The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Adm1010]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life

Thankyou to bunnies for hosting the last thread.
And here’s to the next 40 pages

@Bestlife19 I wouldn't worry about being boring. If what you want to do right now is stay home, then do what you need to do and enjoy. I think you will either settle in to your new life and not miss nights out or you will find. Good place where you are comfortable to go out and enjoy in a different way. I spoke with my therapist about this yesterday and right now, I want to sleep and enjoy the day. I did go out with my mum friends this week and it was a lovely evening. If I'd been drinking I would have had more than I should have (2 is too many!) And felt bad afterwards. So I feel that yes I'm being boring right now but that suits me for the minute!

I'd like to join in this if I may! On dry day 27 and hoping to carry on into February and beyond. I'd got myself into the habit of drinking more or less every day, so just trying to step back from it a bit.

Thanks for the welcome, I really appreciate it.

On another forum, I have seen books by Annie Grace (I think) mentioned. Did anyone find those books or others helpful?

Hi, how do you cope when around drunk people?
My husband irritates me so much when he’s drunk and I’m sober. Sometimes I think fuck it, I’ll just drink so I don’t notice how bugging he is 🙈

@JillyC2022

I have read a few. Rock bottom, alcohol lied to me.
The latter i thought a bit blokey, the Bryony Gordon, shocking but very media (posh parties etc).
If you can get a copy of the AA big blue book it is more interesting in my opinion. And when you have read these and feel like shite, read Rachel's Holiday, Marion Keyes. Not sure if is based on her rehab experience but will make you laugh out loud (I love the frozen loaf scoffer).

I write a lot as it is part of my therapy.

Thanks for that @SavBbunny

Yes, I love Rachel's Holiday. She has a sequel coming out shortly.

Love Saint Marion

Congratulations @iamyourequal ! It’s amazing how quickly the days go when you look back on them, even if they feel so slow at the time.

Hello to all the new posters here! This place is where life changes for the better.

I picked up my husband’s g&t today instead of my AF one. He told me just as I took a mouthful. It tasted horrid. Won’t be making that mistake again.

Re quit lit - I have found scribd to be very useful. There’s a month’s free trial then it’s £11/month. Not affiliated, I just like it. Anyway, there are audiobooks and ebooks on there, and you can read/listen to multiple books in a month. I can see Lotta Dann, Annie Grace, Allen Carr, Ruby Warrington, Alcoholics Anonymous, Laura McKowen, Simon Chapple and Marian Keyes on the UK site at the moment. Audiobooks were brilliant for me, as I could listen in the car or when doing the housework without anyone asking what I was reading. There are some brilliant resources out there. The Annie Grace podcast is good too, especially the shorter episodes.

@AlloftheTime and @BunniesBunniesBunnies hey! The placement was brilliant, very information heavy , my brain actually was hurting by yesterday, my grey cells felt very heavy. Had a day of washing, shopping, and de-nitting a small child with very long hair....shudder. funny how I am fine with surgical stuff or bodily fluids but nits, I'm repulsed by the blighters! .

Anyway normal mum off work day I suppose 😂

Will try and catch up tomorrow but if not will keep checking in, no desire to drink but did cross my mind earlier so staying vigilant. With placement and family I think it's going to be impossible to attend any in person meetings. So maybe back to smart?

Either way, love the thread so much and hope everyone is doing well.

So sorry I'm so crap at responding here. @Adm1010 thank you so much for running this one, keeping this thread going 💜🙏

A wave and a 💜 @iamyourequal

Hello. Day 8 here and still doing ok. Still quite tired tho’ - is that usual?

Hello, shuffling into the freedom gang. Day 29 and feeling quietly confident I won't be tempted to drink alcohol again. Tried and failed to moderate in 2020 .. 2021 is a blur but I've dusted myself off and here I am embracing life AF. I've read lots, listened to podcasts and I'm now in a place to tell others that I'm a non drinker.

Day 63 and an AF Saturday night is starting to feel normal. Had a couple of AF G&T's and watched an ITV drama. It's DH's morning with DS tomorrow so I'm looking forward to some time to myself at home. There's a Sheridan Smith drama on this week so I'm looking forward to some good viewing!

Morning all.

Another Saturday night AF. Went to bed early.
Off to see a bigger house so I can accommodate my brother.
No chance of wine drinking ever again if I want to practice what I preach.
I might take up a sport again to fill my time.
Have a good day.

@Newmum738 gosh those two months seem to have flown, you've done amazing! I'm looking forward to watching that drama too this week. With an af beer or two of my own . Have a lovely Sunday ☺️

Morning all, checking in.

So I am now in the UK visiting my mum and sister. This is very hard as there is so much alcohol in the house and they drink every night.

I think I will go running every day to get out of the house. I'm here for 3 weeks!

I'm afraid I have had a bit of a slip, but you know what, I didn't enjoy it and it seemed to have no effect on me. So I'm back to being vigilant. I did 43 days AF before my slip so now I'm back on the wagon. I don't want to get physiologically used to a drink again, because then the cravings come back which I think are mostly withdrawal related.

On a side note, I noticed that the feeling of being terribly flat seemed to go after a month. I'm reading a book called Quit or Die - the author writes about the flatness feeling or lack of pleasure; she says this is a common feeling with people in recovery as the brains neurotransmitters try to establish balance. Interesting.

the author writes about the flatness feeling or lack of pleasure

Day 30: I think I have this at the moment. But we are in lockdown and there's little pleasure to be had, so that could also explain it tbh . To be fair, we are allowed out, but there isn't much to do bar hiking and my pre-teen DC are far from keen- would rather stay in and play Fortnite. Had my covid jab on Friday and felt crappy all of yesterday but now ok except for a really swollen armpit which I had last time and it went after a few days

Reading Rachel's Holiday - enjoying it enormously, albeit it has not aged well. Makes it even more enjoyable in a way.

I'm actually kind of worried about the end of January as my Dry Jan comrades will be getting back on it for Chinese New Year and I'll have to face sobriety alone. This week I have two big lunches and a birthday party and if I get through it without cracking that will be quite amazing, especially as I'm in that danger zone where I'm telling myself that if I can quit I can moderate.

@PrisonerofZeroCovid Day 30 is awesome!
@Touty well done for dusting yourself off after a slip. I highly recommend running as a coping mechanism🤩

Congratulations @iamyourequal! You've done so well.

@SavBbunny, well done surviving the coffee date. Reading your earlier posts I wondered why you didn't cancel, but it's so much better to have faced up to it and gone. Really brave.

@PrisonerofZeroCovid I can imagine that the end of dry Jan might be challenging. But I bet a lot of people will now be heading back to harmful drinking now it is over. That was certainly me in the past.

@touty, yes keep running! Plus long baths, early nights, a box of chocolates...anything that helps while staying with hard drinking relatives.

My house is a tip so that's my project for the day after I drink a vat of coffee while reading the papers. Have a lovely, hangover-free Sunday, everyone. 😘

Starting again. Three years to the day since my dad died of alcoholism. So many motivations, same as when I started in December 2020 - main one being my son. I did over a year but faceplanted off the wagon on Thursday night for no apparent reason. Possibly the approaching anniversary, possibly boredom, definitely felt like I deserved it and definitely thought I could control it - then slowly realised I could not. Went to bed at no idea when with the back door unlocked, all the lights on and my son asleep in his room. Terrifying. So here I am, restarting what I did over a year ago with my Annie Grace book and my sober app reset. I’m apologising to myself for being such a wanker and maybe I will be able to accept my apology and forgive myself in a while.

@Drybird2020

Thank you for thinking of me. I wanted to see if my resolve was working. In the past i have gone to these social occasions hungover from drinking the night before or straight around to the supermarket to buy my friend wine for a bindge later.
I know that my recent redundancy will be the topic of conversation with these school gate mums so I wanted to tell them I had a new job and my PhD accepted. Lots of faux concern post Christmas from one of the clique. My story, so my version this time.
Same with my AF life. Plenty of wow.'I wish i could do that etc' , you're not an alcoholic! Which is really about their drinking not mine.
New job starts next week and tis men so I find they don't push alcohol on women. Might get asked to be the driver, which is fine.

@Dominicains

I am sorry for your loss. My dad died four years ago from obesity and old age. Not really a big boozer but the amount of food caused his illness. It gets a bit easier. My AF journey has been started so i can have weight loss surgery. I only scoff when i am drunk otherwise a light eater (former veggie). I don't want to be a burden to my children in old age. I want to be present in their lives. I missed a lot of their childhoods. I embarrassed them and me. Mine was grief and lack of direction. I have 10 years more to work and I want to be the best I can be.

Thank you @Kindtomyself, @Blackberryblossom, @ChampooPapi & @Drybird2020. The support of this thread is really helping me.
We were at a party last night for first time in so long. I was DHs plus one and didn’t know anyone there. In the past the thought of getting through that sober would have been completely unimaginable to me. It wasn’t easy at all, but I know if I’d been drinking I’d have got drunk to compensate for feeling socially award and I’d be feeling yukky this morning.

@JillyC2022. I second Blackberryblossom’s recommendation. I enjoy Annie Grace’s podcasts more than her book. Her book borrows heavily from Allen Carr’s book, without properly crediting him through it. This made me cross, but when I started listening to her podcasts all was forgiven. They make me feel very positive about not drinking and I think she has a nice mellow voice I’m happy to listen to. I love the life stories of others too.
Glad your placement went well @ChampooPapi.
Hi @Touty. I’m sorry you’ve had a slip but sometimes I think we need these to reaffirm our decision. Remember we are all here if your family try and pull you off the wagon again at dinner tonight. Sunday night used to be my worst night of all for resisting.

Welcome @Dominicains and so sorry for your loss. It’s good to have you with us.
Hi @SavBbunny. Are you finding it easier to lose weight AF? I didn’t lose anything stopping but am dieting now. It isn’t easy.

Thank you both. I know I can do this, I don’t think my dad would want me to end up the way he did.

Hello! Can I please join? Thanks for the thread.

I was on one of these threads about six months ago and it was so helpful. I got to 60 days and felt so proud … then I decided to moderate. Now I have had a drink every day since mid November. Yesterday I had a horrible hangover and felt down and ashamed.

I think I’m ready to quit again. I just had the last drink in the fridge and it starts from now.

When will it get easy? Will it ever get easy?

Thanks xxxxx