"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

Hi everyone can I join? Seems like a lovely thread! I’ve been trying to cut down on drinking all year after becoming a bit too reliant on that nightly glass (or three) of wine. I quit for January and felt happier than I had done in years. Then spent the rest of the year trying to moderate but very quickly coming back to drinking every evening. Has been exhausting. When I drink, even a little, I become this horrible version of myself. Mean spirited and resentful. I don’t know why that is. It’s like depression in a glass for me. So last week that’s it. I quit. Already I feel happier and my dh commented on this a few days ago. Well done to all of you these posts have been very encouraging the last few days so I thought I’d stop lurking and join.

Welcome poppy2005
Its such a great place.
I'm am always so glad to hear it helps so many more lurkers as well as the people on the thread.

I was a serial lurker on MN for over a decade before I realised I can get so much more out of it if i dip in.

Hi all red wine here too . Also partial to rum . Definitely an all or nothing gal and a food inhaler . Running aswel - never happy always pushing for next goal as pp said . Funny how we all have the same characters.
I like the idea of thinking about the horrendous headache from red wine instead of the good things. May try my new fever tree tonic in a wine glass later

Welcome poppy some great tips and help here .

Welcome @Poppy2005 and yay @Allhallowseve, another runner!

Can I suggest something? As we notice we share some characteristics, maybe we should look at the positives and list some of the positive traits that come with our crazy pleasure-seeking personalities!😅 (Like the other side of the coin of our addictive personalities, if you know what I mean).

I’ll start! In addition to my slightly addictive self-sabotaging tendencies, I am:

• highly motivated
• energetic
• very ambitious
• a lot of fun to be around (on a good day!😅)
• always up for stuff

I just wonder whether rather than condemning ourselves for being this way, whether we can accept ourselves and love the good things about us. Curious to hear other people’s positive traits🙂 (Hope this is not too lame or self indulgent).

Yes, that's a good idea bunnies

I can be good fun to be around. I can be spontaneous which the kids love! "I'm bored too...lets go on and adventure!"
I can make things happen. I can have an idea and then think "lets do it. And why not now!"

Those are lovely traits @Breathmiller!☺️

Welcome @Poppy2005 good idea Bunnies. I've just had an epiphany from your suggestion. All my positive traits ate massively compromised by drinking. Massively. I'm really nice (honest!) and compassionate, a good friend, mum, wife, sister. But, when I'm in the drinking/hangover cycle I'm moody, tired, selfish...

@BunniesBunniesBunnies what a good idea to spin it around and think of our positive qualities. I will come back to it!

Welcome @Poppy2005 and congratulations on making a sound start.

Great idea @BunniesBunniesBunnies

I would say I'm a "go getter" if I want to do something I will do it.
I don't see barriers to things I will always find a way.
Ambitious.
Lots of energy , don't stop always up to something ( this is why I think I hate hangovers so much they completely suppress this )
Friendly

Hmm, it seems that all I’ve got in common with you guys is booze and food inhalation. I’ve rarely run anywhere unless in danger of missing a bus, I limit myself to a maximum of one yoga class per year, and I could never be described as a go getter. I don’t even get bad hangovers >sees self out

sparklinglime if it makes you feel better i prefer to walk than run. My yoga style is not fast. And I like nothing more than sitting down with a book. Or lying for hours on the bath.
Tis all about the balance.

Lol @SparklingLime, I dont run either! And you are clearly funny :)

Welcome @Poppy2005!

Yup, red wine drinker too... or ex red wine drinker! Do you think they add something just to red wine??? I like the re frame, headache inducing and let's not forget teeth staining! Plus set my roseacea off big time. But yes, I love my wine glasses, time to reclaim them, hmmm might get some karma ginger beers for them! Other suggestions welcome, I love those glasses!

Also like the personality re frame, what a nice idea. Okay, so me, think I'm pretty similar here too; I'm definitely spontaneous, super energetic, kind; will do pretty much anything to help a friend, reasonably funny, blooming tenacious and fairly creative.

Currently in bed feeling poorly and my goodness it's hard doing bugger all BUT I remember idling hours away when hungover. So glad they are in my past!

Hope all are well. Have a lovely weekend :)

I love lazing with a book too @SparklingLime

I love this #reclaimthewineglass !

Erm, in the interests of full disclosure: I haven’t read a book in years. Too busy twatting around on here...

Sometimes i say I'm going upstairs to 'read my book' in peace and twat about on here instead. It seems a much more....'wholesome' reason for wanting peace than saying I'm away to while away the hours on mumsnet.

Spot on, @Breathmiller! Although I miss books hugely.

I emptied out 10 bottles of spirit down the sink today. Told my oh that I was totally done with drinking. I was trying to keep it to myself which was stupid. Luckily he said he was really happy and glad that I have finally made the decision to do it. I’m on day 5 and have a stinking headache and have done all week. The alcohol lied to me audio book is really bringing back some hard memories from my childhood. (Alcoholic mother) I need to process them and move on. Im having a lovely pot of spiced cinnamon tea and have my nice smelly candles on. I would normally have had at least 2 g&t and half a bottle of wine by now. Feeling positive albeit with a stinking headache

Will be going to bed with my book shortly too. Reading and sleep is my go to right now

Good on you, @Needsomethingtoread, you are clearly a woman on a mission. No messing around! Alcoholic dad here, and... yeah.

@SparklingLime full disclosure ... I'm crap at running just always want to do better!
It is a balance definitely though early nights are my best friend now. I find going to bed and getting up at the same time everyday is so good for me .

Alcoholic mum here, too. And dad.

Super slow runner but I do love it. 😊

@Needsomethingtoread I remember the headaches, I think it's a detox effect. I cried a lot at the start too, a combination of regret and self recrimination and release. What are you reading at the moment? I'm a detective fiction addict - I've had a craze on Horowitz recently.

@Drybird2020 I’m currently reading Barbara Erskine as I love the back and forth in time type stories. I also have a lot of suspense/thriller books but at the minute I just can’t get into them and they started giving me nightmares. I also bought some books about Henry 8ths wives. There is a book about each wife which has been recommend. I find that era fascinating.

I think your totally right about regret, self recrimination and release. It’s painful but positive in a really weird way. Normally I would hide these feelings in wine and now I’m accepting them and letting him go. I have realised that I have been living in the past and I don’t want to do it anymore.

How long did it take for your headaches to go?

Hi, may I join you? It seems like a lovely thread. I'm trying to catch up on the preceding ones.

Day 23 here - I did start another thread on Day 1, but wanted to make sure I was definitely committed to a sober life before I raised my head on this one too. Hello!

Mum of 4, could easily drink a bottle of wine a night, every night.

I did about 70 days completely sober over the start of Lockdown1, after reading all the sober books and listening daily to Annie Grace's podcast (honestly - 10 minutes a day and it's just so inspirational.)

But I got complacent and thought I could moderate. Within a couple of weeks I was back to nightly wine.

So here I am again, but this time feels completely different. I feel almost a bit guilty to say, but it's been quite effortless this time - only a handful of times I've craved a drink, and not for long. Yet despite saying it's been easy, in all honesty it's taken me years to get to this mindset.

I'm absolutely loving the sleep (no more 3am panics!) and every aspect of sober life. My anxiety has reduced massively. I still have all the same problems, all the same stress, but I feel like it's manageable stress now. Nothing feels so huge and so scary.

I wrote on my other thread how I remember reading in, "We are the luckiest" how she wanted 'one version' of herself. When drinking I wasn't quite myself, even in subtle ways. When sober I have one true version. I don't have to keep second guessing myself.

So, here I am on Day 23 declaring a sober life. And very much looking forward to embarking on this journey with you all 👋