"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

I should add that I had no reason to think my aunt would die, I hadn't seen her in years so no major emotional link and she'd had a heart attack during the night.

Last post I meant to do the other day, do you ever read another persons post and think someone has hacked your brain and saying exactly your own thoughts! DODoubt, when I read your description of why you've quit, that's me totally, no major issues, all very much low level habit formed I know i'd be better without. For me, better parent being top of the list as even two glasses of wine and I know I am not the person I want to be in the mornings with my kids.

Hello everyone and happy Monday ! This was my first alcohol free weekend in a long time and it was good. I didn’t feel deprived (thanks Allen carr) and slept better than I have done in weeks - with more energy in the mornings. Also didn’t have the usual puffy overtired morning face this morning - quite nice to face a Monday from an even keel

such as in university at 1am I woke in the night thinking someone has died. Found out the next morning my aunt had died during the night

Something similar happened to me when I was young. I didn't realize my poor traumatised brain was so primed for it but I needed it and it was enough to tip me into OCD. I stay away from all suggestions of woo for this reason! I get "feelings" that my loved ones are going to die multiple times a day, it's exhausting Be careful listening to these thoughts of you're at all anxious!

Hi, hoping I can join. Early days for me at Day 8. Been trying to quit for a while, but a routine blood test and subsequent follow up bloods have indicated high ALT and GGT levels and the need to have an ultrasound on my liver. It is the wake up call I needed to be honest as I was always kidding myself that because I always had at least 2 AF days a week I was OK 🙄.

Have got to page 18 on the thread and am very inspired by you all.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I have bad news.
Yesterday I did "the jog"

Well done mrsdoubtfireswig on your first AF weekend. I always think that first weekend is the hardest.

Welcome wildernesstips sounds like you are doing what's right for you.

Thank you @Breathmiller yeah I agree the first is always the worst !

I’ve done some longish stints in the past either carrying on from dry jan or because of children but I’ve always felt quite restless. I definitely felt more content this weekend. Also I was craving ‘something’ on Saturday night - which I would normally interpret as a glass of wine but when I analysed it a bit more it was actually just to relax - which I did in the bath and then bed

Thanks @hangingover I know what you mean although I don't really tend to be anxious and had a sibling die younger very suddenly and no inkling about that so I'm definitely not a good early warning system!

Hi
I don't check in that often but am
just checking back in to say I'm now at 156 days and realised the other day that just after the start of January I will be 6 months alcohol free 😮😁 I can't believe where the time has gone, and I feel so free just now.

Also, I continue to lurk and wanted just to post to say I'm thinking of you Breathmiller I hope you are ok.

I've not been out running, or walking, for that matter for a few weeks now, seem to have lost my grip on it so I'm finding those of you like Bunnies and others really motivating (if not a little guilt inducing!).

And it's great to see new people here too!

@witchwoo in my mind I am a glorious little Christmas Eve elf sprinkling cheer with children and then a quiet santa getting gifts out - but I’m not. I’ve drank a bottle of bubbles by 6pm, I’m prepping food for the next day, maybe started another bottle. Have got grouchy with DH for not helping. Kids go to bed late and I get grouchy that they won’t sleep. Then Christmas morning I feel shite and limp through the morning til I can have a drink.... how has this been my Christmas experience?! It’s amazing how the moments can all melt into some semblance of normal if you do it often enough but it’s not bloody normal! Ahhh not this year my friends!

Hi. I’ve not been posting as I’ve not been AF and I know that’s the point of the thread. But I just wanted to pop on and say I hope everything is ok with you and family @Breathmiller. You are such a positive person and it seems so unfair you are having a run of bad things happening. Take good care.

@Hangingover you fucking asshole😂😂😂

@Breathmiller hope you’re hanging in there.

@iamyourequal nice to see you here! You are always welcome back when you are ready😍

Thank you everyone, especially those who have come back on to be kind.

iamyourequal 100percentme

I am clearly going through the stages of grief although i know they have been a bit debunked these days. I have been in shock,
denila and now I am furious today! At one particular individual and at society as a whole!
I will have to dig deep to find that positivity you talk about and dig even deeper not to fall into a pissed stupor where I can hide from this fucking godawful world!
Can I get off the world for a break and come back refreshed?

Happy fucking 4 months to me tomorrow.

Denial

These feelings are all normal / expected and real stages Breathmiller so don't try and swallow them down (with alcohol or otherwise). It sounds really painful though, could you write down your anger and scrunch it up/ burn it? Go somewhere and scream it out? And just take things hour to hour and take care of yourself.

I dunno, but being without alcohol means you can work through this time, not easily, but with a 'clear' brain not a numbed down one that doesn't help you think straight. And you still have this bit of your health that no one can take away from you?

Sorry if this sounds trite, I think I am just trying to say hang in there.

Happy fucking 4 months indeed @Breathmiller

Yes. 100percentme thank you. Not trite at all. That is really helpful. I need to be able to think straight as this progresses. Alcohol would not help. Thank you

Hey everyone! I’m 30 days in today and I can’t actually quite believe it. It’s not been easy and there have been many tears but I feel so much better, stronger, clearer, I love it. Long may it continue. I’m looking towards 100 days now. Can’t say or even think forever as it freaks me out.

Breathmiller
Needsomethingtoread brilliant, well done and keep going.

Liver ultrasound booked for Jan which in some ways is a pain in the arse but in others it will really keep me focussed on abstinence.

Evening all, still going on the lime and soda .. tonight however I've gone upmarket and added mint 😆 M&S had a posh bottle of lemon, Lime and soda with a twist of mint so I thought why not.! It's amazing.

I'm having some god awful dreams, almost like childhood flashbacks.! My mother was an alcoholic and things were not very pleasant aged 7+ after my dad died suddenly. I can't be like that, it's obviously playing on my mind. Anyway.. keeping positive! I ant love reading your progress stories, it's helping so much know others are doing the same. Sending hugs to those in need.

Hi all, day 23, it’s already Wednesday here in Aus @Breathmiller so you’re at 4 months in my world
@Cartooner so good to hear you feel the same. Up until a about 2 years ago when I started to think it was problematic, I was having at least two drinks 5 days a week and if I went out I was starting to drink at home before I even got to the bar and the last one to leave. Anyone would do to talk to if it meant I could stay out longer - I told myself I was connecting with people having deep and meaningful chats but then avoiding them if I saw them in the shops etc so not really a connection was it? I didn’t think this kind of drinking was problematic and everyone around me still doesn’t. In fact if it wasn’t for the horrible hangovers, anxiety and fear i was getting for days I started to experience I would probably have continued. I think the idea is you only have to stop if you’re not meeting your responsibilities and I was. Most people around me still drink like this, I’m Irish and where I grew up this is really normal as it is where I live now in Aus.
In the last 2 years where I’ve had long stints off it I kept thinking when I start again I’ll be someone who can moderate - and I am for a while but then the conditioning of 20 years of my previous kind of drinking slips back in charge.

Checking in.

I think I'm going to do another online meeting tomorrow as I'm feeling a bit fed up.

I know I shouldn't read them but whenever a thread about an alcoholic pops up on MN the responses really get me down.

I get where it comes from, the posters in question have usually had their lives ruined by a close friend or relative's alcoholism so the level of anger is high... but the fact they speak as if addicts are a homogenous bunch and say such damning things makes me so depressed... it's like an unfiltered view into the minds of non-addicts and what they really think. Is this what people will think of me? That I'm a pathological liar who can never be trusted, a selfish pleasure-seeker who will prioritise my poison over everyone I love, even after years of sobriety?

Granted I've lied by omission, by not sharing with DP how desperate my need for booze was and how much it was affecting me, but I've never drunk in secret, I've never lied about amounts (except to my GP but I think everyone does that!)... I've just hidden how hard it's been because it's buried under layers of the horrible, horrible, horrible shame of being what these people think.

I know it's silly to get upset about it but the things some people say make me feel so hopeless.

Update; some sensible sober babes have now piled into that thread saying lovely things night night all x

@DileenODoubts well done Dileen! It's true that whole concept of grey area drinking is so important because it is real and we can all slide. I guessed you were Irish from the name, as am I, I average being in a bar about once a year so all my complication with alcohol is to do with thinking and having being affected badly by someone else's drinking for years, I live with the fear of starting to build tolerance, enjoy it too much and then start craving it when I get into bad habits of 2-3 glasses a few nights a week. But like you say fully functioning, nothing really being impacted except often feeling a bit crap the next day. I haven't drank any alcohol 5 months of 2019 and age 5 months of this year and feel like why bother going back? I'm very inspired by an Irish blogger I cut her article out once as I could relate to her and return to it quite often www.independent.ie/life/staying-dry-how-my-month-off-booze-turned-into-a-life-of-sobriety-37762072.html#:~:text=That's%20exactly%20what%20writer%20Kate%20Gunn%20did&text=I%20gave%20up%20alcohol%20for,and%20not%20a%20day%20more.