1 day sober

[TooManyPlatesInMotion]

I didn't have a drink last night for the first time in months. I have a problem, and I really want to make some changes.

I'm 43 and I suppose alcohol has been an issue on and off since my early 20s, with periods of sobriety for the duration of three pregnancies. Otherwise, i have managed the odd week off here and there but it always escalates again.

I am overweight, unfit and feel dreadful, constantly tired and anxious. Drinking, on average two thirds of a bottle of wine or cava a night, much more over Xmas. I just can't do it any more. My kids need me to be better than this.

I'm looking into both Smart Recovery and AA.

Can anyone recommend some good podcasts that might help?

Thank you.

Count me in!

Yesterday was my first sober day/night in a long time and I'm really proud of myself. In the past when I've tried this it's day 3/4 that I usually break as I convince myself I've 'been good' and deserve it 🙈

I'm a 2 bottles of wine a night girl and sooooo ready to change. I've gained weight, hate how I look and just feel generally fed up that I've let a liquid get the better of me.

I weighed myself yesterday but have woken up heavier from not drinking, im guessing its some kind of water retention as my rings are tight too. I slept sounds for a full 8 hours, not done that in a while but I feel so much more tired and a like my brain is only running at 50% haha

I REALLY want to love myself again, I deserve it. It makes me upset how I've treated myself and im not sure why i have.

Good luck everyone and I'm so grateful to be on such a supportive page.

NCgoingdry are we twins 😂. I was cracking open the bubbly Christmas morning too!

Welcome @Ceecee1983 ! I also have a lot of booze-induced weight to lose. I have decided to park that issue for a bit and concentrate on the not drinking as trying to dealing with both at the same time just feels too grim.

I walked back from the school run this morning in the cold winter sun and actually felt reasonably clear headed, instead of running back frantically trying to remember all the stuff I have to do, head pounding, sweaty and anxious as hell. I try to hold on to these moments and remind myself this is why I am doing it!

@NCgoingdry i had the very vivid dreams too. They passed after a while - gradually became less frequent. I think it is to do with getting minimal REM sleep with alcohol in your system. So it is a sign that your sleep patterns are improving as REM sleep is so important.

I'm another one who can fairly lay my weight gain on my drinking habits. There are around 600 calories in a bottle of sauvignon blanc, and then when I've had a few, my inhibitions go too and I hit the cheese, toast, whatever, to soak up the alcohol.
BUT I am not focussing on weight loss, I am instead focussing on feeling better in myself, more restful sleep and being present, even it that means I have to deal with sad emotions too.

Amazing! I bet that felt good! Keep going, sounds like you're doing great xx

I get really vivid dreams and sleep talking and stuff. Hoping it lessens.

I'm in a bit of a slump this evening. I walked to the gym and went by one of my favourite bars on the way, it looked so cosy and inviting; I stood outside in the cold with my tongue practically stuck to the glass, salivating.... Gave myself a metaphorical slap round the face and went to the gym, even though all I wanted was to curl up in front of the fire with wine.

Returned home and DH hadn't bothered to do the few (small) tasks I had asked of him and was just messing around on his computer, leading to much festering resentment on my part and even more of a desire for wine. Lots of wine.

Anyway, I haven't had any. I've got into my Pjs, going to eat dinner and go to bed. It is bloody hard though. I need to just sit with it and wait for it to pass. Gradually realising this is a big issue for me - learning to sit with my emotions and trust they will past.

Thank goodness for each of you on here. I'm so grateful.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Evening all. I'm doing ok. I think I mentioned it before but I'm seeing alcohol differently now. I used to think it was a treat but now it was more a form of self sabotage.

I'm really frustrated with the minimal weight loss and my usual go to is F it I'm just going to drink wine as I can't lose weight when I don't drink it. I did have that feeling tonight but I'm thinking clearer and questioned why I would self sabotage like that when I'm doing so well without wine and eating well and exercising, regardless of the weight loss. Such a rollercoaster.

Well done @onelife22 . I think it can take a bit of time for your body to adjust and the weight to start to shift. I am still too scared to get on the scales!

I have managed not to have a drink and that is now day 15 whilst it has got a lot easier I could have easily poured a glass this evening. It’s strange as well as I keep waking up during the night and can’t get back to sleep. My weight gain was definitely booze related, a bottle came with crisps, cheese, meats etc etc. I am fit but the gut isn’t good and have a stone now to shift. I have focussed on getting my steps in and exercising and watching my calories. Another day under the belt- well done all

And well done to you too @TooManyPlatesInMotion for sitting with your emotions and not drowning them.
I had a very tiny blip earlier, as I literally had a sip of sherry. Then stopped.
I’d heard some sad news earlier about someone whose DH had just died, and then took a call from an old colleague with details of a forthcoming funeral for a workmate who’d died before Christmas.
So my reflex was to drown what I was feeling, but I stopped myself, so go me!
thank goodness for fizzy water and squash!

I’ve been following you. And today I’d have been having a drink as DH out. I haven’t, I did the dishes, went for a walk and now having a bath and a cup of tea. Got a horrid day work wise tomorrow but will be easier without the after fuzzy of 2 or 3 glasses of wine feeling. I’m trying to cut out the drinking for no reaso….the bored drinking. The

Hello @BarrelOfOtters .

Ah, that is great. Well done.

Drinking for any reason and for no reason.... Absolutely with you on this. It is just a deeply ingrained habit sometimes.

@aswellascanbeexpected that is really good. To be able to take a sip, check yourself and stop in your tracks is great. Well done. Sounds like a tough day. Hope you are ok.

Well done @TooManyPlatesInMotion You were faced with some triggers and didnt cave, thats amazing. Sitting with our emotions and cravings can be very hard, especially when we cant use our usual coping mechanism.

x

@rogueone Wow, well done!! 15 days is incredible🥳 Im the same as you, diet good all day then comes the wine which bring the card munchies - toast, butter, cheese, crisps, take away etc "I'll just starts again tomorrow". Tomorrow never came until it did, Im on day 3 today. Not a lot i know but i feel strong.

Good luck with everything xx

Ceecee1983 every day is a success - so reaching day 3 is just as amazing as 15. I really struggled the first weekend and it’s not been easy. I have found this thread to be brill as we are all in the same place .

Last night I got a glass of wine from the bar while my kids were at rugby, took one sip and left it. All my reasons for wanting it were wrong - kids were doing my head in with their bickering and disorganisation (just had to drive 5 miles back to school to get mouthguard) , "I need a treat", it feels a bit glamorous/ like I actually have a life .

Like a few others on this thread, I'm aiming for radical moderation - basically limit it to social occasions. I've made a lot of progress since September when I started this approach. Then I couldn't remember the last day I didn't drink at least one glass of wine. I tried a few total abstention approaches over the last few years (usually after a massive "I'll never drink again" hangover) but I found that then I would set myself up to fail because I'd start, and then think "well it's Jane's 40th in 3 weeks so I'll definitely fail then, so may as well drink every day between now and then too". Now I can think "I accept that I will probably have a few too many at Jane's 40th but I don't need to drink half a bottle of wine on a Monday night just to make Silent Witness half way watchable".

I know everyone's different and moderation doesn't work for everyone so not promoting this approach, just that the 90/10 psychology seems to be working for me. But as last night shows, I still have to be pretty careful not to fall back into the habit.

Well done to you all 💪💪💪

@aswellascanbeexpected well done you that's brilliant. You're doing so well and much stronger than me as if I had the taste I'd have probably carried on!

There are some really positive posts from yesterday, love it. Sorry I can remember everyone's user names to @ them but hearing these successes makes me believe I can keep this up for longer.

It's weird, 99% of the time I had no desire to drink again. Then something triggers me and right in that moment I NEED a drink. Does this feeling ever go away? They say it takes 30 days to form a new habit, I am just not sure 'that' feeling at trigger points will ever go...

@onelife22 it's really hard isn't it, when that 'sod it' thought hits you? So far, I've taken the 'surf it like a wave' approach and given the urge to drink time to pass, and also it helps to really think about what triggers me.
My triggers can be sadness, worry, boredom, feeling annoyed with someone or about something, habit, accessibilty (to a chilled bottle of white wine) or just a perverse reward for myself. Mainly, I think I drink to escape.
But I've realised the escape route is really a trap that results in self loathing and a failure to be present for my family, and realising I'm blotting out our good times together as well as the sad times.

illiterato fantastic that you managed to leave it after a sip. I know I need to be off it for a while or I know I will be straight back into daily drinking. I have a big do on the 4th Feb and I am going to wait and see how I feel when I reach that on whether I drink or not. I have had to decide whether I can truly moderate myself to only drinking socially. So only time will tell but I do hope so. Understanding my triggers is a huge step forward for me.

@aswellascanbeexpected completely agree. I've lost memories of some great times with my family and children through drinking more once I've got home from an event.

I already feel like I've been there more for my children and enjoyed them more this month. We've got so much done and I am less tired and snappy.