On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

Afternoon, everyone.
Well, I'm not feeling too good, but I'm not beating myself up. I didn't intend to carry on, but I needed washing powder and that was that !
I actually had a really lovely day.
I aim to be af now til Saturday when I'm going for a ( nother) meal.

Hi all @Amdone123 and @Mj20 so sorry i have not been around recently but i havent been doing too well so did not know what to say and did not want to discourage or trigger others trying their very best! I was away weekend gone, literal drinking and smoking for 2/3 days solid. back to reality and dont want to stop still on holiday mode! hope everyone is ok, everytime you post you are doing something about the drinking! well done to all on their journeys so far...

@Determineddoris , hi there !
I must admit I was getting a bit worried.
No need to apologise. It's hard when we're all at different stages. There's no right or wrong way to approach it.
I've been there, when you're back off holiday and just want to carry on. You'll find your own way, don't worry.

Evening All, good and bad news!

Bad news, I stopped off at off licence after work. Good news I bought 4 bottles of 4% beer and not a 12 or 13% bottle of wine.

This is progress for me, usually I buy a bottle of wine and drink it with a binge of junk food, almost in a self harming type of way, like out of control! Tonight I've drank 2 bottles of beer with a proper dinner and I feel much more measured.

I said I'd post my good, bad and ok days. Friday and Saturday were good days, today is an OK day, I'm OK with that for today. See what tomorrow brings.

@Manyrivers , that's good. I would say that's progress, too. It's exactly the type of thing I should do. Actually, I do sometimes. A while back, instead of buying 2 bottles of wine, I bought 1 bottle and 4 beers. So quite similar!
I should have done that yesterday.
This Saturday when we go for a meal, I'm going to try to not have wine and have a couple of long drinks instead.
I've been fed up today - tired, a bit grumpy. I even shouted at my dog - that made me feel awful. We're friends again now !! 🤣

Well managed to stay AF all last week as planned and lost 7.5 lbs too !! (Was trying as getting married soon)
Back on the AF this evening and seriously it's been the worst.
Not sure if my dd hasn't helped as she's challenging atm, but honestly I've snapped at everyone to the point of behaviour like a child having a paddy myself.I need to apologise I think.
This is how I expected to feel last week amd it's horrible ..... not doing this every Monday night might just give up completely (but sadly I won't ).
Sending good vibes to all and will now catch up with all your inspiration / motivation.
Hugs to all who are feeling pants like me this evening x

Definitely an accomplishment. Well done @Manyrivers I'd own that! I wish I liked beer more. Well done for only drinking 2.

I'm only on day 2 and it's been so tough.My kids have played up I've felt overwhelmed by the laundry, errands, cooking a million different dinners. They are all at a mentally if not a physically demanding age. My 13 year old told me his evening I'd ruined her life on Saturday because I was asleep and she had to watch the others. I sobbed, again. Turned out she wasn't that annoyed just wanted paying and was hapoy as larry all evening. I must stress this isnt a usual scenario. Got terrible news about an hour or so ago. Main thing is just about to hit the sack ready for day 3 and I haven't caved. Life is tough. Going to bed to dream of drinking a cocktail on a secluded beach ⛱️

I hope you have a restful sleep or a good day. Wherever you are.

@Orlakeepsmiling , hope you had a good night's sleep and are feeling OK this morning. Well done on Day 3 and kudos for not caving in yesterday. Just take one day at a time, you can do it. The earliest days are the hardest I think. @Easterdaffsx , well done on staying af last week..and on the weight loss. That's brilliant.
All good here. Even though I drank Sunday (2 bottles), I'm still within my quota for week 1. I just didn't want to binge drink but it's ok because that's now my target for this week. I'll be af til Saturday.
Have a great day, everyone. ❤️

First Tues I haven't had a drink after choir for as long as I can remember 😊 Hope everyone else is doing ok.

@colouringindoors , that's good, well done. It's all about breaking those habits.
I walked to work so only took my house keys. No money, cards so no temptation to buy anything! It worked. I'm going to do the same today, as I'm ok once I'm in.

Definitely about breaking habits and old routine! Well done. The sense of achievement is better than the hangover. I was really tired yesterday but went into town to raid home bargains for treats and smellies for the house. Avoided buying anything naughty and wasn't fussed. A lady rang from a local support centre and really upset me. Told me that it was very dangerous to suddenly stop drinking incase I seizure. Then asked me for my details, then the details of all my children! I got very upset and refused as it said the service was confidential. I'm panicking now though as she has my address. Her call had the complete opposite affect it should have done! I drank a bottle of wine in sheer panic on both accounts. Although I felt shocking this morning - I took my very happy well fed kids to school and have reset. I won't be using their services! I know their are risks but cutting down by 10% a week isn't an option when I'm starting a new job on Monday. I feel sick about such a new challenge but grateful for the chance and distraction. Well done if you've read all that and thanks for your support x

@Orlakeepsmiling , sounds awful. Doesn't sound right at all. A friend of mine ( never met personally, met online via a support group), had a very similar experience when she hit rock bottom and had to give up. She was really upset because the support worker was really forceful and quite insulting. She just ignored her future efforts to get in touch ( and has actually been sober for about 2 years now).
Well, you've inspired me this morning. I slept absolutely dreadfully ( probably menopause), and all night, and this morning, I've been thinking I'm going to go to home bargains, get some bits and maybe wine ( tennis on tonight, and if I can't sleep sober, I might as well drink - those kind of irrational thoughts!).
But now, I'm going to do what you did - buy some radox, some treats, something af ( Pepsi max or hot chocolate), and look forward to a lovely evening and another ✅, so thank you.
You're going to be fine in your new job, by the way 💯

@Amdone123 Do it! Get marshmallows too. I'm glad I've inspired someone. I was so drained this morning I got back into bed. The cat is thrilled and it's probably my last chance of daytime nap for a long time. You've inspired me for a bath & hot chocolate tonight. Menopause is creeping up here too. Another reason to cut right down. Makes symptoms so much worse doesn't it. I hope everyone is having a good day.

Hi Everyone,

I loved reading the updates tonight, well done @Amdone123 @Orlakeepsmiling @colouringindoors and to anyone else who has continued to fight on.

I had an AF free night last night, actually walked into the supermarket on my way home from work with buying wine in mind, but took one look at the massive checkout queue and walked out empty handed, result!

Tonight I thought a lot about stopping off at the off licence after work, didn't! Came home and didn't take my coat off for a while whilst I contemplated going back out, didn't! I'm currently sipping some water and waiting for my takeaway to arrive. Usually a takeaway is paired with alcohol for me and no other way. Tonight I'm breaking that habit.

I need to get a normal relationship back with both food and alcohol and stop using them both as a reward or coping tool. Food is just that, and wine just what it is. Its neither good nor bad, it won't make me happy and won't help me achieve anything. This is the way I need to grow my mind and outlook. Today I'm committing to keep trying. Wishing everyone a peaceful evening ✨️

Good work @Manyrivers Another habit change. No one can deny that a wine with food is the best, but can be equally as tasty without. It's surprising how easy and rewarding it can be once we our minds to it. I'm feeling rested after my lazy (ish) day. Trying not to beat myself up over the stumble last night. Usually I have drank 4 bottles of wine since Saturday so one is a win. I'm not even fussed tonight. The support lady rang again today and I turned down their services. So glad I did as I found out social services rang the head teacher of a friends daughters school on her when she reached out to them. She was mortified. I could never cope with that.

@Orlakeepsmiling , that's awful - no wonder people don't reach out for help if that happens. Glad you had a good, lazy - ish day ! @Manyrivers , so much of what you do and say resonates with me ! As much as I sometimes want to drink, I can also quite easily turn my back on it. I surprise myself sometimes 🤣.
Well, obviously I was inspired and determined this morning to not drink. And yet, still, walking home, I thought I'd pick something up.
I've wondered about this quite a lot - I can be so determined but as the day goes on, I'm so easily swayed. Does anyone else do this ? Does anyone know why ?
Anyway, I didn't buy any. I started thinking about something else ( not intentionally), and before I knew it, the moment, and opportunity, passed. So, all good here.
I'll be ok tomorrow as it's so cold here, I've no intention to go out so no temptation.

@Manyrivers 100%. Many call this the wine witch. Its like a 5pm calling isn't it. It's definitely about habits as much as temptation. I think if you can push through early evening the rest is easy sailing. Tonight I've been so present with my kids, reading and talking about what they learnt at school. I'm not saying that I don't ever want to have a few wines with friends or while watching a film but a massive penny has dropped for me this week. I feel like I never want to drink more than a few large wines ever again. Although I'm sure that'll change after a few with the girls 🤪

Hi all!!!
sorry for my silence!!!! I’ve been busy and keep meaning to post and then forget!!!!
how are you @Amdone123?? I’ve missed chatting and hearing how you are!!! And @Determineddoris bless you, be kind to yourself! We are all only doing our best!!!

all is well with me!!!!! Still doing my sober March, have still only had 4 drinks this year on two occasions! Which blows my mind!!!!! Managed a sober evening out last weekend! Dinner and a cocktail bar!!!! I’d driven so could have had one but I’m trying to embrace sobriety in all situations!!! I had a great night and it was lovely not to have any social anxiety the next day!!!!

hope everyone is doing ok!? @Hohofortherobbers how are you!? And @Manyrivers it’s been good catching up on how you’re doing!!! Few new names since I last dipped out so hello @Orlakeepsmiling and @colouringindoors

moving forward will try and post more regularly! Horrible once you fall out of the habit xx

Hi everyone - im still on track having got to 22 days AF now. Although i dont want wine i am missing the ritual of the 6 o’clock nibbles and refreshment which was a bad habit i got into so im still early days here.

on another note had hoped to drop a few pounds of weight having had no wine but still the same 🤷‍♀️

@Orlakeepsmiling "The 5pm Wine Witch", I love that concept!

@bilbodog , you're doing really well. 22 days is really good. It's great you're not missing the wine.
I wouldn't worry about the weight issue - though I know it's frustrating. The weight loss will come I think. I am quite lucky because I do tend to lose when I stop. Keep going, you're smashing it.
So cold here. It's a hot chocolate day for me.

@Amdone123

thanks for the support. Its very cold here too - hot chocolate a great idea!

Hello all I’m still doing well with the moderating - we always have alcohol in the house so there’s always the opportunity to drink more but I haven’t drink more than 1/2 bottle of wine in an evening for a long time now. It’s just this pesky glass every evening that I’m struggling with. I actually think I’m letting myself do it more often because I know I’ll stop after 1 or 2 so the hangover fear is not there to stop me! But even 1 or 2 glasses has an effect and I know I feel
better if I’ve had none.

Hi everyone
Still on track here with plan for AF weekdays despite a rocky start !
Lii ok bing the idea of 5pm Winewitch that's exactly my trigger .... cooking tea after work but am determined to break the weekday habit . Was having a bottle most nights .
Well ... I'm now 8lbs down after not even two weeks yet . Also following the Fast800 Keto as well as ditching the alcohol in the week so must be bonkers ! Wedding in less than five months though and still 9lbs to shift.
Watching all the thread nightly and great inspiration all of you thanks

@Easterdaffsx wow that's a brilliant loss! I seem to be swspping wine for choc/snacks but will try and reduce those once I've got into more of a routine with moderation....

AF all week. And unusually have earlyish starts Sat and Sun so more of an incentive not to finish the bottle....

Well done everyone on the 22+ days v impressive.