1 day sober

[TooManyPlatesInMotion]

I didn't have a drink last night for the first time in months. I have a problem, and I really want to make some changes.

I'm 43 and I suppose alcohol has been an issue on and off since my early 20s, with periods of sobriety for the duration of three pregnancies. Otherwise, i have managed the odd week off here and there but it always escalates again.

I am overweight, unfit and feel dreadful, constantly tired and anxious. Drinking, on average two thirds of a bottle of wine or cava a night, much more over Xmas. I just can't do it any more. My kids need me to be better than this.

I'm looking into both Smart Recovery and AA.

Can anyone recommend some good podcasts that might help?

Thank you.

@illiterato Really proud of you - that's amazing. I used to work on the same thought processes - like I know I've got this "thing" coming up and I'll definitely drink then - so may as well carry on. It's like self sabotage. Or an excuse. I don't know. But either way it's a dreadful habit I've gotten in to.

@Ceecee1983 Best advice I got on here was tell yourself "I'm not going to drink TODAY". Worry about tomorrow when it comes. But focus on today. And repeat. It's got me through some serious cravings.

@onelife22 Honestly I don't know. My husband won't drink for a whole year because he just really can't be arsed - doesn't see the point in it. I would love to be able to have a life where alcohol doesn't take up so much headspace.

Nothing much to report here. I'm going to bed super early where possible to avoid sitting there wishing I was drunk. I just keep having to remind myself every morning - you don't feel like shit, or feel sick, or have a headache. You don't feel anxious, worried, ashamed. If you had drunk, then you would feel all that.

Well done @illiterato 👏

Not much going on here. I am braced for my youngest's 4th bday party this weekend. Normally, I would get through and then "reward" myself by knocking back a bottle of wine that evening. I know I'll be tempted but I'm going to put a film on in the evening instead and get an early night. Or maybe spend some time trying to plan a break/short holiday later in the year with the £ I am saving (a shameful amount tbh!).

Good morning. I hope everyone had a Good Friday and is feeling fresh today 👌🏻

@onelife22

First friday night sober in years!! Feels good to be fresh today. x

Ceecee1983 feels good doesn’t it!

well done!

I am day 18 now and my sleep is affected. I think it’s likely because I am going to bed early but I am waking two or three times a night and sat awake for 30-40 mins at 4am. I am
sticking with it as I know it can take time to adjust but is it happening to anyone else?

Morning everyone! Feeling fresh and heading into town to meet a friend for breakfast. Blue skies and sunshine in London

@rogueone I think what you describe is common and will pass. My sleep was quite disrupted too but has settled down over last 4 days or so.

Had a few wines yesterday as DH back ( he works overseas). Knew I would tbh so it was a planned cheat. Did wake up really hot at 2am ( actually got up to check the heating wasn’t still on) and didnt sleep well. Not hanging though and got out for a lovely run this morning on the beach. Onwards.

Day 10 for me and I sleep SO much.

Well done @Ceecee1983 how was it? Feels so good to be fresh on a Saturday morning doesn't it x

@illiterato good you still made it out for a run and weren't feeling too rough.

The sleep thing is what really makes me not want to drink. I've been sleeping so well this last week and I can't remember having a week of sleep this good for years (due to kids and wine)

Another day down-Did two works out and went out and about. Apart from that I get tired early
but during the day I am up and buzzing. Hadn’t appreciated how alcohol affected me during the day. Getting around 14000 steps in a day which had been a struggle before as I wfh. Need to start planning non alcohol related activities. I am even considering not drinking when I go out on the 4th Feb as I am liking the new me.

@rogueone I'm having the same problems with sleep, waking up in the night and struggling to get back to sleep. Whilst I'm less tired during certain parts of the day I also have this crippling exhaustion that sweeps over me. It hit me this afternoon, I would have had a gin to perk me up in the past but I had a nap instead.

@NCgoingdry I use the Try Dry App, it's by Alcohol Change and you get badges for moderation as well as staying sober.

I've not found Mon to Sat that tricky, I've had to work hard at it and I haven't eaten well so that is next. But Sundays are so so hard. I can feel it already.

ecdysis seems to be common on doing my research. Suppose it is understandable given alcohol induced sleep isn’t ideal. I get really tired early and want to head to bed. I am not worried about having any alcohol as I don’t want to undo all the good work so will see what happens when I reach the 4th which is my first outing

Wishing everyone a positive start to the week.

I got through another weekend, including a fairly hellish kids' party.

How's everyone else doing?

@TooManyPlatesInMotion I'm feeling good just wondering how long to count the days/weeks for.

I'm liking the accountability in the app but equally want it to be more normal I'm not drinking rather than counting the days away..

@onelife22 I am using the I Am Sober app, more because I like to track the financial savings as opposed to the days. Just booked a massage with some of my savings!

TooManyPlatesInMotion brilliant!

Weekends are the toughest. I researched the best zero alcohol wines, got some yesterday and they were disgusting so chucked it out. So back on the sparkling water.

Kids party's, I don't think my friends or I ever managed a sober one, good going @TooManyPlatesInMotion

In hindsight this should have been a red flag, kids parties=alcohol is a strong indication of a warped relationship.

@rogueone agree. I was given an expensive non alcohol free glass of wine by someone trying to pass it off as real wine. It smelt wrong, it tasted wrong. I think we all on this thread love wine/alcohol so fake replacement doesn't really work.

Just a question for you all, since when did Sundays have so many hours in them?

@Ecydsis Sunday's are the longest day of my life right now so I'm feeling that. Even though it's tough - when Monday rolls around I feel quite proud of myself.

I'm well and truly off the diet wagon this week too. I feel like I need to treat myself and not with alcohol.

I'm out on Thursday - and I know I'll drink because it's a big and long awaited event. But I don't want to feel like shit and ashamed of myself on Friday so I'm going to try my damned hardest not to get carried away.

@TooManyPlatesInMotion I don't think I've ever done a kids party and not had a drink to get through the hell. You've done that and a weekend with your parents so I would genuinely say you're smashing this shit.

AF wines are terrible - literally nothing nice about any of them.

@onelife22 I know what you mean - instead of wishing dry January to be over you would rather your brain catch up and just enjoy this new normal of not sinking a bottle of wine every night.

Thanks for the app recommendations I'm going to have a go using it for February.

As we head towards the end of DJ I would have drunk twice. Not 31 times. I've not had in excess of 35 bottles of wine (at least) and probably half a litre in whiskey. Really hoping I can do this again in Feb.

As I get older I find "The Deal" with alcohol an increasingly bad one. If I were to drink heavily one night now I would honestly feel poorly for 2 or even 3 days, not just physically poorly but mentally depressed and anxious and jittery to the point where a day at work feels a month long, so for me it's no longer worth it, plus the joy of waking up feeling fine is actually quite addictive in itself, not to even mention the financial cost these days !

Sundays why is it Sundays! I am now at a stage where I am ensuring I make nice meals and treating myself. I am keeping fit and losing 2lbs a week and I am so happy as I realise that it was definitely alcohol and snacking that was preventing me from reaching my goal. I am now wondering if I should just stay stopped as it took over my life in an unhealthy way- so will see

Oh and also I did have a alcohol menopausal gut which wasn’t shifting previously either - already lost 4 inches off the waist

@Ecydsis I agree re the red flag of booze and kids' parties. I would generally hold off until after the party itself, but then would get home and "reward" myself for getting through it with vast amounts of wine. I am pleased with myself for not doing that and actually it wasn't too bad.

@rogueone I tried some alcohol free wine over the weekend. I got it from M & S and it cost about £7 so I had reasonably high expectations, which were immediately dashed. It tasted weirdly sulphuric. I just don't get the point of these booze free substitutes to be honest. I like tea, coffee, water and alcohol. If I don't drink the latter in the evenings then I am best off just sticking with water, or the occasional hot chocolate in front of the TV.

@rogueone very encouraged to hear that you have lost inches, well done. I also have a bit of a low hanging gut . . . . It really only appeared in the last year and I'm convinced it is both booze and hormone related.