Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

@Saltypotato thank you. Yes, you’re right really. I guess when I quit last time I read so much stuff about ‘admitting’ there is a problem etc that I feel I can never really do it long term without saying so. But like you said, I can always just say something about giving my liver a rest in the short term and then say to people I’ve stopped for health reasons or something. That’s for later though. For now I’ve got to just focus on today. Read a few books last time...‘quit lit’ as they call it and I’ve just been out for a 5k walk whilst listening to ‘girl walks into a bar’. It’s good so far.
Well done on day 6 to you and to everyone else on here.

6 years sober as well, I've fallen off the wagon twice and made such a tit of myself I have vowed NEVER again! Add to that the flushing, the toilet trips, smoking, hangovers and anxiety there doesn't seem much point to alcohol any more

I am going to join if that's okay? I completely dry January and felt so good about myself, stress levels were reduced, my anxiety almost gone and I was having the best nights sleep I've had in years. I fell off the wagon in February and while I dont have a dependency on Alcohol, I just dont seem to have any balance and have spent every night of lockdown drinking which in turn has caused me to have disturbed sleep, raised anxiety and an overall horrible feeling. It has to stop.

I want to feel clear headed and be able to sleep at night without waking up at 2:30am with the weight of the world on my shoulders!

Lovely to see more of us who are struggling join this thread.
I used to worry a lot about what I would tell people, because I thought they would judge me as someone who had a real problem (which I think I did) and I was ashamed of that.
I don't feel like that now - we don't need to justify why we do or don't drink, if others press me I will say that I'm having a break, and not make a big deal of it.

People who do make a deal of it either aren't worth bothering about, or they have their own worries about their drinking, and us quitting might make them face them.

I so wish I could be like my DS who has one can of cider every night, enjoys it and never wants more. But I'm not, once I get the taste, I struggle to stop. I accept that now.

At least in this lockdown, there are no pubs, social situations where people question our choice of a soft drink.

Also, drinking causes anxiety, and I think we worry a lot about our drinking, so assume others judge us. When we stop, we feel (or I know I do) much less anxious, so we see it more rationally, and lot of our worries about what others think, vanish.

Have a good day all.
Love this thread! Such a supportive one.

Well, I failed the first day - had a beer in the sunshine. Stupid really as I had lemonade in the fridge which would have done.
Anyway, surely today I'll be sensible.

I’ve admitted to my DH that I have a problem (like he didn’t know!) and I’ve talked to my kids (young teens) honestly but age appropriately about needing to stop drinking and get some help with that.

I needed them to know the truth. Part of my alcoholism is the secrecy, hiding, dishonesty...just all that sneaky bullshit...and I needed to flush that out in the cold light of day with the people I live with.

Other than that, I’m not worrying about what I’m going to tell people until we approach coming out of lockdown. One day at a time!

Afternoon all! I have just got back from an hour long walk through the countryside and I'm feeling stronger today... lets see what 5pm brings. Last night I sat and watched the stars for a while (we were initially looking for satellites) and it was really calming and grounding so I may do that again this eve. It's surprising how sharp and vibrant things feel when your sober, even though I was struggling.
Well done @aceyace. I am aspiring to be at that stage. Fab achievement

@Peaches2222 have you looked at 'The Naked Mind'? I've only dipped in but she seems to concentrate on removing guilt and it makes a lot of sense. Someone else may know more than I do on it?

Hi @Moonlite, come on in and get comfy...we are here for the long haul hopefully! I can relate to everything you said, it's surprising how we all have the same negative feelings about alcohol. Seems it's not as much fun as the constant Facebook memes say eh!

I totally agree @SophieB100. On a thread on here somewhere someone said that the people who encourage you to drink are the same people who will laugh and gossip when you do something stupid drunk. They haven't got your back either way. It's so true. I think I want to move more towards people who bring positivity and happiness to my life now than worry about the opinion of the masses. Lifes too short. I feel the glimmer of a new found confidence/renewed self esteem now that I am thinking more about long term sobriety.

Hope everyone is getting some sunshine, it's beautiful here

Just saw your post @EdwinaMay. Please write it off and keep going if you can. You slipped but you don't need to fall. We can do this x

Hello everyone, slips will happen I had two in our marriage my second husband I vowed never to put him through what my ex did to me, no I don’t miss the dreadful hangovers, the blackouts, today I’ve slept a lot because of dreadful pain, due to coil, but my bitter lemon is there. 🤗

Yes, I had lemonade tonight. And am thinking about what to do this evening - instead of just watching the tele. After a few wines it's hard to get motivated to do anything so it wastes a lot of time.

I'd like to join you please. I'm day one. I give up alcohol periodically (and once for 4 months), feel amazing and notice so many positive changes in my life, and then think I can just have the occasional drink. Except soon it's every day again.

Since lockdown I've been drinking every night and I've been getting more and more anxious, sleeping less and less, eating more and being more of an angry and miserable bitch. It's such a viscous circle and while I'm in the middle of it I can't see what is causing it! I just think "well I can't stop drinking now while I'm feeling like this" and so it continues.

So I'm starting again today. Today has been fine and I was quite happy with my Pukka tea but I know the tricky days are probably around the corner.

I'm rereading all my quit lit and I've signed up for OYNB (free 28 days on instagram). So here I go again! Great to have some company

Evening all!
Hello, @Teetotallyimperfect, I think we might me twins! So much of your post resonates.
I'm having yet another earlier night, to avoid the wine witch whispering in my ear.
Lovely to catch up on all your news.
Take care x

Aw, Edwina, don't beat yourself up over a slip up. It happens. Forget it and start again. x

@Holothane, sorry to hear you are in pain, I hope you are feeling better.

i’m also 6 years sober!

one day at a time is the only way through it. AA saved my life - it’s not for everyone but i was a very low-bottom drunk and nearly died.

if you can distract yourself through the daily Witching Hour it will help immensely. also, remember that your brain usually only sustains a craving for 20 minutes, and 20 minutes is doable.

you’re all at the start of a much brighter future. i regret much in life, but i have never regretted getting sober.

Thanks for your words of experience @Holothane, I hope you feel better soon!

Well done @EdwinaMay, so glad you are staying with us :)

Welcome @Teetotallyimperfect! I never thought to look on Instagram, I mainly use that for looking at other peoples food, perfect houses and perfect figures I think I might have a look. Day 2 is a good day I think, you feel a bit fresher straight away.

@aweaponcalledtheword, thanks for sharing. It helps to hear other peoples success stories. I always assumed witching hour was anytime after 5pm but the last few nights I have noticed it is really between 5-7.30pm, after that it's as if my brain gives up and accepts the situation. It makes it easier getting to know where my weak spots are so I can prepare for them.

In other news, I have eaten half a tub of Ben&Jerrys and a bowl of popcorn. I will need to be rolled out of this house when the time comes to return to society...I really hope the over eating calms down.

Morning all.

Just checking in between working from home jobs to send you all lots of best wishes for staying sober today.

Day 9 for me. Longest I’ve been without a drink in years. Practically mainlining coffee, but at least it’s not wine! .

I’ve been doing a yoga video around ‘wine witching hour’ (4-5pm ish for me) followed by a mint tea, which is helping a lot so far.

Catch you all later

Day 2 here. Had a good nights sleep- didn’t miss waking around 4am with ‘the dread’. Got rid of all the wine in the house yesterday so no immediate temptation. Ran 5k this morning too so felt good after that. @Saltypotato...when I gave up last time, I would eat Ben and Jerry’s every night...and chocolate cake...and skittles!! Trying not to go down that road again. I think for me, I just substituted wine for sweet stuff as I would look forward to that in the evening in the same way I did for wine. It’s okay for a couple of weeks but this went on for the entire three months for me!!

You are all wonderful facing up to this. I'm just over a year without alcohol. I resonate with everything I have read on here.
I found quit lit made the difference. I read everything I could get my hands on, Annie Grace, Jason Vale, and Craig Beck.
I also love Recovery Elevator podcasts. Its the best thing I have ever done.

Hi all!

I have also done some yoga today, also went on a long walk again with the family. Smashed 9000 steps before the dog gave up the will to continue!

Had to shop for relatives today, so hard to pass the drinks aisle. I really waivered. But I'm home, tonic water and posh cordial and some crisps for later. @peaches2222 I am scared of going down the same route with the snacking, especially of using weight gain as an excuse tostart drinking again. Going to bed warlier tonight with my new 'The Naked Mind' audiobook. I downloaded it last night but fell asleep.

Has anyone else found they are sleeping more? I had a solid 10 hours sleep last night. Can't remember doing that for a while unless I was sleeping off a heavy night!

Hope you are all well and managed to keep the wine witch at bay this eve

Evening all.

That sounds like a positive day @Saltypotato
I know what you mean about the pull of the drinks aisle. I’m grateful that I’m not just popping into Sainsbury’s every day after work ‘for milk’ and feeling the lure of the wine aisle 😫. I’m in my little bubble at the moment and somewhat sheltered from temptation for a bit.

Yoga is good, isn’t it? Being a boozer, I’ve been SO slack with exercise for l...we’ll...years! Currently I’m on Day 8 of 30 days of yoga with Adrienne on YouTube and it’s helping me generally feel a bit less like a big, fat, boozy sack of spuds and more like a lithe, energetic, sober sylph . Well, there’s a lot of chocolate consumption going on, too, but you know...one thing at a time!

Went to a lovely women’s AA zoom meeting tonight which has left me feeling warm and fuzzy. Gonna have a cuppa and watch a film.

Well done all you soberistas, and get back in the saddle tomorrow any slippers 😘

I might give Adrienne another go, I did a few days in January (when I was doing dry Jan, funny how I let it slip in Feb when I picked up a drink again!) I am determined to lose 2 stone when my head is clearer 😁

What are the AA meetings like? The structure of them? It's not something I've ever looked into to be truthful. Mainly because I've spent a lot of time avoiding admitting I have a problem.

Screw it, I'm going to do some yoga now. One benefit of not drinking is a full evening. It used to be a write off after 6...

Good for you, Salty! The evenings are definitely longer without alcohol.

I've just found Recovery Elevator on Spotify. So excited to have a new sobriety podcast to listen to! Thank you, Northern.

I really wanted a cold G&T when I got in from work but I went for a long walk instead. Hoping to sleep better tonight. Keep going everyone!

I'm going to bed early because the evenings are too long! But the mornings as so much nicer, no guilt, headache, self reproach.
Impressed with you lot exercising!
Night all, take care x