Page 13 | 1 day sober

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 2023-01-03T12:36:42+00:00

I didn't have a drink last night for the first time in months. I have a problem, and I really want to make some changes. I'm 43 and I suppose alcohol has been an issue on and off since my early 20s, with periods of sobriety for the duration of three pregnancies. Otherwise, i have managed the odd week off here and there but it always escalates again. I am overweight, unfit and feel dreadful, constantly tired and anxious. Drinking, on average two thirds of a bottle of wine or cava a night, much more over Xmas. I just can't do it any more. My kids need me to be better than this. I'm looking into both Smart Recovery and AA. Can anyone recommend some good podcasts that might help? Thank you.

aswellascanbeexpected · 13/03/2023 15:00

I'm back!
Being honest,the weeks around the anniversary of my DH's death were pretty hard and I ended up drowning my feelings on too many occassions, especially after finding a case of wine in the shed that had been stashed away sometime in 2021 before he died.
But I'm here, and have climbed back on the wagon.
I've got enough to cope with without beating myself up because I 'gave up giving up' for a few weeks, but it's back to moderation and my cordials of choice!
Happy to extend a hand to pull up anyone else that wants to clamber back aboard.

fuchsteufelswild · 19/03/2023 01:12

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 11/03/2023 23:43

How are things going @rogueone ?

Hope everyone is holding up ok. I'm still dry but life has been bloody challenging these last couple of weeks.

Am starting to think about when I might reintroduce moderate drinking. I would like to drink a handful of times a year, maybe just outside the house. I just don't want to end up back where I was.

How's everyone else?

Honestly? You've come so far, why not abstain? You're absolutely right you'll be back on day 1 before long. Moderate drinking doesn't work - at least it doesn't in the sense that those who can drink don't need to and those who need to can't drink.

Do you really think you can moderate with all this stuff going on? Moderation won't provide escapism but it will make it even harder to control.

DF's an alcoholic. You've shown you can cope while sober, that's a big deal you can take pride in. Keep doing it because it obviously works better than drinking even though it might not feel that way.

Original poster

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 19/03/2023 22:02

Hello @rogueone. Totally understandable that you'd feel like this. Well done for getting back on the wagon.

OP posts:

rogueone · 20/03/2023 13:22

hi TooManyPlatesInMotion all
os ok over here. I think I have accepted though that I need to abstain as moderation or attempts to only drink socially is a challenge so I know I need to deal with the unhappy situation at home. DH is looking at things for us to do and he has his last immunotherapy treatment on Friday which is a big day as it has been nearly 4 years since this nightmare started. Scary as he will have subsequent scans and follow ups but he physically and mentally should start feeling stronger- so we will see

hope all is ok with everyone else

onelife22 · 31/03/2023 21:05

Back for day 1...again. Life has been TOUGH and got the better (worse) of me. Time to start looking after myself again...

Dandelions18 · 13/04/2023 13:38

Hi, I'm new here (thread was recommended by the lovely @rogueone)

I was drinking up to 2 bottles of wine a day. Today is my second day sober. Having on and off headaches and sleeping isn't great but I know I NEED to do this. I am frightened that I have already done too much damage as I get niggling abdominal pains/discomfort, but I also know the liver heals quickly (if you've not damaged it permanently) so I am going to see how I feel after 4 weeks abstinence and then visit the GP for bloods if still the same.

I have stopped for a month before but it's been a problem for the past 9 years (plus also during my teen years).

I feel so bad that the majority of my teenage children's lives they have been used to me drinking wine every night. I really am struggling with the guilt and I'm not sure how to make things right or even if I can. I have (I believe anyway) a great relationship with them but I know deep down this will have affected them. I think they're just too nice to tell me that I'm a disgrace and an embarrassment. I can't go back and change it now so these will always be their memories of growing up and I cannot believe I have done this to them...I am in tears thinking about it. I love them so much (they are the reason I'm stopping) but yet I put them second to alcohol for years? Convinced myself they still went to clubs and holidays, we get on so it's not that bad - usual addiction denial.

Sorry I didn't mean to go on for so long (and be so full of self pity!!!)

Tedjewell · 13/04/2023 16:08

AA is good and I would recommend it. Sort of what you do in AA is become rigorously honest and working on your flaws and try to clear away the wreckage of the past and then help other alcoholics trying to get sober

Original poster

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 13/04/2023 18:08

Hello @Dandelions18 and welcome!

Don't be cruel to yourself; the key thing is that you are now taking action, and it will get easier. I am no stranger to the guilt - mine are younger than yours and by the time I stopped I felt like I was constantly mildly irritated with them, and not at all able to enjoy the fun bits.

I stopped in v early Jan, intending to do a month. I then carried on, but planned to drink at a dinner we were hosting on Easter Sunday. When it came round, I didn't want to but did it anyway as thought everyone expected me too. I had wine - not huge quantities tbh, maybe just under a bottle. I didn't enjoy it. Am now back on the sober wagon. It was a really useful experience for me as it confirmed to me that I fundamentally do not want the stress, anxiety, guilt and cost of booze! Up until that point, I was always half looking forward to having another drink at some point. I feel that I have closed the door on thst now, at least in the short and medium terms. I got nothing from it.

OP posts:

rogueone · 18/04/2023 12:16

How are you all?

I finally went to the GP and discussed options as I thought I may require HRT. Turns out treatment is symptom based so I have started on anti depressants. They wiped me out but I have to say they have made a huge difference in a short space of time. I don't have any pangs for alcohol, I feel more energised and feel more positive. It is really strange but I wish I had done this last year.

So will see if this makes a difference to my relationship with alcohol.

Dandelions18 · 18/04/2023 13:57

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 13/04/2023 18:08

Hello @Dandelions18 and welcome!

Don't be cruel to yourself; the key thing is that you are now taking action, and it will get easier. I am no stranger to the guilt - mine are younger than yours and by the time I stopped I felt like I was constantly mildly irritated with them, and not at all able to enjoy the fun bits.

I stopped in v early Jan, intending to do a month. I then carried on, but planned to drink at a dinner we were hosting on Easter Sunday. When it came round, I didn't want to but did it anyway as thought everyone expected me too. I had wine - not huge quantities tbh, maybe just under a bottle. I didn't enjoy it. Am now back on the sober wagon. It was a really useful experience for me as it confirmed to me that I fundamentally do not want the stress, anxiety, guilt and cost of booze! Up until that point, I was always half looking forward to having another drink at some point. I feel that I have closed the door on thst now, at least in the short and medium terms. I got nothing from it.

Thank you so much.

It's been 8 days since my last drink! I feel really tired but my headaches are gone. Trying to get a doctors appointment to have a liver function test as I have some symptoms of liver damage. I will hopefully manage to get one soon but until then I'm swinging between mildly optimistic to terrified!

I have been much more proactive at home. Thought I would have lost a bit of weight this week without so much wine but I've been eating so much I've not dropped a pound!

MY mental health has definitely improved and I feel more positive (albeit scared of blood test results).

Hi @rogueone glad you're feeling ore positive too 🙂

Original poster

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 18/04/2023 15:18

Well done @Dandelions18 😊

OP posts:

rogueone · 18/04/2023 18:56

Dandelions18 · 18/04/2023 13:57

Thank you so much.

It's been 8 days since my last drink! I feel really tired but my headaches are gone. Trying to get a doctors appointment to have a liver function test as I have some symptoms of liver damage. I will hopefully manage to get one soon but until then I'm swinging between mildly optimistic to terrified!

I have been much more proactive at home. Thought I would have lost a bit of weight this week without so much wine but I've been eating so much I've not dropped a pound!

MY mental health has definitely improved and I feel more positive (albeit scared of blood test results).

Hi @rogueone glad you're feeling ore positive too 🙂

Show quote history

your doing amazingly. funny enough it was a health check that led to me to sort myself out, increased cholesterol and high blood pressure. Made me refocus as i realised my consumption was almost a form of self harm.

stay strong!

Dandelions18 · 18/04/2023 19:22

rogueone · 18/04/2023 18:56

your doing amazingly. funny enough it was a health check that led to me to sort myself out, increased cholesterol and high blood pressure. Made me refocus as i realised my consumption was almost a form of self harm.

stay strong!

Show quote history

Yes, self harm is exactly it! I do not look after my body at all, I have no idea how I'm still alive if I'm being honest.

I called the GP surgery 54 times today before I gave up trying to get through. Tomorrow I will keep calling even if it takes me all day. I need to know how bad it is.

I have not had the urge to drink at all and have put myself in several situations where I would normally definitely drink (at a friends who was drinking, in restaurants) and I didn't hesitate because all I can feel are these symptoms of a damaged liver.

rogueone · 19/04/2023 09:06

Dandelions18 you are really doing brilliantly. Keep at the GP,

gemini45 · 14/07/2023 09:13

Hey just wondered how people are doing on this now? It's summer and the inclination to sit with a glass in the sunshine is never stronger. But I'm now drinking too much too easily so time to stop. Need to stop craving a drink, craving the 'switch off' destress which only becomes self hatred and more stress when it builds up to a full bottle of wine being a starter. Times are stressful but drinking is not helping.

I've never discussed alcohol with HC professionals before but I do have an appointment with mental health nurse on Monday - wondering if I should. I have anti depressants ( for years) and recently sleeping pills due to extreme stress/anxiety but not using these any more.

I guess alcohol is a way of not having to feel.

rogueone · 03/08/2023 11:56

@gemini45 I have had a tough time but been seeing my GP and am back on track.

rogueone · 03/08/2023 11:59

I was symptom managing for and dealing with major life stressors with a sick DH but it was affecting my family and I was becoming a functioning alcoholic which is not where I need to be. A bit of a wake up call for me

Original poster

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 03/08/2023 15:13

Hello! I lasted 4 months or so sober then fell off the wagon. I'm trying to get back on. It is terrifying how fast it just becomes a habit.

OP posts:

magnolia1997 · 03/08/2023 17:45

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 03/08/2023 15:13

Hello! I lasted 4 months or so sober then fell off the wagon. I'm trying to get back on. It is terrifying how fast it just becomes a habit.

4 months is a long time and a big success.

One day at a time...

Original poster

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 04/08/2023 09:38

Thanks @magnolia1997

OP posts:

SoberIsTheNew50 · 04/08/2023 16:48

Today is my Day 1.

happy to join the thread if you will have me

rogueone · 07/08/2023 15:48

@SoberIsTheNew50 welcome...you are in the right place