The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Adm1010]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life

Thankyou to bunnies for hosting the last thread.
And here’s to the next 40 pages

For those who are further down the path, when did you start to feel less short tempered?

I'm almost 30 days and whilst I'm nowhere near as bad tempered as I was the day after drinking I'm also nowhere near being calm and serene.

I have 3 young children and I'm on my own. DP and I don't live together at present (long story but essentially it hasn't been a happy or positive relationship for a while and he has his own mental health issues so we live apart currently)

I am shouty and naggy. I am always having to repeat myself and manage everything for everyone.

I have quite a bit of support in terms of in-laws, who are wonderful. So I am able to work etc. Kids all go to school so I'm not 100% cooped up with them all the time.

I just don't feel very happy. Albeit I'm happier than I was when drinking.

I wonder if I'm depressed or do I just need some more time? I have moments of feeling quite wonderful and very positive but then I'm mopping up juice off the floor as the 7yo is annoying the 4yo and she's accidentally spilt it (that is this mornings example )

Good morning.
Sorry missed all last night. In bed with new book having had a large af gin (couldn't drink the second one).

@ChampooPapi
Don't ever think you are not welcome. As I have said before this is not the confessional! We are a bunch of people who need help.
I had a blip last week. Horrible day the day before. Ended up searching for fabric at £100 a metre in the posh shop in town.
Totally wired. Best friend got me home. Two glasses but sweating like a pig. I was trying to hide it from the family (not sure i did😬). Woke up the next day and dusted myself off. We are perfectly imperfect.
Not sure I would find a thread without wagon drops believable.

However 64 days, four blips. I think that is pretty good from 3-5 bottles of wine a week.

Thank you so much everyone 😢 it helps a great deal to read all the posts and experience on here to put into perspective what I do, am trying to do.

@Breathmiller you are such a wonderful, intelligent and kind person, your beautiful message has given me so much to draw from today. I will continue to read it all week I know I will to get me through

@SavBbunny and thank you so much for the reassurance and understanding, you are doing exceptionally well and your own perspective is so welcome to me, I will reflect on everything and be as kind to myself as I can

Hi all, I am still reading but have been tired and a little down. I am on Day 36 now. You are helping me so much by talking and feel guilty that I haven't contributed.

Welcome @Crunchymum We are on similar numbers and it sounds like I am feeling the same as you. I am definitely over the initial high and pride in myself, and feeling flat and grumpy.

Such an excellent post from @Breathmiller as always. Radical self compassion all the way!

@Crunchymum

Hello, I love a crunchy.

I am not all that marvellous at this AF task but I am one of those positive people.
One of my former work teams called me Tigger.
I do bounce in the morning. I am as grumpy as f at 3pm which used to be helped by wine o'clock!

Hi @ChampooPapi. So glad you are back. Fresh start from today, you can do this. You are being too hard on yourself. You are studying hard training for a new career and a mum to 4 young children. That’s an incredible achievement in itself. You have surely made tonnes of progress towards being completely AF. Don’t feel bad at all. We are here for you.
Welcome @Crunchymum. Good to have you with us (& I feel your pain with the teeth! )
@Fortheloveofgodwhy. I totally remember that horrible feeling of deprivation when it’s Monday night and you’ve drunk the past 4 but know you really can’t tonight and it’s miserable. It’s truly best just not doing it at all.
@BunniesBunniesBunnies, your top 3 is very good to hear. Anyone else with a top 3? Would be a nice boost to hear them as we all start a new week.

Hi@Borrowbox. Sorry to hear you feel flat. Is it linked to missing drink or other stuff? It’s difficult isn’t it. Sometimes you feel so proud to quit and healthy and alive. At others you think ‘I’m missing all the fun’ or ‘why isn’t this easy yet!!

@ChampooPapi how great to hear from you I’ve been waiting to see you pop up. We started at a very similar time and I enjoyed reading your posts and about your family and study.

You really can do this and you WANT to do it so you will find the best way of doing it.

I’m currently in hospital as an emergency patient and know just how hard staff work. Please post as often as you feel inclined and the door here is always open and the welcome mat is in place.

Have a good Sunday everyone

Thank you @iamyourequal I think it is a bit of both. I guess there just isn't the same special occasion feel and I need to get over that. Kids don't feel that way, when did it become normal for me to feel this way?

Life is tough atm too, just the general relentless of it. Covid is back in the house and my health isn't great. I could go on but don't want to drag the thread down It is certainly nothing that others aren't dealing with.

I am sorry to see you are still in hospital @allofthetime Really hope you feel better soon.

@iamyourequal thank you so much for you kind words, I appreciate everything so much that you took the time to write. Coming back on here is getting me through today, picking up the pieces of my broken life today is a lot easier with you guys 💜

hey @AlloftheTime so good to hear from you too! I feel like I've let so many people down including posters like yourself who have been so supportive of me when I've been so Fairweather or breif on here. I'm so sorry you've found yourself in hospital, what's happening your end? Are you okay? I worked in a&e a few weeks ago and absolutely loved it, It was before the last two major drinking binges and I was doing so well there and loving every minute. I would certainly not be very capable of I was there tomorrow, which would let down so many patients and staff, I'd balls to the wall it of course but I would still be a shadow of myself and inside I would be questioning every decision and need to triple check everything because I wouldn't trust my memory. You have been so supportive here and I can't thank you enough, I'm just so upset for you that your a patient currently. Don't feel bad for asking staff for anything you need, patients can do this and often don't, they wait for someone to come round ect. You will not be a pain for doing this, the staff really like it because they are then meeting the needs of people without having to ask them. We love a patient who asks for pain relief or the toilet, or a blanket, anything really. It's satisfying also knowing your meeting all the needs you can, and that is why we nurse!

Life is like a camera, focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives and when things don’t work out …..TAKE ANOTHER SHOT!"

Just wanted to share this quote to mark today for myself on the thread and give myself the positive inspiration I suppose. I need to be brave now and stronger and more honest about my issues with binge drinking to everyone in my life.

On a positive note I did find myself smiling for the first time today when I re read the quote and got to the words 'take another shot'

The first time I read it it didn't even cross my mind it could be read as shot of liquor 🤦

Anyway, onwards and upwards. Its not going to be easy this first week is it 😬

@ChampooPapi thank you for your wonderful words - you are kind, wise and self aware and these qualities will get you through this. They are also what will make you a great healthcare worker.

You are where you are and have been extremely honest about yourself along the way. It’s one day or hour at a time right now for you. Do whatever you need to do to be happy and healthy. Post or don’t post here, check in if that’s all you want to do but remember there is normally someone to reply if that’s what you want.

So much truth about health professionals in your post and it’s a welcome reminder about getting your needs met. With two slight exceptions the dozens of staff I’ve seen at A&E and beyond have been amazing. I’m currently being treated for severe pneumonia and assessed for a couple of other things. I may have to stay until the end of the week depending on some results. Feel better than 48hours ago and I’m hoping treatment can continues to work.

Please focus on yourself and your family and keep the sayings coming!!

PS no it’s not going to be easy but how many important or valuable achievements in learning fe are?
PPS I love your sense of humour

@AlloftheTime. Stay in that hospital as long as you can, it really sounds like you are having quite a time of it. Rest and let them mend you! I like all the chat about asking for things in hospital. I wouldn’t have dared. (So I’m learning today). I can remember once lying awake in hospital for hours in hopeful anticipation of a cup of tea. When I eventually got one it was so milky I couldn’t drink it, but didn’t dare say. I think I might have wept (I’m inclined to a good dose of weepy self-indulgence, and I do love my tea). I hope you are at least getting good tea in there.
@ChampooPapi ❤️. You need to come on here every day, no matter what, even if you don’t have time to really post. It’s such a help.

@Borrowbox. I know what you mean about the special occasion thing. I try and tackle this by doing the ‘playing it forward’ thing. The other thing I try and do is make a big fuss of food: the meal I will choose at the restaurant; all the desserts I will let myself try at the buffet or whatever. Sure it’s not quite the same but it all helps a bit. You should feel free to talk of your health here. We are here to listen. (And everyone will be glad of a break from hearing about my bloody teeth 😂)
Very quiet day here folks, walk out for a latte with DD the highlight. Have a good evening all.

Ah welcome back Champoo, I’ve was quitting FOREVER most mornings, and definitely every Monday.. for YEARS… I just never had the gumption to join a club like here before, I’m pretty sure we’ve all been doing that before we got to this point! I’m just hoping it sticks for good now.

Get well soon @AlloftheTime

And hope tomorrow is brighter @Borrowbox, you must be close to 40 days now. Sober mummy def has 30 to 100 days as the wall, the bit where quitting gets boring, the wine witch gets a second (hundredth) wind and sober still isn’t the norm. Can you gift yourself some rewards at the mini milestones?

I’ve just got to this blog post in sober mummy, it s really resonated with me tonight. I’ve feeling overly anxious about a relatively mundane op tomorrow to remove a pin and a bit of bone from my collarbone, I had a bad accident last summer and was in a lot of pain from fractured sternum, and had surgery to fix my broken collarbone. I did Physio for 5 months and had 3 cortisol injections, I still have concussion issues.. this is a very minor op by comparison. I am in a much better way physically than I was then. But I am aware of the nagging sense of wanting a drink to numb it. I won’t but the urges has been building for days because of the anxiety. Although the post isn’t about anxiety, it is about comfort and misguided beliefs.

mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-abusive-lover.html

Thank you everyone, you have been really kind. The idea that I have hit the wall definitely resonates and will look into that. I think rewards is a good way to go. I have noticed I am placing more emphasis on food treats lately, I need to keep that going. No hardship

Good luck tomorrow @fortheloveofgodwhy I totally get the anxiety. Really hope it goes well. I will go and read that blog now.

Morning all.
RA still playing up.
@Fortheloveofgodwhy good luck today.
@AlloftheTime I hope you feel better today.

@ChampooPapi I hope you wake feeling supported.

@iamyourequal thanks for your posts
I’m sorry you’ve got so much on your plate.
Post ad and when you need to be it long or short
positive or negative
We are not in competition many times your post and I’ll resonate strongly with someone
Monday greetings

@Fortheloveofgodwhy I hope the op goes well today and 💐 for everyone else struggling with health and feelings.

@Borrowbox about special occasions: the thing I found most helpful with that is simply time and experience! The more special occasions you have without booze, the less you associate special occasions with booze!

I distinctly remember going out for a really nice mean with my partner (this is rare because of childcare!) a few months in, and feeling so bereft a couldn’t have a “glass” of wine… I say “glass” because really - it would have been a bottle!

Now when there is a special occasion coming up I just look forward to the company and the food and the lack of hangover the next day!🤩 Not because I’m so great at being sober, but just because it’s been so long that the association isn’t really there anymore. So hang in there, it gets easier.

And YES I was another one who would always start “moderation” every Monday😂😂😂 Honestly - FUCK moderation. It’s so much harder than actually quitting!!!

Hi all, I've been watching this thread and lurking since I quit drinking at start of Feb. I was just thinking today how I have some horrendous memories of regrettable things I did when drunk- (before I was a parent) head injuries, getting into tricky situations with dodgy characters, vomiting in public and just being an embarrassment.
In more recent years I've had a deep feeling of regret and guilt whilst drinking and afterwards, but I convinced myself it was more civilised- bottles of wine at home with husband and music/ telly. However, my feelings around alcohol were making me unhappy. Trying to have a couple of nights off booze, being scared and buying some wine just in case I really felt like it later on- then opening it straight after tea. This kind of thing.
Anyway, well done to everyone on here. I'm so glad to be out of the self- destructive pattern and feeling fresher and healthier already.

@Veryverycalmnow

Welcome and hi. I am the Queen of embarrassing antidotes. Spanx flasher to the stars!

Welcome verycalm It sounds like we have similar pasts and gave up at the same time. I totally recognise the safety bottle. I would often not buy it, but think about it obsessively, and then have to do an urgent 7pm dash to the shops (where I would buy stuff we didn't need as well so it wasn't so obvious the wine was the reason!)

Hope the op goes well today @Fortheloveofgodwhy

Sorry your RA is still causing you problems @SavBbunny Hope it improves with the sunshine (no idea if that is possible, but the sun is giving me hope).

Thanks @BunniesBunniesBunnies I think you are totally right. I am in a much better frame of mind today and really believe what you say is possible. A Monday morning where I actually believe what I am telling myself

@Borrowbox

You made me laugh with the 7pm dash. I use to go out for a 'Cabbage' about 3pm on a Sunday.