"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I think that's it - keep in mind what you've achieved.

I was just listening to the latest Love Sober podcast (episode 107) and the 2 women on that were talking about navigating a sober Christmas.

One said even though she doesn't bother with alcohol free special drinks the rest of the year, at Christmas she gets loads in as it gives you things to try.

But the bit I liked is when she said, there's no feeling like the feeling you have on Boxing Day knowing you've done a sober Christmas. You feel like a superhero.

Then come January everyone's doing it. But they're doing it from a place of overindulgence, a place of probably really regretting the Christmas period. They'll no doubt be white-knuckling it through the 30 days, doing it on willpower alone and counting down the days.

Whereas those of us who had a sober Christmas will be in a much better place.

In my mind Christmas Eve is wrapping presents with a glass of red, music on, fire on. The reality is drinking too much, going to bed far too late, getting the stockings mixed up, being awake half the night due to alcohol and feeling like DEATH when the kids wake up in the morning, and trying to get through the day. I can't wait for a sober Christmas.

Nice post @witchwoo, I needed to read that. Went to bed early and woke up energised and clear headed. Feel better today!

Just came on to say, thanks to this thread I was inspired by you all and downloaded the I Am Sober app, I’ll be three months sober tomorrow and I’ve honestly never felt better in my adult life. Thank you for the inspiration and thank you for the Podcast tip about a sober Christmas I’m off to listen to it now.

Welcome, @littlemissgrinchy and @furble (thanks for delurking, we knew you were there!)

@Needsomethingtoread you've described so well what happened to me, too. All the memories and pain came flooding back once I wasn't holding them back with booze any longer. It has been difficult facing up to things I'd been suppressing but it is worth doing. Grief counselling keeps coming up on the thread and I suspect it's something I need to do properly too. But even without having made that step I do feel more integrated and I hope that's the experience you will have.

Hello been lurking a little - room for a little one ? For lots of reasons looking to stop drinking main ones being to have decent sleep and feel rested and to have more energy in the mornings.

I’ve done the Allen carr audio book which has been brilliant and helped change my mindset but looking for some like minded friends and moral support for a sober Christmas !

Welcome @Furble and @Mrsdoubtfireswig

I am the same doing this mainly for sleep and energy issues, mainly as I have children determined to send me batty and I played with moderation a good bit and was fairly successful but it's just always there the option the will I won't I, the internal dialogue and I feel it is so much freer inside my head with one decision. Done. Rather than those weeks of shit I'm back now at wine 4+ nights a week or looking at the recycling and thinking ouch that can't be safe!

Bloody hell Bryony Gordon's book might be the hardest one yet! Anyone else read it? I'm listening to it at the moment. Now even more convinced I had OCD. Very very relatable (sadly).

@hangingover I've just looked it up on Amazon as I hadn't heard of that one. Looks good.

I think I'll be getting the tree up today! I haven't done it without a glass of something for about 20 years (except pregnancies). A toddler and 2 kittens around my feet is enough to drive anyone to booze.

Last night I bought a bottle of alcohol free sparking rosè as I'm on the hunt for nice drinks to sip over Xmas. Tried some and it was ok. Kind of 😅

But what irked me is that it cost £5, which is exactly the same price as the bottles of Prosecco that were on point of sale virtually next to it. I can't pay £5 for something that basically tastes like a cheap fizzy cherryade (although does say it's 'de-alcoholised wine')...

And welcome, @Furble and @Mrsdoubtfireswig.

How's it going, @littlemissgrinchy? I think I may try a lime and soda tonight, as you mentioned upthread.

Can I join please? Day 27 here after completely failing to moderate for most of this year then having a health scare in November. I realised that if I start again, I will inevitably have to stop again. I don’t want to have to stop again. Thank you.

Ha ha witchwoo, I've 4 kids and 2 kittens putting tree up today! Never actually did it before with a glass of wine so thankfully that's one thing I don't associate with wine. Altho I do associate twinkly lights with wine and that twinkly feeling at the first sip.

Saw an instagrammer I like saying she dis a month off and kept going...three years ago...having not been a massive drinker but still a 3 nights a week drinker up to age 45 or so and she says it's the best decision she ever made. She lists reasons why and I've a real pep in my step thinking about how good a decision this is. Day 35.

Welcome newcomers!

Some alcohol free fuel for your saturday night www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/health-and-wellness/why-my-short-break-from-drinking-made-me-give-it-up-forever-20200219-p5428h.html#:~:text=Kate%20Moss%20reportedly%20quit%20boozing,alcohol%20since%20having%20her%20son.

I have reached my 3 months sober milestone today! Next stop big 100 days! Hope everyone is having a happy sober Saturday.

@Furble Congratulations! 100 days! What an amazing achievement.

@Cartooner That was me too - 4 kids, 2 kittens, about 8 boxes full of glittery stuff and self-tangling lights from the loft - absolute hell. 😳Husband was at work, I'm due on today, and was quite honestly feeling like my head would explode with the hormones, the sparkly mess, the cats destroying everything and the chaos. A wonderful family Christmas scene 😆

But all done and looks lovely. And as you say - what a buzz to have made this decision to be sober.

I've just seen this article on a FB group that reinforces the decision to ditch the poison (it's American but quite thought provoking):

thecounter.org/public-health-groups-alcohol-label-warnings-carcinogen-cancer-link-awareness-prop-65/?fbclid=IwAR0_RWTO0x9zRNC1n1e8IEvjuPyQ8oDuZsJicDZaL9CL7S5MB9KAM32x8i0

"A public health analysis published last year estimated that the cancer risk posed by drinking one bottle of wine a week was comparable to smoking five cigarettes for men and 10 for women in the same time span."

Hope everyone has a nice chilled Sunday ahead.

Hi all, I’d like to join if that’s ok, I’m on day 20 (again) and I no longer want to do the dance of trying to decide whether I want to she a moderate drinker, I want to be someone who no longer drinks. I’ve had two stints of 5 months off it in the last two years and 2-3 months here and there, most people would think I have a good handle on it but every time I drink there’s so much noise in my head of uncertainty, much easier when I decide I’m not going to at all.

I’ve read all the quit lit and find some things really resonate and change my thinking for a while and take away desire to drink. Then after a length of time off it I start to tell myself I’m being dramatic, that I’m now a person who can take it or leave it - start having a drink here and there, no more than 2 or 3 which further proves my take it or leave it theory then a day or night comes when I press that fuck it button and the muscle memory and subconscious reasoning of 20 years of drinking is back in charge and I’m back to previous habits.

I’ve read this thread and a few of the others, thanks for starting it!

Morning! Congratulations @Furble on 3 months! Congratulations @Hangingover on 6 months.

@witchwoo that was a really interesting link link, thank you for sharing it. The cancer links really worry me, I feel as if I’ve been sleepwalking into poor choices. I’m smiling at your self-tangling lights Hope today is less chaotic for you.

Day 28 here, quietly happy with that. Tree goes up today. I shall try an AF mulled wine for that rather than the normal fizz. Full of cold, which is irritating, but I broke decades of habit last night and had a hot ginger cordial rather than a whisky toddy. Yet another situation with an automatic alcohol response - it’s going to take me a while to identify them all and make new responses.

Hope everyone has a lovely Sunday.

Oops that should have been bolded lights not underlined. I’m still learning.

Happy Sunday all! Still cracking in with the lime and soda. Just back from the gym, another treadmill pounding listening to the Over the Influence podcast. It's certainly something I can relate to and has some humour thrown in.

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend. Seem to be lots of tree prepping and festivities going on. Too soon for me.. ☺️

Hi all
Just checking in.

Welcome to all the newcomers and so good to hear of all the ticking off of days and weeks and months.

I liked what you said blackberryblossom - that you don't want to start again because you don't want to have to stop again. That resonated.

Our family has had yet another blow this week, we seem to be rolling from one crisis to another. This one is particularly awful and if I can get through this crisis without booze then I can get through any bloody thing.

I've said this before on this thread, but apart from the obvious I'm not sure how much more 2020 can throw at us. I didn't think anything could top what we've already gone through but this one has certainly smashed all expectations of what we would ever have to face in our life. And, to be honest, I feel quite broken.

But, I would feel even more broken if I fell back into alcohol. Drinking (and my ongoing issues with food) are things I CAN control in this mad out of control time.

I hit 4 months on Thursday. I have my little gold star ready on my calender already.

Hope you have all had a good AF weekend, you lovely lot .

Just checking in. Hope you’re all well. Sorry to hear things are tough @Breathmiller😢

Had another amazing run this morning. Watched the sun rise whilst pounding the country lanes. So grateful to have all this energy at the moment! Feeling much better as well than I did last week when I was gloomy.

@Breathmiller . I hope you and your family are coping OK. Four sleeps until Thursday. I love that you have your star ready and waiting.

@littlemissgrinchy your enthusiasm is so infectious! Truth told, it's a bit early to do the Christmas stuff for me too, but I was out-voted and negotiated a couple of tinsel related compromises. So different doing the tree without a drink. Nice though.

Ah @Breathmiller, I don't like the sound of that at all. I'm so sorry you're having to face more obstacles. You're so right that drinking wouldn't help, and hope you can dig deep for resources get to get you through.

I’m sorry to hear that @Breathmiller hope you can treat yourself to something on thursday to celebrate 4 months.

I’m on morning of day 21, I’m in Aus. Yesterday was so hot and everyone was having beers after the beach. Someone here gave me the idea of reclaiming the wine glass - was it @Hangingover? I had a sparkling water with lime and cucumber in a huuuge wine glass, it was lovely.

Thank you everyone. Your kindness made me cry.

Turns out my 4 month date is Wednesday not Thursday. I'll celebrate by not poisoning my body 🙂. Seems fitting.

Congratulations Breathmiller and I hope today/this week is better to you and your family.

Good luck on a new week to all.

I am having a very odd side affect to not drinking. I am sleeping longer and deeper, obviously, but I am also experiencing something my DH and family have joked about over the years my 6th sense. I had a moment in the kitchen when I said I must call Dad to DH, that I hadn't been speaking to him in two weeks. Literally 5 seconds later my phone buzzed and it was a message from my Dad. This has happened about three times, including thinking about a specific delivery - that was supposed to arrive last week - and then 10 seconds later Ding Dong, delivery man. This can all be explained away but over the years I had a few that could not be explained away very easily.... such as in university at 1am I woke in the night thinking someone has died. Found out the next morning my aunt had died during the night. I feel like my brain is more awake lately and this stuff is happening again! Weird energy.

I am not generally very woo hoo....just noticing a pattern!