The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Adm1010]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life

Thankyou to bunnies for hosting the last thread.
And here’s to the next 40 pages

@Landedonfeet

You are all phenomenal

I just so wish that mumsnet and threads like this had been around before my mum finally succumbed

That sounds like it was tough for you - 🌼

It was dreadful.
But 15 years ago.
She missed my siblings and my weddings, grandchildren, professional successes,

And also the times when we needed her

She didn’t have the strength and support of you all.

I will bow out.

But you should all be so proud of yourselves

Thanks @Landedonfeet and sorry to read that- sounds so tough for you (and mum)

@Adm1010 Well Done on 6 months. I'm 6 months today. Feeling great and just off to a yoga class

@Kindtomyself you bloody legend!!! Well done!!!

@Landedonfeet I’m so sorry for your loss and for how difficult that must have been for your family when she was still alive. Thank you for your kind words.

Whoop whoop for the half a yearers!!!

I’ve woken with a strong resolve to brave it out. I know no one will say anything at all, but I do hate standing out 🙈 ironic because most people would say I’m a gobshite!

Happy sober weekend y’all

Massive congratulations on the 6 months @Adm1010 and @Kindtomyself

So sorry to hear about your Mum @Landedonfeet That must be so hard. Thank you for coming on and sharing.

Hope everyone had a lovely Friday evening. I have a busy Saturday but all good things, and feel in a great place to really enjoy it. Enjoy your weekends everyone.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy I totally get it. I am also gluten intolerant, and veggie (ideally vegan). I am basically a nightmare and spend my whole time apologising. Everyone is right though, time to own it.

You did make me laugh with the lunch box though. That is exactly how I feel, and I have started taking my herbal teas with me now too 🤣

Hope you have a great time!

Morning all. I have my first big test tonight since going AF ( 63 days today's 😊).
We have a work's reunion night planned after our work place shut down suddenly last year. I'm looking forward to seeing people but already the messages have been " you're not driving are you milkysmum!??" " don't be such a bore you know it's better if you have a drink" etc..
I've just said I'm focusing on health goals at the moment ( which is also true ) and have decided to knock the drink on the head for a bit. I know tonight will be tough though, when I have been out with this group before I am also known for drinking a ridiculous amount/ getting in a mess etc..
Any top tips welcome.

Sounds like driving is your best plan Milky. Can you make some come backs like it’s someone else’s turn to be the entertainment AND have the hangover from death. Just stay positive you are driving, have your reasons and don’t be drawn. I’ll be thinking of you!

Well done on 63 days @milkysmum and good luck tonight. Why are people so unhelpful in their reactions to drinking? I know I used to feel the same if others were driving (never said it though, that would be like admitting I had a problem...)

I like the playing the tape forward tip. So visualise now how you come home and get into bed sober, taking make-up off carefully, waking up tomorrow refreshed etc. Then if you are tempted later, play it forward and imagine the horrible contrast to that lovely image. Maybe imagine a lovely AF drink later and start craving it now too, that way you will get that lovely reward later when you have it.

Kindtomyself fantastic!! Well done on 6 months. Half a year is a great milestone.

landedonfeet I am so sorry about your mum. Alcohol really feels like the lie we've all been sold, and sadly can have devastating consequences for some people and their families. Thank you for coming on here and for your encouragement in how important this support is.

fortheloveofgod I hear you. I am vegan and gf as well as a couple of really random allergies. Add in not drinking and I am a nightmare guest to feed. But, I refuse to be embarrassed or ashamed of either my choices round food or my reactions to food. I hope you can enjoy your day with friends, that's the part to focus on. As long as you can eat something you've taken with you, by the time everyone has started eating no one will care I imagine.

milkysmum stand strong, you can do this!! We're all standing (at the bar with a lime and soda) with you. It's so hard at the beginning when people keep pressuring you to drink. I do think people find it hard to see others do this. It's as if they think you're whole personality hinges on what they know of you. I am surprised at the people I see now, who I thought accepted I wasn't drinking anymore who still say "goodness, you STILL not drinking?" It's like it's an alien thing to do for life. I just smile.

Bunnies you asked what was going on 2 years ago. What a thought for me. I was in the middle of trying to get my mum from the hospital into a nursing home when lockdown hit. It wasn't an expected journey for her, she was still relatively young and I was in shock with that anyway. I was drinking fairly moderately but then lockdown hit and it spiralled. I was also going through a mad time with work and a very difficult menopause. It was like I was on a mad rollercoaster that was out of control with not a moment to breathe and then the world stopped and I let go completely of any control I had in my life and just fell into old habits of drinking. By the August of 2020 I decided enough was enough and came on here and haven't drank since.
There have been other really awful things that have happened in that time too, one with my son in particular that I was supported so much on this thread. And the usual crap things that life sometimes throws at you on top of the huge crap thing we all were dealing with.
But, I am so glad that I have been dealing with it all while sober. It has been one of the best gifts I have given myself. And I continue to keep working on other things in my life that cause me distress. It has strengthened my resolve and my self belief more than anything I've ever done. And I have no desire to go back to that person I was 2 years ago.

I would like to join please?

I am 56 and I drink every night - usually half a bottle of wine and then between 3 and 6 vodka and diet cokes. I know I am escaping sitting with uncomfortable feelings (abusive childhood/Narc mother) and every now and then I have a month or so of being AF.

Then. like so many of us, I think I have done so well, I can just moderate. But I cannot just moderate - I wish I could.

I am very afraid that if I turn up to an event and am not drinking, my friends will want to turn the spotlight away from their own (heavy) drinking, and will say " Oh sure Bunny, we always knew you were the alcoholic" As if I am at fault, the faulty one who cannot cope with this addictive poison that none of us humans should be consuming.

I have read most of the quit lit. Am also a HUGE Marion Keyes fan. Just finished Again Rachel and it was great but made me feel sad.

Anyway, here I am, showing up to quit completely. Thanks for all the wonderful sharing and support.

Late checking in. Been poorly.
Better tonight. Had pink Warners AF gin and homemade prawn curry, delicious.
Looking forward to a good sleep. Congrats to all with anniversaries.
15 lbs off since January 8th, AF. I stick to 1530 as per my nutracheck system.

Welcome @BrightonBunny (there’s a growing number of bunnies on this thread😂).

Your story sounds familiar. You’ll find many of us were drinking to cope with trauma or other difficult feelings (I know I was).

Obviously the trauma hasn’t gone away for me but oh my god I’m sooo much more able to deal with those difficult feelings when not drinking.

As for your friends… it was a major fear of mine but honestly, I’ve discovered many people don’t give a shit what I’m drinking, they don’t even notice😂😂😂 I’ve had less than a handful of negative comments about my sobriety in the last two years, and literally dozens of compliments and questions from sober curious people who wanted to know more.

Don’t fear other people’s reactions, you need to do what’s right for you and honestly, I couldn’t recommend giving up booze more.

Anyway, welcome and good luck😊

Ps great job on the weight loss @SavBbunny

@Landedonfeet hope you have family and real life support - I’m sorry you missed all those times and milestones with your mum. Take care.

@BrightonBunny welcome lots new starters and plenty of wise d heads here 👍

Welcome @BrightonBunny Glad you are here. A lot of what you said resonated.

Sorry you haven't been feeling well @SavBbunny Amazing results on the weight loss. You must be so proud of yourself. I have lost a couple of lbs now, took ages for it to show on the scales but felt slimmer for a while. I am hoping that it will pick up speed, but if it doesn't I will cope with slow results.

I am feeling a bit meh tonight, but in an hour I can celebrate 4 weeks so that is exciting. May just have to go to bed soon and hope for a better feeling tomorrow. This is very new to me, sitting with the feelings and not masking them with the instant pick me up of wine. Not enjoying it but know it is better long term.

Evening and good night everyone. Hello new Bunny. Great weight loss Sav, wish I was losing weight but despite holding back calories it’s not really dropping much 🤷‍♀️

Survived the soirée. Drunk people are quite tedious.. especially DH 😱 luckily he doesn’t do it often. However I’ve come home at a reasonable time and came straight to bed. Rather than the usual Netflix episode or two and another glass or three of wine to wind down… Instead I’m in bed. Sober. Happy. And hoping to have a good sleep with non of the 3am regerts… and I don’t think anyone even noticed I wasn’t drinking alcohol. I took two beers and stuck with those and a cup of tea.

And last but not least… a very happy 1 hr short of 4 weeks and a month Borrowbox

Morning all, feeling a bit better today.
Joints playing up, not alcohol related but it did knock out the pain back in the day!

Had a pink AF gin and went to bed by 9pm. Exciting me.
Hello to all the newbies. We are a kind bunch.
Very pleased with weight loss but I am following a calorie controlled diet. I had to reduce my liver and booze ready for weight loss surgery. I just stick to 1530 calories per day and as I am not wasting 600 on wine it hasn't been too bad. Seeing the quack this week.
Sunday is OK for me. I hope a peaceful day for you all.

Glad you survived @Fortheloveofgodwhy Your post reminded me of doing the rounds of 30th birthday parties when pregnant, first for DH's year group, and then mine 2 years later. Tedious is the word. I think it is memories of that which put me off sobriety for so long It is different now as this is my choice, although admittedly haven't had a big test yet.

Hope your RA gives you a break soon Sav I also used to use wine to medicate for health issues and it is strange not being able to.

Hope everyone has a lovely day

Thanks for the warm welcomes

I chose a Bunny name to fit in - I guess that's part of my problem. Anyway, I have had a productive morning, changing bedding, bit of very light housework and now out for a walk. Soooo much better than sweating it out in my dressing gown all day counting down the hours until I can take my next load of paracetamol safely - my usual Sunday experience.

I have told a few people I am giving up booze for Lent, and that hasn't aroused any surprise as I often give up for that kind of period. I am trying not to look ahead to alcohol free holidays etc as that seems to overwhelming right now.

Well done on the weight loss SavBbunny. I always think cutting down on food is so much harder than other addictive type behaviour as you still have to eat. A good friend of mine who is a heavy drinker loses her appetite whilst drinking and I have always felt quite jealous of her, which is tragic really.

Well done on a great start @BrightonBunny!
@Borrowbox congrats on 4 weeks! It’s a big milestone, well done!

Well done folks reaching milesstone ( congrats on the 6 months @Adm1010 and @Kindtomyself).

I’m afraid I’ve screwed up here.

I had a couple of quick stiff drinks prepping dinner last night. I was fed up being AF and struck by overwhelming feeling it was a Saturday night and bloody ridiculous not to allow myself a drink. On Friday night I’d taken a couple of swigs to calm myself down as I was having some kind of panic attack. I have been having little swigs of things occasionally to calm my nerves here and there. My nerves have been bad they past few weeks.

I am not really sure what to do in my own head about all this now. I had gone AF end of August. I was feeling so proud of this achievement but nobody else gives a shit and half of me can’t see the point anymore. The other half thinks I should try again as I didn’t give up for nothing. Sorry not to be posting more positively.

Sorry you’re feeling this way @iamyourequal. You’ve still been sober the best part of 6 months which is amazing.

But listen. You’re not doing this for anyone else but you. You need to try and let go of what anyone else things. You’re doing this for you! Would you still like to be sober? What other coping mechanisms do you have when things get tough?

No judgment from me, life is fucking harsh sometimes. Hang in there x