Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

Well done, SophieB. I totally get that 'meh' feeling. Even more so now it's Friday. Trying to play it forward to feeling fresh tomorrow morning (great tip Salty, thanks). And I've got some fancy ginger beer I'm hoping will feel special. Have ahappy sober weekend everyone.

Love the ‘playing it forward’ tip, Salty. I’m doing that right now as my mind wanders to a cold glass of vino in the garden. Tomorrow morning will be SO much better if I don’t drink, though, I know this. Thank you .

Hello everyone thankyou for concern about pain, it comes and goes, but today as it’s sunny it’s coffee then bitter lemon, I can not stress how this helps me this time of year. Bottle by me and bottle in the bedroom I watch tv at night in there dh watches his stuff in the living room.

Have just read this thread I had a very bad evening last night,my DH is now not really talking to me but I deserve this.

So great to hear all of your inspiring stories that I would love to join you if that is ok

I have been hear many times before and currently really hate myself. Just about to go for a walk and listen to some quit lit. I now need to find an alternative drink. Good luck all.

Evening @Rupertpenrysmistress

Hope your walk helps clear your head a bit

Don’t hate yourself....
Alcohol is a powerful drug and some of us cannot manage it well. Do you want to stop drinking? If so, stick around. We’ve probably all had some alcohol related shockers. I’ve made a holy show of myself on countless occasions, honestly...

No judgement. Come back when you’re feeling up to it and have a chat.

So, to avoid the urge for wine tonight, and to shut the bloody wine witch up, I bought some non alcohol wine (fizzy stuff from Sainsbo's). It's not too bad. Not like my favourite fizz, by a mile, but makes a change from herbal tea and water.
Welcome @Rupertpenrysmistress, no judgement here my love, we all get it.
Take care all x

Booze free night for me again.
I think the lockdown change to normal life is helping.I'm not going out to friends where it would be very difficult to refuse a glass of wine.
Slept badly last night - I just think I am adapting to the new normal. Much more awake in the evening, not dozing thanks to a few drinks.

Thanks straight and narrow and Sophieb100 I do feel a little better. I need to quit that is it.

I cannot moderate 1 leads to who knows how many more. Like you guys have all mentioned alcohol induces anxiety and I already suffer yet, I think it helps. Where is the logic.

So day 1 today and just I day at a time. I really need to do this my DH has had enough and I surely cannot be a good role model for my DC. That should be enough.

I think this thread will help me to be accountable. I know how addictive this drug is but it's my choice to do it. Hope you all have a lovely evening.

Evening all!

Glad the 'play it forward' helped @Teetotallyimperfect and @StraightAndNarrow. I read it somewhere and believe me, if it actually was a tape I would have worn it out this last hour!

@Rupertpenrysmistress as has already been said, we do get it. As Straight said, alcohol really is a powerful drug. We beat ourselves up for our mistakes which makes us feel rubbish so we drink more. It's a horrible bloody cycle. Come join us if you want to quit.

Glad the wine is passable @sophieB100, I tried an alcohol free red when I (almost) did Dry Jan. It was absolutely awful so it's put me off af wine.

Bit of a wobble this evening, went for a walk and bumped into a few people doing the same. ALL of them said they were going home to have drinks or made some reference to the amount they have been drinking. I guess this is actually the best time to give up, at least I can block most of it out for the moment. Trying to remind myself that they are likely to either be the people who can stop at 2 or save it for the weekend (not me) or also have drink problems they probably need to address so there is nothing to be envious off.

So my drink of choice is a giant gin glass, filled with ice, slices of fruit, posh apple and elderflower cordial and fevertree tonic. My gins were never this fancy...

Happy Friday ladies, may the wine witch be on annual leave!

@Saltypotato - I do understand, when other people say they are going to have a couple of drinks, they actually mean a couple of drinks! Then I think, "yes, they are right, I will have a couple too" but they stop at a couple, and I don't. But I think we sometimes have to see this as something that a lot of people can control, and we can't. We are wired differently, so have to act differently. I work (or did, when life was normal, like back in February!) with teachers, who would say, "Oh, I had 3 glasses of wine last night", and the others are saying, "Really, 3 glasses?? Are you ok?" And they are genuinely amazed at this confession. And I'm sitting there, trying not to show on my face that I'm thinking, "Only 3 glasses... what's the problem with that...I've spilt more than some of this lot have drunk!"

I've fallen of the wagon so many times @Rupertpenrysmistress. I've lots count of the times I've tried to moderate. All I learnt from that was that it's bloody hard work, and all you think about is when and how much you can have. Then it's never enough. It's not about the days you get it wrong, it's about stringing together the days you get it right. So let's start getting some of those days done and dusted.

We can do this.

Welcome Rupert. I totally understand the self loathing but be gentle with yourself. We live in a very alcohol centric society so its unsurprising that some of us struggle to maintain a healthy relationship with such a powerful drug.

Day 6. Well this is nice. First Saturday morning in a while that I don't have a fuzzy head and gripey stomach. Have a good day everyone.

I'm foul today. I gained a few lb, my stomach is still bloated and sore (I've always suffered IBS symptoms if stressed plus my period is imminent) My husbands face is rubbing me up the wrong way and I'm already dreading drinks with this weeks zoom meeting in the 'pub'. British culture is so alcohol related isn't it? I've noticed it more since giving up, I'm sure most european countries would suggest a zoom meeting at the coffee shop rather than pub

What a start to the weekend!

Some of my reasons for stopping -
Almost every evening is lolling in front of the tele after having one too many. Such as waste of life.
Too heavy, am getting knee and hip pains. Possibly age related but carrying a couple of stone too many can't be helping.
Extra weight means NO clothes look great. Sometimes they look fine (comments from others say that) but I know they would look much better if I didn't have the rolls of fat round my middle. Booze is extra calories.
Bust too heavy. Getting older means fat on belly, upperarms and bust. Bra straps dig in and bras feel too tight. Losing that weight would be bliss.
Bad example to adult DCs. They all drink too much but I can't criticise at present.
Feel yuck the next day. Not hungover, just not as well as I should when I eat reasonably healthily.
I don't think it is helping my ageing brain. Don't want to encourage dementia and I would think your brain being awash with alcohol on a daily basis, even if not a great deal, is not to be recommended.
That's enough - feel quite excited about the new me if when I stick at this.

Morning all.

@Saltypotato
Sorry you’re feeling shitty today. I get terrible PMT and IBS bloat, so I feel your pain on that front. It makes you feel so sluggish and grotty, doesn’t it?

You’re right about the UK drink culture. I’m a Londoner, but throw my Irish family in to the mix as well, and I’m surrounded by booze messages!

@EdwinaMay
All of your reasons for not drinking resonate with me - the weight, belly, example you your DC, lack of energy, fears about dementia etc.
I am having to remind myself of these things every single day, and I’ve written quite a lot of it down too, as I find it more ‘real’ if I get it out of my head and there in black and white on the page.

I’ve had a nice morning - yoga, AA meeting, brunch - but I’m massively procrastinating about doing housework right now and feeling a bit grumpy and stir crazy. I feel like jumping on the tube and going into central London for a ‘normal’ day out, shopping, maybe lunch with friends. But that’s not happening, obviously, and my dirty kitchen floor is calling....

Catch you later, folks .

A newbie to these threads, so please be gentle.
I had a row last night with OH.
It has occurred to me before that as I get older (late fifties) my alcohol tolerance has dropped and when I drink at the weekend I either get sleepy, soppy, very chatty or aggressive (verbally) to OH.
Alcohol is a habit I've had for over forty years, but now I need to break it.
I use it socially as a crutch, but when I'm with friends and drinking, I often have too much and am embarrassed.
I also drink when I'm at home with the family and some of the things (that I remember), cause me to squirm.
Today is day one of the new controlled me 😁

I decided to try and do at least the week alcohol free. Enjoyed it more last night (red wine). It's another way of distinguishing the days too I suppose, but now I actually don't feel like it tonight TBH.

Good luck to everyone!

Welcome, sausage lots of support here for you.

Salty, can you get outside on your own for a bit? Maybe a walk with a podcast or something. It's the only thing that works for me when I'm feeling a bit stabby.

Welcome @SausageCrush and @j712adrian. Hope you are finding the first night ok? Lots of support here ♥️

@EdwinaMay that was a really positive list of reasons to give up. It also inspired me to start my own, thanks I really needed a boot up the butt today.

My mood hasn't improved much so I'm lying low today, I don't even think it's drink related to be honest. I'm just in a funk. Yep @StraightAndNarrow, it is very miserable - I'm really trying to get the water down me today in the hope it will help!
One positive, because I'm not hungover I've been able to keep myself moving through this mood. Ive had a walk, baked, gardened. I'm getting an idea how retirment feels 😂😁

Off to slink into pjs and watch rubbish on netflix. I hope you are all having a good Saturday xx

I can't quit. I might manage 1 day abstinence a week. Never imagined myself like this.

So day 2 today and feeling good, I think the key is to do 1 day at a time forever seems impossible. However, it is hard to read some of the threads on here, the justification it's ok to drink because of covid.

Be great to wake up without a hangover just hope I can do this tomorrow. Salty I agree without the hangover the want to do things is so much easier, don't feel I am wasting the day feeling below par.

Have a good night everyone.

InFiveMins, you can do this. Try 2 alcohol free days first, then three...
What has helped so far? Books, podcasts, online groups, journaling? Keep going and build up slowly. And don't be scared to get extra support if you need it. See your GP or contact AA. Find the thing that helps you.

Well done, Rupert Yes, good advice, one day at a time. It's when I look too far ahead I start telling myself I can't do it.

Teetotally and Rupert: yes, I agree on the one day at a time mindset. I’ve quit before for around 110 days...something like that...and when I started drinking again, it wasn’t some big night out or a special occasion (hell, I’d done a busy xmas a NYE without drinking)...I just agreed to a glass of wine whilst having a quiet, early dinner with my husband and another couple at their house. That glass turned into the entire bottle and that was it. I actually find I’m more tempted on the quiet nights in rather than a big night out.
Anyway, day 6 here. I’m finding going for a run or doing Hiit training and yoga helps me keep on the right track so I’ll be doing that today.
Also, I got an email from Annie Grace to say the online alcohol Experiment is starting up again on 1st May - it says it’s $47 so probs about £40. Has anyone done this? I’ve read her book which was great.

I've not done it before (have just ordered her book though) but I'm doing the OYNB 28 day challenge (it's free through insta at the moment). I quite like the daily emails although I haven't accessed the online support yet.

You're doing great with the exercise - I need to start too. I just haven't got the motivation at the moment. Hopefully I'll get some energy back soon...

34 years sober one day at a time

Wow! Some inspiring stuff on here - thanks all.

Last night was my first Saturday night being alcohol free in many years.

I celebrated with a glass of cucumber flavoured sparkling water (yes, really) in one of our 'special' glasses with lots of ice and started a new series on Netflix.

This morning I'm not sure how I feel. A bit low perhaps - almost hungover? Guess I'll feel the benefits in due course...