1 day sober

[TooManyPlatesInMotion]

I didn't have a drink last night for the first time in months. I have a problem, and I really want to make some changes.

I'm 43 and I suppose alcohol has been an issue on and off since my early 20s, with periods of sobriety for the duration of three pregnancies. Otherwise, i have managed the odd week off here and there but it always escalates again.

I am overweight, unfit and feel dreadful, constantly tired and anxious. Drinking, on average two thirds of a bottle of wine or cava a night, much more over Xmas. I just can't do it any more. My kids need me to be better than this.

I'm looking into both Smart Recovery and AA.

Can anyone recommend some good podcasts that might help?

Thank you.

day 1 for me today...i started my exercise yesterday and have done my workout this morning. Wednesday is a good day as I have a live 6pm weights workout so it focusses my mind and afterwards feel brill. Sparkling water is at the ready and I will be in bed early. Well done to those who have started already

Well done to you all having a go at quitting alcohol. I gave up in August and it's been a real game changer. I was drinking a bottle of wine a night - more if it was available! I had no off switch 🫣 anyway I started having blackouts and knew I needed to stop. I am currently reading William porters book Alcohol Explained and have been listening to sobersassymum podcasts. I did used to listen to sober Dave then there was some weird stuff that went on and he left his wife (who has cancer) and started having some mid life crisis in his male pad so I gave him a swerve!! 😆 take each day as a little step forward. No such thing as moderation (tried and failed many times). Good luck to you all xx

I went to bed early last night and had a really great sleep. Have felt really flat today though, I can't really explain it, I just feel a bit down. Got a few things to do this evening and then planning to get another early night if possible.

glad you’re still hanging in there, great work! This is my day 2 and I’m going for a bath in a moment to pass time before I can legitimately go to bed with a cuppa. It feels so boring yet that’s ridiculous! I could literally get in my car now and drive anywhere which I don’t remember being able to do past 8pm for ages. Anyway no drink today, woop

i totally get that flat feeling, it’s like I’m missing my bestie in a bottle and can’t settle!

Hi all,

Just came across this thread in Active Conversations and just wanted to say well done to everyone who has made the decision to try sobriety, and I promise you it DOES get easier. I have been largely sober for quite a while now thought with the occasional lapse over the years, and my husband has also been for the last 3 months or so (I have to say it does help hugely if you can both do it....)

I feel much healthier, more clear headed and able to enjoy things than I did when I was drinking. SMART really helped me - helps me still in fact - and I would recommend the SMART Recovery handbook as a great introduction to the methods/thinking behind it. You can use this alongside meetings or on its own if you prefer. It's CBT based and for me worked better than AA because there isn't the pressure to define yourself as An Alcoholic in quite the same way (tho obviously AA is great for many people).

Anyway, enough of me rambling, but good luck everyone! If you are having withdrawals they will decrease in intensity quite soon, and pass in a week or so probably. Meanwhile be kind to yourselves and treat yourselves to whatever you can afford - new book, new nail polish, some cake - whatever you love! XXX

Hi all, glad to see you are all feeling the benefits.

I've not missed it tonight, and I think I'm lucky that I'm evidently not physically addicted. I've been drinking way (way) over the safe amount for months now, for me it is escapism and quiets my thoughts so I've tried to keep busy. I've downloaded the app, quite sobering(!) to see how much I spend and how many calories!

Good luck to everyone following this thread. I'm going to look for the daily benefits of giving up alcohol.

Thank you for checking in.
I actually ‘failed’ last night. Something was happening, nothing serious, but I just felt a bit down and thought ‘fuck it’ and before I knew it I’d started drinking and ordered a takeaway.
That quote about the next day being harder make a lot of sense to me too. But when I think about it I think drinking and being hungover makes my days easier too. I just don’t have the energy to care when hungover. I can’t engage with work fully or family life and tell myself that I’ll make up for it the next day. In that way, it’s easier. I try less. I need to work out what makes life feel so tricky that I keep seeking my escape.

Tonight was ok. Normally 1-3 nights are. It’s after that I really struggle.

I have 8kg to lose as well as a target. It’s not great timing to do it together but my weight situation is getting me down, and I think was contributing to my ‘I don’t care about my body’ attitude. so: I want to go for it.

That’s a lot about me!
its great to hear of everyone’s experiences so far. It helps. Hoping everyone sleeps well.

Hi all does anyone mind if I join?

I'm another bottle of wine a night person - more at the weekends if I open the vodka too to chase it down. Always been a drinker but it's been like this daily now for about 18 months. I've gained two stone.

So here I am doing DJ. Day 5 - have a rotten cold so not actually feeling any benefits whatsoever. Feel a little spaced out today but otherwise fine.

I made myself accountable by telling everyone I know oh I'm doing DJ this year to lose some weight. But this is the longest I haven't drunk for in a LONG time.

How long is everyone finding it takes to actually feel some benefits?

Granted I'm not waking up feeling sick but I'm really tired.

Glad you're all doing well so far - would be great to share this journey so I have some support. @Lightsbonaza you haven't failed - you've still stayed sober for longer than usual. Just get back on the saddle!

First day is done...now i need to focus on staying off it. I always find day 4 and 5 the toughest and especially the weekends.

Lightsbonaza dont beat yourself up, it takes time to make big changes and we will all have occassions we dip back into old habits

If no one has mentioned it try the ebook, Alcohol Explained, by William Porter.

Also have a look at youtube at some videos explaining what alcohol does to your body, handy if you are experiencing a craving.

Well done for facing the facts OP. The journey starts here. I can echo the recommendation for The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober and would also suggest the Sober Powered podcast, which goes into the brain science of using alcohol.

I gave up for most of 2021 and a few months beforehand, but I've been on the bottle again since last Feb and now I'm back at square one. For a while I was able to moderate fairly successfully but slowly the heavier drinking returned: even though I'm still able to have several days a week off, on Monday I always feel like crap.

It's so, so difficult when you see your friends moderating fairly well - or at least not seeming to suffer many consequences - when I always end up paying such a heavy price.

I really wish I could persuade my husband to quit with me and share the journey together. I also worry about the health consequences for him. We really enjoy aspects of drinking together and it's always been my stumbling block.

I haven't quite decided what I'm doing now. Should I really commit to quit or try again to keep it within limits? Which is actually most realistic?!? I haven't drunk since Jan 2, so I could be a Dry Jan late bloomer, but it's my birthday next week and I don't know if I'm ready.

Good on all of you new to this for recognising a problem and taking steps to change.
I stopped drinking at the beginning of September. I found Alcohol Explained, the Sobermummy blog, and the Offdry blog all very helpful. I also read Jason Vale's book but it's need of a good editor got on my nerves a bit, though it had some useful bits too.

I had tried and failed to moderate for some time. I really identify with what Kristi of the Offdry blog says herehere where she says 'I didn’t want to stop drinking. I wanted to stop wanting to drink. Because then the stopping itself would be as easy as avoiding spin class or olives or pointy-toed shoes or Ryan Reynolds movies or anything else I didn’t like.'

But actually I feel like I have pretty much stopped wanting to drink now. I was still tempted when everyone else was having their first glass of champagne on Christmas day. I was still tempted after a huge row with my sister. But I have the better skin better sleep better energy levels better running to offset against that feeling now. But the only way to get those is to just stop and stay stopped.

So hang on in there. The good bit will come

Third day and first day back at work. Had a bad enough anxiety headache anyway without the addition of alcohol head. Tutor is arriving for my DD and this would normally signal me pouring a glass but tonight I'm staying strong and resisting.

I'm missing it tonight too. Actually had a good day at work and usually I would use this excuse to celebrate (any excuse - bad day, good day, busy day etc etc).
I just ache all over and have been exceptionally tired. When does this rush of energy turn up?!

However crap I feel - still resisting though. This thread helps.

Anyone else insanely thirsty??

Hope you're all doing well.

Evening everyone. This is a really helpful thread. Still clinging on to sobriety here.

@NCgoingdry I am also really thirsty. I don't really drink anything other than water, tea and coffee (and loads of booze obvs). Struggling to find soft drinks that i really like.

@twistyizzy well done for staying strong tonight.

@Brandyb welcome. I find people who can moderate a bit bewildering. I can moderate, but then over the course of a few weeks it just creeps back up again and i am right back to my usual amounts and, increasingly, even more. I wish i could take it or leave it, but the truth is I love booze and drinking. It just doesn't love me back.

@Lightsbonaza you haven't failed! I don't thing progress is linear and the key thing is you are being honest with yourself and trying to make changes.

I've collapsed on the sofa and am watching Traitors on the BBC. Entertaining enough to be a distraction but not too demanding or depressing.

Tired and thirsty and really grumpy, but holding on.

Well done everyone. Let's keep going.

Hi op I don’t have any advice I just wanted to say it’s so brave and admirable you have took this step and I wish you the best of luck on your journey . My mum is currently in the grip of alcoholism but refuses help and doesn’t think she has a problem so hopefully one day soon she will realise and see people like you are an inspiration good luck hun xxx

My DM celebrates 15 years of sobriety this year. 44 years! Wow ... my DM's only regret is she didn't get sober sooner.

OP - I am a child of an alcoholic and I am also an alcoholic, but I too am sober.

1st step is admitting you have a problem.

AA works for many many addicts and SMART recovery is on the top list too.

One day at a time you can do this, but not alone. Reach out to AA .. you'll be amazed .... there are quite a few of us knocking around.

Day 3 here. Just feeling really tired, off now for a shower and then another early night. I've got through the past few nights by just picking a couple of small things I need to do and getting them done and then getting an early night. I feel quite overwhelmed with life at the moment as I have a mountain of things that I need to do, but at least getting a couple of emails sent or bills paid in the evenings makes me feel I'm doing something. I guess when I was drinking a bottle of wine or more a night I just forgot all about all those things that needed done and they just built up even more and made me even more anxious when the alcohol wore off.

I guess Friday night will be the biggest test of the week, but hopefully we can all check in with each other on here.

Thank you @tonystarksrighthand and well done to both you and your mum. It is so good to hear that people do get through this. I will look at both AA and Smart Recovery - the fact that both now offer online meetings is a big help tbh.

@confusedlots well done. Yes, I'm also a bit anxious about Fri and the weekend in general. I'll definitely be checking in.

@staciea31 thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate it. I very much hope your DM accepts some help soon.

I've been hungry today, but then I'm not consuming as many calories, I've been eating protein rich food to fill me up.

I do think that people can have an unhealthy relationship/problem with alcohol and not be alcoholics but I know this view is contentious.

What's your plan for the weekend?

The weekend... Lots of ferrying the kids around, dog walks. Some exercise (i'm pathetically unfit). The plan is to wear myself out so that by the time i get to the evenings I am ready to just sleep. I'm going to make sure i am away from pubs and restaurants, that's for sure.

Hi all. I just wanted to give you all my support. Getting sober/moderating call it what you want, is hard. When I read these posts I see bits of myself on all of them. I am now 1 year sober. It has been tough but the benefits never stop.
Honestly, at the beginning,I was looking at people extolling the virtues of sobriety like they had gone mad. I didn't think I could ever do it. I have had a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol but it really ramped up over the last 5 years, barely a night I didn't drink.

I remember so vividly waking up with 'beer fear' sweating and hating myself.

Alcohol does make you think you can 'cope' but the problems are still there. I can promise you, when you are sober you can deal with anything. I know this because I have done it, for the first time I can trust myself and I actually like myself. The sleep, the clear head, the weight loss, despite mainlining chocolate and sweets. It is all so worth it. I would say it took about a week for my head to feel clear and 3 for my sleep to return to normal.

If anyone is interested I can give you a few tips and tell you about the books that helped me. I tried AA but didn't like it but, I know lots do.

Anyway, well-done it does get easier. Be kind to yourself, don't set any goals, hour by hour or day by day is enough for now.