Wankerbastards move to 2020. With moderatin' a plenty. We rage against flouncers, strops and teens, and of dryness we have big dreams. We want teacups not fuckups!

[Frouby]

Thread 9 for the tryers to be dryers. Join us if you want some support to reduce alcohol. All welcome for support, laughs and moderating.

Will tag a few peoples name I can spell as I am useless at clicky links.

@flossie
@madameforest
@longestlurkerever
@dionoysa
@waterandlemonjuice

BTW, as you can see, I'm finding any excuse not to sort out my admin pile or do any work!!

Dionysa as you can see, I’m still on the sofa! 😂

This group reminds me of when I lived somewhere with a party phone line. You could all get on and happily natter for hours about something and nothing. Very comforting :).

I am impressed with pp on this thread doing week and weeks AF, I don't think I have managed more than a week aside from pregnancies. I've been reading several books this week though and suspect (if any of you are mid 40s) that we all started in 6th form, went mad at uni, got jobs where drinking after work was normal and before you know it you're drinking every night at home.

Bit daunted at the idea of being AF forever though. Will take it slowly and see if I can 'normalise' first. Am I being too optimistic😂?

Well Ive been quite productive so far. Took tree and decs down, tidied downstairs and done loads of washing. Then tackled my drawers/wardrobe. 2 bags of clothes for the recycling bin, 2 to pass on of my stuff plus a bag full of ds stuff. I can now actually get clean clothes put away without having to squash everything down.

Am slightly ashamed of how many pairs of jeans I have that are a size too small 🙈. At least 8 pairs. Also discovered I have a lot more underwear than I thought, though I do need new bras. But am good for knickers and socks for at least a year.

It's quite mild and sunny here, feels almost spring like. Party this afternoon with ds then will no doubt be having a few beers.

Frouby, we were supposed to be taking the tree down and putting the decs away, but the teenagers have all mysteriously de-materialised so it is still waiting to be done.

Tipsey, I haven't managed more than about three days in more than three years.

My pattern is a bit different, and is all the more stupid for it. I am in my 40s but didn't go out when I was in the sixth form and was teetotal for much of university until I had a BF who introduced me to Czech lager . I was then pretty much a non-drinker until I left abusive XH and became involved with my current DP (who deals in wine - oh the irony). I'm now in a state of permanent stress with DP, XH, teenagers, money, work etc, and have just slithered into a very bad drinking habit. I also have chronic pain (alcohol takes the edge off this) and anxiety (alcohol makes this far worse...)

Determined to move from the kitchen table now.

Had a fun day at Harry potter's studio with dd1! She is beautifully behaved 1:1 and in her element nerding over her favourite stuff. Fancy a glass of wine now though but dh is being all puritan with his diet. I imagine i can tempt him to join me in a sherry, so i will channel my great aunties.

Little dn was a bit poorly, they were threatening to admit him to hospital but he is on the mend now- turned out to be an ear infection, poor mite. Think dsid is a bit done in, she just drove back from northern Scotland on no sleep.

Waving to everyone. Nodding along at drifting back to normal. Have actually been reasonably moderate post Christmas. 4 AF days and lots of swimming this week. Aiming for park run before we set off to Brighton though i have not packed. Is only one night, work of a moment right?

Will take 10 mins longest. Tops. Pjs, underwear, clean clothes, emergency hoodie/cardie/jacket. Job done.

4 beers here but probably the last proper drink of the Christmas break. Am at a party tomorrow I am driving to and probably too late to drink when I get home, then definetly dry sunday cos back to normal on monday.

Went to a school party with ds tonight which was nice. My gast was a bit flabberes though speaking to one of my school mum friends. Our ds's are quite close and have been since private nursery. Shes younger than me, early 30s and has a bit of a toxic relationship with a complete bell end. He's chatty and pleasant to me, but their relationship has had it's ups and downs. Anyhow, she told me they have split up over Christmas because he has admitted to being addicted to crack cocaine 🤮🤮. Jesus fuck, am not a prude with anything like that and although I don't do anything these days and haven't for years I know a bit of cocaine is considered as normal as having a drink in some circles. But crack seems so sordid and other wordly.

Have told her she is well shot and she should stay well away but I bet she has him back. Already taken him to counselling etc. Her ds isn't his thank goodness which is one thing at least but it's so disturbing to think he has been doing this while he is responsible for a child. Shocked me a bit and I am very open minded.

Just hope she sticks by what she has said tonight but I bet she has him back.

Had a lovely but very spicy curry for dinner. I expect it will work it's magic om my post Christmas sluggish bowel. Contemplating a loo roll in the freezer 😂😂😂😂

Crack is outside my frame of reference too Frouby. Mind you, most drugs are, i am very square really. I hope she doesn't get back with him.

Managed to stick to 1/4 bottle last night and had an early night. Was fine, but not a very exciting Friday night. Tonight am considering one glass with dinner and going to bed when the kids do, since we are sharing a room. Again, fine as a one off novelty, quite looking forward to it, but doesn't feel a great long term option. What do all these one glass of wine a week people DO of a weekend? I'd love to know.

Park run was packed, full of new year's resolution casuals. I felt very smug, but still came nearly last. Pah. Still, i don't pay for ot all week any more so making progress.

Longest, it’s still,impressive, actually doing a run! As is your moderating.

Frouby, I’d be shocked at crack addiction too, I don’t know anyone who does crack. Thankfully. I hope she doesn’t go back to him.

Tipsey, a party phone line, that takes me back! We had one when I was a child, only shared with an old lady who rarely made calls thankfully

Dh and I had a brilliant night out, went to a restaurant for Thai food then a wine bar then the pub then back to bed. We have sorted out our life plan for 2020 and we reminisced a bit and laughed and it was just a lovely night. Swoony actually.

Ds got safely back with the girl and she seems nice. Life feels quite cheerful and calm, about time too... Have some wine in the fridge still so intending drinking tonight but then going AF for the rest of January and maybe some of Feb, we’ll see.

Longest, ds goes to the gym at least once a day and says January is annoyingly busy with all the new years resolutions but apparently they’re pretty much all gone by the end of February 😂

Yeah, my spin class was chocka this morning. I was late actually and had to drag a bike out from the back. It’s nice that the instructor knows me though, so she shouted my name across the room and I didn’t feel a total pleb 😂

Crack’s another league, isn’t it? Up there with the big H. It’s not one I’ve come across in my social circles although I’ve known friends husbands who have destroyed their marriages with drug addiction. I was a raver in my youth but I’m becoming more and more anti-drugs as the years go on.

Water your night sounds lovely. I miss swoony nights out. Maybe I’ll have some this year, who knows?

What’s everyone up to today? I’d planned to do my house but I seem to have shoehorned 2 separate coffee dates and a cinema trip in, so that might be tomorrow’s job instead.

water that sounds a lovely night and am glad things see calm at the moment.

I like calm too, and after the chaos of December am quite looking forward to a peaceful few months. Although I love being busy doing outdoor things like ponies and allotment and watersports I do like a bit of a break over January and February before we start with the madness.

Am very much hoping she doesn't go back with him, but suspect she will. She's a nice lass, and I get on well with her but her ex is an absolute knobber. He's a full weight wankerbastard and I have to admit I have pulled back from her a lot over the last 6 months as I don't want to associate outside of school stuff with someone who is involved with someone like that. And it makes me question her judgement as well. My other school mum friend is very square, very lovely and very much on my wavelength but has already more or less stopped speaking to other one so I get a bit stuck in the middle. It's very much like being back at school sometimes 😂😂😂.

Anyhow, off to a surprise 70th birthday party later. Am driving so will be dry. Weighed myself this morning and wasn't as bad as I thought. 3kg on which considering I have classed beer as a food group for all of December isn't too horrendous.

Have done a bit of business admin this morning, tidied round and done yet more washing. Going to have lunch, maybe a nan nap and then get ready for party later.

Had some bad news re auntie with poorly liver. She came out of hospital yesterday but has to keep going to hospital daily to monitor bloods. But they have found a 7mm lesion in her liver, not sure yet what it is. Could be a secondary cancer or could be cirrhosis possibly or could be something else. But at the moment she's comfortable so thats one good thing.

Ive just come out from a 1 h deep tissue massage. A treat from the other half so im ready to go back to work on Monday... nothing will get me ready for that. Planning on spending the rest of the day on the sofa and getting chinese later. Gonna try another AF night. This is the best ive done in probably the last 4 years.
*frouby Yeah... the crack is a bit much... you do tend to stereotype crackheads dont u... i get the dabbling in some drugs when you're young and dumb but surely there comes a time when you disengage from that or at least the hard ones.... addiction is a fucker... hope she doesnt go back...
The OH has already been complaining about the gym bein choka... not something i will experience as i never go... woops...
Glad to hear about your lovely night out @waterandlemonjuice ! Isn't it lovely when life just falls in place and you can relax and enjoy for a while!
Ill go Back to finding a movie to watch....

Ah frouby, 3kg is nothing, it’s a large beef joint! I feel enormous and am indeed enormous but being AF will help in January. I’m sorry about your auntie but glad she’s comfortable. Pmsl at ‘full weight wankerbastard’ - I’m going to use that expression. My iPad autofills to ‘wankerbastard’ if I type the first four letters 😂

NC4 I hope your coffee dates and cinema were good. That’s impressive that the instructor knows your name. Bet your classes will be smaller by the end of Feb too.

Improvements, well done, the best you’ve done for four years is a great achievement. 🙂

I’ve been lazing in bed with books. Have had a cuddle and a chat with dd and a long nice phone call with my mum. May watch some tv in a bit. Dh is cooking later and we’re planning a reasonably early night.

Skimmed another drinking thread and wish I hadn’t as fatty liver is mentioned so now I’m worrying about that but am reading a book about worrying less to try to counteract it. FGS!

I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend.

water I have been doing a bitnof reading about fatty liver and cirrhosis due to auntie. It's literally very sobering BUT it's a 10 to 20% chance that a very heavy drinker (6 plus pints a night equivalent) will go on to develop cirrhosis. So unless you are drinking more than that every day any potential damage you may have done is reversible.

Auntie has been a functioning alcoholic for about 15 to 20 years I would say. Prior to that she was a scarcely functioning alcoholic for about 10 years. Then prior to that a non functioning alcoholic from being about 13 to 14. So she's had an awful lot of alcohol over the years and it's still looking more like cancer than cirrhosis though the alcohol damage will have made cancer more likely.

I am definetly cutting right down though this year. Am quietly fuming at having to drive tonight though and would be a much happier bunny right now if I had a drink or could look forward to one later. Especially as birthday party is in a pub.

Hoping for a nice buffet as consolation 😁

Oh Frouby, I ♥️❤️❤️ You, thank you for that!

Well AF tonight was cancelled. Got ready and felt all glamorous and cross because I wasn't drinking and dh will be. So compromised with driving over, leaving car there and getting a taxi home. Sigh.

But feel much happier to not have to drive home. To be fair we very, very, very rarely go out out. Last time was our wedding anniversary in May so I don't mind too much.

Skinny jeans feel a bit too skinny though 😂😂😂😂🙈

I feel like i have to come back and report. Not AF after all... last saturday of holidays, netflix and the DP has kindly agreed to have a beer with me he is goin all dry january, gym, diet (usual) madness. So yeah... im a happy bunny sipping my beer watching zombie movies.
Hope ur Saturday night is great ladies! X

Morning all! Glad you had nice evenings Frouby and improvements. Brighton is fun. Some kind soul with a tantrumming toddler gave us a card with £15 still on for the rides at the pier, we saw murmurations of starlings over the sunset and there are lots of fun second hand shops and restaurants. I had half a mulled cider, a can of craft beer and an early night, which was just as well as both girls were awake in the night.

Dh is all for upping sticks and moving here. I am less sure, would be lots of compromise involved. Still sey ony Edinburgh plan, though it's more difficult to pull off. Or staying in London. Maybe.

Got a personal best in the park run. Think i am going to have to lose quite a lot of weight to get much better. Clothes are also tighter post Christmas but not as bad as last year so am going to continue with the exercise and add in serious moderation and sensible eating and see how i go. Playing the long game!

How is everyone else?

Not AF last night either for me. But I'm practising 'mindful' drinking now til I start properly on Monday. This means starting later, interspersing with water, sipping not gulping and stopping earlier. Also have stopped spirits. I think I got a bit overkeen during the summer holidays on fun cocktails and kept doing it when I got back. Interesting and scary information on the liver, hope your auntie is feeling okay.

Definetly the right decision to have a few beers, had a fab night. Home for 10pm which is late for us but feel absolutely fine this morning. Had about 6 halves and 1 gin so not horrendous and am now quite happy about being AF today and for a good few days.

Just made a cooked breakfast, need to clean kitchen and go shopping for a few bits for dinner later. Want to clean upstairs, take dog for a nice walk and then do dinner and eat that, have a bath and snuggle up on the sofa to watch Call The Midwives.

Ds has announced he's not getting dressed today and is having a duvet day. He will struggle getting up tomorrow. His alexa alarm went off at 8am this morning abd he was furious 😂😂😂.

Glad you had a good night Frouby and you improvements.

Longest, we are considering upping sticks and moving to the sea this year too. We need to sell which means some redecorating first but I’d love to be living by the sea by September. That’s the plan anyway, eek!

So today is day 1 AF and I’ve just claimed my teacup. I feel happy about it and highly motivated so reckon I’ll do January AF and maybe a bit of February too.

Sounds like some very lovely Saturday evenings all round. I went to the cinema with my mum. We saw Jojo Rabbit, which I wasn't sure about from the reviews and blurb, but was actually quite endearing.
Had a couple of glasses of AF wine but it was a bit naff really. I think I'm happier on decaf tea in the evenings.
Treating myself to a lie in this morning. I haven't had any time to myself for weeks, and I have both boys away till teatime. I've managed to break the back of the housework and I've also made a decision to step away from the website I edit. It's too much responsibility for not enough return and it's taking up headspace that I need elsewhere. I started doing a few hours as a favour a few years ago but it's escalated to a level I'm not happy with. Just making that decision has made me feel less stressed.

I'm doing gammon for tea tonight. Planning a swim later this afternoon then into the cloak of sobriety for a cosy evening.

Skimmed another drinking thread and wish I hadn’t as fatty liver is mentioned so now I’m worrying about that but am reading a book about worrying less to try to counteract it. FGS!

Water, I know it's not funny, but the way you put it made me laugh.

Everyone seems to be doing quite well. Longest, Brighton is fab, but I can see why you might have reservations (I imagine a commute would be among them).

Frouby, hugs for you and your Auntie. I'd steer a bit clear of Mrs Crackhead, too. Drugs are completely out of my experience, so I'm a bit wimpy, but I would be very wary of someone who left children in the care of someone on crack.

NC4, I've had those kinds of jobs too. They start out as a small favour, and end up being a lot of work and stress for not much gain!

Tipsey, spirits are my weak point too. FML. I have to drink a huge amount of wine to get the same effect as a much smaller amount of spirits, and then I start worrying about calories.

Have only managed one AF day (1st Jan), but did stop last night just because I got bored of myself and went to bed instead.

Improvements, well done on your improvements.

DC must be returning to school this coming week. Yay.