The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy better out than in my darling. You are far more Zen than me.
Glad everyone is coping. Hot weather and booze are such bed fellows but tbh they shouldn't be. No hot country native drinks in the heat. We were all bloody mad. No wonder why we get so rubbished abroad.
I have been on the marks ready mixed G and T bottle, meh. No longer herby.
And FortheLove, you should see my courgettes Mrs.

If you want a laugh read the gnome thread.

Morning all,

Hope everyone is well. Bad week for me- the hot weather is triggering.

Arranged two breakfast meetups with friends this week. Lunch is too risky for me right now as they would definitely drink (and they are bill splitters so I would justfiy it to myself as 'I'm paying for the wine anyway.... '

Tonight at trigger time I am taking the DCs to the skate park. It's a drive away....

happy days everyone!

Morning all.
You sound like you’re managing your trigger’s really well @CurtainsForBea . Sunny weather is SO hard!

I had a drinking dream last night - dreamt I was at a wedding and got completely hammered. Was very relieved when I realised it was a dream!

Morning lads.
Full sleep this end. I didn't hear the DH and son come in.
@CurtainsForBea keep putting on foot in front of the other.

I was chatting to my cousin last night and she had had a skinful. She drinks daily. She comes from the boozy side of the family. She asked about her red skin (usually caused by booze, it only takes a month to look so much better) and she couldn't take her meds as she had a party the night before! The deals we make to have a 'few' drinks. I use to lodge with her once a week and had to stop because even before going AF I couldn't keep up. The food was lovely but the expectation to drink 1-2 bottles of wine then go to work was impossible (she is semi retired) I started my AF journey 5 weeks after I left that job. My cousin is a lovely person but her statements around drink are the well worn ones, 'I don't drink every day, I don't drink in the day, I can hold my drink, the AF stuff tastes like water, I just need to finish this wine case and I am cutting down, everyone drinks in our social circle and we are 70+ and OK health wise, I don't go out much etc.'. We make our choices.
Today is a new day and a new week. We can be sober, we can make great choices.
Onwards and upwards mes aimies.

Hello all - today marks 6 months alcohol for me which I almost can’t believe! I’m feeling so much better thanks to no alcohol and also starting HRT I think. Hopefully my fatty liver will be improving as I’ve managed to lose 10 pounds in the last 5 weeks, most of that was gained post going AF as I was over compensating with bread, cheese and chocolate. Only 2 stone more to lose 😨
Well done everyone for surviving the hot weather and all of the other triggers surrounding us!

@Onewildandpreciouslife I used to have those dreams when I quit smoking. Absolutely horrible. Would wake up in a panic, furious with myself because I was convinced I had been smoking 😂

Not had those dreams around booze thankfully.

Meeting a friend for lunch today. She will be disappointed that I am not drinking, but honestly can you imagine the headache you would get from sinking a bottle of Prosecco each with lunch in this weather?

@RubyMurry22 well done on the six months.

@rothbury enjoy your lunch. It's a bit cooler here.

Well done on 6 months @RubyMurry22

Such a lovely milestone to reach and your body (and mind!) will be thanking you endlessly.

We had a christening yesterday and although the mum of the child being christened doesn't drink (she is my only totally AF friend, she stopped drinking years ago) the party afterwards was full of boozers. I had a few lovely AF beers and I was on my own with the 3 DC so I wouldn't have been 'caning it' even if I was still drinking but I'd have def sunk a bottle of wine after I got home.

I still feel very exposed as a non drinker. I didn't realise how socially awkward and shy and lacking in self confidence I am. Booze hid all that. A glass or two of red wine and I'd be in the thick of it, now I am more of a periphery person.

We didn't stay long at the party as it was so hot and it was all getting a bit much!

I am still, after all this time, learning how to be a happy non drinker. I've not been around this crowd since I stopped so at least I've made my AF debut. A few raised eyebrows when I said I didn't drink told me all I needed to know.... I was a proper booze hound and no-one ever imagined I'd stop!

Well done @Crunchymum

I've been AF for a shorter time than you, but have been out quite a lot, and completely relate to what you're saying.

I've always felt that I'm a confident person but that actually may not be true.

We were out with some new friends on the weekend and I honestly felt I was such a bore and I could have livened the evening up if I'd had a drink.

I stuck to my AF wine though and felt much better for it the next day. Onwards and upwards!

Ah I too am surprised at how little I speak when not drinking, I'm not sure if it s because of a lack of confidence or being more introverted, or if I am a better listener. To be bluntly honest I think it is probably because a lot of people are actually quite uninteresting when they drink, thus I really have nothing to add or desire to encourage them to speak more...

also well done on the milestones, sing them loud and proud!

To be bluntly honest I think it is probably because a lot of people are actually quite uninteresting when they drink, thus I really have nothing to add or desire to encourage them to speak more...

I think you raise a very valid point @Fortheloveofgodwhy 😂

We left about 6pm and already people were wobbly and chatting shit. It was a free bar but it was also essentially a party for a baby!!!

I have zero patience for drunk people but I oddly miss the familiarity of being a bit tipsy at social events as I felt a bit safer there? Wine felt like a good friend to me at social occasions when I felt awkward and shy even though I know wine was never good to me in any way whatsoever.

I can't relate to shyness or being introvert but I have always needed to be liked!
My DM once told me she didn't like me, charming I'm sure. Perhaps I was always seeking her approval. Not perhaps, bloody certain really.
My older brother was her favorite, my sister a mini me of my mum, me the rebel and my lovely late brother my father's boy wonder. I had no one but my books.
It paid off later in my successful career but a bit of kindness would have been nice. Drink made me funnier I thought and I do miss the stupidity and belly laughs.
We are a mixed bunch of people here, I am.glad I found you all. It has made such a difference to my life. AF cheers my dears.

Morning all.
I am up and the dog is a bit better this morning. He was tucked under my arm last night like a baby. He's had his breakfast and a big wee.
The DS has gone back to London and will return to introduce the girlfriend in a fortnight. He has booked some time off to organise the house and strip out the storage. I have been painting the bookcases but it was difficult in the heat.
Neither of my DC drink. Son didn't even have a beer with the DH. He is still watching the bottle recycle!

We will need a new host for the thread at 40 pages. I am out to lunch and then a covid booster, joy.

I can set up and host the next one, is anyone available for backup if I'm not around for a couple of days?

Thank you @WendyWagon I'm glad your dog is on the mend. Business lunch?

Congratulations @RubyMurry22! Six months is when I started to feel that I really could go AF long term.

Thank you everyone 😊. I am feeling I’m in for the long haul. I’m so grateful to this thread where I was lurking for a while and spotted the Quit Lit recommendations. They gave me a massive boost when I had started thinking maybe I could start drinking moderately again. Now I know where that leads.

Hi @Blackberryblossom Im happy to step in on hosting duties if you’re away

Good morning everyone. Another full, sober day ahead.

I went to 'birthday drinks' for a colleague last night. Within 20 minutes they were back to telling tales of a very drunken weekend away. Boring! I made my excuses and left as soon as I could.

@Blackberryblossom @Onewildandpreciouslife thanks lads. I must step away from MN next month and concentrate on creating this new company. I will be around.

Good luck @WendyWagon

Good luck @WendyWagon and thank you. Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife too, I’ll try to post on most days, I’ve been meaning to for a while as this community is such a great resource and lovely place. I’ll set up the new thread when this one tips over to 40 pages.
Lovely day here today. DD is doing her work experience week with DH. I rode my bike into town this morning and had a walk this afternoon. Just waiting for them to get back as dh is cooking tonight and has declined help. I feel blessed.
@RubyMurry22 I had such helpful quitlit suggestions on here. Sunshine Warm Sober was my most favourite recent read, it really helped me reaffirm my commitment to living AF.
@Pleasemrstweedie good work on stepping away! I hope you had enough of the evening left to enjoy.

Tentatively joining/dipping my toe in.

I have 7 weeks AF at the beginning of the year and felt amazing.

I really do want to stop completely as I can't moderate and I slip into bad habits.

I am being realistic and I won't be able to do that this month as I'm going on holiday and I'd be setting myself up for failure trying to stop just before a holiday.

I want to start putting in the ground work though, I don't want to drink a lot on holiday I just know I will not be able to not drink at all so my plan is to quit after. I do not want to have a 'last blow out' situation though and would like to drink less on the holiday than j usually would.

Can anyone recommend books/audiobooks/podcasts for me to start listening to & reading prior to my holiday and during.

I’m currently reading the sober girl society handbook, I’ve also read the sober diaries which was good.

podcasts are my go to and I love to listen to them. My top recommendations are-
over the influence
2 sober girls
sober awkward (love this one)
menace to sobriety

I agree with @Overitx ’s book choices, and would add Alcohol Explained by Wiiliam Porter, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray, and Sober on a Drunk Planet by Sean Alexander