"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

This is so true about not drinking. I stopped smoking about twelve years ago and hardly ever ever think about it now. Very occasionally I might get the yen when out for a night and people disappear for a fag-I just go with them and sniff their rollies! I think booze is harder as it’s such a part of British culture (although hopefully that’s changing now). I nearly caved tonight but made it through dinner and then I’m fine.

Oh and I made a lush chocolate cake and have eaten about a quarter of it already!!

I’m so pleased to be back clicking ‘Alcohol Free Day’ on my app. So satisfying.

Well done haggisfish at staying strong last night.

hangingover yes, i find the tales of people who have done this for a decent amount of time inspiring. And I suppose i know how good i felt the last time I did a good long stint. That keeps me going. I have to admit to finding it fairly easy this time which I'm aware is lucky. A few wobbles but the feeling has passed. Mostly on a Friday night but it doesn't last long.
Ive been reframing it in my head. I had a long tiring day working yesterday (after a long week too,) and i thought this is the kind of day that I would get home quickly and dive into wine. "Because....well i deserve it don't i?" But when that thought came up in my head I instinctively thought thank god i don't do that anymore. It was a busy day but it was a productive good day too and it would have been spoiled if I had gone home and sunk a bottle of wine. And certainly would have spoiled my day off today.

I hit the 3 month mark today!! Which I'm so chuffed about. And 2 days of healthy eating is making me feel good too. I'm feeling positive about my health. If i can do 3 months without wine then I can do the same with healthy eating and exercise. It comes from the same positive thought process.

Congratulations, @Breathmiller!! 🎉🎉

Congrats @Breathmiller!

Hope you have a better day today @Hangingover. Are you still having to isolate because of your travels? That probably won’t be helping with your mood neither. Hope you get to go out soon for a surf or a hike.

Yaaaay @breathmiller you legend well done!

It's not for a while yet but I can just about see my 6 months/200 days on the horizon and I'm looking forward to it.

Yes we've got 968 5 days to go of quarentine. All I can see is people walking past the window on their way to the beach carrying their surfboards the swines. Must stop ordering shit off the internet too as have no job but my knitting needles arrive and antioldface stuff today
I think I forgot to write this but it seems I don't have my London house much longer. My housemate is leaving and my Pa says if I don't have a job in London after a few months he'll sell it (I rent it off his company) which is totally fair enough but I'm pretty cut up about it as it was my first and only "home" (have only ever lived in student houses, exdps house and flatshares). I mean it was only rented but Dad didn't mind if I painted it and put shelves up etc i didn't tell him there absolutely no way I can afford the rent alone though, just paying it on my room while I've been away is crippling me.

So no job, no flat, pets still in boarding miles away.... Don't feel like me any more. DP said it must be a limbo feeling, he's right

Thanks bunnies and hangingover

hanging I think you're dh is right. It's a transitional time for you. It always fees a bit scary and untethered at the time of transition but it means new wonderful things are on the horizon. Go with the flow at the moment, it will all land somewhere soon.

Congrats @Breathmiller - fantastic achievement! I really feel the difference when I don't eat well - and a bit like drinking it seems fun at the time but the next day, not so much...

I think for me the mind set for both is pretty similar - that the drinking and eating cr*p often comes from a position of self-destruction, a "don't care" moment of feeling stressed or tired or angry - literally the opposite of self care, when you take the time to look after yourself and nourish yourself properly.

Sorry you are having such an unsettling time @Hangingover - it was probably bound to be like this, with such a huge transition back but keep trying to find the positives and as @Breathmiller said, I am sure there are great events around the corner.

Yes ravenswick its weird how I spend so much time on the mind and body and peace in my work and practice but have spent swathes of my life doing realy destructive things to it in an angry manor.
"Well.. I've had a really shit dat so I'm going to punish my body with shit stuff - that'll bloody teach it" feckin madness.

My husband said this morning that he is going to have a week or more off drinking because it has crept up again the last few weeks because he had had a few crap days with work. He brews his own beer and is really into it. He says he wants to drink his beer moderately because he enjoys it, not as an emotional crutch. Made sense to me.

Afternoon! (NC because I've been on 'day one' threads before). I'm so pleased I found this one this morning - I need it. I've been here many times before then just fallen back into old, unhelpful ways. I feel completely different and sometimes completely brilliant when I don't drink for a while (just two weeks will do it). My problem is the classic cycle: I feel good so I forget how crap alcohol makes me feel so I'll have a drink! Then I feel crap but by Friday of course I feel ok and so the cycle continues... I'd like to find something good this lockdown and not being able to go out at least takes the pub option away. I think I drink out of boredom and needing to anaesthetise myself, but it never helps as I am really affected by any alcohol and have dreadful hangovers from only a couple of glasses. I never learn....but perhaps I'm starting to and I think the pp was right, that quitting gets easier each time you try because I see it increasingly for what it is and know from experience how good I feel when I abstain. I will stick with this supportive thread.

Welcome tweaker

Just discovered something interesting for all the other food inhalers on the thread....

Today I made a real effort to eat my food at the rate that might be considered normal. I only loaded half the fork and added extra chews and drank water between bites.

I actually felt the rise of that same slight panicky feeling I used to get when I realised the wine bottle was running out of a friend was taking forever to drink their glass so I couldnt have more...

It's all pesky dopamine isn't it! I wonder why some people are enslaved to it so.much more than others?

I think some of it is genetic.

I too am a gulper. I've a cup of tea here and I'm drinking it whilst it's still too hot! For me, I've wondered if it's a problem with being in the moment. I'm always looking to the next moment so kind of, 'just get this done' without much pleasure. I also think it's linked to instant gratification- my neurotic inability to wait for anything means I don't savour it either. I actually think drinking causes this. When I'm AF I notice my sense are heightened and I savour the small things and the 'moment' too.

It’s so interesting because in the rest of my life I am absolutely a delayed gratification type. I eat slowly and not to excess etc.

That’s really interesting @Hangingover. I’m not a good inhaler though I was a wine inhaler, and when I have a cigarette I have to have several, not just one. Same with running - I can’t just go for a jog, it has to be run every day, or run a half marathon. It’s quite hard work being me😂

I do often wonder about so Dopamine as I experience real highs and lows.

@hangingover and I’m sorry again for declaring your BMI too low, it’s really none of my business. Clearly I have lost my manners and social skills during the isolation period😳😳😳

Oh don't worry ducky. It is low but I am tall and have no body fat and lots of muscle so I reckon I'm ok as long as it doesnt get any lower. It probably because in quarentine you only have what the online order brings and no snacks to graze on...also in Aus we were next door to the most gorgeous Vietnamese bakery so I was previously eating 6 - 8 slices of bread every day 😂

Morning everyone
How are you all doing today my lovelies?

I'm feeling so good at the moment. Lots of routine, productive days, healthy eating, exercise, rest and downtime, reading books and just booked a massage in with my favourite massage therapist in a few weeks. And of course...no drinking! It all feels so kuch better than when I think back to 3 months ago when I was all over the place with the menopause, anxious, skin felt awful, bloated. It really is life changing. I feel so much more in control.

Sun is shining here now the fog has gone and I will go out for a walk later.

Oh ..and i ate my breakfast slowly. Savoured and enjoyed every bite. I also realised after the first bites that i take huge bites. Its like I have to get through it as quickly as possible. Like i used to do with wine. Sometimes the first glass barely registered.

So i stopped, and took small bites. And put it down (toast amd avocado) between each bite.

Is that what people who can sip and enjoy alcohol moderately do naturally? Enjoy a sip, then put it down and savour that small mouthful. Maybe.

I'm so jelly Breathmiller I'd love a massage. In my quarentine madness I've order lots of potions for my collapsing face so I keep looking out for the postie.

I had lunch last year with an ex-client of mine back in the sleb agency days who I absolutely adore but I think definitely had a drink problem too and he used to say the first glass of red "goes down in one and doesn't touch the sides". I cringe a bit now when I think of how pissed we used to get together, and then I'd have to go back to the office afterwards.

Is that what people who can sip and enjoy alcohol moderately do naturally? Enjoy a sip, then put it down and savour that small mouthful

Probably. The bastards.

I also hate when people say, "oh I don't drink to get drunk". I'm like....why do it then?! If you're not putting dehydrating poison into your body for the express purpose of landing somewhere on the drunk scale what's the point??
Baffling

Ohhh I love a massage too!!!

Guys, tomorrow will be 7 months for me!
My app also tells me that I’ve saved £1000!!!
I can’t quite believe I’ve made it this far, I’m really proud of myself🤩🤩🤩

bunnies 7 months is amazing!! You rightly should be soooo proud of yourself.
And that much money? I hadn't thought it could be so much.

I feel much less guilty about paying for that massage now.

What has everyone else been buying that they might have not done so readily before?

I have been buying books for my kindle without any guilt at all.
I can't believe I would get so funny about spending 4.99 on a book once a week but would think nothing of spending a tenner on a bottle of wine on a Friday/Saturday/sunday (And the rest) .

Oh, @BunniesBunniesBunnies, I’m so happy for you!! 🎉🎉 That is a hell of an achievement!! An especially huge achievement as you’ve had a rough time of it lately and stuck AF through everything. 💜

I also have total cognitive dissonance with money spent on alcohol, Breathmiller. I’d say it’s denial (in my case at least). I wouldn’t spend money so unthinkingly in any other area, but cash spent on alcohol is DIFFERENT (and when I was binging that also applied to junk food).