We went to the pub last night. I didn't want to but did it for him. On my fucking birthday!

Sorry about the swears. As you were

Happy Birthday!!

Don't beat yourself up... loads of triggers there to say the least! Just get back to it. You can do it. It's not lost and you are not weak- regroup and continue on the path. And please schedule yourself a lovely treat at your trigger time and something to look forward to.

Thank you @CurtainsForBea
Just like everyone else I would love to be able to moderate but it just doesn't work and so it's most definitely not worth it.
I am in my sunny garden, organising my study papers and what I need to do over the summer break, and forking coffee. These are my favourite things.

Not my garden obvs - I wish!!!

Oh and also drinking coffee! Not forking. I like it strong but...

Just quietly putting this here. I know you guys will get it

@Fortheloveofgodwhy - that is awesome! Many congratulations 🎉 🎉🎉

Absolutely phenomenal @Fortheloveofgodwhy

And don't be quiet about it, yell it from the rooftops (if you want to of course!!)

I'll join you in a week for my 500 days. ❤