Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

Morning all, hello to all the newbies!
I'm still hanging on in there, but still not sleeping properly, but last night I was awake but less restless. The money I'm saving from no longer propping up the Prosecco economy, is going into a jar, and when I have enough I'm going to buy some lovely plants for my patio. Then I can sit there in the months to come, sipping my herbal tea, and admire them!
Still taking it one day at a time...so today, I won't drink.
Love to all, enjoy the sunshine!
x

Morning all.

@InFiveMins. You CAN do this. What @Teetotallyimperfect says is the truth.
You just need to find a way that works for you. I’m on Day 14 of no drinking. For the best part of the last decade I’ve struggled to go more than a few days without a drink. If I can get to two weeks, you can too. Have you got any quit lit/podcasts etc? AA is working for me, but everyone here is finding different things are helping. Stick around and see if anything suggested here helps. .

@Rupertpenrysmistress. Well done on Day 2! You’re right, I’m having to get off threads on MN where people are opening the Prosecco at 3pm. I just have to keep telling myself ‘either They're the people who can have a couple of glasses and then stop’ (not and will never be me) or they also have an alcohol problem but haven’t faced up to it yet.

@Peaches2222. I’m also finding exercise is keeping me straight. I’m a lifelong couch potato, so it’s a big change for me, but it is definitely helping distract me from drinking. I’m on Day 10 of daily yoga, which is so lovely. Started HIIT today and felt like I was going to die, but I am going to do it again tomorrow. I wouldn’t be doing exercise on a Sunday morning if I was still drinking. Gotta keep hold of those positives!

Have a lovely, sober Sunday everyone 🌷

@SophieB100

Cross posted with you. Hello! I laughed out loud at ‘propping up the Prosecco economy’. My local off licence must be wondering where ‘white wine lady’ has disappeared off to! .

Haha @StraightAndNarrow
Poor Rishi has enough to worry about without the pair of us causing a down turn in the wine industry!
Another good thing - I don't feel as bad when I put the recycling out anymore, all that clanking of bottles

I know what you mean, I would put the bottles out in stages! Need to find an alternative refreshing drink, what do people recommend?

@Rupertpenrysmistress- I hate tonic water but I’ve just bought Fever Tree soda (didn’t know they did it) - I got two bottles: one is ‘blood orange’ flavour and the other is ‘rose and raspberry’. Don’t know what they taste like yet but gonna open the rose and raspberry one tonight so I’ll let you know. Also got elderflower cordial which I’ll have with soda water and I’ve just bought some frozen blueberries to put in it. I also bought some lemon and cucumber flavoured VOSS water off Amazon. The bottles are really cool too. It’s nice but only a subtle flavour which suits me when I get sick of sickly sweet soft drinks etc. I also like ginger beer now and again.

Sausage crush, I felt like that for the first few days too. Almost groggy. I still don't feel 100% but I know these things take time. I definitely feel less anxious though.

Those sodas sound nice Peaches. Are they in the supermarket? I have just finished a Belvoir ginger beer which was quite nice. When I've stopped drinking before I've always tended to go for a non alcoholic lager - which is weird because I never touch the stuff if I'm drinking alcohol.

Feeling a bit flat and bored/boring this evening but I'm trying to remember it's all a con, and if I had a drink, I'd be doing exactly the same thing anyway. Fresh week tomorrow

@Rupertpenrysmistress, I like sparkling water with slices of lime and ice, and I love ginger beer. Actually Becks Blue really cold (almost frozen) is really good with a dash of lime. Would that be triggering though? It is almost like proper lager? Other than that, I drink a lot of decaf tea in the evenings. When I stopped last year, when life was normal and we could go to the supermarket and the shelves were full, Asda did a really nice non alcohol fizz called Nosecco. But I can't get an Asda delivery for love nor money.

So, after another day in sober lockdown, I'm off to bed to read. The evenings just seem sooooo long!
Stay sober. Protect your livers. Save money.
(See what I did there?

Haha! Very good, SophieB

Hi all. Would you mind if I joined?

A week sober today.

I’ve got Mr Allen Carr to thank for it. I found his book amazing.

I also read The Sober Diaries and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. (All three in 5 days .)

The latter contradicted Carr’s way a bit at times. So I’m currently reading his book again.

I’ve seen suggestions of The Naked Mind on here and that’s next on my list to order!

Anyway, a bit about me - your typical slippery slope drinker, started all those years ago with the nights out. Then DH and kids and houses and jobs and just general ups and downs of life turned up. I didn’t really get to drinking every night. It was mostly every other night. My problem was the sheer amount I could put away. A bottle? Wouldn’t touch the sides. Two bottles? Yep, that’s hit the spot. Shall I open the third? OK, I’ll have one or two out of it and call it a night.
A litre of gin would be finished over the course of Fri-Sun. Obviously this wasn’t every time I drunk or I’d be bankrupt, I probably averaged a bottle-and-a-half usually.

So, here I am. Day 7. I’m yet to see any physical benefits but mentally the mornings are a lot better. I am sleeping through again now whereas normally I was waking several times a night to gulp down water, panicking if I’d done/said anything stupid the night before.

Phew, that was long, sorry!

ghostonthedancefloor I second Allen Carr's book too. You have done really well to get to day 7 did you have hangovers? Or like me just feel a bit under Parr? I am only day 3 and have been here many times before.

I can relate to the waking in the night and running through the events of the night before, the panic and shame and self loathing. Interesting I always woke at 3am.

For me it's one day at a time I have done this so many times before, I can't believe I can quit for good. I am in awe when I see people on here who have been sober for years. I am pretty sure that's what I want too 😞.

Hi @Rupertpenrysmistress

Hmm, probably a full blown hangover quite rarely. Like you said, more a tired, anxious day following.

And thanks! Well done on day 3 too. I had my first wobble yesterday. We had a BBQ as the weather was so nice (just us obviously) which is a big trigger for me. I toyed and toyed with just saying to hell with it and picking up a bottle or two of wine, but what I thought was, and as a PP has said, thinking ahead to the crippling anxiety, and the disappointment at ‘failing’ - was enough to stop me. I bought a pack of 0% beers instead.

Another thing that helps me is knowing that I won’t stop at just one or two. “I’m one drink away from being drunk” as it says in the book.

And the part of the book that really stood out for me, was the situations we associate drinking with (in my case - the BBQs, the nice warm weather, a day working in the garden) etc etc, are already pleasurable experiences. I don’t need the alcohol to enjoy them.

You’ve made it through another day. So congratulate yourself. I wish you the best into day 4!

Morning everyone, and welcome @Ghostonthedancefloor.

I had so much identification with everything you said in your post. And yes, the waking up at 3am to gulp water and panic about the stupid shit you potentially did or said...the worst!

I’m on Day 15 today and that is the thing I am most relieved about not having to face. Off to an online AA meeting in a bit. One day at a time!

Have a good and sober day, all

Welcome, Ghost. Your trick of focussing on what makes the occasion special (ie not the alcohol) has worked for me too. I so nearly caved Saturday night when we had a quiz night because it just seemed normal to reach for the wine and nibbles. But actually it was better without. Once it started I was fine but I was anguishing over whether to drink or not for about 2 hours beforehand.

Rupert, I'm the same as you, I've been here so many times before. That's why I'm not telling anyone this time. No big declarations, I'm just not going to drink.

I've downloaded some sober podcasts for my drive to work today . Have a good day everyone.

@Teetotallyimperfect...yes, I got the Fever Tree drinks from Sainsburys. The rose and raspberry was ok...rose taste was quite strong which I usually really like but wasn’t sure.
@Ghostonthedancefloor...yes, Allen Carr really resonated with me last time I quit too. Think I’ll read this again. I would also wake in the night gasping for a drink- I used to take 2 pints of juice to bed with me and drink them both throughout the night. Such broken sleep. And that 3/4am wake up....urgggh. I would have trouble remembering what I had watched or conversations the night before and when my 17 year old was utterly shocked that I couldn’t remember a conversation we’d had the night before, I stepped it up to cover my tracks. I started to ‘chart’ the evening in the notes section on my phone and write down ‘Key’ conversations with my kids or husband, what I’d watched on tv, whose post I had commented on on Facebook and the next day I would make a point of mentioning something that had happened (however minor) the night before to subtly let the family know that I was in full control and certainly don’t have a problem. It’s bloody exhausting and shameful. I just don’t ever want to do that again.
1 week sober here. Have a good day everyone. X

Well done everyone. I’m going to try and join in, too. Very familiar stories. I’m very much a habitual drinker-three or four 125ml glasses a night, every night. Dinner is my trigger-if I can get through dinner af I can manage the evening, mainly.

It's a funny thing alcohol, it takes so much and gives so little so why the lure? It's crazy - shows how addictive it is.

Without it I am happy and content, I am a better mother and wife why would I want to trade that.

I am day 4 today and feel good, bad night last night but that was down to the cats!! I am tired today but feel relieved it is down to the cats and not the wine. Think I might try some Becks blue later. Trying to have something to look forward to if that makes sense.

I will not tell anyone I what I am doing at the moment as I think it adds to the pressure. Hope you all have a fantastic day and thank you all for you help 💐.

Sorry, I did use paragraphs but the app clearly did not agree.

Welcome @ghostonthedancefloor I can totally relate to your entire post. And yes to being able to drink gin like water 🙈

Welcome @Haggisfish. I've found sticking up on posh cordials and tonic helps. The bitter edge of the tonic makes the drink feel more like an alcohol alternative to my taste buds.

There are a few recommendations for Allen Carr on here, I used his giving up smoking book with success years ago so I've downloaded it to give it a go. First impression is that This Naked Mind has used the same principle? I'll read the whole thing over the next week.

A new week and and we are still standing 💪♥️ Day 12 for me. It is getting easier as I'm not having so many 'oh it's gin o'clock...wait, I forgot. Tonic it is' moments. Which were bloody disappointing.
My challenge this week is to continue to move more and eat less as I'm about 5lb up (still bloated so hoping it's water)

@sophieB100 I like the slogan 😂😂

Stay strong all.

I bloody love Stay sober. Protect your livers. Save money. @SophieB100

Thank you all so much for the warm welcome!

@Rupertpenrysmistress that’s true. I used to think alcohol made me a better mother! The truth is.. I’ve already got it in me to have a boogie with them, just general silliness that kids love. I don’t need a glass of wine in hand to enjoy that. And in fact, I’m already seeing the benefits of ‘being in the present’ as such. No conscious effort, it’s sort of just come over me. I like the brutal honesty of Clare Pooley (Unexpected Joy) when she said about all she could think about was getting the kids out of the way so she could relax with her wine.

@Peaches2222 gosh yes. That does sound like hard work. When you’re hankering for a drink, it may be worth looking back at those notes to remind you you hopefully never have to do that again? And what a lovely feeling that will be.

@Straightandnarrow day 15 is fantastic. Keep going. You’ve passed the two week mark! As is your day 12 @Saltypotato

@Rupertpenrysmistress....yes, the first and only time I properly tried to quit last year, I didn’t tell anyone except my husband. It definitely helped to just be blasé about it... ‘oh I’m driving tonight’...’oh I’m on weight watchers and have no spare points’....then the convo was over. I’m trying to except use twice a day at the moment - morning and night so I sort of look forward to that in the evening. I do it during the witching hour which is probs 6-8 for me. If I exercise, come home for a shower then cook dinner, I’m getting on for 8 and I’m fine then. I said I wouldn’t eat badly this time as I want to lose weight and so far, so good but I am eating lots of skittles in the evening as a treat and strangely, I really look forward to this!! Whatever gets us through!!

Meant to say ‘I’m trying to exercise twice a day’ !!!

How do you help someone who doesn’t see any issues .. my other half drinks every night without fail 4 5 or up to 8 cans.. not drinking to be drunk just drinking because it’s something he does and sees as normal to relax .. I think It’s an issue am I being OTT ? Iv said It’s an issue but it just makes us argue and I get upset the issue gets dropped and then the next day it will be the same nightly thing I front of the tv

Think Iv posted on the wrong one sorry but still any comments would be good