Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

Well done everyone staying sober - I'm finding so many triggers and lots or days 1' but definitely managing to do blocks of days and that's a lot better than I was. I never regret going af and almost always regret drinking - why can't my brain appreciate that 😬😬? How are you getting on @Holothane. Well done @SophieB100 x

Well done everyone staying sober - I'm finding so many triggers and lots or days 1' but definitely managing to do blocks of days and that's a lot better than I was. I never regret going af and almost always regret drinking - why can't my brain appreciate that 😬😬? How are you getting on @Holothane. Well done @SophieB100 x

Tonight my bad pains came back the minute I told dh he said codiene tablet, so that’s helped, I’ve had a couple of less pain days so was not pleased when the agony came back, it’s desired now the minute the bad pain starts it’s a codeine not perfect but one then should stay off the pain then, but I’m sober and that will do for now. Birthday soon so Liverpool shirt from 1989 season and a Covid mask in the same design a leopard print bag full of leopard themed bits and chocs of cause salted caramel stuff too, oh and scampi.

things you can control/things you can't control. The first is shrinking daily , the second is all we have left. I know pouring booze down my neck would be a disaster right now.

Morning all.

I haven’t been on this thread for ages, so need to have a good read and catch up!

I’m 93 days sober today. Feeling quite different to how I was a couple of months ago. I rarely have the feeling to drink now, and even when I do it’s fleeting and not the compulsion it was.

I’m really, really enjoying sober life! I hadn’t realised how much alcohol was dominating my life until I had a bit of time sober and some distance from it. It’s such a relief, I can’t tell you!

Wishing you all lots of success with staying sober xxx

Hello
I'm going to read through all the older threads here but am posting now to hopefully start off a new habit and keep myself in check.
I spent the weekend with my boyfriend for the first time since March and ended up completely out of it. Was already realising I haven't got an off switch, so if I open a bottle of wine, it gets finished over several hours but finished! My son hasn't been happy about me sitting watching tv with wine, and definitely this past few weeks I've been doing it more (he hardly drinks).
A lot of my social life is around football, either watching with friends, boyfriend or going to games, and alcohol features massively (although I often drive so am on diet coke instead).
And it looks like as lockdown is easing, it could be easy to go back to old routines and socialising, but after Saturday I'm not wanting alcohol to be a part of it.
I've already decided no alcohol in the house for me (elder son isn't a drinker, younger son likes real ale, which I dont, so that should help).
This is getting long, sorry, but I just think if I have somewhere to check in at, and know that others are making adjustmentsxto other areas of their lives, it will motivate me too.

And I'm just going to add (sorry) that there are 2 things im going to find hard - theres the wanting to treat myself to relaxing on the sofa with wine as a kind of chill out/reward, and the other is as I start spending weekends more with my boyfriend, so much of that time is around pubs.

Oops, hit post by mistake...
So I need to change that, and I'm not sure how given we only see each other at weekends. Previous relationship was controlling so I didnt get time for myself and this one I'm probably going along too passively with, at times at least....so I need to find time where I do something I like for me, but not sure what yet!

Hi all
@quertyl - stringing the days together is really great - we all focus on the slip up days, and write off the sober ones. Just keep going, it's all we can do.

@AvoidingTheWineAisle, you've done amazingly well! I've had one slip up since April, felt like crap the next day, and have managed to stay sober since. I love the fact that I'm not planning how to moderate or whether to moderate, I just don't drink - like I don't do other drugs (well, I vape!). It's taken months to get to this point, but the freedom is great.
@Backtoanewnormal I totally get the need to reward yourself with drink. What I do when I fancy doing this is play the tape forward - imagine that lovely first drink, the reward - then imagine drinking the whole bottle. Imagine the crap night's sleep, the anxiety the next morning, and for me anyway, the feeling of shame that always overwhelms me.
As for what to do when going out - well I've had a few socially distanced drinks in my garden with friends over the last couple of weeks - they have wine - I have a nice bottle of Nosecco or AF red. Went to a BBQ last week - took Becks Blue AF lager. There are loads of non alco drinks available, a nice fruit cider by Koppenberg...lagers, etc.

Getting into a new way of thinking is key here - and bloody difficult - alcohol isn't a reward, a treat, a nice thing. Being sober, enjoying an event, remembering it, feeling good the next day is the best treat of all.

Last time I slipped up and drank (inhaled) a bottle of wine, I was horrible to my DD, and hated myself. I apologised, she accepted, but it left me feeling sad and like I'd let myself down. It really isn't worth it.

@Holothane hope you feel better now - love your birthday pressie list!

@randomer - you're right - there is nothing that drinking makes better, nothing at all.

Sx

Much better tiny dull ache but I can live with that so excited about my birthday list I brought the leopard print stuff myself and have kept it for the actual day,

That's useful, practicing thinking ahead. Being honest, it's almost always going to be me nodding off on the sofa and not quite remembering the last part of whatever I was supposedly watching. And then checking my sent emails and texts to make sure there arent any! So that's worth concentrating on too!
I'm not sure about non alcoholic versions of drinks, partly because I've never liked the wines or lagers. Cider versions might be nice? But I think soft drinks especially at home are likely to be easier for me to stick to.

I avoid non alcoholic drinks I don’t want the taste so I stick to soft drinks.

I stick to soft drinks at home too - but it's nice to have a bottle of blue Becks when I'm with others that are having a proper Becks!
I know some people find them triggering and get that.
Hope you're all ok.
Sx

I've decided that I dont want risk a step towards alcohol at home, at least right now, so am putting ice trays in the freezer and going to stock up on the "higher end" cans of drink that I usually ignore (in favour of own brand diet coke!). Its going to be cheaper than wine, still, and will hopefully feel like a treat. At least I know I like them, unlike AF wines!
Elder son is away this weekend and boyfriend is coming round. Thinking over the past few years with him, almost everything we do involves a drink somewhere (although he doesn't drive so I'm often not drinking as I do!). Definitely need to change that but I think that is going to mean I do more independently of him, which may be tricky as we only see each other at weekends anyway.

Got a Sunday lunch booked after my younger son's football training, so starting by saying I'm stopping alcohol at home, and dont want to feel "tired" on Sunday (so dont want to go to pub on Saturday instead of drinking at home).

So I'm aiming ahead at Sunday morning!
Hope everyone else is ok?

Sounds like you've got a plan @Backtoanewnormal, so good.
I have a couple of friends who I always associate with drinking, even if we meet up for a meal, we always have loads of wine. I plan to meet with them in a couple of weeks, and am already hatching a plan. Thing is, they drink heavily (as I did) and when I did a dry spell last year and met them, they didn't like me not drinking - it was as if I was letting the side down, (but I think they realised that they should cut down too, and it made them uncomfortable). Last thing I want to do, is make any one feel like that, but gone are the days when I drink to make them feel better about their drinking!
Take care

Still sober still in pain last couple of days nip nip nip to the bathroom, so fed up of this. Dull ache for a couple of days now it’s gone back to painful period again, so fed up with this.

Hope that your pain has eased off @holothane and the weekend is going ok for everyone.
My boyfriend arrived yesterday afternoon and suggested we all go to our pub as it was a sunny day, literally as soon as he arrived. Normally it would have been a lovely idea but it wouldn't have just been one drink, alcohol or not, so I said I'd rather stay home and watch what football was on tv. And we have sunday lunch out anyway.
No problem with that and lots of cups of tea and a cup a soup saw the day out. I'm wary of actually telling him I dont want to drink, more because it instantly then puts pressure on.
It is the times where people expect you to join in drinking that are going to be hard. Boyfriend will often say to me to get the bus, so I can have a drink (or several) and I know it's actually well intentioned on his part.

Sunday lunch and lime and soda to come in a few minutes though, and aiming at this has helped.

Elder son home tonight and no drink in the house, so hopefully the next few days will get me into a sensible evening routine!
Hope your planning for your meet up is feeling reassuring, @sophieB100!

Hope everyone is ok bit of pain but I can live with it, birthday on Friday, so lots of kindle novels this week and Liverpool stuff on Friday and my bag of leopard print goodies also a box of goodies from in-laws. Scampi was a treat.😊

Happy news we’ve just been to the very local co op and I’ve had loads of little treats like nice Ice cream and chocs and don’t laugh Belgium buns I love them as it’s count down till birthday, now this may seem childish but that’s how mine is celebrated as I don’t drink, another Liverpool present a gorgeous beanie hat has been ordered so excited now an big box has arrived from in-laws it’s on top of the cupboard I can’t reach😊

My night last turned to hell, from 7 o’clock I had five hours of utter agony, one codeine at 730 then one at 2 in the morning sigh, you all must be sick of me by now, but at least I’m sober. I try not to have too many codeine . as I know they’re addictive but wails in despair, but one positive thing I’ve a matching scarve and pyjamas for the Liverpool present men’s but they will fit around my stomach that way. Hips are a nightmare😊hugs to all of you stay strong and thank god for this thread.

Bad week pain wise 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊a miracle a night without pain, lovely birthday yesterday, except pain last night but some wonderful presents dh is trying to get me another Liverpool shirt. Hope everyone is ok I’m still sober. Hugs to all.

Hi jumping on the thread.
I currently drink only twice a week sometimes three but I'm rediculous when I do . Life n soul of the party, necking drinks like it's a race and dont stop till I've ran out of booze or passed out. I cant moderate it . I drink on a wednesday and a friday and it takes a full day of feeling like death after each one . I even plan my work knowing I wont be fit for purpose the next day . Wednesdays I tend to take it easier in the sense I start drinking later and I buy less as I know il drink it all. I cant keep alcohol in the house as i know il drink it so only buy when I'm planning to. I have never socialised with friends without alcohol being involved since I was about 14. I couldnt go in a pub and not order an alcohol beverage it's like I want that valve release on my brain and then I chase it then once I start drinking . I've always binge drank except when I had children. With all three pregnancies I was fine during pregnancy and fine after as I loved every minute. I had all three quite close together but after my third I had a breakdown they think I had long standing post natal depression and just didnt realise. before getting help I was drinking a full bottle of wine a night then it went to two bottles as one stopped having the same effect and then i broke down i got help but never told my dr about the drinking just how I felt mentally and I stopped myself . But now I drink huge amounts when I do so I have to watch how often I do . I plan my drink nights I dont drink out of the house in pubs as I know I go to far so I only drink in our home or friends homes . Family bbqs I'm rediculous it becomes an all day bender and I drink so quick . It diesnt help I get drunk very easily as in 2 drinks and I'm on my way but then I carry on and my drinks measures get bigger and bigger. I drink vodka and mixers. Fed up of the same merry go round and a little bit scared for my liver. I'd like to just drink normally on a night with friends but it never happens. Its tiring constantly trying to moderate but I cant get through a week without caving in .

Hugs try an hour at first them make it a day if not then half a day it will take time, I so don’t miss the hangover of death. 💐💐💐🤗

Day 98 for me - who'd have thought it??
But must confess to having a couple of glasses on 4 occasions. DH doesn't help as he wants me to drink along with him. However I can't face the guilt and self admonishing the next day - it's easier not to drink now I'm out of the way of it.
I think some of my drinking was due to anxiety over socialising - I don't mean huge get togethers, more that I'm anxious with other people, though didn't realise it, and I'd drink to help me 'relax' and be chatty. Lockdown has made me realise I need to do what suits me, not what I think society expects of me. For example, I am retired now, and felt I should be doing something worthy with my time. I was volunteering, which was very interesting, but was also very anxiety inducing for me, worried I'd not remember all the names, worried I'd say the wrong thing, worried I'd forget an appointment.
Doing less and being 'selfish' suits me better!!
I read that alcohol consumption had gone up 107% during lockdown. Though I suspect the figure will have tapered down over time.
But that is a lot of booze. Not good.