"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

Seedlip not session!

@Cartooner well done on resisting that wine I'm not sure I would have resisted. I'm probably in the minority for being grateful for Covid as DH and I have decided to spend the big day on our own so I will find it easier to forego the demon drink. Social situations will be my trigger. I'm day 9 now and every day is a 'neverdonethisbeforeday' since drinking wine every day for many years. I'm still finding it difficult to sleep but from reading comments from others this seems normal. 3-4pm is still difficult as well but I've not succumbed yet! I love this thread and will continue to lurk for support.

@Horlicks4me you are doing great, just focus on the day you're in. You're on the right road to where you want to go, just keep your eye on YOUR road! 9 days in the right direction, I hope you are marking 2 weeks with something special.

Thanks @Cartooner I will find something special but it sure won't be alcoholic.

Well done Cartooner. 9 days is so good.

Well done everyone. I love this thread. I celebrated my 8 months this morning by running the fastest 10km I’ve ever run, before or after children! I’m sooo relieved to wake up clear headed, healthy, and lighter than I was 8 months ago (both physically and mentally). Weirdly, the buzz I get from running is not altogether dissimilar to the buzz I used to get from booze! Though this one is followed by pride rather than shame.

Not been an easy week but today I think I’m alright🤩🏃‍♀️😍

Well done Bunnies! I’m buzzing today too, it’s day 99 and I celebrated by running stopping for 1hr and 20 mins, don’t think I’ve done that since I was about 20! It took a while for the benefits of no booze to start stacking up but finally my fitness is coming up and the weight is starting to drop off, the sleep has been the most life changing benefit!

@Cartooner you’re totally right, I’ve never been this prepared for Christmas as I am now. All those years I spent wasting evenings drinking far too much and then getting irritable and not sleeping. All in the name of being jolly! And that horrible feeling in January where you just feel exhausted and fat and pickled. I bet that G+T moment will be just as magical with a Seedlip and tonic!

@Horlicks4me well done on day 9! Not sure if you’ve been recommended the I am Sober app but it helped me a lot to build up my sober streak and I think has been the key tool which has helped me come this far.

Happy festive Sunday all!

Sorry the day 9 congratulations above was horlicks

What a great way to celebrate bunnies

I have joined hangingover in a duvet day. My morning started with a covid test for our youngest. I'm absolutely sure he has a cold, not covid but it has come with a bad cough so needed a test for school.
Joy oh joy oh joy.

Hope it's negative @breathmiller

@breathmiller thank you. I spent my 'trigger' time (4ish) by wrapping presents. It seemed strange not having a drink on a Sunday when prepping veg. and it was tempting too. Settled now with my lemon and lime (living the high life) with ice and a slice ready to watch Strictly results later.

Hi guys!
I hope you all don't mind me popping by to say hello👋 dropped off the thread months ago🙈 how are you all doing? I'm still going, gearing up for my first sober Christmas. Is anyone getting a stash of AF drinks in? What are you all having?
Really hope you're all well. X

@Cartooner I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies congrats on your 8 months! I just past 9 months. Well done on your run, sounds really good, love the buzz of a great run x

Hey, is there room for another? I've been reading this thread since Monday, when I made the decision to go AF.

I have a horrible relationship with alcohol, no self control and an addictive personality that I would really rather channel for good than evil. Last weekend I got through 5 bottles of red, and the weekend before was the same. I cannot have just one drink, and I can't keep sinking 5 bottles every weekend. I need to do better for myself, my husband, and my children.

So AF is the only way to go. I'm holding up ok so far. DH doesn't quite believe me (I've told him I'm doing it for a year, but I have no intention of that being the goal and then back to normal) but he is supportive. The thought of an AF Christmas is daunting but feels absolutely the right thing to do. I don't give enough to anyone when I'm drinking, nowhere near. They all deserve so much more than a pissed mum who might be fun for an hour, but who is then snappy, rude, emotional, hungover, tired etc etc as a result.

This seems like a really supportive thread. I'm very glad to have stumbled across it.

Hi @Wellysock and welcome! Your drinking sounds a lot like mine, I was also doing 5 bottles a weekend and 1 most week nights with the occasional night off “for my liver”.

This evening I was playing with the kids at bed time, I was singing Old MacDonald and both of the little ones were running around the room and whooping and dancing and clapping and it was just this lovely little joyful moment. And then it dawned on me that I never had those moments, particularly at bed time, when drinking, I’d be tense and irritated and just wishing them to be down for the night so I could get back downstairs to my glass. It made me sad but also happy to think that hopefully our relationship can be that much deeper thanks to this choice I’m making, one day at a time.

In the first couple of weeks I found I was really “feeling” everything and it was a bit overwhelming. I think my default response had always been to surprise any kind of emotion, happy or sad, alcohol. Without the booze there to mute it I found I was feeling so much more and it was uncomfortable to start with, it’s getting better now and I think I have far, far more joyful moments than I ever did drinking.

Looking forward to sharing a very special Yuletide with you all!

@Horlicks4me I’m the same as you I’m really happy we don’t have to see anyone at Xmas and new year as my circle are big drinkers. Once we can get back to normal (spring🙏) then I’m hoping I will be stronger and able to cope better with being around people drinking.

There is only really one person who
I think won’t be supportive of my quitting the drink. He will badger and prod and poke. He will say I’m boring, no fun, not the fun girl I used to be. I will most probably end up telling him to *%?! Off!!

Husband said how lovely I look today, it was really nice. I’ve got colour back in my cheeks and my eyes are brighter and my dark circles have gone. I’ve also been putting on makeup even just to stay in the house. It’s nice, feeling nice again. Normally have no energy and can’t be arsed and look a state.

You guys are really tempting me to go for a run. It’s been year and years and years since I’ve run though.

Well done Bunnies on your 8 months.
I’m at the 14 day mark and it is the longest stretch I have had all year. So feeling proud. Positives so far:

Love the feeling that if I need to, I could actually drive somewhere in the evening/night.
Sleeping much better.
So much more time in the evening to do stuff.

However, not really losing any weight or seen any improvement in my complexion - are these myths?

@jess3817 it’s so great to see you!!! Glad you’re still hanging in there too. I don’t like overly sweet drinks so probably will stick to my coffee and my AF beer and herbal teas.

@Wildernesstips my skin and complexion are sooo much better now but that take a at least a month before the benefits showed. I also lost a lot of weight but I don’t have a sweet tooth, I know not everyone loses weight. Even if you don’t lose weight though, your health (of your organs) will be improving immensely!

Welcome @Wellysock, well done on making that decision. What you and @Furble say about your kids resonates with me.

I really believed me 3or 4 drinks in was the best version of me but then my kids were getting the absolute worst version of me unless they were around for those first few drinks or when I came in from a boozy lunch etc. I’m ashamed to think of how confusing it must have been for them to see me being overly loved up to them and disingenuously fun and relaxed letting them stay up etc and then in contrast being irritable and snappy the next day. I’m so sad for them that they might have thought they did anything to deserve my exasperation when it had nothing to do with them. I’m just after spending such a fun time playing with them, I have so much more patience and genuine joy when being with them now.

Yes and add in caffeine, I didnt really have the high element of your descriptions as never drank during the day as a rule only after their bedtime or one glass around them but being wrecked in the morning plus the perfect partner of a narky snowstorm caffeine, didn't work well trying to do a school run with pretty willful kids. I'd be fit to drive off without them.

Well done @Wildernesstips on your 14 days! I'm a week behind you, day 8 for me today.

@DileenODoubts it's a pretty sharp shock to look at how we have affected our children by drinking isn't it. Uncomfortable for sure, and it's the sort of thing I would have normally numbed with alcohol. I completely agree with the feeling everything @Furble I keep having flashbacks and big feelings of regret for all the times I fucked up as a result of drinking. Also big happy feelings too and lots of love and contentment, so that's a nice balance.

@Needsomethingtoread how long have you been AF? Go ahead and tell that person to 'do one' (that's the polite version). I told my grown up children that I'm in the process of giving it up for good. They thought I was joking initially but are pleased and very supportive and my DH is gradually realising I am serious and he has cut down too although I don't expect him to join me. He drinks beer/cider which I never have done. In time I hope I can drop a little weight and improve my complexion.

Morning everyone

@Wellysock well done on your first week !

@Wildernesstips you are my AF twin we must have stopped the same time! Love the benefits. My best one so far has been feeling normal on weekend mornings and just more headspace as not thinking about drinking or planning around it

I can’t do the links but I did find benefits over a month of not drinking on the priory website which says drinking 6 glasses of wine loses you the equivalent of 19-24 glasses of water ! Not sure if it’s exactly true or not but I’ll take it - got to be good for the complexion at least

Well I saw noticeable improvements to my skin within two weeks which I am sure are totally imagined and nothing to do with not putting my glasses on that morning. I also now 43 days in have a giant coldsore and spots on my nose, I never get spots! So don't hold out too much hope, eh. I have probably lost 3 pounds but I'm still not the weight I was back in January after a diet.

The inside of my head is lovely though, mostly. That's the main prize.

Hello friends wanting to stay AF for Christmas. Can I suggest something? Will we post here what's in our go-to 'toolbox' for staying on track?

Today I am going to put pen to paper to decide what my specific go-to actions are for when I wobble, which I will. I say specific because I know off the top of my head there's here for a chat, quit lit, and so on but I want a specific and a short list as a targeted strong go to. Such as: re-listen to x podcast episode 22, etc. I have an inspo file saved to my computer that I've pasted some good sentences of motivation I've read here and include photos of people AF that inspire me. That will be in my toolbox.

Just an idea, I am going to commit to sharing it here this week so that I do it. Personally, I am motivated by gains, not by self-flaggellation so hoping for an upbeat toolbox which includes listening to Calvin Harris who is AF because creatively it's better, he said in an interview.