Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

Can I join please? My drinking has been on the increase for a couple of years, but since lockdown I have been drinking every day, usually a couple of g&ts followed by half a bottle of wine. I'm a key worker, so not even got being at home as an excuse.
Last night I finished the gin (2 drinks) and there is no wine in the house, so today is day 1...

Hey all (and hey new people!), today will be my day 10. I’m hanging in there, still scared about the future but if I take it one day at a time I’m fine. Like another poster said, it’s nice being able to exercise in the evening since I’m sober! I’ve been doing lots of running and feel great! Hope you all have a good day

Third day here for me.
We have a house full of booze which DH wants (bit of a hoarder) so that doesn't help but I feel I need to be able to say no. I am doing this for me, no one else. I really need to lose weight (an oldie's aching knees and hips) and no booze should definitely make a difference.

Hello to all the new posters! We're all in this together (as they say in the Briefing!)
So I got up really early and went to the Co Op round the corner when it was really quiet to get my mum and dad's shopping.
A week ago I would still be in bed after a rough night, feeling guilty and sad.
I really wanted a drink last night, but just made myself a cup of tea and distracted myself. So glad I didn't cave.
One day at a time.
Today, I won't drink.
Have a good day everyone

Afternoon all

Welcome @Thisismyhappyface .

I’m Day 10 today, too! @BunniesBunniesBunnies. I can’t believe it, really. Longest I’ve gone without a drink in a long time. Def feeling more energetic and upbeat without all the depressive alcohol rumbling around my system....

@SophieB100 I’m bloody impressed witj myself for actually sticking to yoga for more than a couple of days! Drinking made me very lazy. Hopefully I can cultivate some new healthy habits in my sobriety .

@Saltypotato I’ve got at least 20lbs of couch potato wine belly to lose, too, so let’s hope it starts coming off soon.

Re: AA - I’m finding a daily meeting is massively helping to keep my head straight. It’s not for everyone, for sure. I went to a couple of meetings last year when I wanted to cut down on my drinking but hadn’t faced up to my addiction, and I hated it. Found it uncomfortable, weird and hated the spiritual aspect to it. In truth, I didn’t really understand it and I wasn’t ready for it. I had a hundred reasons in my head for why it wasn’t relevant to me, it was stupid, it wouldn’t work etc.

I feel differently this time. I’m loving the zoom meetings and getting so much from them. I’ve found a few meetings I’m attending regularly. You have to get past the ‘AA’ speak, which can seem a bit cliquey and sometimes a bit hippy dippy lovey dovey, but the essence of the meetings is fellowship and support and it has been really quite wonderful so far.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need the structure and discipline of a programme, but that’s not going to be the same for everyone.
If anyone is in London and interested in attending a meeting, I can give you details of the ones I’ve been attending if interested.

Have a great day all 💐

I can relate to a lot of this, well done to you all for recognising it and trying to do something about it.

Lockdown has def encouraged me to drink even more than usual, most nights a bottle of wine. Managed not to last night and Monday. I worry about my teen daughter who also likes a drink and now joins us when we crack it open, whereas before she would have been out. She asked for a GnT last night and I said no, not good to drink every night, but it sounded a bit hollow coming from someone she has seen drink too much regularly.

Hello & welcome to @Thisismyhappyface and @BigSandyBalls2015

It is so lovely checking in today and seeing so many positive messages. It seems as though, even though we are all struggling in our own ways, we are all in a more positive mindset without the alcohol in our system? I'm on Day 7 today, my husband has commented that I am more 'sparkly' and with it but I can't say I feel much different.

Also, I am still so tired, sleeping soundly for 9-10 hours a night. I hope it is just me catching up on sleep as it is usually alcohol induced. Completed over 10,000 steps with my daughter today on a long, uphill walk. So maybe it is the long walks in the fresh air after a few weeks of nothingness that's tiring me. I was so groggy this morning that I woke with that feeling of dread/self loathing in my stomach thinking I had been drinking, it was so nice when I remembered I hadn't!

100% agree with what has been said above, I can do today without a drink but I still can't think further than that. I have put the amount I am saving across to my savings account everyday and I am enjoying watching it slowly build.

Thanks you for explaining AA to me @StraightAndNarrow, at the moment my resolve seems ok with the help of The Naked Mind but I will definitely keep it up my sleeve if I need extra help. I am glad it is working for you, you seem really upbeat!

Tonic in the fridge, ice in the freezer. A g-less-t is on the cards this eve. Hope you are all hanging in there :)

I've just got home from.work, and am having a cup of tea. I would usually have a G&T when I got in. Feels odd, but I know this is what I need to do. I cycled to.and from work, and am planning a run tomorrow. Hoping that will keep me focused on feeling a bit healthier

It's so helpful to read all your messages. I've been a bit up and down today. I think I'm getting impatient for the benefits and I'm only day 3. I know it takes time but I want to feel better now. And all day the thought that I obviously can't do this forever keeps popping into my head. But I don't want to be in a 3 monthly binge/go sober cycle. It definitely gets harder each time I start again because my brain tells me I can just drink and then give up again.

Hope you all have a peaceful evening.

Happyface, that after work G&T gets to be such a ritual doesn't it. It's great you can cycle to work. I'm walking more but that's all on the exercise front. You lot are putting me to shame!

@Thisismyhappyface have you tried something sharp like grapefruit squash and tonic? Or bitters and tonic? So that you still keep your routine. I don't know if it will work for you but I alternate between a gin glass filled with ice, a posh cordial and tonic (in place of g&t) and a large tumbler filled with ice with a cold diet coke (in place of vodka and coke) those were my favourite drinks. Having them super cold seems to trick my brain and I am a lot calmer keeping to my routine if I am struggling.

@Teetotallyimperfect I am sorry to hear you are struggling this eve, I think it washes over in waves doesn't it? One day at a time, ignore your brain trying to trick you. We can do anything for just one day, we've got this!

I am not eating crisps or ice cream this evening - hurrah!

@saltypotato that's a good idea, will have a look in Tesco tomorrow. I found tonight really dragged without wine, which is a sign of how dependent I have become

Day 9 today, I thought it was day 8 so that was a nice surprise

I'm in very, very good spirits and really enjoying being alcohol free. Always easier to say in the day I know. From an almost nightly; very few evenings missed, half bottle of gin/vodka or bottle of wine to nothing. I'm getting more confident with my body everyday. Before I was afraid to push it with exercise as I thought I'd have a stroke (yes; slightly ott) but my confidence is increasing each day.

Last night was rough, I lay there for hours thinking how the drink made me a disengaged parent lots of times, how I've often been grumpy with my husband after a few/when I had a few drinks/hungover. Ahh, more bedtime yoga and meditation tonight.

Hope you all had another successful evening xx

That’s a very cheering update @Saltypotato .

I’ve had a good day today, too. Yoga and meditation in between WFH. I’m also (tentatively!) starting to be able to push my body a bit more, which feels great.

Just having a lemon green tea at about the time I’d usually be cracking open the wine. Day 11. Result!

Day 4 for me. Had a busy day so managed not to think of booze much - thank goodness for nice sunny weather so I can get in the garden (one of the lucky ones with a big garden).

You're doing brilliantly, Salty. Try not to look back, you can't change it, focus on the good stuff to come.

I've been slightly better today. I'm still working whilst DH has been furloughed. I expected him to pick up the slack at home but he is doing the bare minimum which is making me a bit snippy and resentful. And that's when I want a drink to take the edge off. I'm trying to remember it won't be forever. And hopefully I'll start sleeping better soon too.

We can do this!

Hope you're all doing ok.
I'm struggling, but determined. Definitely feel better in the mornings, but the evenings are a bit 'meh'. Everything is, tbh, I miss not going into work every day (am on a rota to work in school with key worker kids). And I'm stressed about the future, as I know we all are. But I do know that I'd have all the boredom, stress etc if I was drinking too!

So I'll keep going, but I'm not going to lie and say I don't want a glass or two in the evenings, to zone out for a bit, but I won't if you lot won't!!
Take care all.
Thanks for thread again OP, it's nice to connect with others who 'get it'.

Yes SophieB, I feel the same. Last night I really wanted wine. Was thinking about it from about 5 till 8 on and off. Just kept thinking of the positives of stopping and the fact that if I drink tonight then I’ll drink tomorrow and the next day and then I’ll be back in the downward spiral. I agree, the mornings are great and I feel so proud that I didn’t drink the night before but then seem to forget this feeling in the afternoon.
Anyway, day 5 today. Gonna continue listening to ‘Girl Walks Out of a Bar’ on audiobook when I go out for exercise later. It’s great so far.
@Saltypotato...I think you asked if I’d read Naked Mind- yes but I think I’ll read it again. And ‘Blackout’ by Sarah Hepola (I think that’s how you spell her surname)....that book is brilliant but very scary when she describes her ‘blackouts’ from alcohol and the things that happened to her whilst she had blacked out and yet she had no recollection. That was a real eye-opener for me.

Morning everyone.

Just thought I’d pop in to give us all a pat on the back for our efforts so far, wherever we are with this no drinking malarkey .

@SophieB100
I haven’t had any real wine cravings (yet...I know they’ll come) but I totally get that feeling of wanting to zone out in the evenings with a drink, especially in this weird period of time. It’s hard. I’m trying to find other ways to relax - yoga, baths, walks etc - but nothing is like that ‘hit’ you get with the first drink.

I guess it really is what @Peaches2222 says about trying to hold on to that good feeling in the morning (and congratulating yourself each night you go to bed sober).

I’ve been sleeping better since I stopped boozing, but I think I drank too much coffee yesterday, as I woke up around 3am with my heart pounding and that feeling you get when you’ve drunk too much. It was a sharp reminder of one of the baby reasons I want to stop drinking, as I HATE that angsty dread feeling so, so much. Was such a relief when I went back to sleep and woke at 7am feeling calmer and clear headed!

many not baby!

Good morning everyone. I joined a few days ago &failed that very night however had my 1st AF night last night and slept straight through for the first since lockdown began. I woke feeling refreshed and happy and will remember this feeling when the nights come around and I'm tempted to have a beer.

My plan today is to buy a new book on my kindle as reading helps me sleep and will keep me off boose as I hate trying to read when drinking. I've bought some fanta exotic and ice for this evening (Also some cheese doritos and hot salsa )

It's always around 9 oclock when the kids are in bed that I'm tempted to have one so I'll make sure that's my new reading time to distract myself

Straightandnarrow: yes, isn’t the sleep amazing! When I quit last time, in the Christmas holidays I was sleeping until 11am some days!! Naughty but glorious!!
@Saltypotato....after me saying I was trying not to go down the ‘ice cream/ sweets / cake’ route, I’m afraid I have succumbed! Last night I had dolly mixtures, foam bananas, sherbet flying saucers...yikes!! It’s getting me through though and I need that right now. I’ll try and not let it get out of control....but I am having a family-size packet of skittles later.

Thanks everyone, I know it's the right thing to do, and just keep on.

I'm not sleeping well at all, but when I quit last November (for over a month) it took a good two weeks before I slept properly, and then it was amazing, so I'm about a week away from that.

At least being off work I can have an afternoon nap!

for all of you, because you're amazing!

Morning all!

Lovely to read the updates and see we are all on track ♥️

I find when I'm craving a drink (nightly!) I play it forward in my head so for me.... i buy a bottle, drink until I'm drunk as a 'reward' for abstaining for a while, wake up at 5am covered in sweat and desperately unhappy at failing. Then I'm back at square one, do I buy another bottle and continue or start again? If I find the strength to start again I'm starting at Day 1 with less confidence i can do it, feeling everything I felt 10 days ago. Rather than Day 10. I have to do this now, one slip could put me back months/a year before I find the courage to start again. If you make your play it forward tape really prominent in your mind it does help I think.

Well done for coming back with a plan @Moonlite. That's not easy. We are all in the same boat here so it really does help to check in I find. Someone might have that bit if advice/moral support that stops you drinking on a weak night.

@peaches2222 I have started having dinner later to avoid snacking. It's helped a bit. But I'm going with whatever it takes to get me through this. If i have to lose half a stone extra, so be it. At least I'll have the energy to prep healthy food and stick to an exercise routine. Enjoy the skittles ♥️

The side effects just keep on coming. I have been so bloated the last 4 days that I'm in stretchy trackie pants. Maybe its my stomach adjusting, maybe I'm too carb heavy at the mo? I had visions of looking radiant, so far bloated and tired sums it up

Also, reading 'The Naked Mind' is changing my perception of alcohol, I'm starting to see it as a poison. One I would happily still drink at the moment but slowly my mindset is changing.

Good luck for another sober day all!

Ps, it's This Naked Mind not The Naked Mind if anyone is looking for it!