On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

Well, I had to nip to the post office which is next to a small tesco. Previously when I've had a lazy day like today, I'd definitely nip in and buy a couple of bottles.
The thought did cross my mind - especially as I'm tired through being up half the night, but I resisted. So pleased with that choice.
Dh has booked us into a fancy restaurant Sunday, so I'm going to wait til then, and have a couple of glasses.
Hope everyone is OK.

Oh well done! Good first day last night even if I did drink a Lot of alcohol free beer. Wed night is childfree so I do usually drink - and I missed it - but feel better for it today. Tonight is fine, I have an early start and a long day tomorrow so happy not to drink

@colouringindoors , that's great. Glad you feel good today.
We're doing it ! 👏

Well done a@Amdone123 on not giving in and buying a couple of bottles. And we’ll done @colouringindoors

Ive managed two AF nights. I’ve been a bit restless and not as productive as I could have been, but I guess I get into the habit of not drinking every night, the other better habits will follow.

The thought of this thread stopped me from caving, so thank you!

@EnoughEnoughnow , well done for your 2 af nights.
I've been a bit restless, too.

Great to read everyone's success, it's inspiring and encouraging. I have a party tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to attending it sober. I had 3 glasses of wine today during a shopping and lunch trip with friends. Usually on the way home I'd get another bottle. It did cross my mind but I thought of the affect it would have on me tomorrow and decided not to.

Keep moving forward everyone we are all doing fantastic.

As others have said, I’m doing well with the moderation but not the AF nights. So that’s kind of a win I guess! I seem to know when to stop now. I just don’t seem to manage to not have anything.

@Manyrivers , well done for not carrying on. That's exactly the type of thing I used to do, but I'm not doing it so much nowadays. @Bigbus , at least you're halfway there. And knowing when to stop is a fantastic tool. I can do that, too - though not always.
Last night I was yearning for 1 glass - I think it was boredom, but I had to remind myself that it's never one. I then had an image of myself standing in the kitchen, drinking and smoking, and texting shite to people 😩. That put me off.
Day 4 tomorrow and I have my granddaughter for the day. Dh is working so it's just the 2 of us. I'd normally take her to a soft play/ pub set up but we're going to the library then home to bake.
Hope everyone is OK - weekends are challenging, sometimes.

Morning, folks. How are we all getting on ?
I must say my af friday was ok, really. A slight craving but nothing I couldn't handle. And of course, Saturday morning - refreshed and raring to go is so much better than a raging hangover.
Today may prove challenging - if I pass a shop and especially if my granddaughter wants to go in, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
I can only try but I'm thinking that Just For Today, I Won't Drink.
.

Well done @Amdone123 - try to hold that fresh morning feeling in mind! I have to collect DD16 from a party tonight so that will keep me on the straight and narrow!

I am off to a party as the designated driver so I know I won't drink and I feel really good about that. I'm also looking forward to a hangover free Sunday morning, win win. Stay strong my friends you've got this!

Hello! Well done! Day10 AF for me. Rubbish day today in lots of ways but am hitting the Nozeco instead x

@Blackbirdbaby , well done on Day 10 - that's really good. Sorry you had a rubbish day, but good you're not drinking.
I've had a good day, people / productivity wise, but a bit flat. By that, I mean I've had fun with my granddaughter, I've got loads done but if you'd have put a drink in front of me , I'd have drank it.
I'm excited about going out tomorrow. I think I need to get out of the house !
Day 4 though ✅

Urgh. Good week. ok Fri (alcohol, as planned). Tonight, too much alcohol.

@colouringindoors , hope you're feeling OK. Don't forget you had a good af week, so no point beating yourself up today. You could always make a plan for this coming week - stay af during the week ( and you know you can do it), and have 1 day at the weekend when you can have a couple.

Hi all, just checking in for Moderate March. I don't know if you recall but my problem is social drinking and having no off-switch in certain situations. Since NYE there have been two occasions when I haven't stuck to my username, one night with my best friend where I moderated my wine all evening and then (for reasons unknown!) we drank a load of orange gin 🤮. The hangxiety and tiredness lasted five days. The other occasion was last night with my brother. I drank a bottle and a half of wine on a pretty empty stomach. I also had a lot of water so it wasn't toooo bad. It was the anniversary of our sister's death (17 years so not a recent thing) and I knew that overdoing it was likely. I'm kind of giving myself a free pass on this one though. On the down side, I have terrible anxiety today, forensically examining the evening - various fears ranging from forgetting to give my cats their late evening snack to whether the neighbours could hear the music from my tiny Bluetooth speaker and now hate me as a consequence!! The cats are fine, the neighbours are very unlikely to have heard my music and even if they did, I'm incredibly boring for 98% of the year and in bed by 10pm! I'm also really tired as I slept terribly🤦‍♀️.

thanks @Amdone123 I am pleased with last week and this weekend has shown me very clearly the negative impact the next day! My problem is always finishing the bottle 🙄 anyway. Tomorrow is another week.

@Nomorethanthree73 I understand the no off switch. I have a few social events coming up and I'd rather go sober as I feel I might struggle to moderate when out in a pub. The anxiety and the hangovers are just not worth it to me anymore, the self loathing afterwards is unbearable isn't it.

@colouringindoors keep moving forward, every experience is a learning tool, even our negative ones! I've broken my no drinking alone rule this week so taking that learning experience into this week!

@Amdone123 your making great progress and also great at checking in on us all! Thank you for that it really helps.

This week I need to figure out how I'm approaching my social evening, moderate or sober? I'm leaning towards sober. I want to have no alone drinking this week. Watch this space!

Oops ! Not doing too well today, though it's been super so far.
Woke up feeling fabulous, walked 20k with my sister. Walked the dog, etc
Went to the fancy restaurant, great.
On my 2nd bottle - oops.
It's not that great - feeling tired now !!
I'll get back on it tomorrow.
Dh has just booked us a weekend away this coming weekend, so I'll be af til then !!

Hello Folks. I'm new. Looking for support as the time has come to sort my life out. Looks like many of you are doing well. I've always been a big drinker (4 or 5 bottles of wine a week) Always in the evening. Then about a year ago things changed. I don't know when exactly but my drinking has become heavier & heavier. Fast forward this weekend and I've been on a 5 day bender involving a shed load of vodka. Starting at about 11am. My kids cried at me yesterday, my heart is broken and I'm so ashamed. My husband has given me an ultimatum. I don't blame him. So today is day 1 and I'm in bed with a brew. Trying not to let my kids see me miserable or bothered. I'd like to cut down to 2 or 3 bottles a week. For now I'm aiming for 2 weeks off. I don't know what I'm scared off. I think I've forgotten how to live my life sober 😔

@Orlakeepsmiling Welcome to the chat. I like you have always been a big drinker and I'm no stranger to 5 bottles of wine a week. I'm here for the same reasons as you, looking for non judgemental support, I'm sure you will see from posts that everyone is lovely.

I've broken many goals over the years so I focus on small ones now. I'm trying to make conscious decisions when I do drink to be more measured and moderate, (various results so far). I choose to post my failures and wins on this chat, it keeps me accountable. I often considered alcohol counselling in the past but since receiving counselling for other trauma I feel I can address my drinking without it. The drinking was a trauma response and coping mechanism. Only you will know the tools you'll need but being here and trying today is a great step. X

My drinking is also a trauma response and a poor coping mechanism for the stress of parenting 2dcs with disabilities and an ex with bipolar...

Hey @Orlakeepsmiling , we'll help you. Let's try one day at a time for now.
How are you feeling today ?

@colouringindoors it took me years to admit WHY I was drinking so much and honestly I've only just admitted to myself recently. That's why this time it feels different approaching this attempt to moderate. I feel this time I'm entering this challenge with my eyes wide open.

How is everyone feeling today?

Thank you to everyone that has replied to me. I really has made such a difference. I had a horrible sweaty sleep (we all know about them 🤮 but my little girl wanted cuddles all night so I'm taking that as a therapy session. I'm on day 2 today. I feel ok. Had a pint of water after my brew and am now sat with a facepack on filling out my plan for this week. Got a busy week ahead and I start a new job next week after 22 years in my old job. I think that stress has added to my bender. @colouringindoors do you mind me asking you what's made you realise why you struggle to moderate? I understand if you'd want to keep that private. I definitely think mine is only keeping a really small amount (1 bottle wine) on a evening I choose to drink. Ideally 2 to 3 times a week. I'm still figuring out how I'll stick to it! I love a giggle & a wine but I also like waking the dog with a fresh head on a Saturday.